I don't own Harry Potter.

I own the plot of this fic and if you steal/copy the content of this chapter, it's against the law and your account will get erased if you get caught. Which you will be. I've faithful fans, see. (evil snigger)

God, I am SO sorry for the looong wait! I guess you're used to it by now, eh? As usual, school is killing me, and my flute teacher wanted me to go with him to like a flute-camp or whatever, and now our teachers tell us that it's time to start thinking about college and university and my sister turned seventeen a few weeks ago... So yeah. Oh, and my laptop totally broke down a few weeks ago... Virus and shit. I've been really busy. And don't forget - this aint my only fic. I'm working on two others as well. I'm always late. I thank all of you who stay faithful to me, despite me being a stressed out airhead.

Chapter 16.

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Harry woke up with a gasp, sat up and struggled to get out of the bed, which proved to be more difficult than expected - his sweaty body was twisted in the sheets and they clung to Harry's warm body like restraints. Before Harry had time to panic, he fell out of the bed with a pained 'oof'!

"Ow..." He whined to himself and rubbed his head.

"Another nightmare?" Tom said, somewhat sleepily, and looked over to where Harry sat from his own side of the bed. With a yawn, Tom sat up and inched over to Harry's side to give his young lover a hand. Harry took it with an annoyed expression and heaved himself up from the floor.

"I don't want to talk about it..."

"You don't have to talk," Tom said and put his arm around Harry as the boy lay down next to him again. "You just have to sleep. You'll get sick if you don't sleep."

"I thought vampires were immune to sickness?"

"Right... well, think of it as a figure of speech." The older man was tired - Harry could hear the fatigue in his voice. Great. As if he needed to feel even worse than he already did. Harry turned around in Tom's embrace and snuggled closer to Tom's chest, not really sure if he did it to make Tom content, or if Harry himself needed the comfort - the sense of safeness.

He was really trying his best when they were both awake. He was trying so hard not to seem too stressed out about the whole ordeal. Seriously, Harry should've seen it coming. Vampires fed from humans. Everybody knew that. But ever since his affair with Tom started a few months ago, back at Hogwarts, Harry had been too engulfed by the thought of Voldemort. The sense of not belonging. Thoughts of sex. Not once had the idea occurred to him that he might actually have to bite someone.

Harry felt stupid for not even having thought about it. That's why he tried to seem normal, happy, content. Proud, perhaps. He didn't know if it was working or not. He wasn't sure whether or not Tom was aware of the fact that Harry was close to tears every time they went to bed. He didn't know whether or not someone actually knew that Harry Potter had the urge to throw up each time he thought about what he had done. It wasn't just an urge - Harry had shoved his fingers down his throat just two hours after killing the girl.

And as the tears stained his cheeks, crimson fluids poured out from his gut, through his mouth, down on the ground just outside the castle. Harry remembered it well. How disgusted he was with himself, and how the disgusted feeling increased when he realized that the fluids he forced up from his stomach still tasted like blood - tasted good.

Harry buried his nose into Tom's skin and shut his eyes tightly to calm himself. He could feel how he shuddered a little. Hopefully Tom hadn't noticed. Maybe he was asleep.

"Are you cold?"

Shoot. Apparently not asleep.

"N-no... well, yes."

Harry smiled a little when he could feel the vibrations of Tom's chest when the man laughed. Even though Harry felt like crap, Tom still managed to create small sparks of happiness that lasted for a pretty long time. Sometimes several seconds. Ah, salvation. Had it not been for Tom, Harry might've tried to commit suicide by now. Then again, had it not been for Tom, Harry wouldn't even be a vampire in the first place.

"So how is it then? Would you like me to get you another blanket?"

"Nah..."

A few minutes passed by in silence. Neither of them was asleep. Harry could feel how Tom's presence was too strong for him to be asleep. And Harry... Harry was simply not tired. He was completely exhausted, but he wasn't sleepy. He couldn't sleep, even if he tried. And when he actually managed to fall asleep, he'd wake up just as fast due to the horrific and very vivid nightmares he suffered.

"Harry," Tom spoke suddenly and Harry flinched but tried to relax as the older man's arms tightened around him. "Don't think about it. Try to forget all about it."

Harry didn't answer at first, but curled up closer to Tom. What was he doing? Begging for silent comfort? It didn't work like that, Harry knew that.

