Whoo!! Alternate ending!!! Ok, so it's just the ending that's 'alternate', but you have to understand that I spent DAYS trying to decide how to end this story, and came up with both of the endings I'm posting. Because I couldn't choose between the two. So here's the second ending. Choose whichever one makes you happier. I'm just glad this whole ordeal is over...

-faints- OH! I'll put a bolded...something or other where the alternate part actaully kicks in so you don't have to re-read everything all over again. I know I probably should have just posted the alternate part, but what fun would that be??? -giggles-

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Why? Why did it hurt so much? None of this should have affected him so much. So what if chibi-chan thought it was a game? That was the point, wasn’t it? It was just another tactic, another angle. There was nothing more to it. So then why did the boy’s words hurt him so much? Why did that obvious denial of any actual emotional attachment bother the homunculus? He’d sworn to never get emotionally involved with anything, both to himself and to Dante. Emotions were weak, were human. And he was neither.

Outside his room he could hear the alchemist shuffling away, no doubt headed downstairs for something. His automail made him significantly louder than Lust, and, hence, made his movements easier to follow. But why was Envy even listening?! He couldn’t have given less of a damn if the boy left! He was here against his will anyway, wasn’t he? They’d kidnapped him. But then he’d agreed to ‘help’ Envy. Bullshit. The alchemist was just appealing to Lust’s human side, was just buying his way to escape.

But chibi-chan had apologized before leaving the shape shifter’s room. Why? What had there been to apologize for? Lying to him? Damn it!! Why did all this happen now?! And Lust had left so there was no one for Envy to take it out on either.

More than a little restless, Envy sat up and stared blankly at the darkened wall across the room. There was a faint mark on it from where the radio had hit. That bastard Mustang. Why did he have to notice chibi-chan’s absence? And worse yet, why did he have to make it public?! That stupid prick had to learn that chibi-chan belonged to the homunculi, not the military. The sooner he did, the better. But perhaps throwing the radio had been overreacting. He’d wound up getting Ed’s attention; something he’d wanted to avoid. After all, Lust had only promised the boy twenty four hours.

Downstairs, Envy heard the faint sound of Ed screaming at no one, shortly followed by the barely audible noise of the radio. What was the chibi thinking? What was bothering him so much? It was probably just the boy debating with his conscience whether or not to leave. Like that was a difficult decision. Yes, humans confused him.

Envy lost interest in the wall and fell back against the bed once again, noting vaguely that the shower had come on. How long had he been here now? How much time had ticked by that he’d simply sat in the dark? How much more would he have to waste before life just went back to normal? He didn’t like any of this. He didn’t like the changes, the betrayal - Lust - or the confusion. Where had his black and white life gone; his simple visions of ‘good’ and ‘evil’? Why was ‘hate’ now a word that confused him? And why did thinking about chibi-chan hurt now?!

Heat welled up at the corners of his eyes, a feeling utterly foreign to the emerald-black haired homunculus. There was a tightening in his throat and chest that he didn’t recognize. And quite suddenly, he felt a slick tear slide down his face. What?! Since when did he cry?! He…he didn’t!! This was wrong!! Yet, he couldn’t seem to control it. It was as if his eyes had taken on an identity of their own, acting out against who he was. No!! He had to stop it, he had to regain who he was! But…just who was he?

The homunculus had spent the last four hundred years disguising himself as others, posing as various people to meet his master’s demands and needs. He’d been men, women, children, fathers, mothers, lovers, leaders and traitors. And in it all, he’d somehow lost who he’d originally been. He couldn’t even remember his own name. The dark hair that obscured his view wasn’t his. The face that stared back at him in any mirror was never truly his own. The only thing that was his, the only thing he’d retained, was his hatred and his strength. His loathing of that man and his strength to carry on. And that was all that had mattered. And suddenly, he was losing both of those things.

“Damn it all!!” he choked out, barely recognizing his own voice through the unwanted tears. “Damn it…”

Succumbing to the fact that he held no control whatsoever over the tears, Envy rolled over, burying his face into a pillow so that he no longer had to feel the damn things on his face. He could feel his body’s rough movements as he sobbed involuntarily and cursed every moment of it. Maybe, if he just let it go, it would stop. Whatever the case, Envy gave up resisting, if only for a short time. The homunculus simply let his mind go, slipping into a state of complete unawareness. At least, until chibi-chan came in.

He hadn’t heard the boy approach. How stupid was he?! But he couldn’t let chibi-chan see this weakness, couldn’t let the alchemist see just how much Envy had been hurt.

Mustering as much of his viscious anger as he could, Envy snapped threateningly, “Get out chibi-chan!”

But Envy’s ears, now tuned in Ed’s direction, didn’t hear the movement he wanted to hear. The shape shifter heard quite the opposite; instead of leaving, chibi-chan was coming closer. No, no, no!! Why now, of all times, did the stupid alchemist decide to get defiant?! No matter what the reason, Envy had to kill this show of weakness. Tensing his muscles, holding his breath, clenching his fists, and internally beating on himself, Envy managed to silence his miserable crying. Hopefully his new, clearly defensive, posture would deter the oddly bold blonde. Unfortunately, he was rudely and unexpectedly surprised yet again.

