AN: Ok... I am soooooo sorry. I cannot even begin to tell you guys about the last couple of weeks I've had. Like, it would litterally take to long to tell you. And I still got a lot ahead of me. We are buying a house and the process is about finish... and now, our car has decided to start shutting off. That is just a taste. But again, I'm terribly sorry. And even then I would have found time, but my computer was out of commision for a large percentage of the time and... well talk about your series of unfortunate events...

So here it is... I'm not going to lie, I'm not in love with it. For anyone who was wanting drawn-out whump, sorry. I don't know how its possible because I'm obsessed with whump, but this story ended up being only a hurt/comfort fic, and not really whump. Again, so sorry but if I did that, it would have been a much longer wait and that woud have been too unfair.

Again.. soooo sorry. And, in spite of me, you don't have to review at all. Just, as long as you are at least semi-pleased with the ending, thats good enough for me.

sorrysorrysorrysorrysorry..

Teyla smiled as she watched the scene before her. Colonel Sheppard, fully clothed in loose-fitting pants and a button up shirt, sat bickering with Dr. Beckett. John was still stuffed up, making his voice sound odd and it was apparent that his throat still hurt, but he looked the best he had since he arrived back on Atlantis four days ago.

“John, all I‘m asking for is one more night…”

“And all I‘m asking for is one night of real sleep,” John countered, still sitting on the edge of the bed looking ready to run for it the first chance he got.

“Oh, you‘ve slept, lad. And you still have a slight fever… I just think its best that you stay a little longer…”

“Yeah, but you said so yourself, the worst of it is over. And I can promise you that I will never get completely better staying in here. I mean yeah, I sleep, but there‘s no actual rest… And doctors always say that everyone needs rest…”

Teyla watched Dr. Beckett consider this reluctantly. They were both right, really; John was still sick, but he was much better and if he wasn’t getting any rest in here, it may help to go to his own quarters. Feeling split on the subject, she remained quiet, knowing that they would eventually decide on what was best for the Colonel.

“Fine,” Beckett said finally with a slight frown. “But you‘re gunna stick around until I get all of your meds ready, got it?”

Colonel Sheppard grinned triumphantly and nodded like a small child.

Teyla was glad that the Colonel was getting what he wanted and would hopefully be able to rest, but she also understood Dr. Beckett’s reluctance to let his patient leave so quickly. Things had gotten pretty bad with Sheppard, almost to the point where everyone was fearing his complications were do solely to his run-ins with the Wraith, and not just a sickness. His temperature had reached soaring levels less than a day after his return, and things had only gotten worse from there. For a full day, Beckett was fighting the Colonel’s fever, as well as his nausea, coughing, and other painful symptoms that had plagued him. It had been a difficult time for them all to watch him go through it so soon after his other ordeal, but he still did it with remarkable strength.

And, as quickly as it had came, it went. Or, had started to die down at least. Immediately afterwards, Dr. Beckett had concluded that it was a “24-Hour Bug,” and that, unless anything else came up, Colonel Sheppard would be ok after some rest and recovery.

And here he was, his legs dangling over the side of the bed, smiling up at her. She, of course, returned the smile and stepped closer.

“You have an odd way with people, Colonel,” she spoke softly, grinning at his abilities and remembering the first time they had met.

He shrugged. “Whatever works, right?”

She continued to smile as she thought of him, and herself over the last few days. She had had every intention of visiting him directly after her talk with Ronon, or at least soon afterwards. It hadn’t taken her long to realize that she really did want to see him, and was already on her way to he Infirmary when Elizabeth had asked her to go on the mission. And she could not say no. A part of her believed that Elizabeth had only been trying to help because she knew that Teyla was reluctant to see Colonel Sheppard, and it would have been nice an hour before, but she went regardless. And her prayers of a simple, quick mission had thankfully been answered, allowing her to return to the Colonel just as his symptoms were starting to worsen.

