Paintings and Austria Part I

It was late in the afternoon when the sun was setting and the sky’s warm tones of orange and pink were hovering over Colonel von Strohm’s office. Lt. Gruber and Colonel von Strohm were discussing plans to leave Nouvion to take vacation in Austria.

“Zhat is a most delightful country, colonel,” commented Lt. Gruber. “Zhe flourishment of zhe fine arts and music, zhe museums, zhe culinary treasures, oh, how can ve not enjoy ourselves?” Gruber’s eyes sparkled in admiration and his mind drifted into a daydream.

“Of course, Gruber,” interrupted the colonel. “Ve need a fine place to get avay from zhese tasteless French peasants. And Austria vas vhere zhe Führer vas born. Even more reason to love Austria.”

“Vhere vas zhe Führer’s place of birth?” asked Gruber.

“Brannau am Inn.”

“Ah, yes, classic rural living. Zhe Führer’s vonderful paintings depict Austria’s incomparable beauty, both rural and urban. Vell, zhey don’t make painters like zhey used to anymore.”

“Yes and good zhing zhat zhe paintings of zhe Fallen Madonna vis zhe big boobies and zhe Cracked Vase vis zhe big daisies aren’t from zhe Führer,” the colonel joked.

Gruber grinned thinking about all the troubles they had to go through with sausages and hiding the paintings in René’s café and in his trousers, too. Gruber realized that he owed René so much for his protection and willingness to be at aid. The lieutenant knew how much danger René was in and the loyal Frenchman was willing to risk his own life at the hands of the victorious Germans. Gruber also helped René in turn to get out of sticky situations. All those nostalgic memories rushed through his mind. Such sweetness he thought. The lieutenant gave a warm smile and unconscientiously put his hand over his benevolent heart. His mind drifted away.

“Gruber, vhat in God’s name are you doing?!” yelled the colonel with much distaste.

At the sound of his harsh voice Gruber’s cheeks reddened with much abashment and quickly put his hand down.

“I’m sorry…colonel,” Gruber barely uttered out of childlike innocence.

“I vould assume you’re in love, Gruber?” the colonel raised an eyebrow.

The embarrassed officer cast his eyes down.

“No, it’s just zhat I’ve been zhinking about…vell, maybe if ve could possibly…”

“Possibly vhat,” von Strohm anticipated.
”Vell, invite some others to our trip to Austria,” Gruber blurted with some confidence. “Like General von Klinkerhoffen or even Helga or Herr Flick.”

The lieutenant knew only too well that he was on thin ice about such matters concerning ‘impressions’ about himself. Nevertheless, he knew how to handle situations in which he might be exposed with amazing timing, but not necessarily with ease. And it works well! Gruber always kept his cool.

“Oh, yes, you’re right Gruber,” von Strohm immediately gasped. “It vould look bad on us if zhe general vasn’t invited to come. Imagine if he found out zhat ve left out of novhere. He vould probably zhink ve qvit and I cannot imagine zhe long lecture he vould give us about zhe superiority of zhe German Army and probably fire us! Or vorse, zhe Russian Front! I can’t let zhat happen!”

The next day Helga came in ready to announce General von Klinkerhoffen.

“Good morning Helga,” Gruber politely greeted.

“Good morning to you both mein Herren,” she said in return. Then she yelled with much force, “GENERAL VON KLINKERHOFFEN!!

And with that, she happily stood erect. Colonel von Strohm and Lieutenant Gruber immediately took their positions and smiled as the general grandly entered in.

“Heil Hitler,” the general normally greeted.

“Heil Hitler,” the rest said in return.

