Saviour

Chapter Thirty Six: Saviour

“Welcome back, Starscream.”

“Uh… huh?” was all Starscream could manage to splutter. His optics opened, though they were still heavy. The first thing he saw was a pair of deep red optics, glistening and surrounded by bright white light. A grey face materialised around the optics as his vision grew better and the young seeker groaned.

Everything hurt. It felt as though cement had been poured and allowed to dry inside his circuitry, making his entire body stiff.

Those optics… They reminded him of… Someone…

He attempted to probe his memory banks, but felt white hot pain sear through his CPU. He cried out in agony.

“What’s wrong with him?” the same mech with the red optics asked.

“Most of his memory banks were destroyed or corrupted by the trauma to his CPU,” came a monotonous reply.

Memory… banks?

“There’s no chance of retrieving them?”

“No, my lord. He remembers… nothing.”

“Almost nothing,” another corrected. This one’s voice was husky.

Starscream whimpered and trembled, keeping his optics glued shut. They had to be lying, that wasn’t true… He remembered who he was. He was Starscream. He was a seeker. He… remembered pain… Pain and darkness… Deep red optics…

Someone… Someone had betrayed him… Someone that he had loved.

“Well, get on with it, Shockwave,” the mech with red optics ordered. “What can he remember?”

“As far as I can tell, only his basic programming is left. He can speak, read, write, possibly fight, but he won’t remember much else. Once again, lord Megatron, I do recommend termination. It is utterly pointless to keep this youngling alive.”

“So he doesn’t know who I am?”

“No, sir.”

“Or… his creators?”

“No, sir.”

“A blank canvas…” Megatron muttered.

“Suggested action is termination, lord Megatron,” said the monotonous voice.

“Tell Hook that he is to keep the child alive. I want him. You are dismissed.”

Wait, this mech… wanted him? Who was he? Had they met before? He did seem familiar… Megatron…But he couldn’t… He really couldn’t remember anything…

“M-Mega…t-tron?” Starscream rasped weakly, finally forcing his optics open once again. He could see the blur of a large purple and green mech’s frame and he did remember… something. He remembered being comforted by someone like that, yes… He did know Megatron! He did! He just didn’t remember who exactly Megatron was… But that couldn’t be important.

Megatron’s horned head turned and his glowing red optics scanned Starscream quickly. A smirk spread across his grey face and he moved closer.

Oh Primus, this mech was huge! Wait… Another big mech… he remembered another big mech too… Big and black and red with wings and red optics… But he couldn’t picture his face, or remember his name… Or recall just why his Spark hurt when he tried to remember him.

“Do you remember my name?” Megatron asked.

“M-Megatron…” Starscream croaked again. His throat burned as he spoke, but he wanted Megatron to know that he did remember who he was. He just… didn’t know how… “I… Star…sc-scream…”

A pleased smirk curled into Megatron’s lips.

“Indeed,” he said. “Do you know who I am?”

Starscream tried, he really did, but he couldn’t remember…He shook his head, frowning. Megatron’s expression became sterner. Oh no, he hadn’t meant to make him angry…

Suddenly, a thoughtful expression crossed Megatron’s face as his optics scrutinised Starscream. The seeker tried to move, but felt cold metal straps binding him down to the bed he was lying on. He looked at his left wrist, panic spreading into his CPU. He’d been shackled to the bed!

And worse… His arm… There were wounds on his arm… Half repaired… What had happened?

A confused whimper escaped the seeker’s vocal processor. He glanced up at Megatron, his expression fearful, begging with his optics.

“Don’t be afraid,” Megatron said, his tone of voice almost sounding bored. “Those restraints are merely to stop you from undoing the repairs done to your body. They will be removed once you have sufficiently recovered.”

Repairs? How badly had he been damaged? Why did it still hurt so much?

Tears welled up in Starscream’s optics despite his best efforts. It was all so confusing, he didn’t understand…

“This is why I hate younglings,” someone spat from behind Starscream.

“I don’t care how you feel about it, Hook. Keep him alive. That’s an order,” Megatron said.

Starscream looked up at Megatron. The huge mech had just defended him… He really must want him.

They locked optics and Starscream felt his cheeks burning. Suddenly Megatron didn’t seem so stern anymore, but more gentle.