"I can't," he finally whispered and he heard how apathetic he sounded. "I see her... all the time. And all her thoughts and memories were burned into my brain and I can't-"

"Shh..." Tom hushed and Harry shuddered as Tom's cool hand travelled down his side and over his backside.

"She was getting married, Tom," Harry whispered miserably. "In January... And she had a baby sister named Jill who was just learning how to walk..." He wasn't crying, although the sorrow and guilt tore at his heart. "I'm a monster."

"Monster? No. You are a vampire. Drinking the blood of humans is what we do to survive. That doesn't make us monsters. We're superior, Harry. Humans slaughter animals every day, all over the world. Does that make them monsters?"

"I suppose not... But humans are different from animals, Tom. There's a difference between a human and a... cow."

"What's the difference? The appearance? The different levels of intellect?" Tom sighed. "If that's the case, humans are cows compared to us. We're a complex species, Harry."

"But... I used to be one of them."

Harry sat up again and leaned his elbows against his knees, as he brought them to his chest. Tom didn't speak or move. Harry turned to look at his lover, who was staring back sternly.

"I can't help it," Harry whispered and rubbed his face with angry hands. "I feel like a beast..."

He got up out of bed and covered his pale body in a robe. "I'm going for a walk," he said and gave Tom a sad smile. "I'll be back soon." Tom didn't reply, and Harry was relieved that he hadn't asked to come along. Harry didn't want company, not even from the person he adored more than anyone.

If only Tom hadn't been a vampire. Then they could've been happily living their lives as ordinary wizards. Well... No. That wouldn't work either. Tom wasn't 'Tom' to everyone else. He was the Dark Lord Voldemort. Harry would probably have to experience death and darkness even if they weren't vampires. There was no escaping the evil, was there? Everywhere he turned now, there was nothing but darkness. The same darkness that had once attracted him enough to get a hard-on. And in more than one way, the darker side of life was indeed beautiful. Exciting. But ugly beneath the surface.

Harry's hand traveled lightly over the stone wall as he walked down the corridor. His eyes were staring but not really seeing the carpet-covered floor.

He knew that he would eventually learn to accept it, to control his emotions... Maybe even come to love this unavoidable blood shed. But right now, he couldn't see it. The beauty. Was it really necessary to kill humans? Why couldn't they just drink the blood of... wolves or bears? Nobody likes them anyway, right?

Humans are cows compared to us...

That wasn't true. Tom made sense, but it still wasn't correct. Humans had minds, they had souls! Unlike cows or other animals, they could feel joy, fear, anger... Love.

If anything, compared to vampires, humans were like cute little bunnies. Or lambs. You can't help but feeling guilty after harming (killing) one of them, even if you're superior and killed the lamb so that you could eat it and survive. The meat doesn't taste good if you eat it knowing what it used to be.

Harry snorted with amusement and stopped in his tracks to glance out the window over the world of the never-ending night. He had never been thinking these kinds of thoughts before. He hadn't been a vegetarian back in his days as human. He never thought about what he was eating - only that it tasted delicious.

Maybe he should try and think of the humans as nothing but kettle? After all, killing humans wasn't exactly something that they did every day, Harry had noticed. Since the last test, Harry hadn't had to drink the blood of a human once. Neither had the other vampires. Maybe human blood was like a rare treat that they only ate once or twice a month? Maybe they didn't even have to kill the poor human to get the blood? Maybe there were humans who volunteered? Harry hoped that that was the case.

In some ways, Harry couldn't wait for his darker self to take over, so that Harry wouldn't have to think about it all the fucking time. Maybe then he'd actually appreciate his new liking for crimson fluids that tasted of iron and salt. And Harry did love the flavor.

"I'll let you in on a secret," someone said and Harry spun around, startled. Nathanael smirked at him before walking up to him and taking a seat on the window ledge.

"A secret?" Harry asked and pulled his robes closer around him, as Nathanael's eyes wandered over him.

"I'm not trying to be all wise and understanding, but I understand how awful you must be feeling." The young vampire prince glanced out the window as Harry stared at him.

"You do?"

Nathanael gave a short laugh.

"Not really... I was never a human. I was born into this," he said and flashed a grin where the sharp fangs were exposed. "But you used to be one of them... were you not? I bet you're feeling like some traitor now, huh?"

Harry didn't reply but grit his teeth. Bull's-eye. Damnit, why were vampires so good at reading him?

