Disclaimer: I do not own Battlestar Galactica or any of the characters from the series.

Prologue

“Just kill me.” Even though her voice was muffled by the floor and tinged with enough pain to slightly garble it, her words came out completely clear. “Please, just get it over with.” Sharon “Boomer” Valerii didn’t immediately try to get up. First of all she wasn't sure Saul would allow her to. He was, after all, the one who'd thrown her, face first, to the floor. She wasn’t sure she had the strength to anyway. Or maybe strength wasn’t the word. Maybe it was the will. She didn’t have the desire to get up. Sharon wanted just what she’d asked for. She wanted to be killed.

Of course maybe kill wasn’t the right word, just as strength hadn’t been as apt as she’d like. Destroyed was more like it. ‘I’m not alive to kill... I’m a god damn machine! I shot the old man!’ She wanted to break down crying right there, to cry even if Colonel Tigh and the marines guarding her in this hellhole were watching her. She didn’t have any rights, she wasn’t even human.

‘But I am human. I’m not a Cylon! I’m not! I would never hurt the old man. I’m not a machine.’ Sharon desperately yelled at herself in her own mind. Yet her own denials had long since passed the point when she could believe them. She couldn’t fool herself any more than she could fool anyone else around her. They all knew now just as she did. She was a Cylon, a toaster, a member of the genocidal race of machines that had pushed humanity to the verge of extinction and cost her and her crew, her family she should say, everything they had but each other. They’d even cost her Helo, her navigator, who’d chosen to stay on Caprica and give up his seat on board ‘their’ raptor for Gaius Baltar to make it back to the Galactica.

Gods, it was impossible to describe her hatred of the Cylons for everything they’d done, but it was just as impossible to deny that she was one of them. Her instincts toward the fighter in their docking bay, her black out periods, how she got a G-4 detonator, leaving the C-causeway hatch open, everything. And now shooting Commander Adama. There was no forgiving that; no forgiving anything she’d done. There was no forgiving her just for being a Cylon and she knew it. If Sharon were in Tigh’s position she’d have killed the ‘Cylon traitor’ by now. Of course he probably already intended to do that. It was just a matter of time.

She could cooperate just a little bit longer, until they at least granted her that kind of release. Sharon began to push herself back up, but a swift kick from Colonel Tigh caused her to fall back to the ground and curl up. Something in her chest, probably some of her ribs, had snapped. The pain was incredible. Not the worst she’d felt in her short lifetime, but pretty damn bad. Although it didn’t even begin to compare to the pain she felt inside, a pain that didn’t go away with time. Hopefully she wouldn't have to deal with it much longer.

"Frakking Machine." She heard Tigh growl at her in abject disgust as he paced around her. He was circling her almost like a shark. "I should kill you right here and now."

"Do it then," Sharon replied, a bit of an defiant edge to her voice initially. However it gradually weakened as she continued. "Please, just do it."

Saul stopped and for a moment she was sure he was going to strike her again, but he did not. "How many Cylons are there in the fleet?"

"I don't know." It was a quick and honest answer. She didn't have a clue. How could she? She hadn't even known she was a Cylon until recently.

"How many Cylons are in the fleet?" Saul repeated, this time more forcefully.

"I don't know!" Sharon said, frustration, fear, shame, and the futility of all of this making her raise the volume of her voice.

Saul moved very quickly, kicking her again. On reflex she wiggled away from the attacking man. This was a mistake. The nearest guard was on her and hauling her to her knees before she could so much as push him off. "You expect me to believe anything you say you frakking toaster."

Under better circumstances Sharon might have replied with something scathing like, "then what's the point of asking?". But she remained silent. Of course those word's would have been more of a Starbuck thing to say. Not that she herself couldn't be snarky at times.

Sharon winced. Not becuase of what Colonel Tigh said, but because of that single name. Starbuck. Kara Thrace. 'Gods, what would she say if she knew I was Cylon?' Sharon had a pretty damn good idea exactly what she'd say, feel, and do. She'd hate her. All of them, every single man and woman in the fleet, hated the Cylon with a blind, burning passion. It was almost impossible to describe the depth of that emotion...almost... and Starbuck was no different in that regard. The Cylons were the enemy. They'd killed many of her closest friends, pilots she'd fought beside or trained, and billions of people she didn't even know. Her loathing for the Cylon was as complete as Sharon's own.