“Good morning gentlemen,” smiled the general. “Ve have important business to tend to vis much care and attention. Zhe Führer has received zhe paintings of zhe Fallen Madonna vis zhe big boobies and zhe Cracked Vase vis zhe big daisies. However, zhe Führer had zhose paintings inspected by art experts and proved forgeries! Vhich I am very disappointed in you both for not taking proper action! You have failed me! Vhat is vrong vis you? Vhy can’t you do your jobs right? You’re Germans for goodness sake! Do you vant to go to zhe Russian Front? Do you know zhat I could be fired because of zhis? My job is on zhe line here!! I got a zhreat from zhe headqvarters in Berlin saying zhat if zhe REAL paintings are not given to him visin a time span of 3 days, zhe Gestapo vill come to arrest me…and…oh, I need to sit down!”

The general was trembling and sweat came rolling down his proud face. They’ve never seen the general get this mad before, as if he almost threw a tantrum. His arms were wailing all over the place and his eyes were fiercely burning like a hot rod. Helga too, was very much astonished. She immediately gave the hot-blooded officer a glass of ice-cold water to calm his nerves. He sat drinking his water looking like a child who was much in need of consolation and nurture. It seemed that his insecurity was starting to show under that courageous uniform. Von Klinkerhoffen composed himself with whatever dignity he had left and donned his cap confidently. His small eyes sharply directed the colonel and lieutenant. He calmly spoke.

“Please…do not fail me or your country. I thought I could trust you both vis just one duty. Zhis is zhe last chance zhat is left to prove yourselves vorthy. I don’t vant to be ashamed of you. I saved you from zhe Russian front. I took you both under my command because I know how faithful and loyal you are to your jobs. But now I see zhat vas all a delusion. Ve are supposed to be zhe victorious German Army whose unfailing loyalty, discipline, obedience, and stamina are by far zhe best. Far above all…but most importantly are zhe camaraderie and varm friendships between comrades. Strong bonds make people stronger in spirit. A strong spirit is everlasting. And zhat is vhat makes our army invincible. Zhat is all I have to say. Good day to you gentlemen.”

General von Klinkerhoffen left without even saying ‘Heil Hitler’. His inspiring words left the colonel, lieutenant, and Helga speechless. They knew he was gravely disappointed. Gruber felt just awful about himself and wanted to show the general his genuine loyalty. But what about René? He didn’t want to involve him either. His job is his job. He didn’t want to fail anyone and he sure didn’t want to go to the Russian front. Well, then the trip to Austria must be off.

“Colonel, ve must do something to find zhose paintings in 3 days or zhe general vill be taken avay,” Gruber was concerned.

“I know, I know, but I vanted to go to Austria too,” the colonel answered apathetically.

“NO!” the lieutenant angrily cried. “Ve need to dance to zhe music and face zhe reality of zhings. Ve need to step up and get on vis it immediately. So shape up!”

Gruber’s eyes widened and stiffened himself with his newfound authority. He certainly felt proud in his stance. And he enjoyed it, too. He gleamed in his uniform ever so nobly. Colonel von Strohm was even scared of Gruber at the moment. He didn’t think he could pull off something like that.

“My apologies Gruber,” von Strohm admitted. “Now let’s go find zhose blasted paintings!”

“Apology accepted colonel and zhat’s zhe spirit.” Gruber was glad to see that they were on a mission for the general and he would make sure the job gets done without fail. Maybe, maybe until then will the trip to Austria be possible.

First stop, René’s Café. René was busying himself taste-testing wines with Yvette.

“Well, there’s got to be a bad wine for the Germans here. But at least Edith is an asset with her voice to drive them away.”

“Oh, René why don’t we go run away somewhere just the 2 of us, alone?” Yvette cooed.

“Yvette, you know how much I long for that,” René stroked her hair.

Yvette sat on top of the counter. Oooohhhh RRRRRené, crush your lips on mine, hold me in your strong bear arms and never let go.”

Finally, René got to share an amorous moment with Yvette, alone. He kissed her until their little ‘moment’ was interrupted.

“Ah, good day René. How are you today?” Lt. Gruber cheerfully greeted.

René shrieked and let go of Yvette. He started to sweat.

“Oh…lieutenant, eh, good of you to drop by,” he nervously answered.

Gruber’s face immediately fell into disappointment at the sight of Yvette in René’s arms. So, he had to swallow the bitter pill and keep his poise. René, on the other hand, also tried to keep his cool.