It had been a little uncomfortable at first, especially since he was starting to look worse by the minute, but when he spoke and smiled, Teyla saw him as nothing more than a sick, close friend. And it had only taken moments for all the awkwardness to fade, and leave only Colonel John Sheppard lying before her. She had soon come to realize that it had been her fear that as a result of his ordeal, he would have changed somehow, that had kept her away. Become a different person much like the one she had seen on the screen. But as he made small jokes with Ronon, Carson, and herself, she wondered how she could have ever doubted him in the first place.

And of course, Elizabeth had stopped by regularly as well for an update on his condition. It was no secret that Elizabeth favored Colonel Sheppard and his team, as she was always hanging around them more in comparison to the other teams. But that of course could be explained away with the fact that the Colonel was her second in command. But Teyla knew otherwise.

The only thing that had not returned to normal was Dr. McKay. She had not seen him since her visit to his lab the first day, and he had most importantly not be seen in the Infirmary at all. But no one made many comments on it.

And now, four days later, Colonel John Sheppard was ready to leave the Infirmary for good. Well, at least until his next mission went wrong, she thought darkly. But that thought was for another time.

“Well, I must say I am glad you are feeling better,” she said happily. He was still sick, but nothing like what he had been days before.

“Yeah, me too,” he replied honestly. “Now, if he would just hurry up, I‘d be doing a lot better,” he continued, his eyes darting over to Beckett’s office.

“Patients, Colonel. You would not want to rush him while he is preparing your medications.”

“You‘re right,” he said, stretching his arms above his head. “He may spit in them…”

Teyla looked at him confused. Dr. Beckett was an interesting man at times maybe, but he would never do anything as horrible as spitting in the Colonel’s medication. Sheppard apparently saw her confusion.

“No… its just a saying. You know… like when fast-food joints spit on your burger… ” But when he saw that his attempt at clarification only baffled her more, he gave up and just grinned of her lack of knowledge when it came to Earthly things.

“Alright, lad,” a voice came echoing through the mostly empty Infirmary. They looked up the see Beckett coming towards them looking slightly agitated. “I‘m going to let you go, but you are only leaving on strict orders of bed-rest. You know as well as I do that your body is in no condition to be doing anything else. You can only leave to get some food, and even then I want you with someone. No buts son, or you can just stay right in here and we‘ll bring you your food,” Carson added as John opened his mouth to object.

“And I have detailed instructions in the bag,” he continued, lifting the small plastic bag filled with little jars. “You are to follow them exactly. If I find out about any abuses, you‘ll be coming back in here and that‘s that. Now, I also put some mild sedatives in there in case you can‘t sleep…”

“Doc,” John interrupted. “I got it. Can I please go?”

Beckett was about to answer when the Infirmary doors slid open, revealing both Elizabeth and Ronon. They came into the room smiling and staring at John.

“Heard you‘re about to make a break for it,” Ronon asked in his deep, rumbling voice.

“Well, I was beginning to think so, but it seems as though the good Doc here has no faith in me,” he replied, looking accusingly at Beckett.

“You‘re only half right, Colonel. If there was ever a situation in which you needed to give up your life for someone else, I have faith you‘d do it in a heartbeat. Now, when it comes to caring for yourself….”

“Ouch, Carson,” John interrupted again, pretending to be offended by the doctor’s words. “That was well below the belt.”

“But true,” Elizabeth added, looking down at Sheppard with a grin.

“Fine. I‘ll accept that you are all against me, as long as I can get out of here…”

“Aye, lad. You can go…” John began to get up with excitement, but Doctor Beckett grabbed his shoulder and pushed him back down. “Right after I check your temperature.”

John gaped at him and his evil grin. “Oh, come on! You did that fifteen minutes ago…”

Beckett continued to smile. “Well, one more time can‘t hurt…”

Everyone began to laugh but Sheppard, who sat back down and waited patiently, though not without a frown.

“So, how is life beyond these prison walls,” he inquired, trying to pass the time with small talk about the home he had yet to see for over four days.