Yes, Sharon was extremely grateful for the small kindness the gods had bestowed upon her. Starbuck was not here to see what she truly was or what she'd done to Adama. Boomer was more aware than most of just how close the Commander and Starbuck were, although virtually everyone knew they were on good terms. Adama and Kara were... family. There was no other way to describe it. And Sharon had just put two rounds in Starbuck's family, really the only bit of it she had left. She herself couldn't qualify anymore.

Of course their relationship wasn't familial in any sense of the word. It was however, the deepest bond she had. Before the C-causeway incident she would have said Chief Tyrol, as her 'secret' lover, was her closest companion. But that had changed after one of his deckhands was incarcerated. He'd chosen his work and his crew over her. It had felt like such a betrayal, even though she could see where he was coming from, but now she could only feel...empty about the whole thing. She loved him, that much she knew... had known before now. Of course Cylons weren't capable of love, so she should stop confusing whatever she felt with it.

But she was so sure, so absolutely sure she was in love with Starbuck when they'd... gods, it hurt thinking about it now, after what she'd done. If it hurt this bad, being unable to feel love, then she truly wasn't capable of feeling anything beyond this. After Chief Tyrol had ended their liasons Sharon had been left alone to try and cope with her strange thoughts, blackout periods, eerie feelings, and a weighed down conscience. For the most part she managed to hide her plight well from the others, but every now and again she had a small breakdown; a short stint of time when she released everything pent up inside and simply couldn't control the tears or the loneliness.

It was happenstance that Starbuck found her during one of these times, one of the few times when she couldn't cover up how she felt or hide the tears. In all the time she'd known Starbuck compassionate was never a word she'd use to describe her. Rude, blunt, sarcastic, extroverted, strong, and often irreverent towards her superiors were all aspects of Kara Thrace. She drank, made crude jokes, flew better than most anyone Sharon knew, was a crack shot, slept around, and punched superior officers. She was fun to be around and was one of Sharon's casual friends, but... not someone that engendered considerable trust. She seemed more like a 'suck it up and be tough' woman than 'here let me hold your hand'.

But she'd been there. She hadn't made a snide comment or told her to stop crying. She'd sat there, listened to her even though she was babbling almost incoherently through the tears... and even held her while she cried, something very uncharacteristic of the Kara Thrace Sharon had known. Then after she'd mostly spent herself she cheered her up, got her to laugh, relax, and have a drink. They'd joked about guys, flying, and some of the shit they'd both gotten into.

Things had gone from there. They stayed mostly normal between them in the crew quarters, when playing poker, during meetings, on missions, and during drills. But Sometimes they just hung out together, outside of normal crew recreational activities. They simply started to seek out eachother's company more. Starbuck was usually just Starbuck and vice versa. But it wasn't long before she began to convey more of her troubles to the blond, who hadn't rebuked her, hadn't reported her, and through simple humor and sometimes outright sympathy had put her to ease; even when she told her about the G-4 explosives, the C-causeway, and her still continuing blackout periods. And when she confided that she was terrified she might be a Cylon, Starbuck laughed it away, helping to dispel some of her suspicions.

Now Sharon wasn't quite sure when it became more than just a friendship. She'd always considered herself utterly straight. Homosexuality had never appealed to her and considering Starbuck's exploit's with men she'd thought the same of her. Starbuck was beautiful, that she wouldn't refute, but she couldn't quite pinpoint when it became attraction. She found no other women truly attractive, so maybe it was just with Starbuck where she dabbled into bi-sexuality. It did however begin to enter into the realm of physical romance and when Sharon questioned Starbuck about it after their first rather explicit liason the blond hadn't seemed very comfortable with the subject. So of course she'd reverted to crude humor. In the end the only reasonable answer she got was along the lines of, "You're an exception." Whatever the reason Sharon was truly grateful to her...while at the same time she now wished she'd never made a connection with her. If she'd been left on her own she probably would have ended up putting a bullet in her brain and everything would have been alright.