Chibi-chan had either ignored Envy’s hostile attitude or was entirely blind to it as the younger man had, instead of backing off, laid down beside the homunculus and wrapped his arms about the shape shifter’s waist. Envy panicked. What the hell was going on?! The homunculus flailed, gripping at the sheets beneath him to try and pull himself away. But the alchemist held on, even snuggling in against the clearly agitated other.

“Shh, Envy,” the boy whispered, voice brushing past the shape shifter’s ear, “I want to help you.”

What?! He was lying!! He had to be! Continuing his struggles and desperate attempts to dislodge himself from the other, he snapped angrily, “Shit all you do! Let GO of me!!”

But the surprises kept coming. “No,” chibi-chan answered back simply.

One of two things had to have happened in the past half an hour or so. One, the chibi had gotten significantly braver and his fear of Envy had lessened to practically nothing, or, two, Envy’s threats were getting a hell of a lot weaker. Either way, chibi-chan’s sudden rebelliousness shocked the shape shifter into a sort of submission. He couldn’t bring himself to move, to struggle, to resist any longer. No one had ever held him like that; not since he was a child. The tightening in his chest had returned and he could feel those god forsaken tears building. Damn it all; why?!

Then, slowly, hesitantly, chibi-chan started to talk again. “Envy,” he began softly, “I…I understand now why you are the way you are. I know why you’re afraid, why you want to be alone. But you can’t let one person ruin your life. I know what you’re feeling. Not by any extent is it to the same degree, but I know what it’s like to feel deserted. I was lucky. I had my brother, Winry, practically all of Resembool, and my mom. You had no one, did you? And you’ve lived that way for four hundred years. God…it must have hurt so much…”

The boy’s voice had hitched, caught up by a strangled gasp. And Envy could feel something against the back of his neck, something other than the alchemist’s soft face. It was the same damp warmth that he’d felt stain his own face; Ed was crying. Why? Why didn’t anything make sense anymore?! What was going on?!

But Ed pressed on, apparently not finished with what he was saying just yet. . “I will do anything to end your suffering Envy; do you hear me? I’m not going to leave you, not now, not ever. I…I love you.”

NO! No, no, no!! This couldn’t be happening! That was…there was no way…the boy HAD to be lying!! No one could love a homunculus; they were monstrosities, horrors, creatures whose very existence spawned dissonance. ‘Love’ was something they were incapable of both giving and receiving. This was just some sort of new plot to ‘help’ the shape shifter. And Envy would have none of it.

“Shut up!” he managed to get out, “Shut up!! I don’t want to hear it!!” But despite the shape shifter’s adamant protesting, Envy made no actual move to remove the alchemist anymore. Something deep inside of him refused to let him lose this moment of physical warmth. So he simply became vituperative. “I’m not an idiot chibi-chan!! You were just in here, admitting to me that this was as much a game to you as it was to me. Don’t fuck with me and start saying shit you don’t mean!!”

Those fucking tears had returned again, streaming silently down the homunculus’ androgynous face. His chest heaved to keep them quiet and Envy knew that chibi-chan was fully aware of the other’s emotional state of being. No words could have possibly described just how much Envy hated himself.

However, the alchemist evidently wasn’t satisfied yet; wasn’t going to let this end with Envy’s angered remonstrations. Instead, he continued his attempted consoling, whispering softly, “It’s alright if you don’t believe me. I…I barely believe me. But I’m not lying to you, and I’m not leaving you.”

Silence stretched painfully between them, Ed’s hold on him not once loosening. The only sound in the darkened room was Envy’s own uneven breathing, hitching with his muted sobs. But the lack of interrupting noise allowed the homunculus’ mind to wander over everything that had happened. It wasn’t just this time in the hotel that had thrown his life completely out of sensible order. No; it had all started with his trip to the psychiatrist, with Lust’s insistence that Envy felt something for Edward Elric. And he’d gone with it; he’d played along. All along, Envy had believed he could use these ideas - these implications - to lash out against chibi-chan. But now? Now he was lying, sobbing, in the arms of the very person he’d tried so hard to hurt. His own strategy had been thrown back in his face, had been turned entirely against him. He was the broken one.

Without thinking, Envy’s strangled, wounded voice whispered pathetically, “This wasn’t supposed to happen.”

“I know,” Ed replied, as if Envy had been speaking to him. The alchemist gave a soft, undecided, chuckle. “It’s all so…sudden.”

The homunculus laughed bitterly, finally composing himself enough to pry the chibi’s hands away and sit up. “No,” he snarled acrimoniously, “You don’t know. And don’t ever pretend to know again, ok?” He was still crying, but he didn’t care. He was not just going to lay there like some sort of hurt child; he was not going to give in and let Ed win.

