|Forever May Not Be Long Enough
Author: svgurl410 PM
COMPLETE ClarkOliver, mm, slash Clark's graduating and when he finds out he has to go for his training, he has to make some difficult decisions. Please read & review!Rated: Fiction T - English - Romance/Angst - Clark K. & Oliver Q. - Chapters: 14 - Words: 45,164 - Reviews: 52 - Favs: 33 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 10-09-07 - Published: 09-17-07 - Status: Complete - id: 3790583
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
This is the final chapter of the story. It's been a good run and I thank everyone who took the time to read and review. I hope you enjoyed the story and like this last chapter. Let me know what you think:)
Oliver's heart was pounding as he stared at the scene in front of him. No. This wasn't happening. Oh, God, this couldn't be happening. Yes, he knew Clark was cheating but did he have to do it so blatantly?
He had left Oliver the night before and ran into the arms of the other woman, his mistress so to say. Oliver could barely breathe. Clark had made his decision and it wasn't him.
Trying to salvage what was left of his dignity, he said in a cool voice. "Well, doesn't this look cozy?"
Hearing him, Clark and the woman split immediately. Clark's mouth dropped, upon seeing him.
"Oliver," he managed. "What . . . How . . . When?" Those luscious lips Oliver was so fond of kissing was brighter than usual.
As for the other woman, she wasn't looking at him. All he could see was brown hair, slim figure . . . this must be Julia. But he didn't focus on her. He zeroed in on his boyfriend.
"How?" he said mockingly, "Well, luckily, I, or Chloe anyway, GPS'd your cell phone. When? Just now. As for what, I think you know."
All his hurt, all his pain, he was channeling into anger. Clark was staring at him, eyes wide.
"Well?" Oliver demanded. "Don't you have anything to say for yourself?" He sneered, though inside, he was dying.
Clark was silent and Oliver shook his head. "I don't know why I bother."
He turned on his heel and stormed out, taking the steps two are a time. Once he made it to his car, he took off, hitting over 90 miles an hour the entire way. How he made it home without getting into an accident or getting caught by a cop, he didn't know but somehow, he managed.
Only when he entered the penthouse did the reality of the situation hit him. All his anger died on the spot, replaced by a mind numbing pain.
His head was spinning and he stumbled to his bedroom. The room was still decorated, decorations that had filled him with giddiness when he was setting them up, but now looking at the candles and the black satin bed sheets made him sick.
Crawling on the bed, he rested his head on the pillow. Staring at the picture of Clark on the dresser, his heart ached.
Why, Clark, why did you do this to me?
On the farm, Chloe and Clark were sitting on the couch, solemn.
"You know," Chloe said suddenly, "I bought that wig for Halloween . . . I never got to use it then."
"Well I think it got enough use over the past few days," Clark pointed out. She smiled, but it didn't quite reach her eyes. He couldn't blame her, this was a pretty emotionally exhausting plan they just completed.
Clark had come up with this final stage on his own. He knew if Oliver was to ever accept the fact that he was being cheated on, he'd have to see it. Chloe was shocked but she had agreed to be "Julia". It was a little weird kissing her, as he hadn't been romantically interested in her for a long time, but they had certainly fooled Oliver.
When Oliver had made that phone call, they had both been in the farm, and Clark had been beyond nervous. Chloe had handled it very well though and when she hung up, they knew they were well on their way.
But the biggest part had yet to come. He could hear Oliver driving down but only when he was almost up the stairs did Clark kiss Chloe. I did it, I can't believe I actually did it. He shot a glance at Chloe, both of them quiet, lost in their own thoughts.
"So," Chloe said, breaking the awkward silence.
"So," Clark said, not knowing what to say either. Neither of them mentioned Oliver or what had just taken place, even though it was clear that that was the only thing on their minds.
"I guess this time the mission really is accomplished," Chloe noted softly. And that was all it took to break him.
"Oh God." What he had just done smacked him at full force. "I really did it."
