Watch and learn
Prologue

It was quiet. The room smelled like dust and old papers - time and ancient games. It could've been comforting had his mood been anything but what it was and it could've been soothing if his heart hadn't been breaking. Without needing to be told, without needing to think of it, he knew that nothing would be able to calm his hurting, thundering, shuddering heart - nothing would make his hands stop shaking, nothing would prevent his eyes from watering…

Hikaru turned the page of the kifu, and nearly winced at the sound of the stiff page rustling. He knew that it was just a copy of a copy, something printed in some print shop, something you could buy from any specialised store. Still, no matter what printing date was written in the covers, it felt like it was ancient, piece of nearly lost history. The pages felt like they were stiffened by time and could break if he handled them roughly…

Shusaku's kifu… Sai's kifu. It didn't look all that special to untrained eye, just mishmash of black and white dots with numbers in them. And even if you knew what the dots and numbers meant, it still wasn't anything special - one kifu among many… but to Hikaru it was a near relic. He knew that many Go players had studied these kifus and learned much from them, to those players these kifus were like guidance from the past, but to him… they were much more important.

His eyes trailed over the game played over hundred years ago, reading it with skill which came from knowing the game, and playing it until it became a second nature. As he followed the path the game had taken, he felt his blood begun to race with excitement. "Sai's hand here," he whispered. "Up down left right diagonal… it's incredible hand from all directions."

He could imagine how the game had went, how the opponent had been confounded by the hand. "After playing a hand like this… the opponent would be so blown away by the difference n strength that he'd lose the desire to continue…." He could imagine how Sai would look down upon the opponent as the opponent resigned, not with mockery, not with pity, but with certain pride and acceptance. Understanding the defeated and hoping that the defeated would learn from his loss.

"Sai…. He's…. he's a genius," Hikaru whispered with certain self loathing. "I… I should've let him play more. That would've been better than me playing," he frowned, looking down to the kifu desperately as if trying to make it understand, trying to speak to man who had died long ago, and to the spirit who had once been with that man. "How come I never thought that until now? Yeah, Toya would've been happier with Sai playing too! I should have let the genius Go player Sai play all the games!"

With a jolt, he came to realisation. "I see. That's what Torajiro did… because Torajiro, unlike me, was strong enough to try to become a pro when he met Sai… with Torajiro's talent, he was able to see Sai's strength… so he let Sai play…"

Standing up, he stared down to the kifu with desperation. "I didn't know anything about Go and didn't understand Sai's strength at all! I only cared about playing myself!" with self hate, he brought his hands up to grip his hair. "Even when I understood how amazing you are, I pushed you to the back! I'm an idiot!" He had been selfish. Not understanding Go he hadn't understood Sai, and when he got recognition for Sai's abilities, he had wanted to have similar abilities himself… he had wanted that recognition for himself, for his talent…

"Sai…" he whispered, bowing his head. The dam begun breaking, his eyes watered and single tear drop fell down. It fell to the kifu, causing a gasp from him. Quickly he tried to wipe it off so that the kifu wouldn't be damaged, but as he did so, he found him once again staring down to the game, to Sai's brilliance… he had always looked down upon Sai's abilities, never realising…

"I should've let Sai play," he cried, closing his eyes to hold back the waterfall of tears. "From the beginning… anyone would have agreed… it would've been better if I'd let Sai pay instead of me. All of the games. All of them! All of them!"

With a shaky breath he looked up to the ceiling. "I don't need anything! I won't ask to play anymore! So…!" his voice was rough and hitching with tears, the desperation giving it a tone he had never used before. Sniffling he gathered his strength and tried to be heard all the way up to heavens. "God! Please! Return things to the beginning! Return time to when I first met him!"

"Oh, I know that that is. You can play chess with it, right?"

Hikaru blinked with surprise. Gone were his tears, gone was the record room and the table, gone were Shusaku's kifu. Looking down he found an old, dusty Goban before him. Hikaru had his hand's resting on the each side of the Goban, as if he had just placed it down. And on the other side of the board stood young Akari, dressed to vest, polo and skirt, bowing and looking down to the Goban with curious look.

Hikaru's eyes widened as he looked down again. Underneath the layer of dust he could see spots of reddish brown, as if blood had seeped into the wood. His fingers shook as he remembered that no matter how he had tried to wipe the Goban clean, that dirt hadn't came off - not until later when it had faded on it's own, taking Sai with it as it faded and breaking Hikaru's heart in the process…

He swallowed down a sound which was trying to climb up his throat, knowing all too well that it would be a sob. God had heard him and granted him his wish. He had returned to the past.

xx

I'm a bit reluctant, putting this to 'net. Though I've written this a bit already, I'm not sure how far I can continue writing this. I've only just begun writing Hikaru no Go fanfiction and usually the first fics I write for a fandom aren't all that good and end up unfinished. However, I like the idea of this, and I want to hear opinnions of others.

And just a word of caution: this will be AU and Hikaru will be slightly OOC. My apologies for possible errors and please let me what you think.