“Envy, that’s not what I meant!” Ed insisted, sitting up alongside the other.

Glaring the other down with shots of visual ice, Envy shot back, “I don’t want to hear it, ok?! You preach all your crap, make your bullshit claims, and say what you want, but I’m not listening anymore! I’m not going to play your game or take your pity any longer.” Swinging his legs off the bed, Envy got to his feet, back turned to the blonde. Something in him couldn’t bear to look at the younger man. “I’m outta here,” he snorted derisively.

The alchemist stumbled up after the shape shifter. “Envy, stop!” he called frantically, “Don’t run out on me! I-I meant every word!!”

“And so did I,” Envy sneered.

However, as the homunculus began to walk out, having had to walk around the bed, chibi-chan grabbed his arm firmly, the resolution to keep the shape shifter there obvious to anyone who looked in the blonde’s large golden eyes. Envy met the determined stare with a violently malicious one of his own. How much more humiliation would he have to suffer before Ed had had enough?!

“Listen to me, please,” chibi-chan begged.

Envy jerked his arm away. “I already told you that I’m not listening to you anymore. Sorry.” Despite the fact that his face itched from the tears and he knew he looked like an emotional train wreck, Envy’s confidence was returning. Perhaps that momentary lapse in strength was all he needed. Whatever the case, he was feeling more like his good old hateful self again.

And yet the alchemist still seemed determined to face the other down, to ‘help’ the homunculus. Ed remained positioned steadfastly between Envy and the door. “I heard what you said,” he retorted, “And I don’t care! I’m not going to let you just walk out of here when I know what’s hurting you; when I know that you’re human under that cold exterior.”

Human?! Lashing out, Envy caught the younger man by the throat, holding on with all the cruelty he could muster without killing the boy. “Don’t ever call me human again,” the shape shifter hissed portentously, “I ceased to be human when I died, and I have no desire to ever start over, got that?” Envy then tossed the boy callously to one side, not bothering to check if he was alright as Ed hit the bed. “Later chibi-chan,” he scoffed mockingly on his way out the door.

Behind him, he heard the alchemist cough harshly in an attempt to regain his normal breathing rate after the winding blow. Envy frowned slightly, but not in discontent as he usually would have. With every step he took away from the darkened bedroom, it felt as if some invisible grip was tightening on his heart. It pained him to leave. But he refused to acknowledge the pain. As far as he was concerned, it was just some left over emotions he’d forgotten to let out. They’d die in time, just as all the others had.

As Envy took his first step down the stairs and towards his freedom, the loud thump of automail on the carpeted floor behind him caught his attention. So, even after all that, chibi-chan was still going to attempt to stop him? How amusing. The boy had guts, Envy would give him that. And his stubborn attitude rivaled the homunculus’. But Envy was cruel without remorse; that was his advantage. Timing the boy’s approach perfectly, Envy spun quickly, planting an effective kick in the middle of the chibi’s chest. Ed fell backwards, his own reflexes allowing him to catch himself and face the smirking shape shifter.

“Still leaving, chibi-chan,” Envy teased, “Sorry.”

Ed glared with frustrated intensity, shooting in retaliation, “No, you aren’t. Not until you let me at least let me try to help you!”

Cocking an eyebrow, Envy straightened himself so he wasn’t facing the other at an angle. “I think I already did let you try, chibi-chan. And you lied to me.” That pain that had been tugging at his chest ripped through him with a new force, bringing back that disgusting sting behind his eyes. Not again…

“I didn’t lie to you!” the alchemist insisted.

The homunculus lost all humor in his stare, his tone deadpan. “Oh? You didn’t?” he asked flatly, “Well then, that’s odd. Because I could have sworn you told me two completely contradictory things.”

Ed’s face flushed horribly, the blonde having been reduced to pitiful stammering at the blunt accusation.

Smiling in cynical triumph, Envy once again turned his back on the other and began walking down the stairs. The pain that plagued him now was an underlying, yet constant, drumming in his chest. But it was something he could ignore, something he’d learned to ignore. And as he reached the hotel room door, he paused, calling over his shoulder, “You got lucky, chibi-chan. But we’ll be back, and much less accommodating next time.”

The door closed heavily behind him, but he paid it no mind. It was time to get back to the mansion. No doubt Dante would be on her way home soon - likely within the next day or so - and she would be angry enough with the missing alchemist. If Envy was to be missing as well, she’d draw another one of her crazed conclusions and have him hunted down. It was safer for him to return home; not that safety ever really concerned him.

Envy stared blindly at the elevator dial, the arrow moving, unnoticed, towards the number which represented the floor he was on. It was over, all of it. He’d ended the ordeal by storming out, leaving chibi-chan in a giant hotel room on his own. A plan that had seemed so perfect had turned out to be the biggest mistake of his life. It had uncovered emotions and pain the homunculus had thought he’d successfully buried. And it had lasted for several days before he’d realized it. Damn his stupidity. But now it was over; he no longer had to worry about any of it. His life would get back on track, things returning to normal. They’d go back to hunting chibi-chan in an attempt to force him to create the Philosopher’s Stone and the alchemist would go back to defying them to his last breath. That’s how things were supposed to be.