“Pretty good. You know, its funny how over the past four days, there was not one need for a rescue mission,” Elizabeth responded, looking around at the three team members.

“So, its been boring,” John added, countering her attack.

They all chuckled at this comment. “Like you wouldn‘t believe. And its been too quiet,” Ronon added.

John smiled again, this time wearily. “So, Rodney must still be locked up in his lab then?”

There was another small chuckle at this comment, though nothing like the first. And it was for the simple reason that it was blatantly true.

“Unfortunately, yes,” Teyla answered first, her eyes reverting to the floor.

“I‘m not entirely sure he‘s left at all. I mean, other than to eat perhaps…” Elizabeth added grimly.

“No,” Ronon interrupted. “I ran into one of his men bringing food to his lab. The little guy spilled it all over me…”

“You didn‘t kill him, did you,” Sheppard asked suddenly, looking almost completely serious. Ronon only laughed.

“Kind of felt like it, but then he squeaked out something about bringing it to McKay, so I let him go.”

“Good, Chewie,” Sheppard replied. Throughout the entire conversation, Beckett had been doing his thing, and was apparently finished.

“Alright lad. Got nothing else to stall on, so you can go.”

Sheppard stood up quickly as though it would prevent him from being called back from Beckett, and straightened his shirt.

“Well Doc, it‘s been fun, but I‘ve got to go save Rodney before he kills himself,” John stated as he began to leave the Infirmary. He must have felt the death glare that Beckett was giving him because he immediately turned around and added: “Right after I get a good night‘s sleep.”

He smiled innocently right before the doors slid closed behind him, leaving the others staring in his wake. They all knew that he had been lying and that he had no intention on going to his quarters right away. But they didn’t do anything to stop him. Instead, they began to speak about something that they had all been wondering about.

“You think he‘s ok,” Elizabeth asked, asking what they were all thinking.

“Physically, yes. Mentally… maybe,” Carson answered, never looking at any of them, just staring at the door still.

“Well, if he‘s not now, he will be.”

“This is true,” Teyla added. “For him to be as alright with it as he is now can only be a good sign. He has not done anything to withdrawal from any of us. Though, I do sense that he is still battling with it some.”

“Well, if it’s a battle, I have no doubt that he will win it,” Elizabeth said, finally turning to them with a sigh. “But he will be talking to someone none-the-less. You guys should all get some rest, and I‘ll see you at dinner.”

With that, she turned around and followed the Colonel’s footsteps out of the Infirmary. Ronon too left, and just before Teyla was also ready to leave, she began to think again about the Colonel.

She knew that there were still some things bothering him, though that was to be more than expected. But it bothered her that it had been him helping all of them get over it alland not vise versa.

But it did not matter now, as he was gone, but she knew that he would be fine. Truly fine. And with that last thought, she finally felt ready to leave the Infirmary.

“Rodney, please,” he scolded, peering over at the red-eyed doctor. He knew the man had been there for days, but he had not listened to any of them telling him to get some sleep, so they had given up.

Rodney’s head shot up from his lap-top and stared at Zelenka with pure annoyance.

“You know what, Zelenka? I don‘t actually recall asking you to come in here anyway…,” Rodney shot back, his eye twitching. The constant cups of coffee were taking full effect on him, and it was very obvious. Zelenka turned his head away, knowing that to fight with him was futile.

They all knew what the problem was, but no one wanted to talk to him about it, as all previous attempts had been useless. But when the thumping started up again, Zelenka decided it was time to end this. He closed his own lap-top and without saying a word, he left the lab and headed to one of the few people he thought could help.

He was heading for Elizabeth’s office when he suddenly collided with someone after turning a corner. The force of the impact was enough to knock him down, but as he opened his eyes and saw legs before him, he realized that the same was not true for the other person. And… he knew those legs.