"Clark," Chloe said, putting a hand on his knee but he shook his head furiously. He didn't deserve sympathy or any comfort. Not after he had just destroyed Oliver the way he had.
"Did you see his face?" Clark whispered.
"I did," Chloe admitted. She had been trying not to, too embarrassed that she had partook in this plan. But she had and she saw the devastation that rested in those brown eyes. He had tried to play it off as anger but she could feel his pain. And was disgusted with herself.
"I can't believe we did it," Clark said.
"What now?" Chloe wondered.
"I think our work has been done for us," Clark said. "He's angry . . . it's all a matter of confronting him. Say the right words and it's over."
"The right words?" Chloe echoed.
"Trust me, I can take it from here," Clark said sadly. He glanced at her. "Thank you . . . for all your help. I know how hard this has been and I really appreciate you sticking with me anyway."
"I'll always be here for you, Clark," Chloe told him. "Even if I don't like what you're doing, you're my best friend in the entire world and I'd never abandon you."
He smiled. "Mom is coming home tomorrow . . . we should all definitely spend time together . . . before I go."
"When is she arriving?" Chloe questioned.
"Tomorrow," Clark said.
"What are you going to tell her about you and Oliver?" Chloe asked, sensing his anxiety.
"I have no idea," Clark confessed. "I mean, what am I supposed to tell her?" He sighed. "She's going to end up getting the truth and she won't be happy."
"It's your mom, Clark," Chloe said. "She will be a bit disappointed, I'm sure, but she will understand."
"Yeah," Clark said, standing up. "I guess so." He met Chloe's eyes. "But now, I have somewhere to be . . . I have been stalling long enough."
"You're going to go talk to Oliver?" Chloe wanted to know.
"It's time," Clark said seriously.
"Good luck," Chloe told him.
"I'll need it," Clark agreed. "I'll call you later then?"
"You better," Chloe said. "Or just come see me afterwards."
"I will," Clark promised and he watched her leave. Her car was parked next to the truck and it was so small that Oliver hadn't noticed it. Fortunately, he knew that Oliver would be too set on his path. Otherwise, the blonde was too observant for his own good and would've recognized Chloe's car immediately.
When he saw her drive off, he got prepared to leave as well. He had no idea what he was going to say.
But he knew he couldn't wait any longer. It's time. The moment that he had been planning for was here.
Please don't let me screw it up. Then again, he already had.
Oliver heard Clark come in and stood up. Quickly fixing his hair and straightening his clothes, he made sure he was presentable. No way was he going to look pathetic. No matter how miserable he felt inside.
When he climbed down the stairs, he saw Clark scanning the room intently.
"Looking for something?" he asked coolly, standing at the bottom of the steps, drawing Clark's attention to him.
"I was . . . looking for you," Clark stammered.
"Here I am," Oliver said, his tone unchanging. He took a few steps toward Clark. "I live here and unlike some people, I don't disappear randomly."
"Oliver," Clark tried.
"What Clark?" Oliver interrupted. "Are you here to give me some lame excuse? It wasn't what it looked like? She tripped and her mouth landed on yours?" The sarcasm in his tone was obvious.
"I'm not denying what you saw," Clark said.
"That would be the smart thing to do," Oliver agreed. "Because denying at this moment would be the dumbest choice you could make."
"I didn't mean for you to find out like that," Clark started.
"Oh, but I didn't," Oliver interjected. Seeing Clark's shocked expression, he smirked. "Surprised? You should be. When were you partying it up with your 'friend', Julia, at The Black Rose, did you realize Lois was there too?"
Clark paled and Oliver continued. "No? Well, she was. In fact, she even called me from the club, so shocked she was at what she saw. I had the fortune of running into her the next day. See, she's as bad a liar as you are so getting the info out of her wasn't too difficult. Then, Chloe confirmed that you were indeed good friends with Julia. But it seems you've been hiding from your best friend as well. Done a lot of lying recently, haven't we?"
