Author: Vigilluminatus PM
Each girl believes that the other two stopped caring about her or each other. Their fear of separation makes them use unsisterly methods to reverse that, but what will happen if a villain takes advantage of their feelings of guilt? Shoujoaiish at times.Rated: Fiction T - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Bubbles & Blossom - Chapters: 12 - Words: 43,520 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 11-14-07 - Published: 08-18-07 - Status: Complete - id: 3731220
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Well, since my last fanfic was quite cheesy in my opinion, I thought that I should try it again. This one is a rather dark fanfic, and I guess the charas are quite OOC. Nonetheless it's fascinating to think about what the girls would be willing to do if they thought their sisters were going to leave them. It's not really femslash in my opinion, but all of their feelings are portrayed as being very intense, so you may think differently.
I don't own the show or the charas.
I'm not a baby anymore. But they don't see it. Can't see it. And it's my own fault.
I'm Bubbles Utonium. You may now say that I don't need to tell you anything more, that you know everything about me from television. That I'm 18 years old, right now finishing Townsville High School, and that I'm still living with my dad – the Professor – and my two sisters. You may also say that I'm one of the prettiest girls in town, with my blond pigtails reaching my shoulders, my slender and delicate-looking figure – although I'm anything but weak – and my ever-present smile brightening my cute face. Thank you for saying that, by the way.
And of course you'd never forget to say that I'm also a tough superheroine, fighting monsters and supervillains on a weekly base and protecting my hometown since birth. That I'm every boy's dream come true, strong, beautiful and cheerful. Although my boyfriends so far have been either disappointed, when some villain interrupted a date and I had to leave, or rather intimidated by my ability to heave their cars with just one hand and put them down again in a small parking space. Okay, that was foolish, I know. Buttercup laughed herself silly when I told her, and even Blossom and the Professor couldn't hide their grins altogether. So I'm single right now, but it doesn't bother me that much. The Professor said once, that there definitely is a boy somewhere out there who's not afraid of my strength or frustrated by my sudden duties. I believe him and sometime I'll find this boy.
But I'm running off the topic. Actually you know nothing about me, the real me. Like them. Like my sisters.
We have been together all our life. Since the Professor created us in his lab by mixing together the ingredients little girls are made of – sorry, I can't tell you what, the Professor forbid us to do that after Mojo Jojo created the Rowdyruff Boys – we have been fairly close sisters. We went to the same kindergarten and elementary school, we attended most of the classes in Junior High together and we are still spending lots of spare time in High School together, not to mention that we still live in the same house, although we got separate rooms a few years ago. And we're still fighting evil as a team, each girl looking out for the other two.
That doesn't mean that we don't ever quarrel, by no means! It's clear you never visited us at home! Buttercup has been teasing me since our birth. She was never cruel… okay, hardly ever, but she did apologise when she had gone too far. I've always been the crybaby and Buttercup the tough one, so to others it seemed that my cute-little-girl-behaviour was unnerving my sister to no end. I think that's only half the truth. I know Buttercup much better than you, and I know that she has a soft side too. I think deep inside she wanted me to become tougher, so that no one, not even herself, could ever take advantage of my weaknesses again. I think she did a fairly good job, for right now I'm not such a crybaby anymore, although of course I'm still not as self-confident as she and Blossom are.
And Blossom… me and Blossom aren't fighting that much. She gets frustrated sometimes when I can't understand something she explained, and then she usually scolds me a little, but we never really fight. But Blossom and Buttercup do quarrel very often. Yes, the "brains vs. brawn"-thing, you got it. They have always been fighting about how we should fight villains. And ever since we reached puberty they have extended their fighting topics. Buttercup has always been kind of a rebel, and so she is now. She likes engaging in risky sports – although there is hardly anything risky enough when it comes to us girls, as Blossom stated once dryly – in her spare time and prefers hanging out with boys than with girls, sometimes even "bad" boys. No, not Rowdyruff-bad, but the kind of boys with piercings and motorbikes. She enjoys "thrills" and often argues that Blossom doesn't know how to have fun.
Blossom has always been the calm, collected one. She is analytical and I guess she is disappointed by Buttercups behaviour. She HAS had boyfriends, but her situation seems to be worse than mine, since she is pretty and strong like me, but highly intelligent too. I guess boys don't really like it when the girl is better in everything they do, be it sports or chess. She usually doesn't like the guys Buttercup is hanging out with, but she has clearly stated that this is Buttercups life and she won't tell her what to do. But she seems to forget that when she and Buttercup start arguing again. I've often tried to calm them down, but usually they just snapped at me not to interrupt them. Sometimes Buttercup was really heated up and insulted me, and then I'd retract to my room and wait till they calmed down again.
Don't get me wrong, I don't think they hate each other. But I have to admit that today they are fighting even more often then they did when we were kids, sometimes it gets so bad that even Blossom isn't against going out and fighting hand to hand anymore. The Professor once told me that it's a perfectly normal thing that siblings grow more distant when they hit this certain age between child- and adulthood, but if he tried to calm me down with that, he did a bad job. I hate to see these two important people in my life hurt each other. It makes me… scared. Scared that the bond between us may sometime… break.
Now it's out. I'm terribly afraid of losing my sisters. I got over most of my childhood fears years ago, I guess Buttercup indeed managed to make me a little tougher. But this is a new kind of fear, a fear that never goes away and that gets stronger every time Blossom and Buttercup start bickering again. A fear that keeps me up at night sometimes. These are the times when I revert to childhood and start crying again. Of course my sisters can hear me sob, we've got enhanced hearing after all.
