Fidélité
Chapter One: Tragedies

CharliesHoodie

A/N: You guys will have to bear with me through this chapter. It’s long. And it’s a set-up for what happens in later chapters. Just like the summary says, this story is about Charlie and a struggle to raise Aaron after a tragedy. So yes, Charlie isn’t dead in this story.

When reading this chapter, you might think ‘Woah, this has NOTHING to do with Charlie raising Aaron.’ And you’re right. It doesn’t. I’ll say it again: This chapter is a set-up for conflicts that’ll happen later on. So, I hope this chapter doesn’t bore you out of your mind. Let me know what you think.

Also – I have all the chapters pre-written. There will be eleven chapters at a decent length. Updates every two days.

“Hey man,” Hurley said into his walkie-talkie. “You should really try the other frequencies and see who else you can get a hold of.”

Jack laughed slightly. His group was making their way back to the camp at the beach, a bloody Ben unwillingly with them. Jack was keeping the radio he used to get in touch with his rescuers put away to save the battery on it and using Ben’s walkie-talkie to keep in touch with Hurley, Sawyer, Juliet, Jin, Bernard and Sayid if anything happened. Desmond and Charlie’s whereabouts were still up in the air, but Jack had a sick feeling about it. He made Hurley promise to tell him when, or if, Desmond and Charlie came back to the beach. He wasn’t actually expecting them to, but he didn’t tell anyone else that.

“Why would I want to do that, Hurley?” Jack asked. “That’d just alert the rest of the Others if I tuned into any of their radios.”

“I’m telling you,” Hurley said into his mouthpiece. “What’ve we got to lose? We’re getting rescued anyway. You might get in touch with someone else – someone who needs us.”

“Someone who tells us they needs us and then kills everyone,” Jack corrected.

“That’s how things usually work here,” Hurley agreed. “But seriously.”

Jack sighed. Hurley did have a point. He remembered Ana Lucia telling him how Boone was the one who first made contact with them. Jack would feel guilty if anyone got left behind that needed rescuing. There might be people like Danielle and Alex.

“All right, Hurley. Switching frequencies now.”

Jack toyed with the dial until the numbers changed. He reluctantly pushed down on the ‘talk’ button and put the mouthpiece to his lips. He wasn’t sure why he was doing this. Anyone could easily set him up.

“This is Jack Shephard. Anyone there?”

--

Desmond’s face was buried in his hands as he sat against the door to the control room. He let out a sob that echoed inside the Looking Glass for a few seconds before turning into nothing. He rubbed his eyes, exhausted as he shakily got up on his feet, refusing and not letting himself look back behind him through the hole where Charlie was.

He would have to go back soon – to tell them. To tell Charlie’s friends who had known him longer and cared for him in a way Desmond didn’t really know. He figured that they would be offended that Desmond, practically a stranger to them, would do this to their friend, Charlie. Offended and upset like a family is when a sister or child is murdered by someone who didn’t stop to think twice what affect it would have on the family.

But Desmond wasn’t a murderer.

He kept telling himself that, but he wasn’t sure if he believed it.

Just as he was taking out the scuba gear from the closet, hands shaking, the walkie-talkie still fastened to Bonnie’s belt rustled with static and a clear voice he recognized spoke.

“This is Jack Shephard. Anyone there?”

Desmond ran over to Bonnie’s body, slipping the walkie-talkie from the belt and talking back to Jack.

“Aye, Jack. This is Desmond.”

Jack breathed heavily into the phone and Desmond panicked slightly, wondering if he was all right. Why else would Jack be fooling around with the dials on a radio and talking randomly into any frequency? But he soon learned that it was just a sigh of relief.

“Ok, good. It’s just you. Are you and Charlie all right? Where’d you get the radio?” Jack paused. “Isn’t the Looking Glass flooded?”

Desmond bit his lip, letting the question about Charlie slide for a moment. “No, actually. The Looking Glass isn’t flooded. Ben was telling lies, brother.”