"Ollie . . ." Clark began but Oliver was quick to cut him off.
"No, you see, you don't get to talk," Oliver hissed, "I gave you plenty of chances to talk. For the past few weeks, I've been begging and pleading for you to open up to me. But did you? No, never, not once. So now I'm going to talk and you're going to listen."
Clark nodded wordlessly.
"Good," Oliver went on. He laughed bitterly. "Do you know, I found out all of this days ago? And yet, I still planned your surprise. Because, foolish me thought that I could win you back. That worked out well."
Clark bit his lip but didn't say anything. His compliance infuriated Oliver further.
"You ran away from me," Oliver said, his fury building and he wasted no effort in hiding his pain. "And straight to her. What did I do wrong Clark? To make you cheat? All I did was love you . . . and you threw my love back in my face."
Clark remained silent. "All right, Clark, speak," Oliver snapped. "I want to know why."
"Ollie, I just . . . I don't know," Clark said, not meeting his eyes.
"I'm always the one asking questions, aren't I?" Oliver commented. "Let's not break the tradition then. When did you meet her and how did this little tryst begin?"
"In class, that part was the truth," Clark answered. "We were friends for months but we became more than just friends a few weeks ago. I mean, she flirted with me and what not but I only did something about it recently." He swallowed hard. "And no, she doesn't know about you."
"This was recent then," Oliver stated. "Why, Clark? What happened to us? Why did you cheat on me?"
"I'm not sure," Clark said.
"Don't give me that bull," Oliver retorted. "You must have had a reason. You said it yourself, you held out for months and then just gave in . . . we were perfect. Why did you have to go to her?"
"We were not perfect," Clark argued.
"YES, we were," Oliver yelled. It took all his willpower not to walk up to Clark and just shake him. Make him see what he was doing, what he was saying.
"How could we be perfect when I was feeling so trapped?" Clark finally exploded.
Oliver was certain his heart stopped beating. He could feel the blood rushing from his face and it was a miracle that he was still standing.
"Trapped?" he managed to choke out.
"Yes, trapped," Clark said. "Why else do you think I cheated? God, Oliver, I needed freedom. You were talking marriage and being together forever . . . I'm 23 years old. I just graduated college and I am still trying to figure out my life . . . how can I give myself to someone when I don't even know who I am?"
"Well, Clark, it's two years too late for that one," Oliver said icily, finding his voice. "In fact, if I recall, you were the one who brought up marriage first. What did you think we were? Just hanging around for two years? If you felt confused, you should've talked to me about it!"
"I tried," Clark said. "Every time I mentioned separation, you went on about how we're going to be together forever. It drove me insane . . ."
"That was your attempt?" Oliver countered. "That was pathetic! You kept asking these vague questions and confusing me . . . how about saying it straightforward? I think I deserve that much, Clark. I've always been honest and upfront with you . . . hence my telling you about my feelings. You're the only one I've ever done this with. And excuse me if I expect the same courtesy from you!"
"Oliver," Clark said, "I just needed my space. I felt like the walls were closing in on me. I was attracted to Julia before and I don't know . . . we were talking and before I knew it, we were kissing."
"So this whole thing is my fault?" Oliver demanded. "For loving you and wanting to be with you? I pushed you to cheat, is that what you're saying?"
"That's not what I'm saying," Clark said. "I just . . . wanted my independence."
"And how does Julia feel about that?" Oliver shot back.
"We're not exclusive or anything," Clark shrugged. "We just . . . got together sometimes."
"Ahh, nice to know," Oliver said sarcastically, his eyes blazing. "I don't know if you remember . . . but we were exclusive. How could you do this to me? I loved you . . . damn it, I still love you. Which is absolutely ridiculous considering the circumstances." He shook his head. "But you just never felt that strongly, did you?"
"Ollie . . ." Clark said, "It wasn't my intention to . . ."