“René, I need to talk to you. It concerns a very important matter.”

“Not now lieutenant.”

“Vell, I could see your hands ARE a bit full, I guess. Busy vis other matters zhat are more important.”

Gruber obviously didn’t like seeing René with anyone else. But, it wasn’t really a jealously he held against anyone. His heart was a delicate one and such fancies of René he kept close and dear. He wouldn’t give up trying just because some French tart was in the way. However, it did pierce his heart and discouraged him deeply to pursue René when Yvette or any other girl romanced René. But his tenacious spirit kept him going. He would get to René one way or another.

“Please, René ve need to talk, seriously. It concerns zhe general’s, zhe colonel’s, and my life as vell. I promised zhat I vould not fail on zhis mission and I need your cooperation.”

“Oh, alright lieutenant, what is the problem now?”

“I need to know vhere zhe REAL paintings of zhe Fallen Madonna vis zhe big boobies and zhe Cracked Vase vis zhe big daisies are. Zhe Führer received forgeries. And once zhe general found out, he vas furious and greatly disappointed in zhe colonel and I for not doing our duties properly. I am not going to let zhe general or my country down. Please, René, help me, tell me vhere are zhey?”

“To be honest with you lieutenant, I had to give them to the…Resistance. Michelle threatened me almost at gunpoint to give them up. What was I supposed to do? I wanted to get those paintings out of my possession so I wouldn’t get into any more trouble. I am tired of worrying about the Germans and the Resistance. I just want life to be back to normal.”

Gruber sympathized with René and felt his troubles. He immediately grasped René’s cold, worn hand and put it in between his soft, warm hands. He gazed deeply into the Frenchman’s weary eyes with a welcoming comfort. René felt very uncomfortable. He started to sweat in heat of the situation. He didn’t want to anticipate what Gruber’s next move was. Although Gruber meant good, he couldn’t keep up.

“René, vhat’s wrong? Your hands are trembling and you seem tense,” the German officer frowned. “I don’t like to see you like this.”

“Um, I think my wife is calling me right now. Coming in a moment Edith!”

“Yes, please do René, it’s your mother-in-law!” yelled Edith from upstairs.

“Well, lieutenant, I have to go now and tend to my sickly mother-in-law. Nice of you to drop by though,” the café owner swiftly went upstairs.

“But vhat about zhe paintings?”

“You can figure it out.”

And in came Colonel von Strohm with Captain Alberto Bertorelli.

“Heil-a Mussolini,” grinned Bertorelli.

“Shut up,” von Strohm retorted.

“So, Gruber, have you found out vhere zhe paintings are?”

“Oh yes, colonel, René told me zhe Resistance has zhem.”

“What-a did you have to do-a to make-a René confess?” joked Bertorelli. “I’m-a sure you made-a heem a happy man, eh?”

Gruber stared at the smart allic Italian captain with much discontent.

“Vhat is zhat supposed to mean?” he barked back.

“Qvit it you two,” the colonel stepped in. “Ve should be insulting you, Bertorelli, and your ‘glorious’ Italian Army.”

“Hey, I’m-a da one with da medals. I’m-a da war hero here.”

“Vell, it sure doesn’t show.”

“How-a do you think-a I got these-a medals?”

“Zhe same vay you got your peacock hat…”

The Italian captain and the colonel kept exchanging insults until Helga came in.

“Hello, lieutenant and colonel,” she happily greeted. “I have some news for you.”

Right when the colonel was going to speak, Bertorelli got in the way and started greeting Helga in his own way, of course.

“Ah, da beautiful lady, I kiss your hand.” He exaggeratedly kissed her whole arm. Helga pulled back and made a face.

“How about-a dinner tonight-a at my-a quarters and we will-a make-a da sweet love under da moon with da Italiano music.”

“You stupid peacock, dirty man zhat you are, NEVER!!” She slapped him across the face and down came his helmet.

