Summery: During Lily's pregnancy [with Harry of course Sirius comes to the Potter Manor for a visit. Lily wants hers and James' place looking nice, well, James has other ideas about what his Marauder buddy would really want. Drabble, One shot.

Author's Note: Funny, short drabble. Well, I think it's funny. The idea just popped into my head, I have no idea if someone else has done it, so.. Shoosh and sorry if you have but oh well. Enjoi! -Throws confetti-

Disclaimer: I don't own it. Duh.

Scary Lily & The Fry Pan Incident

"Lilly! For god's sakes, woman, put DOWN THE BROOM!" Shrieked James Potter, resting his forehead in his hands.

"Oh shush, James! I want this house to be clean!" Lily Potter shouted back, glaring at her husband before returning to sweeping the floor.

"Butttt Lily," James whined, "it's only Sirius!"

Lily crossed her arms over her chest, turning on her heel and facing her husband, "James Potter you look at me. We're the only family Sirius has! He won't bloody well want to come to a dirty house now will he?"

James blinked a few times, leaning back in his chair, rather shocked, "Lil'.. It's just well.. You know.. I don't think he'll really care.."

Lily turned abruptly, raising her broom ever so slightly so it was positioned over James's head, "I. Don't. Really. Care."

James blinked rapidly, cringing away from Lily. Suddenly he shrieked, "I..I don't know what to do when you're yelling at me!"

Lily simply shook her head, returning to sweeping out the living room, "James, get your skinny little butt upstairs and clean out the bathroom. Now!"

James huffed lightly, hanging his head and making his way upstairs. With a sigh he leant over the bathtub, scrubbing reluctantly. Muttering, he shook his head, "Stupid woman, telling me what to do. I thought I was supposed to be the man of the house?"

Little did poor James know, Lily was standing just behind him, a half-scrubbed frying pan held in her shattering grip. With one might heave she swung the fry pan around, thwacking James over the back of the head. A small 'ping' was heard in the vincinty of James' brain as the sudden pain finally registered. Howling, he spun around on his knees, facing his wife, "What the hell?"

Lily smirked, "Serves you right for talking about me like that." She raised the fry pan once again, "Anything else?"

James shook his head, "No, dear."

Meanwhile downstairs, a slightly disheveled Sirius rapped his knuckles on the large wooden door of the Potter's house, muttering under his breath, ".. Shoulda known it was all too easy.. Easy. Ha! Stupid, come on Sirius, you're better then that man!"

James swung open the door, arching an eyebrow at his best friend apparently talking to himself, "Er.. Sirius?"

Sirius looked up, grinning broadly before realized James had most likely heard him giving himself a pep talk, "Er.. James. Didn't you see that cat? Yeah, I was talking to it.. And er.. Yeah."

James snickering before enveloping Sirius in a meaningful, yet still manly hug, "Good to see ya Padfoot."

Sirius ginned, "You too, Prongs. Moony sends his best wishes.. Well, I'm sure he would have if he could have.. If you catch my drift."

James laughed softly, "Yeah, I follow. Hey, come on in." James turned, walking happily back into his house, Sirius following obediently.

Just as Sirius was about to take a seat on the immaculately clean couch, James cried, "NO! She just cleaned that, and she will kill you!"

Sirius blinked, "But.. It's looks so comfy and.. Clean."

James shook his head frantically, pushing Sirius instead onto a rather uncomfortable wooden stool, "No, seriously. See this?" He pointed to a rising bump on his head from the fry pan thwacking, "She's SCARY. man!" A wild, terrified look had shadowed James' eyes and he kept looking over his shoulder to make sure Lily wasn't there.

Sirius leant back on his stool, snickering softly, "Seriously duuude. Grow a backbone."

James shook his head frantically, "NO! She's worse then the normal Lily you know.. She's.. Pregnant Lily!" His eyes widened as he uttered this, a fiercely determined look wallowing in their depths.

Laughing softly Sirius shook his head, not really believing his friend, "All right, calm down. I get it, she's scary, AH..!"

"Dinner! Now!" Lily suddenly called from the kitchen, her tone astonishingly polite compared to the one she had used on James earlier.

Grabbing his friend's arm, James whispered sincerely, "Honestly Padfoot, be afraid. Be very afraid."

Dinner was a pleasant affair and honestly Sirius had no idea about Lily's change of attitude. Every time Lily would ask James to pass her something, whether is be a piece of lamb, or a mere potato, James would immediately drop his fork, knife or whatever he was holding and quickly pass whatever was asked for over to Lily with a meek, "Here you go, dear."

Sirius couldn't help but laugh on this occasions, as Lily really was quite the same to him. After the rather delicious, if Lily did say so her self, meal was consuming, she ushered James and Sirius into the living room, declaring that yes, it was just fine that they didn't help her clean up. James, forgetting the immaculately clean couch, dragged Sirius over to it, his eyes wild once again, "SEE? Did you see how scary she was?"

Raising his eyebrows, Sirius turned to James, "Er.. Honestly? No.. She seemed, really.. Well.. Normal, to me."

James clutched at Sirius's arm, his terrified eyes even wider then before, "But didn't you see? What about when she took that knife from me? IT COULD HAVE CUT ME!"

Sirius glanced over at the dining area, smiling warmly at Lily before turning back to James, "James, you're not seriously talking about the blunt butter knife are you?"

James nodded anxiously, "YUH-HUH!"

Shaking his head Sirius calming explained how butter knives couldn't cause any harm, and could James please quiet down, no need to be so loud.

Shaking his head, James leant back on the couch, wild thoughts of Lily murdering him, or turning his ears green running wildly through his mind.

Lily silently walked into the living room, a beautiful sponge cake following her, suspended in mid air. Her eyes widened at what she saw. James and Sirius on her couch. Her clean couch. Turning on her heel, Lily returned to the kitchen. Snoozing beside his buddy, James slept peacefully for the first time in weeks. Little did he know, Lily had returned to the living room. Sirius snorted in his sleep, clawing wildly at the air before returning to his silent slumber. Suddenly, Sirius and James' eyes flew open, distinct 'Pings' sounding in their minds. Tilting their heads back, the two men came face to face with a very angry, very pregnant Lily, a fry pan held in her iron grip, "You damn men are sitting on my CLEAN COUCH!" With a wild swing, Lily thwackedoth James and Sirius over the back of the heads, grinning wildly as they both fell unconscious, identical bumps rising on their foreheads, "Serves them right." Lily muttered, waddling back into her kitchen, her newly favorite utensil clasped in her feared grip, "And there's only three months left of my pregnancy." Lily muttered as she reentered the kitchen. Picking up a wooden spoon, she glanced back into the living room at the unconscious men who adorned the couch, "Hrm, not hard enough." She picked up a large butcher knife, grinning wickedly, "Oh yeah.."