A subtle ding caught Envy’s attention as the elevator arrived and he padded silently into the oversized box. He clicked the button for the ground floor and waited for the large metal doors to slide shut. As they closed, the shape shifter noted the door to the hotel room he had just left swinging open. So chibi-chan was still coming after him. Good luck to him.

The elevator began its slow descent, its passenger leaning heavily against the far wall. Just how much effort would chibi-chan put into following the shape shifter? And why did the blonde care so much? It’s not like he actually meant it when he said…that, did he? Envy felt an unfamiliar heat on his face. He was blushing. He saw it in his reflection in the polished metal doors. But…if Ed had meant it, then why had he lied? Why was he always so cold? And then it hit the homunculus like a block of lead. He’d been the cold one. Chibi-chan had reached out to him, had confessed to him, had fought him simply for the right to be with him. And Envy had jerked away from him like the boy was some sort of disease. The shape shifter felt a distinct sinking in his stomach and it wasn’t from the elevator coming to a stop - which it had.

“No!” he scolded himself, as he walked into the main lobby, “He wants you to think this crap! It’s all part of his stupid little game. Just ignore it.” Envy couldn’t help but laugh at himself for having even considered that the alchemist had meant it. For what felt like the hundredth time that evening, the homunculus reminded himself grimly that his kind couldn’t be loved. No doubt the alchemist had simply been making his escape before other homunculi showed up to take him away again.

Once again, as he made his way through the overly ornate entryway, people stared. He smiled brazenly at them, throwing the occasional obscene gesture in the mix. It’s not like he gave a damn about what these humans thought of him. If he had his way, they’d all be dead anyway. But now was not a time to test his luck with Dante. It was best he just head home. Apparently, though, the desk clerk had been told otherwise.

“Sir?” he quipped cautiously, “Um…Sir?”

Envy sighed heavily and turned reluctantly towards the suit behind the desk. He was a young man, probably in his mid-twenties, with wavy brown hair, bright green eyes, and olive skin. Not bad. Envy would have to keep that appearance in mind for one of his next disguises. But no matter how good the guy looked, Envy wasn’t exactly in the mood for unwanted distractions.

Tilting his head expectantly, Envy demanded frostily, “What is it?”

Clearly, the clerk was nervous. Just what was on this kid’s mind?? “Well, sir,” he stammered, “Th-the woman you came in with earlier? She left specific instructions that we not let you leave until she’s returned.”

Was that so? Lust thought some spineless human boy was going to keep him here? She’d lost her mind. Shrugging indifferently, Envy replied, “Too bad for her. I’m not staying. Other engagements.”

“Sir, please,” the man implored.

But Envy simply raised a silencing hand as he turned away and continued to walk out. Unfortunately, the homunculus hadn’t counted on the boy to call for security. The shape shifter was met by two rather large, but well dressed, men at the doors. His violet eyes flicked over each of them separately. They looked like they’d been cut from the same ridiculous mold. Both had massively broad shoulders, heads that looked too small for their oversized torsos, fists big enough to crush a child’s head, and dark shades. Huh…they really wanted to keep him here.

One of the burly men - the one with his mammoth arms crossed across his chest - looked down on the lithe homunculus, snarling out, “You should return to your room now sir.”

“Is that so?” Envy asked impetuously. “I’d really rather not. As I’ve already said; other engagements.”

“They’ll have to wait sir,” the second guard responded calmly, clearly not threatened in the least.

Envy frowned. Of course they weren’t afraid of him. He wasn’t exactly an imposing person to someone who had never dealt with him. Lust had obviously been under the impression that Envy wouldn’t be willing to make a scene and would simply slink back to the room. Well, she was wrong. He didn’t give a damn. After all, who was going to stop him?

Scratching at his head absently, Envy muttered, “Well, if that’s how it’s going to be…” A viscious smile flashed across his pretty face and with one graceful sweep of his leg, he’d knocked the first guard down. As the large man fell, the acrobatic shape shifter hopped off his broad shoulders, giving him enough height and leverage to land a solid kick against the other’s face. However, the first one had merely knocked down, and grabbed Envy’s left ankle. Eyes flashing dangerously, Envy used his other foot to kick the large man mercilessly in the chin, smiling sadistically at the sound the man’s head made as it hit the stone floor. However, even in the oddly comforting afterglow of his swift victory, the homunculus noted that the clerk had panicked and gone for the phone. It was time for Envy to leave.

However, as he picked his way graciously over the guards’ bodies, he heard chibi-chan’s frantic voice. “Envy, wait!!!”

