8

Blue: Hello! Does anyone remember this story?

Boque: I do!

Billy: I’d like to forget…

Blue: Sorry I haven’t updated in more than eight months. But if you remember correctly, I said I had gotten a job. So I was busy with that and high school. I thought that as soon as I graduated, I’d be able to finally update. But then the most miserable thing happened. I LOST MY INTERNET! So I lost my will to go on!

Billy: Melodramatic, much?

Blue: And during the summer, I got tricked into starting college early! But now here’s the good news. We’re starting our finals. And then we get a week off before next quarter. And I quit my job! So maybe I’ll be able to finish the first Cliché Goes before Halloween! Keep hope alive guys!

Billy: Warnings for this chapter include totally random happenings of the Blue’s insanity kind, more fan-girls, more fan-guys, cosplayers, singing and dancing, character bashing, youth, extreme OOCness, and Naruto versus fruit.

Boque: Blue does not own Soulja Boy, or any the Offspring songs. However, she did a very special mix of Crank that Soulja Boy. Enjoy!

--

8. Go Out with an Apple!

What a peaceful afternoon. Kakashi was definitely glad for this.

‘That has bad idea written all over it!”

He had no more missions for the day…

‘You chicken!’

‘I’m not chicken! You guys are just idiots…Suicidal idiots.’

… The rest of Squad Seven was out of his ear…

‘We’re doing it for the sake of the game.’

‘Funny, this doesn’t seem to have anything to do with the game.’

‘You kidding? The concept is based on a cliché.’

… And now he had the whole rest of the day to himself…

‘It’ll be fun.’

‘Anything that’s their idea is not fun. Count me out.’

‘You’re so lame!’

‘You guys are going to die. And I’m not going to your funerals.’

And he intended to spend his alone time with his favorite book—‘Make Out Paradise.’ The book which he went about reading undisturbed as he walked down the calm streets of Konoha. Yep, Kakashi Hatake had a day of pure bliss scheduled.

“Ello, Kakashi-sensei!” … Or, so he thought.

Upon lowering his book, he saw the source of the greeting. Such relief, it wasn’t one of those annoying kids from his squad. It was just some girl he didn’t know that he’d briefly met yesterday. “Hello…erm…”

“Blue!” She offered with a toothy grin.

Kakashi’s one visible eye curled into a smile. “Yes, Blue. How are you?”

“I’m fine, thanks for asking,” Blue told him quickly. Her dark brown eyes locked dangerously on the orange book he was holding in front of himself. Kakashi found that look she was giving his book to be thrown off by that semi-innocent smile she had plastered on her brown face. “So…” She rocked back and forth on her heels. “What ‘cha reading?”

Kakashi lowered the book only slightly. “Just a book.”

“Obviously,” Blue sneered. Her expression turned mischievous, something Kakashi could recognize. “What kind of book?”

“You know. Just some book.”

Blue nudged the Jonin playfully with her elbow. “I bet it’s something perverted, right?”

Kakashi couldn’t lie about that much. He simply nodded.

“Can I take a peek?”

“Sorry.” Kakashi sounded very insincere. He tucked the book behind his back. “This isn’t a book for minors.”

“Hey, I’m an adult! … Just…a short one….Let me see! Let me see!”

“No, no, no!” Kakashi teased. He was getting a sick enjoyment from watching the shorter girl try and take the book from him while he easily evaded her. Tall bastard.

In the middle of his amusement, Kakashi suddenly whirled abound to put his back to Blue. Blue froze in her place. “Now what do you think you’re doing?” Kakashi asked.

The Yaashiin that had been behind him that he was now facing smiled innocently. “Does it really seem like I’m doing something?” He asked.

“Are you saying you’re not?”

“I said no such thing!” Laughed the twin.

“So what’re you doing?”

“Nothing.”

“Nothing?”

“What?”

“You’re not doing anything?”

“Says who?”

“You.”

“When?”

“Just now.”

“No I didn’t.”

“Then what’re you doing?”

“Something.”

“Something as in…”

“Nothing.”

“Stop.”

“Stop what?”

“Stop this.”

“Go!”

“What?”

“Go right!”

“What’re you…”

“Sorry. I thought we were calling out random directions.” The Yaashiin laughed.

By this point in the conversation, Kakashi was desperately trying to suppress his annoyance. Something suddenly caught his attention though. “Weren’t there two of you?”