“Oh, I‘m sorry Dr. Z… didn‘t see you there…”

“Colonel…,” Zelenka stammered as he accepted the Colonel’s outreached hand and allowed the man to help him up. He was surprised at man’s strength. Not that the Colonel was not supposed to be that strong, because John Sheppard has always been an unbelievably strong man for his rather small stature, but Zelenka had not seen him since the broadcast of the feedings and which point he had looked anything but physically strong. And yet here he was, the same as always.

“You.. You are okay…”

Sheppard laughed. “Yeah Doc, I‘m good. I‘m guessing Rodney‘s in his lab still?”

Zelenka sighed. “I‘m afraid so, Colonel. I was about to go get Dr. Weir, but I think you may work better.”

John grunted out a laugh again. “Ah, we‘ll see about that. Not really good at this sort of thing, but it‘s Rodney. You never really know with him…”

“Yes… this is true, Colonel. But he is doing himself bad. He has not slept and is shoving in coffee like it was candy,” Radek replied, sighing.

“Well, for McKay, coffee is candy. Well alright, Doc. Sorry about knocking you down and hopefully I‘ll have Rodney out of your hair here soon,” Sheppard said, nodding at Zelenka as a goodbye.

It had been a long walk from the Infirmary. Not really because he was hurt or anything, although he was still tired, but it was all the stares he got as he made his way through Atlantis’ hallways. He hadn’t really thought about that part, having conquered most of his team’s nervous looks. But it hadn’t occurred to him that everyone else in Atlantis had either seen what he went through on the screen, or had heard about it and that none of them had seen him.

He couldn’t say exactly how many of his men either smiled at him, or came up to him to tell him how happy they were he was ok. It was a little odd, but he appreciated their concern. And when he had finally run into Radek, he had only wanted to get to Rodney’s lab that much more.

But as he neared the lab, his stomach began to restrict. What was he going to say? He had not lied when he said he was not good at this sort of thing, and was still shocked at the speech he had delivered to Elizabeth. But the thing was, the only thing he thought would work on Rodney was the one thing he was really not wanting to do.

But, his reluctance did not stop him. Instead, he tried not to think about it and just kept a steady pace to Rodney’s lab. But when he reached the door, he stopped and considered the situation. Maybe it wasn’t best to just walk right in. He reached up to his ear and activated his comm.

“Rodney…” he began, wincing at the sound of his scratchy, heavy voice.

“Yes, yes I‘m here. But whoever you are will just have to wait because I‘m right in the middle of a very important discovery and if I get too far distracted then it will all just blow over to hell, and I‘m not really in the mood currently to start all over. So, you‘ll just have to settle for Zelenka, and while I know that is a drastic drop in quality, you‘ll have to deal. I‘m sorry…”

John sighed deeply at McKay’s long-winded rant, knowing that the tone at the rate at which he spoke were all indicators of severe discomfort for Rodney McKay. This might end up being a little more difficult than he originally thought.

“Oh no, I was looking for Zelenka anyway. I think this one might be over your head,” John replied with a grin, leaning against the wall beside the door to the lab, just waiting.

“Who is this,”an annoyed, yet nervous sounding voice inquired.

John took a deep breath, then thought the door open. It slid open to reveal a very disheveled looking man, his clothes looking stale and dark circles forming under his eyes. Oh yeah, worse that I thought, John mentally told himself. John took a step in, letting the door slide shut behind him. Rodney just stood there, completely dumbstruck for all of two seconds before whirling around to face his computer once again.

“Hello, Rodney,” John started heavily. He didn’t know how this was going to go at all, but judging by Rodney’s initial reaction, not so well.

“Colonel,” McKay shot back, sounding almost normal, but John saw through it. McKay didn’t not look away from his laptop, but kept talking in a rather steady voice. “I find it hard to believe that needle-pushing voodoo doctor actually released you…”

John paused, taking in McKay’s attempt at being normal, and honestly, he really did sound a lot like his usual self. And had John not known him for as long as he had, he would have believe Rodney McKay was just fine. But he had known him for a long time and had picked up on all things McKay.