Usually it is Blossom coming to my room then and comforting me. She has always been there for me when the Professor was asleep or not at home to soothe me. Mostly she lies down next to me, pulls me in a close hug and asks me what's wrong. And then I act like a little girl again, hugging her back and asking her with a childish, shaking voice, why she and Buttercup can't stop fighting each other. She says nothing for quite some time and after that she answers, that there is nothing to worry about, that everything is okay again. And then I ask her with the same, childish voice, if she could stay with me for that night. And I really want that, because I really want to believe that everything is going to be fine between us, but I can't when I look at how often they're fighting over the simplest reasons.
I've always liked lying close to Blossom. What are you looking at me like…? Wait, not like that, you perverts! Boys, I swear! I'll tell you once and for all, I'm NOT gay, but since we never had a mother I've always been very close to my sisters. Of course the Professor is the best daddy in the world, but I guess every girl needs a very close female person while growing up. And when Blossom comes to comfort me, when I hear her whispering soothing words while she is stroking my hair, then I sometimes catch myself thinking of her more as a mother than as a sister. I guess it makes some sense when you remember that she is the most mature out of us sisters… but when that happens, I always feel even guiltier. Although I'm nearly grown up, I continue playing the role of a frightened child in front of Blossom to make her stay with me. To make it harder for her, if she once decides to leave our family. To make her feel guilty, if Buttercup manages to drive her away from us one of these days. To make it impossible for her to leave me. Cause I don't want to lose her.
Didn't I say "even guiltier"? It's true, that's not the whole story. Blossoms feelings aren't the only ones I'm manipulating. My other sister is a victim of me too. Are you shocked now? That cute little Bubbles is playing with her sister's minds? If my sisters knew that, they wouldn't have been so surprised, when I told them that I wanted to study psychology after High School. They always thought I'd do something including art or languages – if at all, since I'm not the brightest – but I'm able to learn any language in days, so why bother? Nowadays I know why I can do that. I can do some kind of telepathy to learn languages from others when I need them. And no, I can't force people to do certain things, and do you really think I would do that to my sisters? I'm not a psychopath!
Aside from this special kind of telepathy I'm also very sensitive with feelings, I think that's called "empathy". That's why I want to study psychology, because I can sense the feelings of others by just looking at them, and because I want to understand them better. And it scares me when I sense the feelings of my sisters when they are fighting. Anger, of course. Obstinacy, well, surprise, they were always stubborn. Hurt, when one of them says something cruel. Hidden guilt, which I don't know why, and… excitement. That's what scares me most. Part of them seems to like hurting the other one, with words and sometimes even fists. Okay, they are very much alike of course, so it may be the excitement of fighting against a worthy enemy, but nonetheless it's frightening. I can't stop thinking that sometime one of them will hurt the other one beyond hope for forgiveness. And that's why I'm doing everything I can to make them feel guilty.
Yes, Buttercup too. Oh, you think that my tomboyish sister could never feel that way? That's not true, because it isn't always Blossom who visits me at night or after one of their fights. When I continue crying long enough and Blossom doesn't show up, then very rarely an irritated Buttercup opens the door and demands to know why I'm keeping her from sleeping. Then I hastily wipe off my tears and tell her that it's nothing. I'm shameless. I know exactly, that when I pretend to be okay after crying so long, then she won't go until I tell her what's wrong. And then I continue to deny everything and to look like a picture of misery until she begins to feel a little guilty. And when that happens, then I have won.
At this point she sits down and asks me again, with a gentler, concerned voice. And then I tell her that it's nothing, that I don't wanna bother her with my stupid problems, and she says that we're a family and that she can't stand to see me like that. Well, I think you can guess where this is going to end. Usually Buttercup doesn't stay in my room all night, that's not her style. She is the tough one, not a softie, and even if she succumbs to my subtle manipulations most of the time, she just makes sure that I stop crying, that I tell her that I'm scared of losing her and Blossom because of their fights. Then she assures me that this won't happen and gets out of my bed again.
Yes, don't look so shocked! Buttercup isn't a sociopath, she can express her feelings! She can hug her baby-sister if she thinks it is necessary. That may be why I'm feeling even guiltier when it's Buttercup comforting me. She doesn't like showing how deeply she cares for us, but I'm forcing her to do so. I still think that this is necessary, that I must make her and Blossom remember our bond, just to stop them from hurting each other too much. But I'm feeling bad, so bad, when Buttercup leaves my room and I know that I've betrayed her trust in me.
I'm scum. I want to be able to show my sisters that I'm not a baby anymore, that I'm a young woman now, but I can't. I have no choice but to pretend to still be childish, no choice but to lie to them, force them to feel guilty, in order to safe our family. I'm selfish, yes. I know that we will go separate ways someday, but until that day comes, I'll do everything I can to keep our family together. Even if it means using their feelings against them.
I don't know what they'll do if they ever find out what I'm doing. I don't want to know. If that ever happens, then I hope they will see that I just wanted to protect them. That I just wanted to keep them from hurting each other. I'm not sure if they'll be able to forgive me, but I can still hope. Hope that they never find out, what cruel things people are willing to do because of love and fear. People like me. Cute little girl Bubbles Utonium.