No, not this time. Ignoring the call, Envy bolted into the street, quickly changing form to look like his favored ‘Eric’. There were very few people on the street, but there were enough for him to slip into and disappear. As he slowed his pace to a more casual walking speed, occasionally acknowledging this or that person he passed, he heard the sound of police sirens in the distance. Well, this would probably make a paper or two. Not that it really mattered. Sure, Dante and Lust would probably blow a gasket or two, but it wouldn’t last. The military would most likely be on high ‘homunculus’ alert or something, but Pride would see that that gets blown over soon enough. In all reality, it was pretty minor.

Behind him, he heard some sort of ruckus in the small evening crowd. Whatever. It was more than likely just some drunk causing trouble. It didn’t matter to him. The bastard wasn’t bothering the homunculus. Or so he thought. Suddenly, he found his arm being grabbed, flet himself being turned against his will. He resisted the urge to throw whoever it was through the nearest window, as he was trying to disguise himself as a typical Central citizen. But he found himself staring at Ed. Shit…

The alchemist was breathing heavily, no doubt having run after the shape shifter in order to catch up. His large eyes still held that unnerving determination that Envy couldn’t interpret, and there was a small smile playing on his lips.

“You should have picked a different disguise,” chibi-chan teased softly, barely audible over the muted conversation of the crowd moving around them.

Envy smiled sarcastically. “I didn’t expect you to follow me,” he replied.

Moving his hand from Envy’s arm to the shape shifter’s hand, Ed asked with oddly sincere courtesy, “Can I talk to you?”

“I already said no, chibi-chan,” Envy scoffed, refusing to meet the other’s gaze any longer. It pained the homunculus too much to see that sincerity directed at him, to see that concern for his feelings.

Ed tightened his grip on Envy’s hand, pulling the older man in closer. “Please, just ten minutes.”

The heat was on Envy’s face again and he hated it. Chibi-chan had never been so publicly affectionate before and it bothered Envy. The boy was obviously desperate to say whatever it was he wanted to say. Giving in, Envy snorted, “Fine. But only ten minutes.” What could it hurt to hear the alchemist out?

Smiling, Ed kept his hold on Envy’s hand and led the other man to a nearby café. Lucky for them it was open late. The blonde ordered both of them a coffee simply to get the waiter out of their way. It was apparent the boy had no interest in the beverage whatsoever. His focus was fixed entirely on the disguised homunculus.

“Can’t you drop that?” Ed asked, frowning slightly.

Envy raised a cynical eyebrow. “After that scene I caused in the hotel? No.”

Sighing, Ed nodded his understanding. “I guess that makes sense,” he muttered, “But you brought that upon yourself.”

“I did not!” Envy shot defensively, “Lust did. Her and her stupid secret deals with people. I’m so sick of her right now!!” Taking a deep drink of his coffee, Envy then asked, “Now what did you want?”

Ed’s face flushed slightly and he turned his eyes to the dark liquid in the cup before him. “I-I’m sorry,” he started, “I didn’t mean to hurt you back there. And I never meant to mislead you. I…I really do want to help you, Envy.”

“I don’t want your help,” Envy shot back almost too quickly. “Besides,” he attempted to clarify, “There’s nothing I need help with.”

The alchemist looked hurt, but only for a brief moment. “O-of course,” chibi-chan mumbled, “I-I should have known.” He lifted his eyes again, meeting Envy’s stare and disarming the homunculus. “I meant it; when I said I loved you?”

Standing up quickly, his chair scraping the floor as he pushed it backwards, Envy hissed under his breath, “Stop saying that. You don’t love me; you want me. There’s a difference, chibi-chan. They’re called hormones, and they’re responsible for the way you ‘feel’.” The shape shifter smiled darkly at the almost horrified look on the boy’s face. “That’s right,” he sneered, “You get it now, don’t you? Somehow, I don’t think you’ll need the last seven minutes.”

“Envy, don’t walk out on me again!” Ed’s voice was a mixture of pain and frustration as he, too, got to his feet. “I’m sick of you running away!”

Envy turned around and glared at the younger man. “I’m not running from anything chibi-chan. I’m sparing your life.” By now the two of them had drawn attention to themselves, and Envy cursed his luck. He made a mental note to never go to a café again. Turning his back on the alchemist, Envy added, “Thanks for the coffee, chibi-chan, but I really do have other places to be.”

Once again, the homunculus heard the other move to follow him, heard the blonde’s determined footsteps. Oh, for the love of God!!

“WOULD YOU STOP FOLLOWING ME?!” Envy snapped, spinning violently around.

The blonde stumbled backwards, caught off guard by the other’s outburst. And, spurred on by Ed’s stunned silence, Envy pressed on.

“I am sick and tired of dealing with you, ok?! I don’t want to do this anymore!! In the past three days, my life has become more fucked up then it ever has been before, and it’s all because of you!! So just, get out of my face, ok? Just…just…fuck off!” And with that heated demand, Envy turned and practically ran from the café, dodging back into the evening crowd. He didn’t bother changing appearances, he didn’t care enough. But something in him ached horribly, like a horrible twisting that would rip every fiber of his being into tiny shreds. But he refused to think on it, refused to acknowledge it. For all he cared, it didn’t even exist.