“Well... I never really needed to stay there anyway…” John continued, knowing they were dancing all around what needed to be said, but he had just not found the opportune moment to dive in to the heart of the problem. So… he kept this game going.

Rodney forced a laugh that sounded harsh and wild, causing John to frown.

“Oh yes, I‘m sure you didn‘t. Cos a healthy dose of Wraith-sucking is always good for the skin. And to make it even better, you do it three times a day. And in the unlikely event that you survive, you get a free Wraith friend,” Rodney ranted, sounding like one of those cheap commercial that tried to sell people utter crap. “Breaks all the rules of logic and all things possibly? Sure does. But who cares? If your Colonel John Sheppard, no rules apply!”

Now John was shocked. No, he had no idea what to expect when he first walked in here, but if he had to guess, he would guess that Rodney would be the opposite of how he always acted, which would mean little to no talking. But, he was wrong.

“Rodney…” John tried. His ‘Rodney’s’ always had a certain effect on the scientist, and usually calmed the man, or otherwise had the intended effect on him. But not this time.

“What, Colonel,” Rodney shot back, furiously turning around to face Sheppard, still standing in front of the door. However, when Rodney made eye contact with him, John could have sworn he saw the man wince and he promptly turned again to face his computer.

John thought quickly about what to say. An eerily uncomfortable silence had settled over the room, and John knew he would have to say something a quick. And whatever it was, had to work a miracle on Rodney. After a few seconds though, he realized that he would not be able to actually think of anything good, so he let himself talk.

“Oh, for heaven‘s sake, Rodney,” he finally said exasperatedly. “If you don‘t want look at me, then fine. But why don‘t you take a look at yourself. In case you haven‘t noticed, you look like shit. And everyone‘s worried.”

Rodney said nothing, just continued to type away though John was sure he wasn’t really doing anything on that damn computer. Sheppard was finally feeling a little more comfortable, and took a few more steps into the lab, and closer to Rodney. It was almost as if he could see the man’s body stiffen.

“I know you‘ve been in here since we got back, Rodney. And… I know… that you‘re… upset,” John sighed. As he got closer and closer to the real issue, the words became harder and harder to say. “And honestly, I don‘t know what to say that could fix that. But, you can‘t stay in here. That won‘t help at all. Trust me.”

Rodney continued to type, though his movements were much slower now and John was sure he had the man’s complete attention.

“I know its not our way, but talking to people might help. Or maybe not. I’m as clueless as you, but I do know that locking yourself in here getting drunk of coffee will not fix your problem…”

“And what makes you say I have a problem, Colonel,” he heard a small voice say coolly, and noted that Rodney had still not looked his way.

John laughed at this. For a man so smart, how could he say such stupid things?

“Ok well.. Let‘s see. We‘ve already addressed the way you look, though I could go on for days on that one. And then there‘s the fact that you‘ve been in here for days with little to no sleep. Oh, and then there‘s that whole thing about you not looking at me and only referring to me as “Colonel.” Should I continue?”

John now found a nice little seat and stared at the back of Rodney’s head. He watched cautiously and could almost see the frustration and whatever else building in Rodney McKay. It got to the point to where his hands began shaking slightly and he even stopped typing.

“How… how..” he began, his voice hysterical. “How do you do that? Every damn time! You.. You almost die and then make a damn joke about it?! I just don‘t get how you can brush it off like it was nothing…”

Things were getting a little out-of-hand, and John could sense that. However, he knew that this may be the only way to end McKay’s little problem.

“McKay…” he grunted out, standing up. Rodney suddenly turned to face him, and actually started looking at him a few times too.

“No, Colonel. Just don‘t. You just don‘t understand, do you? You may not think anything of this, and I‘m not trying to be a drama queen, but damn! That Wraith sucked your life out three times, and there was nothing we can do, but sit there and accept that you would never be the same again! D you know how many times I‘ve had to accept that you are dead?! Or will otherwise never be the same?”

John watched shocked once again. It literally looked like McKay was angry.