“How dare you speak to her zhat vay,” Gruber defended Helga. “She is a lady. She deserves respect. Not some meaningless flattery. Yes, she is beautiful, but please, a real gentleman vill complement her in a more eloquent manner. I’m sure she vould appreciate zhat more zhan getting ‘physical’. Vomen are not some sort of eye-candy used for pleasure. Zhey are human beings vis feelings, too. And zhey deserve recognition. For goodness sake, she vorks for zhe German Army! Zhat deserves respect too! She is doing a good service to her country. Now, you’re just a low-class peacock idiot! Shame on you!”

Everybody was left astonished at Gruber’s statement. Helga stared at him for a moment and felt touched at his words. She never felt like that before. She thought to herself that not even Herr Flick would take such a stance. She appreciated the German’s good words. She smiled at him a comforting smile. Gruber smiled back and actually stared a penetrating gaze into her eyes.

“Zhank you lieutenant,” Helga spoke. “I appreciate your defense for me. You understand me. And you hold your morals vell. Certainly a true gentleman.”

“It’s no problem, really,” Gruber said coolly. “I just zhink zhat’s zhe vay it’s supposed to be. It just bothers me to see someone disrespected. And zhanks for zhe compliment, too. Zhat’s how I vas raised.”

Capt. Bertorelli certainly didn’t see that coming out of Lt. Gruber.

“Captain, you vill apologize to Helga,” Gruber commanded.

“Ok. I’m-a sorry Helga for what I said-a,” Bertorelli reluctantly said.

“Apology accepted,” Helga said in return.

“Good, now let’s get back to business,” Gruber smiled.

He reassured Helga with a glance and caring smile.

He never felt this way before about Helga or any other girl for that matter. Feelings of concern, benevolence, compassion, and warmth for Helga developed in his delicate heart. Could this be happening? He thought. He never realized he had a soft spot for her. He actually enjoyed her company and was always polite to her, too. But falling head-over-heels? Could it be true? He started thinking of her more often. He knew she was pretty, but it wasn’t lust he was after. It was genuine. On the other hand, Helga too, was developing deep sentiments for the German officer. She started to think about her relationship with Herr Flick. Was she really going anywhere with him? He sure didn’t treat her like Gruber did. With Gruber, she felt safe and cared for. She knew she could trust him. She thought and contemplated about the circumstances with Herr Flick and Gruber. So confused! But her heart would guide her to the right man. She needed to trust her judgment. Gruber could offer her so much more! Both became entangled in this internal web of tantalizing emotions.

The next day, the whole gang met at René’s café to discuss plans for getting the REAL paintings from the Resistance. René was nervous as usual seeing the Germans around.

“Ah, hello, colonel, lieutenant, Helga, and Captain. What can I get you all?”

“Ve vill all get some breakfast, some crêpes and Belgian waffles vill do vis some milk,” the colonel ordered.

“Oh and please make my crêpes extra light, René,” Gruber added with a wink.

He stared at René for a little bit then back at Helga. He did love René no doubt, but Helga was something new and refreshing. He would have to wrestle with the two inside himself. He felt just as confused as Helga did. But he couldn’t let that distract him from his duties. He promised that he would get the paintings for the general without fail. As they ate breakfast, they discussed plans.

“Ok Gruber, how do ve get zhe paintings visout zhe Resistance finding out?” von Strohm asked.

“Vell, it vould be qvite simple, but needs to be done vis caution and good timing. So here’s vhat I got:

Since zhe members of zhe Resistance are all girls, ve vill need to use Helga as a pretend French peasant interested in joining zhe Resistance. Of course, she’ll have to speak vis a French accent. Now zhat’s a sort of diversion for Michelle. As for us and zhe paintings, vherever zhey are, Helga should be able to signal us vhen she finds vhere zhe paintings are. Zhen, I vill replace zhe paintings vis forgeries zhat I have saved. And you colonel and captain vill be on zhe lookout to see if anyone is coming or vatching. Once ve are done, Helga vill have to inconspicuously get herself out and ve vill signal her. Ve vill go in a taxi car driven by Bertorelli and pick up Helga from zhere. So, vhat do you zhink?”