"To what?" Oliver inquired, "To hurt me? You did. I was going to forgive you for the cheating . . . I was willing to work on our relationship . . . get it back to where it was." His voice cracked slightly. "I gave you all of me . . . you were my fucking world, Clark. I would've loved you forever, given you whatever you wanted. And you . . ." Oliver choked. "You tore me apart . . . broke my heart and stamped on the remaining pieces."
The guilt in Clark's eyes was evident. Good, let him feel guilty. He should. Oliver was vengeful. In pain beyond belief but the anger was still there.
"Why are you just standing there Clark?" Oliver taunted. "You wanted your freedom . . . well, now it's yours."
"What are you saying?" Clark asked.
"I'm saying, it's over," Oliver said, his voice surprisingly stable. "This . . . we're over." Two years of my live . . . over. The love I was sure would last forever . . . over. You and me . . . over.
Clark didn't argue, didn't fight. "If that's what you want."
"That's not what I wanted, Clark," Oliver yelled. "I wanted forever . . . this is what you pushed me to. This is all your fault. And I will never forgive you. Don't even try that 'let's be friends' bullshit because that is not going to happen." He took a few calming breaths. "I want you to turn around and walk out that door. Then I never want to see you again."
Clark looked like he had been stricken. Oh, don't even bother Clark, Oliver thought nastily, at this moment, you won't be getting any sympathy from me. The puppy dog look doesn't work anymore.
"I guess you've made up your mind," Clark said.
"I have," Oliver agreed. "And now it's time for you to leave. I can't even look at you right now without screaming. Go, Clark . . . go now before I do something we both regret."
Clark nodded and turned to leave. "I guess I'll come back for my stuff."
"No, I meant it when I said I didn't want to see you again," Oliver said stiffly. "I will send your stuff to the farm." The ones that escape my wrath anyway.
Clark headed to the elevator and shot him one last look before the doors closed. "Bye Oliver."
"Goodbye Clark," Oliver said and watched as the doors closed, taking Clark away from him forever.
Clark was gone . . . the best relationship of his life was now over. He took the glass that was sitting on his desk and smashed it again the wall. Then he proceeded to do the same with every piece of furniture that he could pick up in the room.
In a matter of minutes, whatever could be broken in the room was. Oliver sank to his knees, head in his hands, defeated. I love him . . . and he's gone. The realization hit like a ton of bricks.
That's when the first tear fell.
And the award for the best actor goes to . . . Obviously him. Clark stared at Oliver was the doors closed, taking in every feature, memorizing every inch, knowing that this would be the last time he saw him.
When the doors closed, he pulled out the DVD, composing of his confession. He desperately wanted to tell Oliver the truth and this was the only way he knew how. But he couldn't give it to him. At least not directly. Using his heat vision, he created and opened in the metal walls of the elevator but was careful not to do any damage to the system or set off any alarms.
He hid the DVD in a pocket and melded it back so there was no noticeable difference. Oliver would never find the DVD but Clark felt slightly better having handed it over. Not much but just a little bit.
I did it. He had, he created a plan and it worked out just like it was supposed to. Then why did he feel like such an ass?
Because you are one. You broke the love of your life's heart. Destroyed it. Didn't you hear him? You smashed it into pieces and stepped on it. Those were his words, remember?
How he was able to stand there and act cool when Oliver was self-destructing, he had no idea. It had taken everything he had not to rush to Oliver and take the blonde into his arms, and apologize again and again.
Tears were streaming down his face as he ran back to Smallville. He knew he told Chloe he would go see her but right now, he just didn't want to face anyone.
He made it back to the farm within minutes and was taken aback to hear a noise from within. Approaching the main house slowly, he entered through the kitchen. And gasped.
His mother was standing there, cooking, as if she never left.
She spun around when she heard him. "Clark! Surprise! I'm home early . . . I thought we could spend some time together before you took off on your training and . . ." Her voice trailed off when she took a good look at him. "Clark? Sweetie, what's wrong?"