“And… and nobody makes it back from those things. No one. And even if they do, they die. Or… or kill themselves…” his voice got smaller at this part, and he trailed off. And then it hit John like a ton of bricks as he remembered Brendan Gaul.

“Rodney…” his voice now was lighter as his little light bulb went off. “This was very different and I‘m fine…”

“How is it different? And… how do we even know that? I mean, yeah, you look the same now but..”

“But I‘m not gunna shoot myself, McKay,” John interrupted, feeling appalled that Rodney would even consider him to do such a thing.

“Oh, and like I really thought Brendan was going to blow his brains out…”

“Well maybe if you just came to talk to me, or anyone else, instead of avoiding me, then you may have figured out that I‘m far from suicidal… And besides, Gaul did that to save us, not because he couldn‘t handle it.”

Silence fell over the room again. Rodney’s eyes stayed on the floor, while John’s stayed glued to Rodney, desperately wanting him to say something.

“And… and I do think something of all of this. I mean, how could not,” Sheppard said finally, and it came out as somewhat of a confession. The ordeal had taken a toll on him and he had been seeing the Wraith while he was sleeping, but he didn’t want to say anything to any of them. He felt Rodney start to look his way, but Sheppard was now back in his seat, also starting at the ground.

“Look,” John tried again, his voice soft and full of meaning. “I… I can‘t imagine how it felt for you all to… watch that. But I do know that it does not feel good knowing you guys watched that. I mean… it was kind of like I was stripped down and showing everyone who John Sheppard was underneath it all…” John chuckled solemnly and brought his hand up to rub his forehead gingerly.

“Well, now you‘ve just added to my nightmares. Oh, and how could you possibly say that you, of all people, are not suicidal. Mr. First One to Volunteer for a Suicide Mission” McKay responded shakily. But, his attempt at humor was promising nonetheless.

“You have to sleep to have nightmare, McKay,” John countered, ignoring the suicide part.

“Oh yeah? And what about you? How much sleep have you gotten? I heard you were sick down there…”

John laughed again. “I‘ve slept a lot. And yeah, I got sick. But it was just a cold. I‘m perfectly fine now.” But he heard Rodney snort.

“I‘m… sorry Sheppard,” Rodney said semi-profoundly, catching John off-guard. “Its just that it gets harder and harder to accept you‘re dead. But… we’ve done it a couple of times. And this time, even if you did find a way to pull through, you‘d still be out of here and back on earth before I could say Kilimanjaro and then… while it would be easier to live here without you…” Rodney said, trying to catch himself before he said anything too sentimental. But Sheppard knew what he was saying. And knew that they were okay.

“Oh stop your whining McKay. We all know you were excited about me being old ‘cos then you wouldn‘t have nearly the same amount of competition…”

Rodney finally looked at him and didn’t turn away. But he did shake his head. “There you go again… always making jokes. And, you‘re no competition at all.”

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever,” John replied grinning. “Now, if you‘re willing to stop avoiding me, how about we go down to the mess hall and cause a scene before going to bed?”

“Cause a scene? You can‘t be serious…”

John Sheppard smile mischievously. “See what happens when you spend over four days away from me? You start losing your mind. Of course we‘ll cause a scene… we always cause a scene.”

Rodney sighed and stared at his commanding officer and… friend. And for the first time, he didn’t get flashes of him gagged in that chair, writhing in agony every time he looked at Sheppard. And he didn’t see him with gray hair and wrinkles. He just saw John Sheppard. Plain and simple.

“Fine. I am kind of hungry. But not if its Salty Soup Day. That is some of the worst stuff I‘ve ever had the displeasure of putting in my mouth.”

“I‘m sure it wasn‘t too happy about going into your mouth either, McKay…,” John retorted, looking back quickly at Rodney as they left the lab and headed to the mess hall.

“We‘re going to be ok, aren‘t we,” Rodney asked after a few moments of silence.

John smiled to himself and kept walking. “Yeah, I think we will be.”