Jack clutched the walkie-talkie tightly. “How do you know all this, Desmond?” He walked ahead of the group a little, careful that they didn’t hear anything Desmond was about to say and become alarmed.

“Mikhail,” Desmond began. “The Russian with one eye, you know? He came down. Ben had been telling people it was flooded and he let Mikhail know just so he could go because…ah…”

“Because what?” Jack prodded.

“Because Charlie was there,” Desmond said quickly. “I wasn’t there, but I suppose they radioed Ben asking him what to do about Charlie so he sent down Mikhail. While they were radioing him, I hid. Mikhail came. He shot the two girls, and I…thought I killed him.” Before Jack could ask him any questions, he continued. “That’s how I got the radio – off of one of the girls.”

“All right,” Jack said, trying to comprehend everything Desmond had just explained. “But you two are ok? And you’re on your way back?”

Desmond bit his lip and didn’t respond.

“You guys can tell the rest of what happened when you get back, because I’m still a little confused on what actually happened down there,” Jack said after a few seconds. “I was positive I was sending you on a suicide mission.”

Desmond felt his breath catch in his throat and he noticed his hands were still shaking, causing the radio to quiver.

On the other end, Jack was frowning into the mouthpiece. He expected to hear Charlie cheerily call out ‘Hello Jack!’ while Desmond was talking, but whenever Desmond did speak, the background sounded disturbingly quiet and dead, as if not a single living soul was around Desmond.

“Desmond?” Jack tried.

“Jack?”

Jack turned around and saw Claire approaching him with Aaron. She sped up a little so she could join him at his place several yards in front of the group. She looked up at him expectantly and held Aaron close to her.

“Who’re you talking to?” she asked, nodding towards the walkie-talkie. “Is it Hurley? Has Charlie come back to the beach yet?” her eyes widened and a smile played at her lips. Jack could tell she was trying to not burst with a grin, but was failing.

“I’m talking to Desmond,” Jack told her carefully.

Claire shrieked happily and now a smile exploded on her face as she pulled the radio down to her level, holding onto Jack’s wrist to steady it.

“Desmond?” she said, grinning into the mouthpiece. “Let me talk to Charlie a bit, ok?”

On the other end, Desmond’s eyelids fluttered shut and he tightly closed his eyes, breathing in heavily and holding the radio in a death grip.

“Charlie’s not here.”

--

Jack collapsed outside his tent, rubbing his forehead and eyes as if he was in pain. He looked down the beach and saw Claire sitting by the surf; her legs folded Indian-style and her elbows resting on her knees with her head in her hands. Jack glanced around the area for Aaron, and saw him with Sun who was sitting with Jin over near her tent, tickling the baby absently and looking back at Claire nervously.

Danielle approached Jack, holding Ben in front of her. Ben glared down at Jack angrily, his bloodied face starting to scab. Jack stood up and took Ben from her.

“I’ll take him from here, Danielle,” Jack offered. Danielle only nodded slightly and with a quick look back at Ben, she left.

Jack led Ben into his tent and tied him up against the main pole that supported the structure and was, for the most part, pretty secure and placed deep in the ground. Ben wouldn’t be able to get out without a decent struggle.

Jack looked down at him, deciding on what to do – what to say.

“Did you know Charlie was in the Looking Glass?” he finally asked, not really expecting a full or reliable answer.

Ben didn’t look moved, upset, or anything. He was just as blank as the last time he had been questioned.

“What are you going to do now, Jack?” he asked flatly. “Torture me like your Sayid friend did?”

“No,” Jack said honestly. “I just want you to tell me what you know about what happened to Charlie.”

Ben paused a very long time. Jack shuffled nervously, growing impatient. He opened his mouth to speak but Ben promptly cut him off.