'Gods, if you will hear the prayer of... of a Cylon, please let me die before she returns with the Arrow of Apollo, and let it lead them to Earth as she hopes it will.' Sharon mentally prayed as she steeled herself to stare Tigh right in the eye. Yes, she knew where Starbuck was going. As far as she knew she was the only one who knew of her her plan before she implimented it. Kara had trusted her alone with how betrayed she'd felt by the Commander and what she was going to do. 'I'm scum. I'm frakking worse than scum. I'm a Cylon. She trusted me and I'm...I've..."

"Was Chief Tyrol a co-conspirator?"

Sharon's eyes widened. This was about her. She was the Cylon. No, no more people would get hurt becuase of what she was. "No. Everything I did, I did alone."

"Like I believe that. You were frakking him, weren't you? What about Lieutenant Thrace? Doing her too? Did she..."

"No! Kara had nothing to do with this. She didn't know anything about me and neither did the Chief. I did it alone. Just me! If your looking for someone to shoot, there's a Cylon right here!"

The Colonel moved fast, striking her right accross the face. The guard let her drop to the ground and as everything began to swim she heard Saul's voice, "Give me your gun." Then she felt somene grab her hair, yank her up, and a gun muzzel press up against her skin. "I should blow your brains out right here."

Sharon closed her eyes. She was ready. This way she could do no more harm. "Do it you frakking coward." She couldn't... wouldn't damn the Chief and would never again hurt Starbuck. But nothing came. No end came. She still breathed, she still thought, she still felt.

Then she was released and Tigh stalked towards the exit. "But I'm not gonna kill you. I'll let the old man decide what's to be done with you." Then he was gone, leaving her alone with her guards, handcuffed, bleeding, and sobbing onto the floor. Why couldn't things have been easy? Why couldn't they just kill her?

Helo's voice was probably all that stopped Starbuck from driving her fist right into the jaw of whoever was trying to lift her up off of the ground. Of course it wasn't so much the ground she was lying on as the body of a blond cylon woman. They'd been fighting mere moments ago, although fighting might not be the best way to describe the fairly one-sided conflict. It was more like Starbuck doing her level best to stop the cylon from beating her to death with her bare hands. Now Starbuck was an extremely strong woman, not to mention a prideful one who would never admit to being more than 'on the ropes' in any fight, but this cylon had come close to achieving its goal before she tackled it off of the edge of the museum's ruined second store. Now it lay dead below her, the thing's body run through by a piece of debris that thankfully hadn't touched Kara. The fall however had hurt like hell.

"Helo?" Starbuck managed to say through gritted teeth. Her whole body hurt like hell. Part of her didn't want to move, but she never listened to that part of herself as anyone who served with her knew. Kara didn't need an answer though. The sight of of her long time friend's face was enough,. "Frak, you're the last person I expected to see here." She actually started laughing as he leaned her up against one of the stone pillars.

"Likewise," Helo's face was plastered with a similar 'survivor's smile'. "You okay?"
"Hell yeah. That's nothing." Of course the throbbing pain emanating from every part of her body was a very unpleasant reminder of how 'fine' she was.

Helo actually laughed and patted her shoulder. "How'd you get here? Who else is alive?"

"Got myself a nice ride, you know, the works. Sharon for one's still alive. Gods, she's going to be glad to see you." Starbuck had never seen a smile disappear so fast, to be replaced on Helo's face by a very unsettling expression. "What? What is it?" Starbuck herself was still slightly giddy from adrenaline.

It was then she noticed that there was someone standing about a dozen feet behind Helo. As she came into focus Starbuck's train of thought literally crashed and burned as it registered the features of Sharon down to a T. But it wasn't Sharon. Physically she matched Boomer in every way, but she was dirt smudged, like she hadn't bathed in an ungodly amount of time. Then there was the fact she was injured. The bandage was bloodstained and her arm was in a sling. The Sharon she'd left on Galactica hadn't been hurt, much less in this condition. About the only real 'harm' that she could remember recently befalling Sharon was when she'd hit her. Sharon had had another of her 'scares' and had mentioned suicide as a possible solution. Well, Starbuck had let her know how she felt about Sharon even contemplating that. She wasn't letting it happen.