"First of all, try to grasp this concept; you're not a human anymore. You're a vampire, and quite a noble one at that. Enjoy it. Humans aren't as innocent as you seem to believe. They cheat, they lie, they hurt each other. I know about the darkness in your heart, but you seem to have forgotten all about it. You should be enjoying this, but I guess you're still a bit too young."

"You're right - you're not very wise at all," Harry muttered and made a move to leave, but Nathanael had somehow managed to move in front of Harry in less than a second, and Harry mentally sighed with annoyance.

"Don't be cheeky," Nathanael said. "That wasn't all of it. I never had to experience the feeling of guilt for eating human beings, but I do know sorrow. A friend of mine, Alphonse Greiger, was human before he turned into a vampire. You know what he had to do during his last test?"

Harry shook his head and watched as Nathanael's features went from arrogant and self-confident, to composed and angry.

"He had to kill his little brother."

Shock filled Harry, and he didn't know what to say. Nathanael gave a smile of anger and sadness.

"I remembered how he begged and pleaded for his brother's life, but Trenton wouldn't budge. Al's 'darker side', as we call it, hadn't kicked in yet. I've never seen anyone cry so hard in my entire life, and I've lived for over two hundred years. The little boy couldn't have been older than ten human years. And he kept telling Alphonse that it was okay and that he knew that Alphonse wouldn't be happy if he kept living as a human. That kid was way too wise for his age. Humans are scary that way."

"Is this supposed to calm me?" Harry whispered. Nathanael sighed and leaned against the wall.

"I guess not, but about the little secret I wanted to share with you - I've lived as a vampire my entire life but I've only killed three humans so far. The first one was because I had to do the tests as well, even though I'm royalty. Pretty unnecessary if you ask me - I don't feel sympathy for humans since I don't understand them. The second was because he was trying to kill me and the third, whom I killed eight years ago, I killed because I was lost in the streets of London, and I was starving. He was a badass criminal, by the way. I figured no one would miss him."

Harry gave a quick smile at the arrogant prince.

"You're strangely kind for someone who happens to be the son of Dracula."

Nathanael made a face.

"Not really. Ever since I was little, my father taught me to respect the humans, even though they mean fairly little to us. That's the one and only reason."

"I'm sure."

"Look, what I'm trying to say, is that you don't have to feel obliged to love it. At least not yet. I mean, you've been a vampire for barely three weeks. And if you really hate it, you won't have to kill humans. Especially with your status. You're practically royalty, being a vampira magika and all that. Tom has the status of a duke in this house, and so do you. You can choose to eat whatever you want. Drink the blood of pigs if that suits you better."

Harry frowned at Nathanael who was quickly turning back to his old smug self. The prince pushed away from the wall and turned around to walk away.

"Oh, and another thing," Nathanael turned his head to face Harry and gave the younger vampire a semi-soft smile. "Tom is trying very hard to make you feel comfortable. Don't forget that. Let him comfort you when you're weak. I assure you, no one loves you as much as he does."

The next second, Nathanael had vanished and left a gaping Harry behind. The words caused a sudden urge to see his older lover and Harry immediately turned on his heels and ran back to their room, feeling strangely relieved. Even though Nathanael's 'pep-talk' wasn't exactly as comforting as it probably was meant to be, Harry felt almost happy.

Harry was a vampire now. Instead of complaining, he'd simply have to make the best of it. And, as Nathanael explained, Harry didn't have to kill another human being for as long as he lived. Humans killed other humans, too. And for no proper reason. At least vampires had a reason to kill. A small smile made its way to Harry's face. He'd manage. He'd learn to accept his new life-style. His dark side would kick in eventually, but it wouldn't eat him up. It'd simply help him see things differently.

This was what Harry was now. And he would come to love it. Harry was sure of it.

"Tom?" Harry whispered as he approached the bed where Tom was sleeping. Or not sleeping. Tom stared at him as Harry tip-toed to the bed and climbed into it. Without words, Harry crawled under the blanket and placed himself against Tom's luke-warm skin and delightful scent. He took a deep breath and as he released it, he could feel a new sense of calm overcome him. He buried his head under Tom's chin and kissed the skin there.

"Feeling better?" Tom whispered, sounding a little surprised. Harry nodded against him.

"Yeah. Sorry for my childish reaction. I should've known what was coming..."

"Maybe..." Tom agreed and put his arm around Harry's slimmer body. "But almost everyone has that kind of reaction. At least the ones who used to be human."

