Dreams Built Of Sand

Chapters: one shot
Type: coda, drama, angst
Rating: PG
Main characters: Dean, Sam
Timeline: 1x06 – Skin
Summary: Little coda for episode 1x06 Skin. Set after the end of the episode.
Beta Reader: none
Disclaimer: Don't own the show; don't own the brothers (sadly).
Written: June, 2007

“Have you heard what he said?” Sam hesitantly asked.

“What?” Dean asked wondering what Sam was referring to.

“In the sewer, the shape-shifter. He- he told me that you were angry I went to Stanford.”

“It's not what I think Sam. He was playing you.” Dean answered

“He was assimilating your thoughts, your feelings. It spoke the truth.”

“We've already spoken about that and I said I was ok with it, now drop it.” Dean bitterly replied and Sam knew that it was a lie. Realisation at what he had put his brother through had been hard on him. But he had believed it when Dean told him it was ok. Of course this had been exactly what he had wanted to hear and he felt relieved to know that his brother held no grudges. How wrong had he been. Dean had played him all the way and if it hasn't been for the shape-shifter he would never have known. He knew that Dean had done it purposely, for him to feel better, but it tasted all to bittersweet to him.

“I know you're lying,” Sam said matter-of-factly

“Haven't I said drop it already,” Dean hissed

Sam remained silent for a while, he wanted to shout at Dean but after consideration thought that a more diplomatic approach would be more effective. He turned the words again and again in his head carefully forming sentences that would efficiently convey his feelings.

Dean's mind was racing as well. Although his thoughts were a little less well coordinate. Of course being abandoned by his brother had been hard on him. Of course he'd been angry and he did not need a shape-shifter to realize that he was still not over it. But these were his problems not his brother's. Hell, Sammy had already enough trouble getting over Jessica's death, he did not need to be bothered with that as well. But trust the kid to jump in and take the guilt trip down memory lane at the first opportunity.

“He said you had dreams of you own. What were they?" Sam carefully asked, turning to Dean.

“Not much,” Dean shrugged.

“Come on Dean. Drop the macho attitude and talk to me.” Sam advised. “I want to know,”

“Why d'you care,” Dean bitterly replied, he was not ready to drop the barrier and expose himself.

Sam let go a sigh and thought a little more before simply replying “I want to know you.” He paused and waited for his brother to look at him before continuing. “I mean, we're brothers but sometimes I feel like I barely know you.”

‘And there you go again,’ Dean thought. Sam was looking at him with his wet puppy eyes and Dean cursed himself mentally for falling for it again. He swore to himself that this was the last time, but he knew that his barrier would go down again and again everytime.

“I just wanted a family,” Dean replied in a voice that wasn't more than a murmur. And Sam really had to listen carefully to make it out.

‘A family’ what did Dean meant by it. A little-house-on-the-prairie-like family? The loving mother and caring father, leaving in a warm and cosy house with their two kids. This was a dream he also had.

“Maybe when this is all over, we can live with Dad in a house or something,” He ventured.

“Yeah, like this could happen. You and Dad can't stay in the same room for more than five minutes without getting at each other's throat.”

“That's because of the way he threats us. But maybe when it's all over it'll get better.”

Dean did not reply, considering the thought, hoping that it was true.

He did not want to talk of this more than he already had, but he felt that he had to. He sighed, hating feeling exposed like that.

“I tried to keep it together. Man I really tried. But it's like, it's like building things with sands, you know. It all fell apart through my hands.”

“I'm sorry Dean,” Sam said with repressed sadness in his voice. “I'm sorry I left, I'm sorry Dad left. But it's not your fault. It's not because of you; we had our own issues. And I'm really sorry you had to pay the prize for it.”

“Yeah whatever," Dean replied. Sam extended his arm and put his hand on his brother's shoulder as he spoke, hoping that Dean would not shove it off in a desperate attempt to look in control.

“Dean, I ain't leaving again any time soon. I promise.” He tighten a bit is grip on his brother's shoulder, relieved to see that Dean let him do so, before adding. “And we're going to find Dad, and then we'll be family again.”

FIN