2stupid: Konnichiwa. Watakushi wa-

Tensa-chan: Please speak English. None of us (including you!!!) speak Japanese.

2stupid: Whatever.

Tensa-chan: bites 2stupid

2stupid: bites back Ow! What was that for?!

Tensa-chan: Don’t be rude! Why are we writing this in the first place?!

2stupid: Because we wanted to!

Tensa-chan: Fine. I’ll give the details. It’s a Harry Potter/Rozen Maiden crossover. For you people, Rozen Maiden is about these living dolls with awesome powers. Research it on Wikipedia if you need to. It’s all on there. However, I will explain Rozen Maiden terms. Need I say more?

Makori: We hope not.

Tensa-chan: WHERE DID YOU COME FROM?!

Makori: points to big hole in screen over there.

Tensa-chan: $#&)#&$)!!!!!!!!!!!! PAY FOR IT!

Makori: EEP! runs away

Tensa-chan: chases him Get back here, you, until you’ve paid for it!

Thor: While they’re at that, here’s a language dictionary.

“English”

‘Japanese’

-German-

:Thoughts:

Traumend

“Snape,” Dumbledore pleaded. Harry could see his feet sliding on the stone floor of the Astronomy tower as he fought to stay upright. “Please.”

“Avada Kedavra!” Snape roared. Harry watched as a green jet of light shot towards his mentor.

“Suigintou!” he screamed. On cue, the almost-two-foot tall doll with black feathered wings appeared, creating a translucent blue shield in front of the aging headmaster. The Death Eaters milled, trying to grasp the idea of a living doll with magical powers. And this was a doll that fit the ‘Dark and sadistic’ category.

“How troublesome,” the doll said, her wings growing larger and shooting out feathers like daggers.

“Protego!” Grayback snarled. The feathers were stopped, but as soon as his shield came down more feathers were launched. “Protego! Protego!”

“Let’s leave, Fenrir!” With that, the Death Eaters ran off. Harry used his power- garnered from the Rosa Mystica that symbolized his bond with her as her medium- to shatter Dumbledore’s spell and run off after them. The confused headmaster stared after his pupil.

“Come on, Suigintou!” Harry had run into the chaos that was the rest of the castle; students and staff alike were fighting off the Death Eaters, although there were casualties on both sides. Off in the distance, he could see Snape and Malfoy running for it, heading for the front gates. “We can’t let them off the grounds!”

“You’re supposed to be my Medium, remember?” Suigintou asked dryly, but moved off anyways. “Meimei!” she summoned her artificial spirit, which looked like a small ball of reddish light, “Lock the gates and don’t let them open!” The ‘star’ floated off into the night.

Harry was suddenly aware of dark feathers floating around him as Suigintou blocked a Cruciatus Curse from behind. “Look out!” the doll reprimanded him.

“What are you?” Snape’s voice broke in. “Who are you to utilize a weapon such as that?”

“Why?” Harry shot back. “Does it matter?”

“Yes,” Malfoy broke in. “It-”

“Silence, Malfoy,” Snape commanded.

“Fine,” the aristocrat pouted.

“What?” Suigintou mocked, her wings growing larger and becoming longer. “Is your Dark Lord a Medium, too?”

“What are you talking about?” a bestial voice snarled from behind. “The Dark Lord’s powers are none of your concern, half blood! Your piece of junk is nothing on him!”

“Quiet, ningen,” Suigintou said. Before Fenrir could do anything, black feathers had wrapped around his wrists and ankles and dragged him into the air. “I – am – not – JUNK!” she screamed as her feathers began pulling Fenrir’s limbs apart. He screamed in agony.

“Reducto!” a female Death Eater cried, carefully blasting the feathers off the werewolf. It was then that they noticed that her wings had become much more snakelike. Harry watched in awe as they transformed into draconian heads, the feathers becoming armorlike and every orifice filling with the unique blue glow that was Suigintou’s power.

“Duck!” the female, Alecto, cried as the dragons ‘flew’ overhead. (They’re just the head and neck; they’re also still connected to her back.) They were big, big enough to swallow Fenrir in one bite and still have room for more.

“What the hell is that thing?!” another Death Eater roared. Harry froze as he felt Voldemort arrive.

“So, so,” the Dark Lord smirked. “What have we here? Another Rozen Maiden? It seems, Potter, that we are equally matched in that regard.”

“What?” Suigintou asked, taken off guard as a white-haired figure wearing lavender appeared from behind Voldemort. A single green eye looked at Suigintou’s violet ones; the other was covered by an eyepatch with a rose on it. “Who are you?”

“I am Barasuishou, the seventh Rozen Maiden.”

“No, you’re not,” Suigintou snapped. “Kirakishou’s the seventh Rozen Maiden. You may look like her, but you’re fake!”

“That does not affect my ability to become Alice, does it?” Barasuishou asked calmly. “I will become Alice and fulfill my role to my ‘Father’.”

“You cannot!” Suigintou virtually screamed. “I’m going to become Alice! You don’t even have a Rosa Mystica!”