“It was his own fault,” he said. “For going down there. Anyone would’ve realized it was a suicide mission.” Ben looked Jack right in the eyes, and Jack could’ve sworn the edges of his lips curled up a little in a coy smile.

Jack shook his head, breaking Ben’s gaze. “Then how come Desmond’s still alive?”

Now Ben looked troubled, but he only showed it for a moment before he put back on his emotionless mask. “You know, I don’t know why that is, Jack,” Ben answered. “I really don’t. Maybe it’s because Charlie was the weaker one. You know Darwin’s theory.”

“This isn’t about a theory,” Jack hissed. “This is about answers. This is about you telling me about what happened to Charlie, because when Desmond comes back, he’s going to tell me everything. And I might just take out all my frustration on you.” Jacks words were sharp, and there was a glint of rage in Jack’s eyes that was all too familiar to Ben. “But if you tell me what I want to know now, and if you’re honest, I might not do that, Ben.”

Once again, Jack couldn’t tell if Ben was grinning or not. But he seemed rather smug. Irritated, Jack stormed out of his tent.

--

“He, uh, had something to do with it?” Hurley asked, his voice tearing slightly as he glanced over at Jack’s tent.

Jack rested a firm hand on Hurley’s shoulder and squeezed gently. “Yeah. At least that’s what he implied – and what Desmond said. So yes.”

Hurley let out a shaky sigh and looked out over at Claire. She was still in the same position Jack had spotted her in last. She hadn’t moved the slightest bit.

“Is she all right?” Hurley asked, nodding at her.

Jack stared over at Claire, as if trying to decide how to answer. She hadn’t said a single word since Desmond told her over the walkie-talkie in the simplest way he could. ‘He’s dead, Claire. He drowned.’ Those five words had been enough to cause her to go into silence after only a muffled sob.

“No,” Jack finally said. “She’s not.”

“Oh, man…” Hurley groaned as if everything was finally hitting him at once. “This is crazy. What’re we going to do, Jack?”

“The same thing we’ve always done after people die,” Jack said, shrugging helplessly. “Move on. Help other people…”

“Charlie was my only friend here,” Hurley pointed out. “I mean, no offense dude, but he definitely was. I mean, all my other friends here, Libby for example, she’s dead.” Hurley’s eyes widened slightly and Jack knew what was coming.

“Hurley,” Jack consoled. “You’re not bad luck.”

“Yeah, I am. You think this is all just coincidence?” he blurted out. He paused and sighed. “And Desmond, we were cool for awhile. But I don’t like being friends with people that see other people die so I just kind of hung out with Charlie more…”

“What are you talking about?”

Hurley realized what he had just said and shook his head urgently. “I’m just saying Charlie was my friend. You can’t just move on from that. So don’t tell me to, dude,” Hurley said. “And don’t tell her that, either.” He looked at Claire and then back at Jack.

“Sayid loved Shannon,” Jack pointed out. “He’s ok now.”

“He’s freaking depressed, man!” Hurley said loudly, gaining a few glances. “Don’t tell us to move on, because we do that too often. He deserves more than that.”

--

Sun sat down next to Claire by the surf, Aaron in her arms. Both girls sat in silence for a few minutes. Sun watched the water play at her feet, but Claire’s face was down and her eyes were squeezed tightly shut, as if she were trying to get something out of her mind.

“Claire…” Sun said softly.

Claire’s head jerked up and she stared at Sun, wide-eyed, as if she didn’t know she had been there. Sun could tell by the way Claire’s eyes looked that she hadn’t been crying.

“It’s healthy to cry,” Sun said gently. “To get it out of your system. By holding it in, you’re only creating internal pain and denial…”

“Don’t talk to me about that,” Claire snapped, her voice low and scratchy from not speaking for so long. Her bottom lip trembled, but it must have been from frustration because she didn’t shed a single tear.

“I’m sorry,” Sun immediately apologized. “But I don’t want you to build up anger or resentment towards anyone.”