The twin blinked. “Two of me? Like a clone?”

Blue laughed. “No way! A clone of him would be terrible!”

“Blue-sama is so mean!”

Something about this situation seemed off to Kakashi. He clearly remembered seeing two of this person the day before and it most certainly hadn’t been a clone. He quickly spun around. “I thought so!”

The other twin behind him grinned. “Oh dear, I’ve been found out!” He feigned distress with his hands tucked behind his back.

“Now what’re you up to?” Kakashi asked suspiciously.

“Does it really seem like I’m up to something?”

“Yes!” Kakashi’s annoyance was being made apparent.

“Well I never!” The twin put on an offended pout.

“Now, now, Takuya,” spoke Blue. “Now’s not the time to--gimme the book!”

“Ally-oop!” The twin Kakashi was facing threw something orange he’d been hiding behind his back over Kakashi’s annoyed silver head to the authoress who caught it.

Kakashi’s eye widened the instant he’d realized what that orange thing was. He turned around to face Blue who was holding his book in her brown hands while flipping (‘No! Be careful with that!’) carelessly through the pages. “H-How did you get that?”

“Silly Kakashi! This is a fanfiction and I’m the authoress. I can do anything even if it’s impossible realistically.”

Kakashi’s one eye twitched. He felt beads of sweat forming on his face. “C-Could I have that back?”

Blue’s hands stopped. Her dark brown eyes shifted up to him, ponderingly. “Do you want it?”

Kakashi nodded.

“Do you really want it?”

Kakashi nodded quickly.

“Do you really, really...?”

“I NEED IT!”

“Then go get it, boy!” Blue turned around and sent the book flying. Kakashi let out a horrified scream at the sight of his wonderful book being sent through the air. Who was going to catch it?

“Yeah baby!” Boque exclaimed as she jumped into the air and caught the book. “Score!” Boque almost threw the book down when she landed as if she’d just made a touchdown. Instead, she did a little dance. “Whoo! Now that’s how you do it!”

“MY BOOK!”

“Run, Boque-chan!”

Boque froze. “Oh yeah. ZOOM!”

“RAAWR!”

“And the chase was on.

--

Billy sighed as he sat at the Ichiraku Ramen. He hadn’t ordered anything. He hated ramen. He was just sitting there, occupying a spot, and waiting.

…

Just…waiting.

….

Wait…

Boque zoomed by. “The game is on!” Once she dashed past, so did Kakashi and boy, he did not look happy.

Billy sighed and whirled around in his seat in time to catch the dispersing dust particles that had been left over from Boque and Kakashi. ‘Realistically,’ he thought, ‘the twins’ little game wouldn’t be possible.’ He sighed once more.

Having decided not to participate in this game gave Billy the chance to take a break from the stress that the rest of his group brought just by being around. He could do whatever he wanted without them in his hair. Then again, there wasn’t really much he wanted to do in Konoha…

“Ah! You again!” Billy snapped back to reality in time to catch the person who’d said that.

“Same to you,” he replied to Ino.

As she approached, Ino asked, “Where’s you little blond pal?”

“Around,.”

Just as Billy had expected, Boque shot past right on cue, screaming like crazy as Kakashi continued to tail her. Ino nearly jumped out of her skin when she saw her coming. That would have been so wrong…

“W-What is she doing?” Ino gaped.

“Being Boque,” Billy said flatly. “Which also happens to be the very definition of idiocy.”

Billy could practically see the question marks hovering over Ino’s head.

--

Boque screamed her way conspicuously through the streets of Konoha, making people jump with surprise and gape at her. They were even more surprised to see the once mellow Kakashi high tailing after her like a rabid dog—foaming at the masked mouth and everything which is uber ‘ew.’

Blue crept around the corner of the flower shop. She glanced down the road to see Boque rapidly approaching. “Open!” She called.

Boque, still screaming, tossed the orange novel at the authoress. Blue fumbled, but caught it regardless. While Boque kept heading straight with Kakashi behind her, Blue turned around and went behind the flower shop. She crept out the other side and ran down the road, opposite of the way Boque had gone.

“I DON’T HAVE IT ANYMORE!” Boque told Kakashi. He was so blinded by rage at this point that Boque wasn’t willing to risk stopping. “BLUE’S GOT IT!”