“You can try,” Barasuishou said emotionlessly, alighting on a hard-edged purple crystal. “I will stop you.” More of them rose up and aimed for Suigintou and Harry, who was forced to dodge them. Suigintou’s dragon-wing simply snapped through the material, which was quickly resembling the inside of an immature geode, on its way towards Barasuishou. However, as soon as it reached the fake Rozen Maiden, it was destroyed by an orb of power. Immediately, Suigintou retracted her wings.

“Why are you doing this?” Suigintou asked, sending a barrage of feathers out, only for them to be counteracted by a sudden spurt of crystalline growth. “You’re not worthy of becoming Alice!”

“What are you talking about?!” the Order, which had arrived, asked in irritation. Who wouldn’t? Especially if they were told to deal with a threat only to find a pair of magical dolls fighting each other…

“Long story,” Harry said wearily. The fight was draining his energy, but he knew Suigintou wouldn’t stop until one of the dolls were defeated or the fight was interrupted. He winced as he saw Barasuishou knock Suigintou out of the air. What he did not notice were the dolls and boy that flew out of a ‘portal’ and towards the fight.

“Shinku!” Suigintou screamed. Unfortunately, this made Shinku notice Suigintou.

‘AAAHH! It’s Suigintou’s ghost! Back from the dead!’ Within half a second, the short, glasses-wearing Muggle boy had been glomped by five screaming, panicky dolls.

‘Waah! Get off me!’ he screamed.

“We need someone who speaks Japanese,” McGonagall stated matter-of-factly. Meanwhile, the screamfest continued.

‘I’m not back from the dead! I’m not dead in the first place!’

‘But we saw you die!’

‘Get off me!’

‘No, you didn’t!’

‘Then what was that?’

‘Get off me!’

‘I don’t know!’

‘Then how do you know that you’re not dead?!’

‘Get off me!’

‘Because I still have my Rosa Mystica!’

‘We saw you die! Waah! Chibi-ningen!’ a doll with long brown hair, a green dress, and mismatched green and purple eyes wailed.

‘Now Suigintou’s back from the dead! Waah!’ a blonde doll with short hair, green eyes, and a puffy pink dress and bow wailed. She wore little pink ballet shoes.

‘Obviously, she’s not. Get over it already.’ This was the only doll who had gotten off the Muggle, who was still screaming at the remaining dolls to get off as well. She had long blonde hair in slim, curled ‘pigtails’, blue eyes, and was wearing a red Victorian-style bonnet and dress, with long white socks, black dress shoes, white underdress, big green bow tie, and held a slim black cane and book. ‘Laplace obviously sent us here for a reason, and I doubt it’s for arguing.’

‘Who’s Laplace?’ a rather sardonically amused Suigintou asked. She had picked herself up and dusted herself off as well. ‘And why would he send you here, Shinku?’

‘Laplace is a humanoid rabbit wearing a tuxedo and top hat,’ the Victorian doll, Shinku, replied. ‘I have no idea why he would send us here, except for the fact that now all the Rozen Maiden are in one place, even Barasuishou.’

‘Barasuishou’s not the seventh Rozen Maiden,’ Suigintou informed the other doll. ‘Kirakishou is.’

‘What?’ several voices chorused at the same time. The boy took the chance to pry off the pink-wearing doll while she was distracted.

‘Waah! Jun!’ she wailed in an excessively high-pitched voice before latching onto his neck.

‘I can’t breathe! Leggo, Hinaichigo!’ the boy, Jun, cried, attempting to pry Hinaichigo off again. Harry noticed that he was rather short, young, and slightly unkempt; he wore jeans, sneakers, an open blue jacket over a green T-shirt and had thick square glasses.

‘Who’s Kirakishou?’ another doll, this one with short green curls, a white-lace-edged yellow overcoat-blouse mix and minature sun hat, and large, poofy, green pantaloons, asked.

‘What’s Kanaria doing here?’ the fifth doll, with short brown hair, a navy blue and white sailor suit, and mismatched eyes the opposite of the other brown-haired doll, asked. ‘Does anyone speak Japanese here?’

‘Nope,’ the long brown haired doll said.

-What about German?-

-Nope-

“English?”

“You speak English?” Harry asked.

“Yep. Oi, Chibi Ichigo,” the long brown haired doll said. “Barasuishou’s out to get you!”

“Waah!” the one Harry believed was called Hinaichigo wailed. Harry watched as the other doll proceeded to steal her purse. “Give it back!” The two of them began a catfight, confusing the watching audience. The Death Eaters, Voldemort, and Barasuishou took the chance to vanish, and Dumbledore finally made it to the infirmary.

“Break it up!” the Muggle yelled, attempting to pull the two dolls, who had grabbed each other’s hair in a death grip, apart.

“Waah! Let go, Chibi-Ningen!” the brown-haired doll wailed, turning to pound on him as well.

“I’m not a Chibi-Ningen!” the boy roared. “Stop it, Suiseiseki! Hinaichigo! Don’t bite me!” Things took on a circus-like atmosphere as the three of them tussled for superiority.