The first thought that popped into her mind was that Sharon, knowing what she was going to do, had found some way to follow her with a jump capable craft. But she instantly dismissed that idea. The only ship capable of getting here with a reasonable amount of jumps was the cylon raider and they had only one. Sharon had to still be on Galactica.

Then how... a cylon. Like everyone else in the fleet she was well aware the cylons could look like people and that there were multiple copies of each design. That wast he only reasonable explanation for her being in two places at once. There was no other way.

Gods, now it all made sense. Sharon's suspicions, the blackouts, and the weird things she found herself thinking about or even doing.. All of the things Sharon confided in her made sense. She'd been right. Boomer really was a cylon. Starbuck had been frakking a cylon! She'd trusted a Cylon!

Her hands shot to Helo's gun, her mind on one thing; killing this copy, this thing that wore Sharon's face, but didn't look at her in the way she'd become accustomed to Sharon looking at her. She was going to blow this Cylon's brains out now.

"No! Stop!" Helo moved fast the moment he realized what she was doing. He grabbed her gun just as she'd pulled his weapon up to aim. The shot went wild as he pushed against her hands, forcing the sun into the air.

"What are you doing? She's a frakking cylon!" Starbuck screamed in his face as she watched the Sharon copy quickly duck out of sight.

"I know." Helo answered, still not releasing her.

"You know? What the hell is wrong with you?" She let go of the gun with one hand to smack him on the shoulder. Not Helo too.

"I won't let you kill her. Shes' carrying my child." The way Helo said it more than carried through his determination. His grip wasn't relaxing in the slightest.

Starbuck struggled against him for a few more seconds before finally going limp and screaming out her frustration, hurt, anger, hatred, and betrayal. Sharon was a Cylon! They'd all been deceived. The very person who she'd fought beside, served beside, and even shared her bed with didn't really exist. She was genocidal machine; one of the beings Starbuck had come to hate the most.

How could she have been so stupid? All of the signs had been there. Sharon herself had suspected she might be a Cylon. Of course that could have been all a ruse. Maybe she hadn't known, or maybe that had been part of her little act; one of those little half truths that Cylons seemed to be so fond of. All part of manipulating them. So she had blown the water tanks and left the C-causeway open. She had been a weapon against her own crew. Gods, Starbuck felt used. She'd been had! What was worse she'd fallen for a machine. She'd fallen in l...

No, she wouldn't use that word. Not with a machine. She'd never used that word more than casually and wouldn't use it here. Sure she truly loved Zack, and even said it, but he was dead now. She loved Adama as family, but she'd never actually said it to him. Sure she'd have many lovers and used the 'L' word with little or nothing behind it as did many people. But she wouldn't use it here, because it wouldn't be empty, but it couldn't deserve that name either. One couldn't love a machine. She would admit she'd trusted her... at least as far as Starbuck would trust anyone. While Sharon had poured her heart out to her, or had seemed to, Kara had maintained her usual distance in a relationship, at least until this mission when she'd learned the truth about Earth. That Commander Adama had lied to them about it. That was really the first time she'd ever confided something that like in Sharon and for once doing so hadn't seem to bite her in the ass. In fact the woman had stood by her descision, offering to help if she could, not that there was anything she really could do. Yet it was the fact that her trust hadn't been betrayed and she'd been able to relieve some of the burden she'd been carrying rather than hide it under a joke or behind a bottle. 'I guess I was right. I was frakking right!' But her trust had been betrayed. Her feelings had been manipulated. She'd been made to look like a damn idiot by the cylons and from the sound of it so had Helo.

Gods how she hated the cylons! They'd stolen so much from them. Killed billions, bringing their number to around 40,000. They'd destroyed the loved ones and family of many of her friends, comrades, and pilots. They'd even cost her the lives of many of those she cared about. They hadn't cost her a home however. Truthfully there had never really been a place Kara could consider home, and while many others were fighting because of what they lost, she fought because it was what she did. She had an enemy, and one she hated. Now though this was personal. This betrayal made it it personal. When would she ever learn? First Adama's lie and then she had to run to Sharon. 'Frakking hell, the first thing I'm going to is put a bullet into her skull the moment he lets me go!'