“BLUE?!” The Jonin snarled. He made a quick turn and ran around absent mindedly in search of the girl. “BLUE!”

Boque finally halted and looked back whilst panting. That had been more running than she did on a regular day. And lately, she did a LOT of running on a regular day.

“Boque-chan,” the twins appeared at either side of her. “Are you alright?”

“Y-Yeah,” Boque panted. She took in some more air. “Y-you two just-just get into position.”

“Right-o!”

Kakashi was on Blue’s tail now. He would not let her get away. And since Blue wasn’t much of an athlete, that only made his chances of catching her better.

But Blue knew he wasn’t going to catch. She may not have been a fast runner, but she didn’t need to be for where she had led him: the Hyuga house.

“RAWR!” She heard the angry man behind her. That was her cue to head up the steps and into the house with the door conveniently open. That is, until she closed it and stepped to the side.

Why were the doors made of paper? So that people could make surprise entrances! Though…Kakashi Hatake wasn’t very surprising.

He shot through that paper door so fast, the poor thing never stood a chance.

Blue snickered to herself as Kakashi completely ignored her and kept running in a straight line. Apparently when you’re angry beyond what’s healthy and you appear to have rabies and you have one eye covered all the time, your peripheral vision totally sucks.

Blue ran past the destroyed door and headed down the hall. At the sound of her rushing footsteps, Hatake braked, turned on his heal, roared and headed back the way he’d came. Upon reaching the door he’d killed, he made a sharp turn into the hallway that made him slam into a wall. Blue started screaming as she ran when she realized he was behind her.

Blue came to a door, instantly throwing it open and rushing inside. Though one had to wonder why she started laughing when she barged in.

Actually, not much was left to wonder since it was perfectly clear, hence the screaming Hinata, that Blue had ran into her room while the kunoichi was in the middle of changing.

At the mere thought of seeing Hinata Hyuga in her under garments, many fan boys would suffer from extreme loss of blood; shame on you. And shame on Blue for only further humiliating the poor dear by leading the rabid Kakashi into her room and made him chase her over and over around her room whilst laughing her head off.

Finally, after lapping the room fifteen times, the two intruders ran out, and Hinata ceased her hysterics. Well, she had until Mizu Nomi shot from her drawer wearing one of her bras on his head. After that, her face was so red that she covered it with her hands and raced from the room, screaming.

“It’s a hat!” Mizu Nomi screamed after her. Suddenly, he heard something go THUD and the screaming ceased.

Blue was running all over the maze that was the Hyuga house; cutting corners, jumping over tables, running through doorways. Meanwhile, the furious Kakashi slammed into those corners, broke through tables, and created new doorways. This managed to give Blue the upper hand and further distance them.

Blue shot through one final door which happened to be the back way out of the giant house hold. As she turned towards the large wall that surrounded it, Kakashi smashed his way outside and headed after her. The little thought he had left managed to process the scene before him; Blue was headed into a wall that she obviously couldn’t climb; i.e., a dead end. Unfortunately, Kakashi’s mind was too late in ID-ing the two boys that were on top of said wall.

Blue hiked the orange book to the Yaashiins. One of the twins caught it with his right hand and both of them grinned mischievously. The Jonin let out an inhuman roar and charged.

Blue ducked as Kakashi leapt over her and at the twins. The boys moved aside, allowing Kakashi to fly past them, over the wall and onto the other side, accompanied with much clamor.

Blue, trying to catch her breath, looked up at the twins. “Ready, Yaashiins?” She panted out.

“Yes, Blue-sama!”

“Then go!”

“Yes, Blue-sama!”

And so, they went, as instructed, running along the very wall they were standing on. After a few seconds after their take-off, Blue heard Kakashi set off after them from on the other side of the wall. Blue snickered. The Yaashiins had been assigned the longest route of the entire group. Unlike Blue, they were athletes and they never seemed to get tired.

--

Ino blinked. Then, she furrowed her eyebrows. “That makes no sense.”

“Sure it does.” Billy told her. “You’re a girl, so it makes sense you wouldn’t get it.”

Ino glared at him before her face slowly morphed into one of slight disgust. Less than two seconds later, it was gone leaving her face blank. “You know something,” she said, a smile forming, “You kind of remind me of someone.”

Billy rolled his eyes as the two walked side by side through Konoha. “Let me guess…”

“Hey! Billy.”