Once he was a fair way down the street, Envy hailed a taxi, muttering absently for the driver to take him to the derelict end of town. And, just like every time before, the human looked at him oddly, only to be dissuaded from such a thing when Envy shoved the wad of cash towards him. As a consequence, the driver got Envy to his destination in very little time, no doubt violating who knew how many traffic laws. What did Envy care? Shoving more cash in the human’s direction, Envy stepped out of the cab and waved the man off. The shape shifter could see the large black sillhouette of the church and his feet made their way mechanically toward the place he called ‘home’.

He reached the mansion easily enough, his mind empty the entire time. He didn’t even notice Sloth as he walked past her, her soft voice not able to panetrate his wall of flustered thought. It wasn’t until she lay her hand on his fleeing shoulder that he even realized she was there. And even then, he was expecting someone much different.

“I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO…” But Envy managed to cut himself off as he found himself staring into Sloth’s placid face.

She raised an eyebrow and smiled faintly. “Have a bad day, dear?”

Envy sighed heavily and massaged the bridge of his nose. God his head hurt. “Sorry about that,” he muttered, “I’m a little edgy right now.”

Taking Envy’s hand in her own, she led him to the mansion’s main sitting room and had him sit with her. Sloth stared at him with open concern, keeping his hand in her own. “Did you want to talk about it dear?” she asked softly.

“No!” he shot angrily, pulling away. Why had he even let her bring him this far? Shaking his head in vague confusion, he elaborated, “I’m tired, ok? I just want to get some sleep.”

Sloth looked at him, but gave no rebuttal. Something in the way she stared scared him. Just what did she see? The shape shifter was afraid to know.

However, as he walked promptly out of the sitting room, he found himself faced with Lust. And, as he’d expected, she didn’t look too thrilled to see him there. But he wasn’t going to give her time to say anything, to ruin things more than they already had been. He simply continued walking, brushing coldly past her, knocking her hand away as she reached for him.

“Envy!” Lust called after him, “Come back here!”

He didn’t even glance back over his shoulder. He didn’t want to see her, to talk to her, to be near her. He just wanted to be alone. He made his way to his room well enough, Lust apparently not caring enough to follow after him. And as he opened his door, he found yet another distraction; his cat. And as he laid eyes on the animal, remembered just how much he’d put himself through, Envy broke down again, the tears flowing uncontrollably as he sank to the floor.

---

Several weeks passed before Envy was to see his chibi again. Dante had returned the day after Envy’s miserable arrival from the hotel and had been furious at ‘her’ alchemist’s disappearance. Lust had been dragged away for questioning, Envy receiving a ‘talk’ of his own. But her fury was short lived. After just over a day of her rants, screams, and general abuse, life returned to some semblence of normality. The homunculi had been given various individual assignments, all of which would lead in some way or another to their ultimate goal. None of them had once brought up the visit to the psychiatrist, nor had Lust ever spoken of the hotel. Meanwhile, Envy had rid himself of the kitten, not having been able to bear its presence any longer.

It was day twenty eight when Dante had called Envy to her, claiming to have a ‘special’ assignment for him.

“As you know, the Philosopher’s Stone has been created,” the master of the homunculi stated calmly, taking a dainty sip of her tea. “And seeing as you so openly defied my order’s to go north, you might as well make yourself useful and retrieve it.”

Envy frowned slightly. “Isn’t that what Sloth went to do?” And Wrath had gone after her too. What did they need him for?

The woman sighed patiently, setting the mostly empty china cup on the table. “True, but I guess Lust has turned against us. You know her well enough to deal with it.” A dark smile played across Dante’s youthful face, twisting its general innocence into something almost disgustingly sinister. “Besides, Fullmetal’s there. And last time we talked, I was sure you’d wanted to hurt him.”

He’d figured as much. He wasn’t stupid. And he wouldn’t argue the point any further. After all, that‘s exactly what he‘d said. When she’d told him - after explaining his absense - that the Elric brothers had finally obtained the stone, all Envy could think was how good it would feel to take it away from them. How good it would be to finally watch the pain in chibi-chan’s face, to finally know that the pain he’d suffered all those weeks ago was returned. So he bowed habitually on his way out, easily taking the form of Ed’s beloved ‘Winry’. What better way to hurt him then as his precious girlfriend?

Already well aware of where Sloth, Lust, and Wrath had tracked the boys to be, Envy easily made his way there. It was mid-afternoon as he arrived, and, apparently, things were just wrapping up. Envy took it upon himself to remain hidden behind one of the old building’s many concrete pillars and simply watch the events unfold.

Sloth had been transmuted into something that clearly wasn’t good for her, Wrath was injured from getting too close, Lust was nowhere to be seen, and the Elrics simply stood there, staring stupidly at the homunculus that was once their mother. And then she was gone, having evaporated in the room temperature environment, Wrath breaking into hysterical tears. Well, now was as good a time as any.

“Ed? Al?” Envy’s voice was painfully unfamiliar to him. He’d never actually met the girl, simply seen her, made note of her. Now he had to pretend to be her.

