Untitled
by mermaid2bseeker

A/N: I don’t know where this came from. The idea just popped into my head a few weeks ago and grew.

Disclaimer: Supernatural belongs to the CW and Kripke and Singer.
Summary: This story assumes Jo has joined the brothers on their hunts. Also Dean's soul is safe. Jo’s POV. Unrequited Jo/Dean.

During the night, when they sleep together—in the sense that the brothers’ aren’t going to share because Sam likes to hog the sheets—Dean wraps an arm around her and holds her securely against his chest.

Jo never says anything about this, because she secretly enjoys it too much. She knows that he would never do that if he were awake and part of her feels guilty for enjoying it. Whenever she wakes first, she feigns sleep, so that Dean can wake and shift away from her, believing that she’s unaware. She thinks it’s less embarrassing for him that way, and fears that if he knew that she knew, he might make her sleep in Sam’s bed instead. Really, it’s all a bit childish.

She understands now that when Dean tells her to stay put, or watch the car, he’s not doing it because he thinks she is incapable. He does it because if something goes wrong, he doesn’t want to have to choose between her and Sam. There’s no choice really. She knows whom Dean would save. So, really, he tells her to stay put because he doesn’t want her blood on his hands.

Jo doesn’t know exactly when it happened, but somewhere along the line, she went from demanding to be involved to accepting the support position. Mostly she works behind the scenes, cleaning weapons, researching, medical care when they’re too broken to do it themselves. Sometimes the job does require a female’s touch, or female bait, but even them, Dean is loath to let her participate. He’d rather have Sam wear a wig.

Sometimes, Jo thinks it would be easier for her if she were an active hunter. Every time they leave her behind, she worries that she’ll never see them again. She does what she can to make sure they’re prepared; restocking the supplies, researching all the facts—but in the end she watches them go and fears it’s not enough. With this comes the realization that she has become her mother.

She finally understands everything her mother had been trying to teach her. How hard it was whenever her dad would leave on a hunt; but Ellen never let it show. She smiled and chatted with the customers at the Roadhouse as though nothing were different. Now, Jo wondered how Ellen did it; she couldn’t imagine having to interact with others while the brothers were off hunting. All she could do was sit in the motel room like Dean told her to and watch the minutes go by.

It hurt, inside, knowing what could happen, what could go wrong. She never used to feel this way when her dad was on the job. It was all giggles and laughter back then, back before she learning hunting wasn’t as glamorous as her childish mind thought it was.

During the night, when they sleep together, and Dean wraps his arm around her, her worries vanish. All her thoughts of what could go wrong leave, because nothing did go wrong. They’re alive and safe, and for one tiny little moment she can pretend that Dean thinks of her that way.

Everything she does, everyway she’s changed, is because she loves him. So she takes what she can get, all the while making sure her presence is never a hindrance.