“Spectacular…” Billy sighed.

Ino froze, mid-step. Suddenly, she squealed girlishly. “Sasuke-kun!”

“Sasuke-kun!” Billy imitated. When she shot a glare his way, he returned it with one of his own.

“What are you up to?” Sasuke wondered aloud as he approached the two (one, if you consider the fact that duck-ass head hadn’t even realized Ino was there yet) while trying to maintain his ‘I’m better than you on so many levels’ demeanor.

“Not much,” Billy replied while beating himself mentally for giving such a stereotypical response. He quickly added, “I’m just walking around with Ino.”

Sasuke’s obsidian gaze shifted. ‘Oh snap! Where’d she come from?’ The Uchiha wondered. “I-I see,” he covered. “I was thinking maybe you could come watch me while I train.”

“I’d love that!” Squealed Ino.

Billy, on the other hand, was not so enthusiastic. “Oh, that sounds like fun. Forgive me for wanting to pass up such a joyful spectacle.”

Sasuke frowned at Billy’s obvious sarcasm. Being that Sasuke wasn’t your average preteen, he was really putting himself out there. “Okay…How about we just go hang out around the village?”

“I was with you less than an hour ago…”

“You were?” Ino felt the tinge of jealousy.

“Well…it looks like you’d appreciate the better company.” The suggestion was obviously a shot at the blue eyed blonde, but she didn’t seem to mind.

Billy sneered. “Sasuke, either get bent or do the bending. Pick one.” While many yaoi fan-girls probably got that, neither Ino nor Sasuke did.

“Fine,” Sasuke began, not one for rejection. His dark eyes skimmed the area. “If you don’t mind me asking, where might the rest of your squad be this afternoon?”

Billy’s eyes widened slightly. His eyes shifted back and forth, only making him look a bit suspicious. “A-Around…” He chocked out.

Sasuke noticed the response and smirked at it. “I’m sure the Hokage-sama would love to hear that they’re just ‘around’.”

“Ugh!” Billy exclaimed, throwing his arms up. “Fine, emo boy! Let’s do what you want to do!”

“Yay!” Ino squealed.

Sasuke smirked again, officially satisfied with himself.

--

“Come on doggie!”

“RAWR!”

The twins continued to effortlessly run along the wall that ran through Konoha while below them, the raging Kakashi followed, bumping and slamming into pedestrians along the way. And constantly teasing him most certainly wasn’t helping matters.

Asuma raised a newly lit cigarette to his mouth as he and Kurenai walked through town. Kurenai lightly fanned the smoke away. “Honestly, those things are going to kill you one of these days.”

Asuma grinned at her. However it was a brief one due to the twins rushing by behind them, shouting, “THAT’S WHAT YOU THINK!” followed by the mad dog of a Jonin, Kakashi, shooting by them.

Asuma looked to Kurenai who merely shrugged.

“Gai-sensei up in this hoe! Watch me crank it, watch me roll! Youth! Crank that Gai-sensei! Youth!” Gai sang along to his ipod (forgive me,. His NINJA ipod) as he walked through the village, snapping his fingers in pure bliss.

The Yaashiins had just jumped down from the wall when they ran out of it and spotted the green Jonin. They looked at each other with wicked glints in their eyes.

“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” Takuya asked his brother.

“I’m always thinking what you’re thinking!” Toya replied.

Both boys took deep, simultaneous breaths and upon reaching Gai’s hearing range, shouted, “HELP! PEDOPHILE! PEDOPHILE!”

Gai paused mid-step and mid-Soulja Boy. He plucked his ear phones from his ears and looked back over his shoulder. The twins were coming up fast with a disoriented Kakashi behind them.

“HELP! PEDOPHILE! PEDOPHILE!” Gai watched the boys run past him.

And when Kakashi ran past him… “GET YOUR LITTLE ASSES BACK HERE!”

“Whoa there Kakashi!” Gai reached for him and grabbed him by the back of his Jonin vest. He pulled Kakashi back to him and held him in place by pushing down since Kakashi kept trying to run. “What are you trying to do to those poor youths?!”

“KILL THEM!”

Gai shook his head at the silver haired Jonin with much disappointment. “Kakashi, now I enjoy youth just as much as the next person, but some things are just crossing the line…And are illegal!”

Kakashi froze. “Excuse me?!”