"Did you feel like this?" Harry whispered. Tom sighed against his hair.

"If you're wondering whether or not I felt like a horrible monster who didn't deserve to live, then no. I wasn't very fond of the human race, even back when I was still one of them. But the test was hard on me, too. I learned to adjust. And these days, I never think of it as something awful that they forced me to do. It was simply the best way for me to see things in black and white. Vampires drink blood. That's the way it is."

"... Yes." Harry smiled a little. "I know you were trying to let me skip the final test. I heard you talking to Trenton."

Tom didn't say anything, but Harry could feel how the slim fingers lightly brushed his back. Harry turned his head a little to get a better view of Tom, who wasn't looking at him, but at the ceiling. Harry kissed the sharp jaw-line.

"Thank you." Tom still didn't reply, but the hand started to travel south. Harry shuddered and didn't do anything to stop it. It felt good. Having his body adored...

"Ha-ah!" Harry squirmed against the muscular body as the hand massaged his buttocks and slipped inside the black boxers that Harry wore. Harry's face burned and he could feel his pulse starting to pick up speed. It struck him that he and Tom hadn't done anything, anything at all, since the day before the final test. Which was two weeks ago. Harry had been too stressed out and depressed, and Tom had probably sensed it.

"You've starved me for far too long," Tom said darkly and pulled Harry closer, making their crotches clash. Harry gasped and bucked his hips without thinking. His trembling hands went up to grasp at Tom's chest. God, this was good. Harry spread his legs a little, as Tom pulled his underwear off.

"Then...are you going to punish me?" Harry whispered and added a playful smirk. Tom smirked back.

"Oh, yes."

Harry moaned as Tom, who was already nude, turned them around, so that Harry's back was pressed into the mattress, with Tom hovering above, giving him a passionate, sensual glare. He grabbed Harry's knees and spread the legs further apart. Then he started thrusting against Harry slowly, teasing the boy, only to see his reactions. Harry bit his lip as he felt his straining erection press against Tom's flat stomach.

"Tom... You're... Ah!"

Tom snickered darkly, turning Harry on even more. He shut his eyes, as Tom sped his thrusts up.

"Apparently, your body has missed this as much as I have. Already whimpering and... begging," Tom whispered and nibbled at Harry's earlobe. The boy beneath him started to pant in his excitement. He loved it when Tom acted this way. This semi-cruel, dominant way...leaving Harry breathless, teasing him... It was delicious. Everything around them was so quiet, and yet Harry was about to go deaf from his heartbeats thumping loudly in his ear, his own moans and their heavy breathing, all mixing together.

"Fuck me," Harry panted and spread his legs wider. "Tom...put it inside..."

"Eager tonight... You want to have my cock inside?"

Harry nodded and moaned when Tom's hair fell around them and tickled his chest and shoulders.

"You're so slutty, Harry... Like a whore..." Tom sniggered and reached in between them to tease the quivering hole of Harry, who gasped at this and gave Tom a desire-filled look. When a finger slipped inside, Harry's back arched and the hips immediately pushed down to take in more than just the fingertip. Tom smirked and leaned closer to Harry to nip at the teenager's nipples.

"N-not just the... ah... Hah! Tom... Not just a finger...!"

"Then how about two?"

Harry knew he sounded like a whore, but he couldn't stop the flow of pleasured moans as Tom inserted a second finger and stretched him. It hurt a little, but in a most delicious way. Tom could see the pleasure written on Harry's entire body, from the blushing face, to the arching back, to the trembling, slim legs. Harry was starting to drip, as excited as he was, and his hand tried to grab himself, but Tom slapped it away. Harry whined.

"I want you... to..."

"You want me to fuck you?"

"Yeah," Harry moaned, and felt the shame mix with the pleasure as his hips started thrusting against Tom's fingers. Tom gave a dark leer and leaned in to Harry's face where he gave the lips a soft kiss. It would've been sweet, if Tom had not at the same time added a third finger, making the boy quiver in pleasure.

"Such a good boy," Tom sniggered and Harry started to feel annoyed. He glared at Tom, but his angry look was quickly replaced by one of utter pleasure. His mouth fell open as his head was thrown back. Tom thrust inside of him, slowly, painfully, sweetly, until he was fully hidden inside of Harry.