“Gruber, by God, you’ve done it!” exclaimed the colonel.

“Wow, lieutenant, I don’t know if I could pull it off, but vhy me?” Helga questioned.

“I trust you Helga and you’re smart in zhese situations, plus, you could possibly be our only hope.”

Helga agreed to do it.

“And I get-a to be-a da taxi driver, you won’t-a regret it,” Bertorelli commented.

A German guard came into the café and addressed the general.

“GENERAL VON KLINKERHOFFEN!!”

The general, as usual, grandly strided in.

“Heil Hitler,” he greeted.

“Heil Hitler,” the rest of the Germans responded.

“And heil-a Mussolini my generalissimo,” Bertorelli added proudly.

The general made a face showing disapproval.

“You vill shut up and keep your comments to yourself unless you are spoken to. So keep your Mussolini to yourself. If I say Hitler, zhen you stay vis Hitler. Got zhat?”

“Yes, general.”

Good, now about zhe paintings, have you got any idea vhere zhey are and how to get zhem?”

“Oh yes general,” the colonel gleefully answered. “Gruber told us zhat zhe paintings are vis zhe Resistance and he has genius plan to get zhem.”

“I vill replace zhe real ones vis forgeries and give zhe real ones to you,” Gruber added.

“Good, it seems zhere is progress here. Remember, zhere is a 3-day time span and 2 days are only left. So get cracking! I mustn’t stay too long but I vould like to hear your plan Gruber. Vhere is a vaiter vhen you need one?” the general demanded.

René came out immediately.

“Eh, general, what would you, uh, like?”

“A shot of schnapps is good for me.”

“Yes, sir.”

René came back with the shot of schnapps while the general and lieutenant were discussing the plan.

“I am glad zhat you all vill vork together as a team. Zhat is vhat I vant to see. Cooperation is a good virtue. And as comrades you vill demonstrate zhe true meaning of loyalty. But remember, zhere are only 2 days left and I’m counting on you all. Don’t fail me.”

“Yes, Herr general, ve vill do our best to succeed,” Gruber confidently assured him.

“Good day to you, gentlemen. Heil Hitler!”

“Heil Hitler and zhank you.”

Now that the general left, the gang got ready to get their jobs done. Before leaving, Lieutenant Gruber went to René at the bar to bid him good-bye.

“René, may I have a moment vis you?”

At the sound of his voice, the café owner grew nervous anticipating what the German officer had to say or do.

“Yes, lieutenant, do you want something?”

“I just vanted to say good-bye before I leave to zhe Resistance,” he gazed in the Frenchman’s eyes.

“Well, then good luck to you.”

Before Gruber could grasp René’s hand, René started cleaning some glasses.

“I vill replace zhe real paintings vis forgeries.”

“I hope that Michelle won’t tell the difference and come hunt me down,” René worried.

“Don’t vorry René, zhose forgeries I painted myself a vhile ago and zhey’re pretty good. Zhere should be no problem, I assure you. Let me tell you zhat painting zhe Madonna vis zhe big boobies vas qvite a task for me, it vas a little unusual at first but I somehow got used to it.”

Madame Edith came in and announced cabaret time.

“All right everyone, time for Café René’s cabaret time with the lovely nightingale Madame Edith Artois!”

At the sight of Edith, the lieutenant immediately had to leave.

“I’m sorry, René but I must go,” he smiled. “Vish me luck.”

“Ok, lieutenant, let me know if you need…,” René caught himself before the lieutenant could hear his next words. And out he went from the café.

He went into deep contemplation about René and Helga. Mixed feelings were fighting each other. His poor heart could only take so much. Yes, he loved René, but was it genuine? And Helga, he felt for her in a romantic sense, too, but how dangerous is it to fall in love? Was he ready to give his heart up? Lt. Gruber cared for them both and treated them well. A smile from one of them made his day. He had to straighten his sentiments out, no doubt. He couldn’t let them distract him. His fancies had to be put to rest.