“What’s going on over here?” Wondered Mitasrashi Anko as she wandered over quit nosily.

“Ah, Anko. You came at a good time!” Gai told her.

“Good how?! You’re wasting my time!” Kakashi growled.

“Consider it time well wasted!” Gai told him. That was when Kakashi’s hearing went. You ever gotten so mad that you became unable to hear anything around you?

…Well, that was the issue now.

As Gai went about explaining what he thought was the situation with Kakashi to Anko, and Anko’s face morphed into various variations of disgust, Kakashi was glaring past them at both the Yaashiins, waving at him and taunting him from afar. Then they shot in separate directions, scaling the shops across from each other.

“RAWR!” Kakashi broke free of Gai’s grip on him and bulldozed past him and Anko.

Kakashi followed the straight road as the twins ran along the shops. Sure, he could’ve easily jumped onto the rooftops after them. But since they split up, he had absolutely no clue which one had his book.

As Kakashi ran, he pondered, as much as his anger would allow him to ponder, how he could figure out which twin had the book and how he could catch him.

While he contemplated, he had realized the twins had stopped directly across from each other on their respective shops. He stopped and looked back at them. He found something to be completely odd with this picture.

The picture consisted of both boys doing completely separate dances from each other. Why they were dancing, Kakashi didn’t know.

Kakashi looked over at the first twin. And the twin danced and sang:

“Like the latest fashion!

Like a spreading disease,

The kids are strappin’ on their way to the classroom

Getting weapons with the greatest of ease!”

Kakashi then turned his attention to the opposing twin. And the twin danced and sang:

“The winds of fortune,

Don’t blow the same

She had to get out

And make a change!”

Kakashi let confusion swarm over him. He looked interchangeably between them until their separate songs began to sound like one:

“Hey, they don’t pay no mind!”

“With all the girls I know!”

“If you’re under 18 you won’t be doing any time!”

“I know you wanna hit that!”

“Hey! Come out and play!”

“I know you wanna hit that!”

That was when they both pointed at each other. “GO!”

Kakashi jumped. Somehow, the Offspring served the twins as some sort of summoning jutsu. For what had happened to Sasuke the day before was now happening to him…only WORSE!

Yes! Fan-girls and fan-boys flooded out of the very shops the boys stood on. But they weren’t ordinary fans. They were COSPLAYERS! Kakashi’s eyes widened in dread at the FemKakashi cosplayers, the ANBU Kakashis, the normal Kakashis and the normal Kakashis with boobies, and the Kakashis carrying Iruka plushies!

No! It was any anime character’s worst nightmare to look at all these horrible renditions of himself. Sure, some were really good, but not when they were making out with the few Irukas there too. It was worse than a nightmare. It was REALITY!

“SQUEE! IT’S KAKASHI-SAMA!”

Kakashi backed away from this hungry crowd. “S-Sama?”

“WHEE! KISS ME KAKASHI!” The fan-girls squealed.

“TEACH US YOUR WAYS!” Exclaimed the fan-boys.

“And together, we’ll all dance to Caramelldansen!”

“NO!” Kakashi shot off in the direction he had come from, with of course his adoring cosplay fans behind him.

The twins laughed. “Fan-girls can actually be quite useful!” Takuya laughed as he and his brother climbed down from the buildings.

“Takuya, you gotta wonder though,” Toya said as they walked up the road together, “if fanfiction readers ever get tired of the fangirl jokes.”

Takuya chuckled. “You kiddin’? It’s their own fault they exist. Let’s hurry up so we can give the book to Boque-chan!”

“Yeah!” Toya agreed. The brothers then hurried off while singing “Pretty Fly for a White Guy.”

--

Billy sighed. “So you hate him?”

“Not necessarily,” Sasuke told him.

“Dude, then just get over it!” Billy told him. “I personally think you’re always competing over nothing. You too, Ino!”

Ino jumped. “Hey how, don’t bring me into this.”

Billy sat up in the grass and looked down at the other two. “Come on now! You can’t seriously be telling me you want to fight with your best friend for eternity over a guy you’ll never end up with anyway?”

“No, I’m not telling you that!” Ino flushed in embarrassment and looked away from him. “But hearing it from somebody else makes it sound pretty stupid.”

“Ya think?” Sasuke commented.