“Jun!” Shinku said. “Stop it.” With that, she slapped him.

“OW!”

“Yeah, stop it!”

“Stop it, Chibi-Ningen!”

“Don’t call me Chibi-Ningen!”

“CHIBI-NINGEN!”

“I wonder who will win,” the green haired one, Kanaria, said. She was lying on her stomach on the grass with her legs waving idly behind her, watching the fight in front of her.

“Kanaria! Suiseiseki! Souseiseki! Hinaichigo! What are you doing here? I understand that Jun is Shinku’s medium, but where are yours?” Suigintou asked.

“We came because we were visiting Shinku and Chibi-Ningen when we got dropped into the rabbit hole!” Souseiseki said. Her sister (short brown hair), Souseiseki, nodded in agreement.

“Rabbit hole?”

“The rabbit made it, so it’s a rabbit hole!” Hinaichigo said cheerily. “Jun’s my medium too!”

“And unfortunately, Chibi-Ningen is mine as well,” Souseiseki sighed.

“What rabbit? You mean Laplace?” Harry asked. “Who is Laplace?”

“Laplace is a man dressed as a rabbit. He wears a suit and gives out advice in the form of bad rhymes.”

“This sounds a lot like Alice in Wonderland,” Hermione, who had come up, said. “Harry, they got away.”

“What?” Harry looked around; indeed, many of the Death Eaters had vanished. “Drat that.”

“Who are you and where is this?” Jun asked.

“What is a Muggle doing here?” Percy asked.

“I’m not a Mubble, or whatever they’re called,” the boy said.

“I’d like to see you do magic, then,” Percy sneered.

“What about the dolls here? They need a medium to supply power. Does that count?”

“Hush, Weasley,” McGonagall said.

‘Hey, Shinku, could you get us out of here pronto?’ Jun asked.

‘Don’t, Shinku, this involves the Rozen Maiden,’ Suigintou disagreed.

‘I’m sorry, Jun, but Suigintou’s right. Didn’t we just see Barasuishou?’

‘Fine, fine.’ Jun looked disgruntled.

“We have to erase his memory,” Percy was saying. “Or else this could all get nasty.”

“But he obviously has magic,” McGonagall complained.

“He could have found a magical artifact and played with it by accident. I suggest we try it, check the dolls, despell whatever’s making them move, and give them back.”

“That won’t happen,” Suigintou said. “You cannot do such a thing; only we Rozen Maiden can.”

“What’s to stop us?” Percy virtually sneered.

“Just try,” Suiseiseki said. “We’ll stop you.”

“Obliviate them,” Percy told the group of Aurors beside him.

“Obliviate!” several voices said.

“No!” Harry watched as Shinku stepped in front of her medium, conjuring a red shield in front of her. All the spells bounced off.

“Jade Dream!” Suiseiseki called, pulling out a decorated green watering can and watering the area in front of her. Plants leapt out of the now-watered ground and attached themselves to the Aurors.

“Lempicka!” Souseiseki cried, her artificial spirit swirling around before solidifying into a pair of ornate garden shears.

“Do they do this often?” Harry asked the other Medium as a miniature war between the dolls and the Aurors broke out. Hinaichigo used strawberry vines, Shinku used rose petals, and Kanaria used a violin… interesting. Then what were her binoculars for? They were ornate enough to be a weapon.

“No. Usually the only things they’re interested in are drinking tea, destroying my window, and drawing on my floor with crayon.”

“Well, at least Suigintou’s not like that.”

“I really envy you.”

“So how are you going to get home?”

“We’ll find a mirror someplace, I guess.”

“Actually, I was hoping you could stay here until we got rid of Voldemort, our Dark Lord, and Barasuishou.”

“I’d have to tell my sister and friend, first, you know, and I have to bring their boxes back. And Hinaichigo would probably deface the entire school, get lost, get into catfights with Suiseiseki, and the entire group would probably turn this place upside-down.”

“No problem.” Internally, however, Harry was thinking :This is going to be troublesome.: “Boxes?”

“The things they sleep in. Doesn’t Suigintou have one?”

“Yes. I thought it was a suitcase, though.”

“Whatever. I’ll see if you can stay, because we’ll probably need your help.”

“It’s almost dawn,” Jun said, looking at the lightening sky. “Well, I’d better call off the dolls before something drastic happens.” Harry looked at the fight. Hinaichigo had entrapped the group in vines and was drawing on them in crayon; Souseiseki and Suiseiseki were attempting to make their wands grow, with Suiseiseki cackling insanely every once in a while; Shinku had pulled out a light from somewhere and was reading; Kanaria was under some bushes, spying on her sisters and talking to her artificial spirit, Pizzicato, about taking her sisters’ Rosa Mysticae without making an actual attempt to do so; and Suigintou was sitting on a piece of leftover crystal, looking mysterious.

“Yes,” Harry agreed. It was a new day, with new possibilities.

Done! There, now what do you think? Should I keep going? Should I burn this and stop writing? Commit suicide? What?