Claire said nothing, but simply went back into her position – head down, eyes closed, holding herself up with her hands. Sun was about to leave her alone when Claire spoke without raising her head.

“Sun?” she began. “If anything ever happens to me, Aaron won’t have anyone. You take care of him.”

“Oh, Claire,” Sun said. She frowned. Claire must’ve been scared for herself now after what happened to Charlie. “Nothing will happen to you,” she soothed. “Aaron will always have you.”

Now Claire looked up, her light eyes suddenly looking a little darker. She looked at Sun a moment - like she’d never really seen her before. Then her eyes drifted downwards and she stared at the sand.

“Just promise me you will.”

--

It wasn’t even close to nighttime yet, but Jack was exhausted. Almost every day on the Island wore him out. There was always something to be doing, someone to be protecting or saving. But this day – this day was like all of those days times ten. It was unbearable. Too many people had died – really only one that he truly cared about. Although the Others were nowhere near his heart, it was still hard enough to come back to the camp and see their bodies – or parts of their bodies – blown everywhere.

Jack scanned the beach to see if anyone needed him. It was like second nature now. Jack wasn’t ‘off duty’ until everyone was satisfied. He then flipped the flap to his tent up. A stench greeted him, but the sight was what made him step back.

Ben’s head was down and his eyes were closed. There was a deep cut on his jugular and blood was dripping down his shirt. The cut was messy and jagged, like it was done by someone who wasn’t quite sure what they were doing. This was enough to wake up Jack.

He immediately sprinted out of the tent, eyes wide. Everyone stopped what they were doing and stared over at him. Kate was the first to speak up.

“Jack? What is it?”

“Someone killed Ben.”

He tried to go over in his mind who could’ve possibly done it. Who hadn’t he been keeping an eye on today? And why would they want to do this?

It was by someone who had little experience. Sayid was out. So were Kate, Sawyer, Danielle and Locke. Locke was out God-knows-where anyway. But it could’ve been done in a terrified hurry.

With the recent news of Charlie’s death, maybe that’s why whoever it was had slit his throat? Jack had been watching Claire most of the day. He was worried about her; and she hadn’t moved. Now she was walking up the beach from her spot, a concerned look on her face. Hurley was out of the question. Hurley was terrified of blood. He couldn’t think of anyone else who would feel inclined to kill for Charlie.

Juliet. It had to be Juliet. She was really the only one who knew Ben. But Jack had seen her around the beach a good part of the day and he had been talking to her a lot.

It was possibly Alex. She would’ve been frustrated after Ben lied to her. But she was sixteen – hopefully too young to have a feeling for murder.

Kate’s shock and wide eyes let Jack know she was off the list. She shook her head in disbelief. Everyone seemed to be looking at everyone else now, trying to see behind their masks. Everyone waited to see who would step forward and admit that they were the murderer.

No one really blamed anyone else, though. Usually suspicion would fall on Kate (a fugitive, after all) or Sawyer. But here, on the Island, it was anyone’s game.

“Who did it?!” Jack exclaimed, alarmed. “Who the hell killed Ben?!”

No one said anything.

Jack gritted his teeth and shook his head, aggravated. He looked over at Juliet, as if she would have some kind of answer.

But Juliet looked scared. Terrified. Alarmed. Jack studied her a moment and pushed all his other thoughts aside. Something was wrong with her.

“Juliet?” he asked. “Are you ok?”

All eyes immediately fell on her.

“…Someone killed him?” Juliet gasped, disbelieving. Jack nodded slowly, watching her carefully.

She bit her lip but quickly stepped forward and followed Jack into his tent. She coughed at the stench. Jack turned to watch her reaction to the body. Her eyes grew wide and she nearly lost her balance. She wasn’t the killer. She was too shocked and disturbed by his death. This wasn’t the reaction from someone who had spent a great deal of time in a group of people as brutal as the Others.

“Are you ok?” Jack asked her, concerned. She only nodded slightly and looked back at the door flap desperately.