The shadows of three figures loomed over them, blocking out the sun. The three in the grass all looked up to see who was looking down at them. It was Shikamaru, Chouji, and Kiba. And Shikamaru look exhausted.

“What’re you three doing?” Kiba asked.

“What does it look like?” Sasuke and Billy snapped.

“Say, did you guys happen to notice all the weird stuff that’s been going on in the village lately?” Chouji wondered.

“It’s been kind of hard not to notice,” Ino said. Akamaru yipped in agreement, making himself known from within Kiba’s jacket.

“I personally think it has something to do with you guys.” Kiba pointed at Billy. The others all looked at him as well.

Billy felt very uncomfortable under their gazes. “Hey, I haven’t done a thing!” He defended himself. “It’s those other four crazies!”

“You mean your friends?” Ino asked him.

Billy looked defeated. “Uh, do I really have to call them my friends?”

Shikamaru scratched his head. “Speaking of, we heard a lot of commotion in the village earlier. Is that their doing too?”

Billy sighed. There was no point in lying to them. “Yeah. Most likely…”

--

“Okay Boque-chan,” Toya handed her Kakashi’s orange book. “Blue’s plan should have given you a good head start. So get ready.”

Boque stretched. “Yeah baby! I’m pumped for this!”

Takuya snickered. “That’s what we wanna hear!”

Not too soon after he said that did the ground beneath them begin to rumble. The three members of the Cliché Crew looked ahead of them.

Like some kind of stampede, the cosplayers were charging after Kakashi as he charged the kids’ way. “GIVE ME BACK MY BOOK!”

The twins turned to Boque. “Okay, Boque-chan! This is your big chance to be the hero for once!” Takuya said.

“FINALLY!” Boque roared.

“Go, Boque-chan! Run like your life depended on it!” Cheered Toya.

“Which it does…” was Takuya’s reply under his breath.

“YES!” With that, Boque was off.

The twins cleared the way as Kakashi shot past them after Boque. Less than a second after him were the cosplayers.

“It’s the final stretch,” Takuya told his brother.

“Do your best, Boque-chan!” Toya cheered the blonde on from the distance.

Little did they know that Boque’s best was just about up. You see, while Billy was a slow runner that could keep running for a long time, Boque was a very fast one that hardly lasted a minute and a half at top speed. She didn’t have long before she was going to have to push herself ten times as hard in order to reach the Cliché Crew’s intended finish for this particular game of keep-away. If that wasn’t pressure enough, there was always the rabies-ridden Kakashi leading a wild pack of cosplayers behind her to add that extra pressure.

Ten-Ten looked up from helping Lee with a set of sit-ups. “What’s that noise?” She asked her teammate.

Lee paused to listen. “Youth?”

“…Yes, Lee. It’s youth.”

Lee threw a hand up in triumph. “I KNEW IT!”

Ten-Ten responded to that with and epic face-palm.

Right as Neji had arrived on the scene, the three froze as Boque shot by them. Then Kakashi. Then thousands of cosplayers.

Once the dust had settled, the three looked back to see them all heading off into the distance. “What on earth was that?” Neji asked the others.

Ten-Ten blinked. “I have no id—Are you wearing a dress?”

Lee’s eyes went to Ten-Ten’s very pink observation.

Neji’s face brightened. “I think it really suits my eyes! What do you guys think?”

Ten-Ten’s jaw dropped.

Lee instantly threw his hands over his mouth and his face turned blue. “I’m gonna puke!”

Neji frowned. With his nose in the air, a “You’re just jealous!”, and a wicked hair flip, he sauntered off. Work it, gurl!

Anyway, Neji’s cross-dressing phase aside, Boque was just about reaching her limit. She had re-entered the village, and as she passed them, villagers were jumping out of the way and hiding indoors, out of the way of the cosplayer stampede.

Boque began to push herself. She didn’t have much further to go. She was almost there.

Kakashi reached for her. “BOOK!”

The cosplayers reached for him. “KAKASHI!”

She held up the book. “SCHOOKIE!”

Billy, Team 10, Kiba and Akamaru, and Sasuke looked up as they walked in time to see the upcoming crowd. Boque threw the book at them. Billy fumbled but caught it. The instant he and others looked back up at Boque, she was already shooting past them. And by the time Billy looked around at the others, they had already run for cover. And by the time Billy had looked up at the stampede, he saw a big, blue, orb of static.

“CHIDORI!”