"Mom," Clark said tearfully. "I screwed up." Martha looked worried and she quickly pulled Clark into her arms. He held onto her, unwilling to let go.
"It's okay, Clark," she said softly, "Whatever it is, it will be okay. We'll get through this together. I promise."
No, it won't . . . if you only knew, Mom. If you only knew what I did. Then you'd realize too . . . realize that it won't be okay. Nothing will ever be okay again.
On the other side of town, Chloe watched her phone. Call me, Clark . . . I need to know what happened. She was pretty sure of what happened. This plan was foolproof . . . unless Clark cracked, she knew that they had probably broken up.
Why did it have to be this way? Chloe stared at the phone, which was still not ringing. Please, call, Clark, tell me you're okay.
Because she sure as hell wasn't.
Oliver stared out, as the sun was setting over Metropolis. Clark always loved the sunsets. When things were still good, they would sit out on the balcony to watch the sun setting together. Sometimes, Clark would even fly them up and above so they could see it better.
Now they would never do that anymore. Never would he feel the caress of Clark's skin, never would he be wrapped in the strong arms, kiss those lovely lips . . . no, it was all over.
The sun is setting, closing the day . . . and closing this chapter of my life. Tomorrow would be a new day and the first day of the rest of his life without Clark.
Come on, Queen, you're a young, handsome, charming and extremely successful . . . if he doesn't want you, that's his loss. Buck up. Tomorrow is a new day, soon you'll forget all about him.
Too bad that was easier said than done.
After an hour of solid talking and lots of pie, Clark finished telling his mom what happened over the past few weeks. There were some things he filtered out, because it's his mom and you can't say certain stuff to your mother.
But she was shocked when she heard what he had done. She had many questions, some which he could answer and others, that he wasn't able to.
"Clark," she said gently, "Do you know what you've done? Are you sure about all this?"
"I do know," Clark said. "And I am sure . . . at least, mostly sure. Either way, mom, I did it. In the long run, this will be for the best."
Martha pursed her lips together but didn't say anything. "I just hate to see you so sad . . . you both love each so much. And Oliver has become like a son to me . . . this must be killing him."
"I hate hurting him like this," Clark replied morosely. "But there really was no other option. At least none that I could see."
"I don't want to see you regret this, Clark," Martha replied. "You've made some serious choices here."
"I do regret it already," Clark responded. "But I know what I have to do. Trust me on this one."
She nodded. "If you say so." Sensing that he didn't want to talk about it anymore, she changed the topic. "So how's Chloe doing?"
He gave her a grateful smile and began eagerly chatting about his best friend and her upcoming move. Only pausing when he realized he owed her a phone call and rushed off to make it.
Chloe sounded really relieved to hear from him and they spoke about what happened. Between Chloe and his mom, he talked a lot that night.
And over the next couple of days. He was spending time with his mom or Chloe, most of the time both. They didn't want to waste a moment apart.
The days passed quickly and before he knew it, it was time for him to go. Holding a duffel bag of essentials, he stood at the door, with his mom and Chloe. He gave a vague explanation earlier to Lois about how he had to go explore. She didn't really understand but she didn't question it either.
Now was the hardest moment. Saying goodbye.
His mom and Chloe were both in tears but trying to remain strong for him.
He took turns in hugging them both. "I'm going to miss you so much."
"You'll be great Clark," his mother assured him. "And soon, you'll come home to us. We'll be waiting."
"Just be careful with Jor-El," Chloe added. "I want you to give it your all but make sure you're cautious too."
Hugging his best friend, he whispered, "Thank you . . . for everything. You're going to do great in D.C. I'm sure when I come home, I will see Chloe Sullivan, Pulitzer winner."
She nodded tearfully. "I'll win one for you." Kissing her forehead, he smiled.
"Take care of yourself. I won't be there to save you. So try not to get yourself in too many messes, okay?"
She giggled. "No promises."
One last hug and he turned back to his mother. "You'll be okay, right mom?"