“Hey-a lieutenant, we are-a waiting for you and check-a out this-a taxi, da ladies will-a love this,” Bertorelli the driver was impressed. Everybody in the taxi knew their roles for getting the paintings from the Resistance. Helga was dressed as a French milkmaid peasant with the typical beret and wore a black wig. She had to look as French as possible.

“Oh my, Helga, you certainly look different. I don’t zhink I could get used to zhat, especially zhe black hair. Your blonde hair gives you a livelier, radiant look,” Gruber complemented. Helga was obviously flattered.

“Vhy zhank you lieutenant, no one’s ever flattered me like zhat before.”

The colonel and captain looked at each other and nodded. They guessed that Gruber wouldn’t do that to a girl. Well, he DID.

Anyways, they were on their way to the Resistance in the taxi Bertorelli drove, which was his car, but he painted it. Everyone was confident in their parts. The Resistance headquarters was located somewhere in a forest not too far from Nouvion. It was not a big building; it was something like a wooden shack with a flagpole outside. The taxi parked not too far from the building so Helga could walk inside and be able to signal the officers. Helga got off the car and into the building she went. A female guard was at the door.

“What are you doing here, mademoiselle?”

“Me, a young peasant milkmaid doing here? I’ll tell you what I want,” Helga demanded in her French accent. “I am interested in joining the Resistance. I fight for what you fight, against those German swine. Vive la France!” Helga couldn’t believe she said that. But she had no choice but to appeal to them. Now she wished to wash her mouth. The guard took Helga in to meet Michelle.

“Bonjour, mademoiselle, I hear that you are interested in joining us and fighting for France. What is your name milkmaid?” Michelle asked.

“My name is Antoinette Lavoisier. I come from a small humble village near Nouvion, from Nancy. And I wanted to somehow contribute to the French war effort against the Nazis and regain French morale and spirit.”

Michelle was impressed.

“Well, you certainly have the spunk we need. You have the spirit of the French people. And you certainly have our goal to fight against the Germans and prevent them from winning the war. But let me tell you that this task isn’t easy as it looks. It takes a lot of nerve to undertake secret duties. Even if it means confronting the Germans. Ruthless people that they are…no class…Come, Antoinette, I will give you a tour of our headquarters.”

The colonel, lieutenant, and captain were outside the building behind bushes with binoculars trying to spot where Helga was.

“Gruber, Michelle is giving Helga a tour of the place,” von Strohm informed Gruber.

“I hope zhis doesn’t take too long, colonel, she should be able to spot zhe paintings in zhose sausage wraps.”

“Check-a out da beautiful ladies in there. I wish-a they wouldn’t-a wear those-a trench coats. I want-a to know-a what’s underneath-a,” Bertorelli was distracted.

Gruber and von Strohm looked at him.

“Colonel, I don’t zhink he vill be of much help,” Gruber disapproved.

“I don’t know or even vant to know vhat is going through his mind right now.”

Inside, Helga was a little worried about where the paintings were. She reasoned that the paintings were in Michelle’s office. The tour finally ended in Michelle’s office. But how was Helga going to search her office with Michelle there speaking about French patriotism and insulting the Germans? This is probably going to take a while Helga thought. She eyed Michelle’s desk and couldn’t find anything. Probably they were behind or inside the desk drawers. Finally, out of coincidence, an informant came in Michelle’s office to speak of an important matter.

“Michelle, there is a message for you follow me.”

“Antoinette, please wait until I come back. I have important matters to tend to. We will finish our talk later and get you prepared,” Michelle left.

Ok, the door was shut and the room was hers to search. Helga quickly looked up and down the office. Lt. Gruber spotted Helga scurrying through papers and files.

“Colonel, I found her in Michelle’s office.”

“Good, now ve vait for her signal.”

Jackpot! Helga found the sausages containing the real paintings from underneath a drawer. There was a window behind the desk with curtains. She opened the window and stuck her head out slowly revealing her beret and wig. She waved her arm.