--

“What a fun filled day!” Blue sang while she kicked her feet back and forth against the sofa inside their temporary abode.

Toya snickered. “Not for Billy-san.”

“Hm…I honestly wasn’t expecting him to be dog-piled by thousands of cosplayers AND Chidori’d.” Takuya commented.

“That really should have killed him!” Toya laughed, obviously way too amused by the situation.

Blue patted her stomach. “Let’s let him rest in bed then. How about we got out to eat?”

“What did you have in mind, Blue?” Boque asked.

Blue pondered their options. “Ah! How about the Ichiraku Ramen? Billy doesn’t like ramen anyway. So it’s not like he’ll be missing out on anything.”

Takuya appeared to be skeptical. “That’s still a little inconsiderate to me.” He stretched his arms. “I think I’ll stay here and keep Billy-san company.”

“Don’t know how you’d do that!” Boque snarled. “Guy’s covered in so many bandages, I doubt he can see you, let alone hear you.”

Blue took to her feet and waved Boque’s last comment off. “Let the boy do what he wants. I’m hungry.”

Toya watched Blue head for the door. Boque then got up and followed her. Toya looked at his brother. “You sure you want to stay here?”

Takuya nodded. “There’s nothing wrong with it. Just go with those two and keep them from getting into another one of their violent arguments.”

“Good idea.” Toya sprung from his seat and hurried to the other two. Blue opened the door before looking back at Takuya. “We’ll be back in a bit.” With that, the trio left.

--

Everyone knew about Ichiraku Ramen. How could they not? After all, that was where everyone’s favorite orange ninja spent a lot of his meal time, not to mention money. As a matter of fact, he was already stuffing his face when the Cliché Crew arrived.

Boque folded her arms. “This isn’t the least bit surprising…” She muttered.

“He’s always here!” Toya hissed.

“Does his diet consist of anything else?”

Blue cleared her throat. “Sorry to interrupt, but he’s looking right at both of you.”

Boque and Toya’s eyes shifted up to the ninja and met his big, blue, curious eyes. They both laughed nervously.

“You’re those people from yesterday,” he blinked.

Boque nodded. “That’s definitely us, alright!” Boque climbed into the stool beside him at the counter. “You must really like ramen, huh?”

While Blue and Toya took their seats at the counter, Naruto slapped a big grin on his face. “Believe it!”

POW!

Blue and Toya gasped at the sight of Naruto hitting the ground and a red-eyed Boque holding her hand in the ‘You-just-got-bitch-slapped’ position.

Let’s see the replay of that epic slap!

Boque raises her hand and slings her open palm brutally across the blonde ninja’s face creating the force leading to him falling from his seat.

Replay!

POW! Epic-slap!

Replay!

POW! Epic-slap!

Replay!

“BLUE-SAMA!”

“Whoops! Sorry, I got a little carried away with that.” Blue slid out of her stool and knelt down to Naruto’s side. She took his arm and helped him to stand which he could barely do on his own since everything was spinning for him.

“Whoa…What happened?” The boy stuttered.

“Uh….” Blue hesitated. “Earthquake! Yeah, it was an earthquake!”

Naruto blinked at her. “Earthquake?”

Blue nodded rapidly. “That’s right! And it’s all because you said the dreaded-line-that-must-never-be-spoken.”

“What? You mean be--!” Before those two words could be uttered, Toya covered his mouth with his hand.

Blue raised a finger to her lips. “Shh! Never say that again, unless you want to destroy Konoha!”

Naruto gasped. Toya pulled his hand away, allowing him to speak. “No! Anything but that!”

“Good! Instead, keep saying dattebayo.” Blue encouraged.

“I will, dattebayo!”

Blue and Naruto climbed back into their respective stools. Naruto’s bowl had already been refilled, and Boque and Toya had already ordered for Blue.

Toya was watching Naruto eat. He really had something on his mind that needed to be known. “I-Is ramen all you eat?”

“Course not!” Naruto told him. “I eat lots of good stuff!”

“How about vegetables?”

“Veg-e-ta-bles?”

The Cliché Crew froze.

“Y-You’re kidding, right?” Boque sputtered.

Naruto shrugged. “I’ve never heard of these ‘vegetables’.”

“They’re plants that are good for you,” Boque took the liberty of explaining.

Naruto stuck his tongue out in disgust. “EW! You want me to eat plants?”