"Aren't you going to say 'thank you'?" Tom asked and started thrusting slowly. Harry, who was still shaking from the shock and the pleasure, eagerly nodded and craned his neck, offering himself to Tom for the second time. Tom licked the fine skin, as his thrusts picked up speed. Harry's body was blushing, hot... Tom hadn't even hit that special spot yet, and still it felt so incredibly good, Harry could barely even form words.

It wasn't until Tom's strong hands grabbed Harry's hips and started fucking him for real that Harry started thrusting back, and as the spot was finally hit, Harry almost screamed out.

"There! Oh, fuck... Again! Don't stop!"

Tom flipped them around, and suddenly Harry was the one sitting on the older man's stomach, again. Harry, now knowing what to do, started riding the man in a fast rhythm. Tom's hands were still holding onto Harry's hips, steadying the younger vampire as said boy placed his hands on Tom's chest for support.

"Touch me!" Harry panted, and hissed when Tom's hand grabbed his member and started pumping. "Shit! No, wait... Stop it... You're gonna make me cum too fast!"

"I'll make you cum twice," was Tom's reply and Harry opened his eyes to stare at him. His hips weren't obeying him anymore, and kept thrusting desperately against Tom, thirsty for more pleasure, and the hand on Harry's swollen member kept massaging, pumping him, hard and fast. And Harry was starting to see white.

"Tom! Fa-ster... Ah... I'm...! I'm going to...!"

"Cum."

Harry let out a yell as he was milked, and his hips were getting erratic, thrusting and grinding against Tom as hard as he could, before slowing down. Tom turned them over again and licked his fingers before turning to look at Harry, who was still panting heavily. He smirked at him and started thrusting into Harry again. Harry gasped and gave a semi-pained look.

"Tom... It won't work... I-" He abruptly stopped speaking, as Tom's teeth suddenly sunk into his neck. Adrenaline made Harry feel dizzy, and he could feel how Tom sucked the blood out and swallowed it. And he grew hard again. The thrusts Tom gave suddenly stopped hurting, and Harry's legs spread wider on their own accord. "... Harder!"

A few minutes of moaning, wild thrusting and general dizziness followed. Harry clawed at Tom's back, gripped his long hair and pulled him closer, more or less forcing Tom to drink more of his blood. Soon, Tom's thrusts got irregular, erratic and when the man released Harry's sore neck to put his hands on each side of Harry's head to support his body-weight as he gave those last, powerful thrusts, Tom looked absolutely gorgeous. Harry noticed, in his foggy, dazed state of mind, that when the sweat dribbled down Tom's face, and when the muscles and veins were bulging out, he looked perfect.

And then there was heat and wetness and Harry came all over himself, for the second time that night. His hips gave a few willing but tired thrusts against Tom, even after the orgasm had ended. And that's when Tom leaned in, to lick at Harry's wound, and to embrace Harry a bit harder than before, and to kiss his neck and his jaw, and his lips. They were tired, spent, satisfied. The kisses were sloppy but sweeter than wine. Tom was still inside, and Harry didn't mind.

When the daze had left them, Tom slipped out, carefully, and placed himself next to Harry, who hissed a little as he brought his legs back together. Nude and sweaty as they were, they slept. Tom with his arm thrown over Harry's side, and Harry crawled up against the man. They had made a mess. Not that they cared about the stains on their sheets, or the pillows they had pushed off of the bed. They could deal with that tomorrow.

Harry didn't have any more nightmares.

tbc.

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Sorry for the wait. I hope you enjoyed this chapter! :) Harry has finally started accepting his nature. The next chapter will be less angsty. His darker side will start to activate, and there will also be some Blaise-Draco-plot. I haven't forgot about them.

I realize this chapter was a strange mix of dark angst and fuzzy romance. The thing is, I always listen to music when I write. The main part of this chapter, including the first parts of the lemon, was written while I was listening to Korn and Marilyn Manson, and the last parts were written while I was listening to "Broken Wings, Trinity Blood." Beautiful piano-song. You should check them out on youtube or something. I'm happy with the way this chapter came out anyway. Tom is still acting a bit too sweet, but even I, the author, am starting to realize that he actually adores Harry. Even vampires can feel love.

Oh, and also, there's a small surprise for you! There will be a third slash-couple in this fic! And it's gonna be awesome! ^^ You'll learn more about that in the next chapter! Or possibly the chapter after that. Thanks for reading.

Now - REVIEW. Please?