“Gruber, zhe signal, look, qvickly go in zhere,” ordered the colonel.

Gruber had his paintings ready to replace. He ran to the window where Helga was and got in.

“Do you have zhe forgeries?”

“Right here,” he smiled.

Helga took out the sausages and Gruber placed his forgeries in the same place.

“Ve’ll get out through zhe vindow, hurry lieutenant.”

“Good timing, Miss Geerhart. But you get out first so zhe colonel and captain can see you. Ladies first.”

He held her hand to lead her out of the window. Their faces came so close that both of them stopped and profoundly gazed in each other’s eyes. Helga’s ocean blue eyes and Gruber’s tender brown eyes. How warm and comforting it felt! Their worries were gone at the moment and was almost bliss. An uncontrollable emotion immersed them to almost kiss but they realized they had business to take care of. It was a warm short-lived moment. They were pretty close, but they knew timing was everything in escaping.

“Captain, look, zhey’re done, now drive!” yelled the colonel. “Hurry!”

Bertorelli’s taxi drove up to where Helga and Gruber were. Gruber shut the window quickly and opened the car door for Helga and in they went. Bertorelli drove off immediately.

“Zhank you for helping me lieutenant.”

“Oh no, zhank you Helga for being brave. If it vasn’t for you, ve vouldn’t have gotten zhe paintings.”

The colonel immediately asked,”Vhere are zhe paintings, Helga? Give zhem to me.”

“Here, colonel, zhese are zhe originals.”

“Good, good. Zhe general vill be so happy. Finally, ve vill be able to go to Austria!” cried the colonel with joy.

Gruber and Helga were in the back seats.

“You could take off zhe disguise Helga. I vant see your natural German beauty radiate,” Gruber complemented while taking off her beret.

“Yes, zhank you. I can’t stand zhose French Resistance girls vis zheir patriotism and no sense of German superiority. I can’t believe I even said ‘Vive La France’ and German swine!”

“Don’t vorry, at least Michelle got your point clearly. Even if it pains you to go as far as zhat. I know it still hurts, but you know zhat zhey don’t know how to mess vis Germans. Clueless, arrogant people…”

“I am glad ve got zhis overvis.”

They didn’t speak of the little ‘moment’ they had. They were still somewhat embarrassed and blushed at each other. It was something rather innocent.

Next stop was General von Klinkerhoffen’s office. Everybody got off Bertorelli’s taxi feeling confident. A German guard told the general about the gang’s arrival.

“Let zhem in, Günter.”

“Heil Hitler,” the general usually greeted with a click of his boots.

“Heil Hitler.”

“Gentlemen and Helga, good of you to drop by. Vhat is zhe news?” von Klinkerhoffen wondered.

“You’ll be so happy, general, you von’t regret it,” the colonel cheesily smiled.

“Vhy should I regret being happy? Now out vis it.”

Zhe paintings, general, ve got zhem. Zhey are zhe originals. Now zhe Führer can be satisfied. Look at zhem.”

The general’s eyes widened and his face glowed with excitement.

“You did it! You actually got zhem! Zhank you, zhank you! How could I ever zhank you? I knew you all could do it. You have proven yourselves visout fail. You all have done vell. As comrades, you learned zhe values of vorking together as a team, trust, obedience, and loyalty. I am so proud!” He was ecstatic.

“Vhy I appreciate your compliments Herr general. I’ve never seen you zhat exited,” Gruber was flattered.

“Vell, you all deserve it. Now I need to get zhese to Berlin. But first zhey must be inspected. Gruber, vould you please do zhe honors?”

“Of course, Herr General, zhis von’t take long.”

10 minutes later Gruber announced the status of the paintings.

“I have found zhese paintings to be of spectacular condition and I zherefore render zhem to be zhe exact originals detail by detail. I assure you zhat zhe Führer himself vill be delighted. I talk from experience vhen I vorked in an art museum in Germany,” Gruber proudly declared.