"I'll miss you like crazy," Martha said. "But yes, I'll be fine. Don't fret too much about us . . ."
"I'll watch over your mom too," Chloe chipped in.
"There are plenty of people around me," Martha agreed. "You just focus everything you've got on your training."
"I'll make you guys proud," he promised.
"You already do," Martha proclaimed.
"I have a request," he said. "Take care of Ollie for me?"
Both Chloe and his mother nodded. "We'll look after him," Martha said.
"I guess this is goodbye then," Clark said, shuffling his feet. "I love you both very much."
"And we love you too," Chloe told him. "Good luck, Clark."
"Bye sweetie," Martha said.
Heart breaking, Clark turned and walked out of the home which he had grown up in. Glancing around to make sure nobody was around, he glanced back one last time. Shooting his mom and Chloe a brave smile, he turned to the sky and shot up in the air.
It was time for him to go fulfill his destiny . . . but before he left, he had one last stop to make.
Oliver stared out into the night sky. It was supposed to be a full moon. From his balcony, he could get a good view.
The past few days had been the most difficult of his life. Waking up alone, going to bed alone . . . spending his days, just alone. It had been a while since he'd been single and he didn't remember how tough it was. Especially when he was still in love with his ex.
I wonder where Clark is at this moment. "Probably with Julia," he muttered. He was probably celebrating his newfound 'freedom'.
Forcing thoughts of Clark away, he walked back inside, his eyes immediately falling on the package lying on the coffee table. It had arrived the day after Clark and his breakup. Oliver hadn't opened it yet.
I guess I should do that now. Making his way toward it, he picked up the small package and finding a pair of scissors, opened it. Dug through the packaging until he got to its contents.
A small velvet box. He gently lifted the cover and smiled sadly at what it held. A platinum engagement ring rested there. In the center of the band laid a green diamond. That's what had held up its delivery. The color matched Clark's eyes exactly. It had been nearly impossible to find but Oliver had been working on finding it ever since Clark first mentioned marriage.
Clark didn't have much love for the color, as it was also the color of the rock that could kill him. Oliver wanted to show him that the color that was his weakness would now be his strength, because every time he looked at the ring, he would be reminded of how much Oliver loved him. And that love would be their strongest point.
Now the love was dead. And the ring that he had spent so much time and effort not to mention money to get would never be used.
Unbeknownst to him, he was not alone. A figure hovered at the balcony, watching him and his every move.
Clark watched Oliver going through some package and had to prevent himself from gasping when he saw Oliver reveal a velvet box. Oh no.
You are the biggest asshole on the face of this planet. Smiling sadly, he whispered. "Take care of yourself Oliver . . . I love you."
Oliver's head snapped up and he looked around frantically. But Clark was already gone.
He rushed to the balcony. "I could've sworn," he murmured. There was no one there. He was alone. It was time to accept it. No matter how difficult it would be.
It was time to live his live . . . without Clark.
Clark was flying full speed toward the caves. He had to see Oliver one last time before he left. It was selfish but he did it anyway.
His mom and Chloe would watch over Oliver. Together, the three of them would be fine without him. One day, he'd return and do what he always secretly knew he was meant to.
But for now, he had a mission to complete. Before he could give himself completely to the world, he had to know who he was. This was the only way he would find out.
It's time. As he made his way to the secret area, from which he could go to his Fortress, memories of Oliver and him flashed through his mind.
"I have graduation practice tomorrow," Clark said. Seeing disappointment creeping on Oliver's face, he continued. "But I'm yours tonight."
"Only tonight?" Oliver asked with a teasing smile.
"Tonight for now," Clark said, "But after grad practice, I'm yours for however long you want me."
"How does forever sound?" Oliver asked softly.
"Pretty damn good to me," Clark replied with a smile.
It seemed, Clark realized, as he slipped his key into the familiar slot, forever just wasn't long enough.
As a bright light encompassed him, leading him to a place, which he knew too well, he willed himself to be strong.
It's time. Yes, it was.