“You can go,” Jack told her. She immediately took the offer and left the tent, covering her mouth in alarm. Jack untied Ben’s limp body just as Sawyer and Sayid rushed in to help him.

It was time to dig another grave.

--

Desmond had left the Looking Glass without a single look back at Charlie’s floating body. He simply couldn’t bear to do it.

He rose to the surface and immediately spotted his boat. He pulled himself up inside, collapsing on his back. He was soaking wet. Water from his clothes and hair dripped off and filled up a small portion in the little boat.

Desmond laid there for a moment, breathing heavily. He waited until his breathing reached a normal pace and then sat up, immediately reaching in his pocket and pulling out Charlie’s list.

Ruined.

He angrily ripped it up. It tore easily. He then tossed it into the ocean where it sank in little wet clumps.

Desmond felt guilty right away. But he had to get back to the beach. He shakily picked up the same oar Charlie had taken him out with only hours ago and began to row back, leaving the Looking Glass and Charlie behind.

--

When Desmond rowed the boat up to the shore, Hurley was the first one to run down and help him pull the boat up onto the sand. Hurley didn’t say anything to him, only gave him a quick pat on the back and a slightly forced smile. Desmond didn’t even bother to fake joy. He started to walk away from his friend.

“You saw it, didn’t you?” Hurley asked him.

Desmond turned back around.

“Yeah, brother, I did.”

Hurley looked down at the sand, contemplating for a moment, and then back up. “And you didn’t do anything to stop it?”

Desmond could feel anger building up inside him. But he didn’t let Hurley see it – Hurley didn’t know.

“I wanted to save your mate, Hurley,” Desmond said. “And I tried, brother. He wanted it, in the end. He wouldn’t let me save him.”

Hurley face crumbled in confusion. “Charlie didn’t want to die,” he protested. “He never, ever said he wanted to. He never accepted it. He didn’t want-“

“Hurley,” Desmond cut him off. People were starting to come over to them. “You’ll hear the story. Everyone will.”

Hurley still looked angry and upset at what Desmond had said.

But Desmond was sympathetic. “I hope you’ll find some peace just like he did.”

Hurley looked baffled now. But Desmond had already turned to the group of people, telling them he wasn’t going to talk about what happened just yet. They all looked at him accusingly as they backed off, letting him go up the beach to find Jack.

When he found Jack, he was standing in a hole with a makeshift shovel clenched in his hands. When he saw Desmond, he climbed out, embracing him.

Desmond looked shocked. He didn’t think Jack had ever hugged him. He hesitantly hugged him back and then pulled away.

“Thanks,” Jack said. “For getting us rescued.”

Desmond’s eyes had drifted down to look at his feet, but now they shot back up to Jack.

“It was Charlie. Charlie did it. Not me. I had nothing to do with it…”

Jack shifted his weight, uncomfortable. “Is that how he…?”

“Drowned?” Desmond said quietly. “Yes. Mikhail flooded the control room just as he broke the signal through. He closed the water-tight door on himself to save me and the Looking Glass…”

The reality hit Jack a little too hard and he leaned against his shovel. “That doesn’t sound like Charlie.”

Desmond looked offended. “Well, that’s what he did,” he snapped. Desmond couldn’t tell Jack that Charlie had really killed himself to rescue Claire and Aaron. But he was still angry that Jack took Charlie for selfish scum.

“I’m sorry,” Jack apologized. “I didn’t mean it like that.” Desmond was still staring at him steadily. “I wish I could’ve gotten to know who he really was,” said Jack.

Desmond bit the inside of his cheek and glanced down at the sand. Jack’s brow furrowed slightly.

“Why didn’t he just leave the room and then close the door?” Jack asked. Desmond could tell he was upset now that he was really thinking about it and trying to understand what happened. Now Desmond felt sorry for him

Desmond looked up at Jack, choosing his words carefully. “I guess we’ll never know, brother.”

