Pre-game fluff, because everything I’m writing right now is fluff and what could be cuter than a brotherly moment between little Zidane and Blank?

Poor, poor Blank :P

Some readers may recognise the premise for this story from All the Shorts: Bath Time in which Zidane mentioned that Blank used to give him baths when he was little…

Disclaimer: Property of Square-Enix. I borrow for the purposes of making people go “Aw!” not to make money.

Zidane doesn’t like bath time, but Blank’s the man with the plan!

Bath-Time Blues

“Blank!” Zidane whined, looking utterly piteous as he sat shivering in the tin bath, cold water lapping around him. “I don’t want to!” The little boy’s lips trembled, a drop of water dripping from his nose and splashing into the water. “Why are you making me have a bath?”

“You have to,” Blank said, his tone miraculously patient. It was the same thing he said every time. “C’mon, just get it over and done with.”

Zidane rubbed tiredly at his eyes before half-heartedly splashing around in the water. “There, I did it. Can I get out now?”

Blank noted the dirt caked over large portions of Zidane’s pale skin and winced at the sickly odour of old sweat. “No, you can’t.”

“But I…!”

“But you stink and we have a big job in Burmecia tomorrow. Do you really wanna piss the Boss off again?”

“Whaddya mean, ‘again’?”

“Who was the one who tracked mud all across the hideout huh?”

“Uh…”

“And who was the one who smashed that priceless vase?”

“But that was Cinna’s fault! He was chasing me around the room and I…”

“Ran into it and smashed it. The Boss boxed your ears for that one.”

“Don’t remind me,” Zidane mumbled through a wide yawn, wet hands reaching up to cup his ears.

“So, get clean or get ‘em boxed again. Your choice.”

Zidane tried to get out but Blank pushed him back in, sending a wave of cold and dirty water splashing over the bath’s edge. The kid was too tired to put up any kind of prolonged fight, just as Blank had anticipated. Zidane slid back into the water with a sad little sigh, knowing that this fight was lost.

Blank inwardly smirked. He’d definitely perfected the bath-time routine, which was quite an impressive feat when one considered how adept Zidane was at avoiding washing. At the slightest hint of a bath, Zidane was known to disappear for hours and Blank hated chasing the brat all across Lindblum. What a change from the kid they’d first found. Back then, Zidane had been relatively meek – and Blank sure missed those days, because now Zidane had revealed his true personality: energetic and freakishly cheerful. In fact, bath-time was about the only thing that really upset the kid and getting him into one was often nothing short of a nightmare...

Until Blank came up with the perfect solution: Surprise Bath-Time Attack! No warnings could be given and no pattern could be established. Baths had to be given at random times on random days. It was the only way to catch Zidane off guard. And when was the best time to catch a defenceless Zidane?

“Blank,” Zidane pouted. “I’m tired. Lemme go back to bed.”

Yes, tonight’s Surprise Bath-Time Attack had taken place long after Zidane’s bedtime. In fact, Zidane hadn’t woken up until he was thrown, grubby nightshirt and all, into the cold water. And by then the kid was too dazed and confused to attempt any kind of escape.

“Please Blank! Let me go back to sleep.”

Blank poked him hard, making sure Zidane didn’t doze off in the water. “You can once you’re clean.”

“But –“

“Besides,” Blank pointed at the sopping wet lump that was Zidane’s nightshirt. “You won’t get a dry one until you’re clean.”

Zidane reluctantly scrubbed the dirt from his knees. “You’re mean. I can shower outside when it rains y’know.”

Blank snorted. “Is that what you think?”

“Did it before,” Zidane grumbled mutinously.

“Yeah well, you’re in Tantalus now and if the Boss says you need a bath, I’m gonna make sure you get one.”

“You’re still mean!”

“And you still sound like a baby.” Blank passed the soap over. “C’mon kid, you’re not the only one who wants to go to bed.”

“I was in bed!” Zidane complained as he began washing his tail, all kinds of dirt lifting free of the dusky blond appendage. “Y’know one day, you’re gonna regret doing this to me.”

Blank ignored the slight burst of panic those words set off. “Zidane, I wouldn’t have to do this if you would just take baths like everyone else! Do you know how bad you smell?”

Zidane lifted one arms and sniffed his armpit. He couldn’t hide his repulsed look but said, “Smells fine to me,” regardless.

“What the hell do you do all day?” Blank demanded as he began to wash Zidane’s mop of blond hair. “Swim in other people’s garbage?”

“Um…” Zidane started scrubbing under his arms.

“Ugh, you do?!”

“Boss says rich people are always throwing good stuff away so I…”

“Well don’t! We’ll steal from the rich by actually breaking into their houses. No more looting from their trash!”

Zidane poked his wrinkled index fingers together. “Fine. But I’m gonna miss out on tons of great stuff if I do that.”

“I don’t care!”

There was a moment of silence as Zidane washed away the soap. Then, “Hey Blank? If I do stop going through trash…”

“Yeah…?”

“Does that mean I won’t have to take baths?”

Blank dumped a bucket-load of water over Zidane’s soapy hair.

“You didn’t warn me!” Zidane spluttered, looking even more forlorn than before. “The water went in my eyes and…”

“Sorry. Here.” Blank passed Zidane a towel. “Hold it over your eyes this time and we’ll finish up.”

“’Kay.”

Taking care not to make the kid start crying, Blank began scrubbing Zidane’s hair once again. He was careful this time about keeping the soapy water out of Zidane’s eyes and, in return, Zidane remained silent.

“There,” Blank said. “Done!”

Zidane escaped the bath with a whoop of glee. Blank threw a towel over his head and Zidane happily dried himself off.

“One day you’ll appreciate a good bath,” Blank said. “And on that day, I’m gonna remind you of all of this and you’re gonna owe me big time.”

Wiggling into a fresh nightshirt, Zidane offered Blank a great big smirk. “I’m never gonna like baths. Never ever never!”

Blank, with all the wisdom of a happy-to-bathe member of society, gave the kid a smug smirk. “Oh yes you will.”

“Won’t.”

“Will.”

“Won’t!”

“Oh, you will Zidane,” Blank answered, opening the bathroom door and shepherding Zidane back to his bed. “You’ll learn to love baths, just like everyone else.”

Zidane shook his head. “Nu-uh. I hate baths and I always, always will!”

And hate them Zidane did…

…until he had an unfortunate run in with a swamp, but that’s another story for another day.