The two boys spun around in shocked amazement. All things considered, their friend shouldn’t have been there.

“Winry?” Ed muttered.

Al seemed a tad more frantic about it. “What’s wrong?” the younger brother asked, “Did something happen in the village?”

Shaking his head to reassure the worried suit of armor, Envy corrected, “I was worried, so I came.” Then he smiled faintly, sadly. “You finally beat her.”

Apparently, that had blown his cover. “You’re not Winry,” chibi-chan growled, shoulders tensing. Someone wasn’t happy to see him.

The younger Elric acted on his brother’s accusation, moving towards the shape shifter. Envy had to think fast.

Saying the first thing that came to mind, Envy called out with forced emotion, “Al, please, I love you!”

That halted the boy in his tracks, giving Envy just the opening he was looking for. Moving swiftly forward, he twisted the large body’s arm behind it and pushed the boy forward, forcing him into submission. Ed scoffed in frustration, but was clearly too afraid to make a move while the homunculus had his brother hostage.

“This is where it ends,” Envy sneered, enjoying the look of utter defeat on his chibi’s face. Yes, that’s right, hurt like you made me hurt.

“It’s pointless,” Al retorted, cutting into Envy’s bitter memories, “I’m the Philosopher’s Stone.”

A mocking smile spread across the shape shifter’s face. “What did you say?” he derided, shifting back to his own appearance, “Then you won’t mind if I try something?” Flexing his hand threateningly, Envy added, “I wonder if you’ll be ok if I break this.” And reaching into the armour’s hollow torso, Envy struck violently at the blood seal, feeling it cave under his strength.

The younger boy gasped, Ed panicked. “Stop it!!” chibi-chan cried hysterically, “Don’t touch Al!!”

But the terror was unfounded. The younger Elric was fine; Envy had expected as much. Derisive smile still firmly in place, Envy ridiculed, “You don’t have to worry. I’m only taking him to that person’s place after all.”

“That person…” Al mumbled in mild confusion.

On the contrary, chibi-chan knew exactly what Envy was talking about. Clever boy. “The one that Lust was talking about,” the blonde growled, “The one controlling all of you! The person who was looking for the stone in order to become immortal.”

Oh this was too good. Chibi-chan was making this too easy. “I dunno,” Envy teased, “But let’s just say that you aren’t completely unrelated.”

The shock that passed over the boy’s face, that moment of realization and pain, brought cynical pleasure to the homunculus. He was finally getting the revenge he’d so longed for. Yet that wasn’t all he felt. His joy was chased by a horrid aftertaste; something like the pain he’d thought he’d forgotten, the pain he’d suffered that night at the hotel. No! He couldn’t lose face now. After all, chibi-chan was talking again.

“Could it be that the one controlling you took mom as one of his associates on purpose?” the small alchemist snarled dangerously, “That man is…”

“It can’t be!!” Al had decided to cut in, obviously uncomfortable with whatever Edward was implying. “Father would never do such a thing!!”

Envy felt a blow hit those same emotions yet again. So they were talking about him. Well, whatever worked. As long as chibi-chan suffered. But Envy had no desire to stick around any longer. Hefting Al’s large body onto his shoulder, he smiled, “Now, let’s go.”

Wrath, apparently, had different plans. Lunging forward, the smaller homunculus latched onto Envy’s leg, preventing his exit. What was it now?!

“Hey, hey!” Envy managed, “You’re aiming at the wrong guy! Hold him back.” He gestured towards Ed with a nod of his head, hoping that Wrath would get the idea.

But the child was stupid or something, as he held on, pleading desperately, “That guy can do anything!!”

What the hell was he talking about? Chibi-chan? And then Envy understood. Wrath wanted the Philosopher’s Stone. Like hell that was going to happen. “No,” he snorted, “You can’t touch him.”

“If we use him, mommy will come back, right?”

That same pain ripped through Envy’s body yet again. Why did Wrath care so much?! Homunculi didn’t have parents! They were solitary creatures, only ever taking solice in the presence of other homunculi, and even then the relationships were strained.

Sickened by the obvious show of weakness and dependence, Envy kicked Wrath away from himself callously. “Stop fooling around!” he snapped, noting that the child landed at chibi-chan’s feet. Let him deal with Wrath.

As he turned and walked away - his good mood over Ed’s pain having died - he heard chibi-chan call after him, shouting for his younger brother. But he also heard his movements stop. Clearly, Wrath had held him back. It was about damn time.

Branches snapped beneath the shape shifter’s burdened weight, the younger Elric cursing and shouting the whole time. Envy paid him no mind. He’d done his job; the Philosopher’s Stone was secured. And he’d even managed to hurt Ed emotionally, just as he’d aimed to do. It was a shame he hadn’t been able to beat the little shit senseless, but Dante had told him only to recover the stone. Chibi-chan could die later. For now, he had to return to the mansion and deliver his package. Why did they have to live so damn far away?!