Jack smiled slightly and jumped back down into the hole.

Desmond studied the hole. “Is this a grave, mate?” he asked, alarmed.

Jack looked up at him and nodded. “Yeah, it is.”

“I didn’t bring back Charlie,” Desmond explained. The grave was being dug quite a distance away from the camp, and definitely not where all Jack’s other friends were buried. Desmond glared down at him. “Why were you planning on burying him all the way out here alone? Away from your little graveyard?”

“This wasn’t for Charlie,” Jack quickly explained. “This is for Ben.”

Desmond frowned. “Who did it?”

“I don’t know.” Jack finished digging and climbed out of the hole. “And I don’t think we’re going to find out for awhile.” Jack walked over to a large piece of tarp that was wrapped around a body that Desmond hadn’t noticed before. He carefully lowered it into the grave and began putting shovel fulls of loose dirt on top of it.

Desmond only watched as the gaping hole filled up slowly.

Jack finished and supported himself against the shovel, letting out a tired sigh.

“May he rest in peace,” he said, a hint of sarcasm in his voice.

--

When Desmond finished the entire story of what happened in the Looking Glass – leaving out the visions – everyone seemed to have a better understanding and acceptance.

Everyone but Claire.

She was sitting alone again, back by the surf. Sun still had Aaron – Claire had hardly looked at her own son since the news. Then she decided to do something completely out of character. She was going to go for a walk alone.

“I’ll only be gone awhile,” she told Sun and Hurley who watched her nervously as she slipped her backpack on.

“It’s probably not that safe, Claire,” Sun said, worry in her voice as she shifted Aaron around in her arms. “You shouldn’t go.”

“Don’t worry,” Claire said. “I’ve got plenty of water, food…it’ll only be for a few hours, anyway. I just need some time to myself.”

Hurley wanted to point out that she had been alone and secluded since the news, but he didn’t.

“All right…” Sun said, unsure. Claire leaned over and kissed Aaron’s forehead.

“Bye-bye, sweetie,” Claire cooed. She looked up at Sun. “Remember what I told you?”

Sun frowned slightly. “Yes. I remember.”

Claire smiled slightly, but it seemed fake. She then turned away, walking down the beach.

“What’d she mean ‘remember what I told you’?” Hurley asked nosily.

“She told me to take care of Aaron if anything happened to her…” Sun said, her voice sounding detached and concerned.

--

As Claire was walking, she decided she should probably be back before night. And that would be awhile. Nightfall was still hours away.

But what if she didn’t go back?

The thought even surprised her as she stopped in her tracks. She was in a strange state of mind; one that had become even stranger when Desmond pulled her aside after his story and told her about his visions and that Charlie had done what he did for her. Guilt had immediately flooded over her. Why did he do that? For her?

Claire sunk down in the sand, trying to read herself. What if she didn’t go back? The thought kind of scared her now, but that was why she had brought the gun with the silencer out with her. So she wouldn’t have to return.

She thought of Aaron as she shakily took out the weapon, loaded it, and put on the silencer. He would be with Sun, who was expecting a baby anyway. He would be fine now – better off without his unstable mum. He needed someone better than her – someone who could provide a real family.

She firmly pressed the barrel of the gun against her temple and closed her eyes.

Claire couldn’t bear the thought of returning to society and going on with her life like Charlie never existed. Leaving the Island would be like leaving him.

Claire was a strong believer in fidelity - the loyalty to a lover. And as it turned out, so was Charlie.

So she pulled the trigger.

Down in the Looking Glass, Charlie had surfaced in the moonpool only moments after Desmond himself had swum out of it.

-LOST-

A/N: Ahg. It almost killed me to kill Claire. I kept thinking I could weasel my way out of it, but I really couldn’t. Her death is very important to the remainder of the story. So…sorry. But you’ll loooove the Charlie drama that’s going to happen.