“I trust you Gruber, zhe Führer von’t be mad. He vill have an art expert do zhe same and I’m sure zhey vill say zhe same zhing,” the general assured.

Herr Flick of the Gestapo came in.

“Heil Hitler.”

“Heil Hitler,” the rest said in return.

“Vhat brings you here Herr Flick?” the general asked.

“I just vant to know if you have zhe paintings yet,” Herr Flick stared.

“Yes I do, here zhey are in zheir original forms. Zhe Führer shall be most satisfied.”

“Vell, I certainly hope so. Vhy don’t I take a look at zhem, too.”

“Go right ahead.”

Herr Flick spread the paintings and thoroughly inspected them. 5 minutes later, he glanced at the general approvingly.

“I find zhese paintings to be zhe authentic ones. Zhey are a fine piece of art indeed. But let’s see if zhe Führer agrees. Heil Hitler.”

“Heil Hitler.”

Right after Herr Flick left, a sigh of relief swept over the office. The general was the first to speak.

“Vell, zhe deed is done, congratulations!”

“Ve should celebrate!” exclaimed Gruber.

“To Vienna, Austria!” shouted the colonel.

“Wow, it seems you already planned zhis out von Strohm,” commented von Klinkerhoffen.

“I need to know vhat times zhe train leaves tomorrow.”

“Vhere should ve stay in Vienna, colonel? Perhaps a fine hotel vis all zhe culinary delicacies imaginable and ballroom elegance or maybe an enchanted castle filled vis rich history of a noble heritage?” Gruber happily imagined. “Oh, and vhat about good entertainment vis good ‘ole traditional German-Austrian folk dancing? Can’t get enough of zhat accordion and brass,” he continued.

“Vienna is certainly a cultural treasure and it is a perfect place to relax and have fun. Ve all deserve it,” Helga added.

“I don’t-a get what-a is so great-a about this-a Vienna. I thought-a all German speaking-a places are filled with-a people yodeling in lederhosen and dirndls. How-a ridiculous is that-a?” Bertorelli commented.

“I don’t zhink you’ll ever appreciate German culture since you immediately judge us, Bertorelli, zhere is more zhan meets zhe eye,” von Klinkerhoffen advised.

“Well, I’m-a sure there are da beautiful ladies there,” Bertorelli hoped.

Everyone else just rolled their eyes. They will never understand Italian thinking nor will Bertorelli understand German thinking. Everybody was drinking some schnapps.

Gruber felt he was in a new phase in his life. He adoringly glanced at Helga for a moment and thought to himself if she was the one for him. The German tank corps officer had much to contemplate about and the trip to Vienna, Austria would be a refreshment. But then, what about René? Was he willing to leave him behind or even ready to confess his love for him? And Helga, well she’s got beauty and brains, which Gruber appreciates and they both work for the German Army, a noble service to the country. Gruber certainly wasn’t an average man, he wanted to bring the best out of everyone and he meant well.

Helga, too, appreciated Gruber’s consideration and acknowledgement. She didn’t get that kind of treatment from Herr Flick. She started not feeling amorous around Herr Flick anymore. In fact, he kind of scared her, the more she thought about it. Around Gruber, she felt most comfortable and she could actually have a real conversation with him whether it was about art, music, politics, religion, work, food, entertainment, etc. almost about anything that interested them both. Herr Flick’s conversations were normally one-sided with the spotlight on him. With Gruber, there was this arousement, just a burning desire to be with him. And he’s a good-looking man, too. But how was she ever going to break up with Her Flick? She planned on doing this before going to Vienna.

And Gruber, well, he probably had to talk to René that he was leaving to Vienna. Certainly, the lieutenant fell helplessly in love with Helga. He enjoyed her company as well and admired her courageous spirit. He was sincere with her and didn’t lust after her for the sheer pleasure of it. He felt it genuine. But René was somehow in some way hampering the German’s heart. What was he to tell René? Maybe Vienna was the key to his heart.

TO BE CONTINUED…STAY TUNED!