|Caught Between The Twisted Stars
Author: Beer Good PM
So what really happened between Romeo and Juliet in that bedroom? How did awkward teenagers do before the invention of the electric light? And does 'where' and 'wherefore' really mean the same thing?Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Words: 308 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 1 - Published: 08-28-07 - Status: Complete - id: 3752250
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
SCENE: Juliet's (rather dark) bedroom.
Romeo, oh Romeo... um... where art thou, Romeo?
Methinks I'm nearing thee, but it is hard to tell;
With curtains drawn, and no light from the moon or stars
'Tis dark within these chamber walls, and - OW!
Pr'thee, take care, my love, lest in this wretched dusk
Thou stumblest and dost bark thy shin upon my bed!
I thank thee, though too late, alas; by Eos, I ask
That thou turnest a lamp on, that I might gaze
Upon thy beauty and not bump my head against thy -
Oh, Romeo, thy brow is noble, yet so hard. I fear,
I am by headache stricken.
Say 'tain't so!
For I've begun disrobing and I've... I'll just... (stumbles) OW!
A plague on these my trousers! I have fallen.
As have I for thee -
- and I can't get up.
I pray thee, give me light that I might extricate
Myself from this entanglement of garments!
Hush, my lord, my love, make not such noise!
But soft! What light beyond the door approaches?
It is my father! I fear we shall be busted.
Quick, hide thyself within my closet!
Though it be dark and I am battered, this I'll manage.
Ah, thy closet door is soft and yielding, just like -
Yielding? Nay, it's made of oak, and - Romeo!
That is not the closet, but the -
AAAAAH! (distant thud) Ow.
- curtains to my window. How dost thou?
That was a mighty fall; I fear I am hurt.
Ask for me to-morrow; now I need an apothecary.
Goodnight, sweet prince!
Thou quotest from the wrong - oh, never mind. G'night.