Blue shook her head. “What about fruit?”

“Fruit?”

Naruto cringed when the Cliché Crew screamed from either side of him, “WHAT THE HELL?!”

Boque and Toya jumped from their stools and gripped either of Naruto’s arms. Miraculously, Blue stood before him with a big green chalk board behind her with an apple and a cucumber doodled on it. “Sit still young man!” Blue adjusted her glasses menacingly. “You’re about to get schooled.

Naruto took a big, nervous, gulp.

Blue thrust an apple before him. “This, boy, is what we call an apple. It’s hard, juicy, and comes in an array of colors like red, yellow, and green. Say it with me now: Ap-ple!”

“A-Ap-ple.”

“Yay!” Boque and Toya cheered. Naruto smiled modestly. That’s right, they had to revert back to the days of Sesame Street and Barney.

Blue pulled the apple away and put up a banana. “And this is…”

“An apple!”

“NO!” Blue threw the apple forcefully, nailing Naruto right between the eyes.

“OW!” He shouted. “But you said apples are yellow too, dattebayo!”

“If you hadn’t have interrupted me, you’d have found out that this was a banana! Apples are not curved!”

“Okay! Okay! I get it now, dattebayo.”

Blue took a deep breath. She put away the banana and pulled out a cucumber. “Now this is a…”

“An apple!”

“NO!” Blue started slapping him over and over across the face with the banana from before. “JUST BECAUSE IT’S GREEN DOESN’T MAKE IT AN APPLE! IT’S CURVED!”

Once Blue’s rapid sequence of banana slaps ceased, Naruto said, “Okay, okay!...So it’s a banana?”

“NO!” Initiate rapid cucumber slap sequence.

Boque sighed. “This lesson looks like it may take a while.”

“Seems that way, Boque-chan.”

--

Blue: Whether or not Naruto actually knows what vegetables and fruits are is not the point. The point is that I myself have never seen the boy eating them. Thus, is the point of the joke. Also, forgive me if I sometimes saying names the American way and saying others the Japanese way. It’s just to me, some characters’ names sound better family name first and given name second while others sound better given name first and family name second. And as far as the Japanese name of Kakashi’s book goes…I can never remember it! I can’t ever remember the Japanese names for anything regardless of the show. I can only remember Kagemane no Jutsu. What do you expect? So, was this chapter up to par after my extended hiatus? I hope so. Please tell me because I’m lacking confidence in it right now. Joke explanations! Okay, first there’s the height thing. I’m actually 5’6” and Kakashi’s height converted is 5’9”. So, realistically, I wouldn’t have to struggle so hard to get the book from him, right? Well, the drawing style I use for Cliché requires that the characters look shorter than they actually are. So in Cliché style, I’d be around 5’4”. The Hinata in her underwear thing? Wow, I just wanted to be mean. Forgive me! And Mizu Nomi told me to add in his line himself, so that one is his fault. There is one Shippudden reference and that was the Asuma scene. The Gai-sensei Soulja Boy remix came when my brother and I thought it’d suit him perfectly. JUST LISTEN TO IT! My brother and I had actually written a full remix for him to that song, but I felt it was a little too inappropriate for this fanfiction, so I just made him sing an edited version. XD Neji’s still in that dress, too!

Takuya: Next time in Cliché Goes Naruto!

Toya: We’re taking a three-day venture to Sunagakure!

Takuya: And we get to play with the Sand siblings all day!

Both: Yay!

Blue: P.S., my darling readers, please visit my profile and take the Cliché Crew poll! Which of us is your favorite character? Please vote if you have not already. P.S.S., I have something special planned for the Epilogue of Cliché Goes Naruto.

Toya: It’s not really all that special.

Takuya: Nope. Everyone does this anyway.

Blue: It’s the special Cliché Crew Question, Answer, and Request Hour. I’m opening the request and questions line right now and it’ll close once I post chapter ten. So if you have any questions for any member of the Cliché Crew, or you have a request you want them to fulfill, please say so in a review between now and the end of chapter 9. You can put in as many questions of requests as you like.

Takuya: This is simply to spice up our Epilogue.

Toya: And it’s also to thank you for reading.

Blue: But if no one puts in a request or a question, then you’ll just get a boring epilogue and we will give you the lamest thank you ever! ‘Til next time, do what you do!