Several minutes into his walk, he heard the crunching of underbrush behind him. It was probably Wrath, finally attempting to catch up. But if that was the case, then why was he walking so slowly? Turning around, Envy swore violently. It was chibi-chan.

The teenager stood there, leaning heavily on his still flesh leg. Apparently his automail had been damaged at some point, which meant the alchemist had limped all this way. That would certainly explain why he looked so exhausted.

“Are you stupid chibi-chan?” Envy scorned, “I have no reason not to kill you anymore.”

Catching his breath as best he could, Ed said flatly, “I know that. But you have my brother, and I want him back.”

Envy laughed contemptuously. “You think I’ll just hand him over to you?” he asked with a broad, condescending grin, “Fat chance.”

“Envy,” the alchemist mumbled, “I don’t want to have to fight you.”

Glaring coldly, Envy shot back, “No fucking duh. Look at you! You can barely stand. Just turn around and walk away.” Why was he giving chibi-chan the chance to run?? He wanted to kill him, didn’t he?

“Nii-san,” Al piped up, “Y-you should listen to him. You’re in no condition to fight him.”

Ed shook his head defiantly, evidently refusing both of them. “No Al,” he said with firm conviction, “I’m not leaving you here. I’m not leaving either of you.”

What? What was that supposed to mean? Taking a cautious step backwards, Envy tried to remain disdainful. “Whatever, chibi-chan. You can’t keep up with me on that leg of yours.”

But the boy remained undaunted. “Envy, I’m not going to let you run away again,” Ed pressed, “What I did back then…I shouldn’t have let you leave. And now that you have Al…” A heartbreaking smile played on the boy’s lips. “…there’s no way I can let you go.”

Al had fallen silent, no doubt confused as to what his brother was talking about. So chibi-chan hadn’t told his beloved younger brother about their little fiasco. Well, Envy was sure they were both the better for that. But all this talk of those days aroused memories better left forgotten, and Envy couldn’t take it.

Raking his free hand through his emerald-black hair, Envy retaliated, “Well you did let me go, and you did the right thing by it. There’s nothing you could have done then chibi-chan, and there’s nothing you can do now.”

In spite of this verbal rejection, and much to Envy’s surprise, the chibi closed the gap between them fairly quickly and kissed the shape shifter without reserve. The boy was lucky Envy was holding Alphonse the way he was.

(( :D ALTERNATE STARTS NOW!!! ))

Envy groaned and tensed his body, but chibi-chan had wrapped his arms about the other’s waist, preventing escape. Slowly, the boy drew back, leaning his forehead against the homunculus’ chest. Envy wasn’t sure what to think, his mind firing ideas off faster than he could comprehend them. This went against everything Envy knew about the blonde. Chibi-chan didn’t do public displays of affection, certainly not in front of people he knew.

With his arms still locked firmly to Envy’s waist, Ed whispered softly, “I love you, Envy. I did then, and I still do now. Please, don’t do this.”

Envy stared at the top of the boy’s head, vaguely aware of the startled sound his hostage had made. Chibi-chan had said it again. After all this time, and everything Envy had just done to him, the alchemist still made that ridiculous claim. But, then, did that mean…?

“Chibi-chan,” Envy scolded teasingly, “Didn’t we talk about this? You don’t…”

“I do though!” Ed had interrupted, had tightened his grip. “Besides,” he muttered, looking up into Envy’s face, “Since when did you know me better than I do?”

Face flushing slightly, Envy stammered momentarily, not quite sure what to say. So Ed played off of his silence.

“After you left that night, I hated myself. I’d let you walk away. I never should have done that. And you’d disappeared. You never came back; not until today. There were so many things I still wanted to say to you, so much that I thought I could do for you. And now that you’re here again, now that I have this chance, I’m not going to let it slip through my fingers again.” Ed smiled faintly, kissing Envy softly. “I love you.”

Envy shook his head. He was breaking, he could feel it. With every word the other spoke, another part of him gave in. He wanted so badly to believe the boy, but he knew it was a lie. And he had to let that be known. “You can’t love me, chibi-chan,” the shape shifter choked, hating how weak he sounded, “You just…can’t. It’s not possible!”

“They also said I couldn’t get into the military at my age,” Ed pointed out, “Or perform alchemy without a transmutation circle. But I did, and I can.” Kissing Envy for a third time, this time with quite a bit more force, Ed finished, “I don’t believe in the ‘impossible’.”

Every emotional barrier Envy had collapsed. Every defense he’d put in place was shattered. Chibi-chan had broken through, had reached a place in Envy’s very being that he’d thought he’d guarded so well. Envy couldn’t fight any longer, couldn’t resist. Knees trembling, silent tears streaked his face as the homunculus wrapped his free arm about the alchemist’s lithe form, instinctively resting his head on the boy’s shoulder. Envy was scared, lost, confused, but as Edward held him close, whispering soft assurances, he felt that much safer. Maybe, just maybe, he had the chance to be loved after all.

--End--