Disclaimer: Don’t own South Park or Justin Timberlake. There’s a line in here that originally belonged to Michelle Berger, but she can’t fit it into her story ‘Letting in Evil’, so she lent me the line (by the way, you should read it… it’s amazing)

It had been a week since Damien and Pip made up and things couldn’t be better between the two. They were more open with each other than ever before, in more ways than one. There was rarely a time when they weren’t attached at the hips or lips, except for during classes. Everything was just perfect for the two of them. Today, however, Pip had to go to his figure skating lessons, and Damien was banned from the rink because the last time he went to watch, the rink melted. So Damien decided that instead of doing something useful, he would go home, lie down on the couch and watch countless cheesy horror movies. He got to his front door and was about to put the key in the lock, but he heard the unmistakable sound of the song Sexyback. Damien’s eye twitched, and he cautiously opened the door. He searched the main floor, but there was no one there. He then decided to search the basement. He didn’t find anyone, but he did find the carcass of a pony. He then went upstairs, and the music was getting louder every step he took closer to his father’s room. Finally, he opened his father’s door to see Satan and Justin Timberlake on the bed, making out. Damien almost barfed.

“Ew! Dad! What the fuck are you doing with that ugly piece of shit?” Damien exclaimed. Satan sat up and adjusted his shirt.

“But DAAAAAAAAMIEN! He’s bringing Sexy Back!” Satan whined. Justin got up, blushed, and walked out of the room. Damien glared at his dad.

“You promised me that I would have a say in who you dated nowadays. Dad, for the past few weeks you’ve been dating boy-ish looking guys. What the fuck is wrong with you?” Damien asked. Satan sat on the edge of the bed and looked at the floor.

“I don’t know, Damien… but it’s just this girlish charm they have…” Satan started, but was cut off by Damien.

“Dad, have you ever thought about going out with a GIRL?” Damien asked. Satan pondered for a second and then he grinned.

“That’s actually a pretty good idea. My, I haven’t been on a date with a woman since your mother-“

“Who I thought we agreed we wouldn’t talk about anymore.” Damien said with a glare. Satan sighed.

“You know, you’re gonna have to talk about it sooner or later-“ Satan said.

“Well, I heard that Britney’ s looking for another sleazebag husband. Why don’t you call her up?” Damien asked, and then he left the room to go watch countless cheesy horror movies, starting with the Omen.

.o.O.o.

Pip had just finished his skating lessons, and his whole body was completely sore. He walked outside the rink, expecting to see Damien, but sadly, he wasn’t there. Pip was seriously looking forward to a piggyback from Damien. He sighed and walked towards the payphone and dialed a familiar number.

“Hello, I’d like to make a collect call.” Pip said, twisting the cord around his finger.

.o.O.o.

“YO! MIDGET! GET IN THE FUCKING CAR!” Pip’s foster sister, Abigail yelled. Pip groaned and stood up and slowly walked towards the ‘car of doom’, as he called it. Abigail glared and then she began inspecting her perfectly manicured nails.

“HURRY UP ALREADY, YOU STUPID FAG FACE!” Abigail yelled. Pip huffed.

“Stop calling me stupid, stupid!” Pip squeaked quietly. Abigail glared at him.

“Do I LOOK stupid to you?” She asked, with pieces of egg hanging in her hair. Pip shrugged and got in the car, and was hit with the overpowering smell of Fantasy, by Britney Spears. Pip really disliked Abigail… she scared the shit out of everyone, even the son of Satan.

“Where’s your faggy boyfriend, eh? Did he finally dump you, you worthless piece of shit?” Abigail asked. Pip decided just to keep to himself, knowing that if he tried to retort, she would just make everything worse.

“YO! French bastard! I asked you a question!” Abigail exclaimed. Pip groaned and looked out the window. They were a block away from Damien’s house, and Pip just wanted to be with him.

“Abigail, can you just let me off here?” Pip asked quietly. Abigail shook her head.

“No… not until I get an answer.” Abigail stated. Pip started playing with the hem of his shirt nervously. Abigail kept her eyes on the road. If she were to crash the car, she would have to pay to repair it. She didn’t really care what happened to Pip. He could drop dead and she wouldn’t care at all. An awkward silence fell upon the two, so Abigail decided to turn on the radio. The song ‘Gimme More’ by Britney Spears had just begun, and Abigail was singing along at the top of her lungs, completely oblivious to the fact that Pip had just unlocked the passenger door and was holding onto the handle. Finally, Pip pulled the handle and the door opened, so Pip quickly unfastened his seatbelt and jumped out of the car. He tumbled out and fell on his arm. He instantly started crying and he clutched his arm to his chest, which had started bleeding, and he got up and walked to the only safe place he could think of: Damien’s house.

Sorry it took so long to update! I’ve been having writer’s block, and I’ve been uber stressed… but now, I’m extremely, positively HAPPY! Thanks to Michelle Berger (that’s her penname) for the JT line… ILU SWEETIE CAKES! MY BUNNY OF AN AQUARIUS! Heehee!