Slowly, Megatron raised his hand to his chest and pointed one of his purple fingers at the insignia painted to his chestplate. Starscream blinked and looked at the symbol. It was purple; kind of like an upside down triangle with antennae. The antennae looked a bit like Megatron’s, actually.

“Do you know what this insignia means?” Megatron asked.

Starscream studied the insignia as best he could while his optics were still stinging. It did seem… kind of… familiar… There was a name; a name that went with it. It was on the tip of his tongue but he just couldn’t remember…

Defeated and disappointed in himself, Starscream shook his head.

The one called Hook scoffed and muttered, “Termination would be kinder.”

“Silence,” Megatron barked, his optics flaring with rage. However, his expression softened slightly again as his gaze returned to Starscream. “This is the symbol of the Decepticons.”

“Decep…”

“Decepticons,” Megatron repeated. His hand then moved, wandering slowly to Starscream’s left just beside his helm. The seeker gazed up at Megatron fearfully, expecting the bigger mechs’ touch to hurt, though he couldn’t imagine why.

It didn’t. Megatron’s hand rested on his wing and it actually felt… warm.

Slowly, Megatron’s fingers brushed down his wing. They stopped halfway down and tapped on the repaired metal lightly. Starscream turned his head, optics widening as he saw the same purple insignia faintly visible on his wing. He glanced back up at Megatron and forced a weak smile onto his face. Megatron, too, smiled, though his was more of a smirk.

“You’re safe here,” said Megatron, straightening back up to his full, towering height. “You’re among your own kind now, little Starscream.”

“Megatron!” Starscream exclaimed, his wings whirring as they hitched up slightly in his excitement at seeing the large mech again. He always liked it when Megatron came to see him. Starscream didn’t know what was outside that door he always came through, but Megatron had promised that he’d be able to see soon.

Calm as ever, Megatron strolled up to the bed where Starscream perched on the edge. The seeker gazed up at Megatron, completely star-struck as always. It was just amazing the way Megatron could control everything and keep his cool. And he looked so strong, too… Starscream bet no one could beat the leader of the Decepticons in a fight. Those Autobots Megatron had told him about wouldn’t stand a chance.

It made him feel safe to have Megatron with him.

“How are you feeling today, Starscream?” Megatron asked. Starscream smiled.

“Look!” he chirped. The youngling seeker lowered himself from the bed and onto the ground. He trembled momentarily, but managed to keep his balance. He hadn’t been able to so much as stand without someone’s help before, and he wanted to show Megatron how much progress he’d made since his last visit.

Starscream’s legs shook like a lamb walking for the first time. The newly repaired cables inside them seared with pain, but the seeker ignored it as best he could. A smile of innocent wonder crossed his face as he looked up at Megatron.

“You may be well enough to leave the med bay soon. I hope you’ve considered my offer,” said Megatron. He never really showed much in the way of emotions, but Starscream had a feeling that Megatron was pleased. He had vowed to himself that he would repay Megatron for saving him, even though the three other mechs he’d met had said that he should be terminated. It seemed that no one else wanted him around, yet Megatron had ignored the advice of his second in command, communications officer and chief medical officer and kept him alive. The least Starscream could do was try his best to help Megatron.

“Yes,” Starscream replied. He felt a little dizzy now, so the youngling hoisted himself back onto his bed.

A while ago, Megatron had said that Starscream could join his group of Decepticon warriors when he recovered. It would be hard work, but Starscream didn’t know what else to do, and he wanted to stay with Megatron. Truth be told, he was scared… He didn’t know anything about the world around him now, and he knew he would never get his lost memory files back. Megatron had told him that his own father had been the one to almost kill him. Since then Starscream had had no desire to leave Megatron’s side in case his father found him again, so he had been more than excited when Megatron had offered to let him stay here. He just prayed that his saviour didn’t grow weary of him.

Starscream drew as close to Megatron’s massive frame as physically possible without being inappropriate. Every circuit and sensor in his CPU was blaring warning signals at him, telling him that nothing was safe.

It was his first time outside the small med bay room he’d been confined to. Megatron was with him though, which was… nice. He hadn’t thought that the leader of the Decepticons would have the time to take him to meet his new mentor between crushing the evil Autobots and commanding his army, but it seemed he did.

The seeker wouldn’t tell Megatron, obviously, but he really wished that the Decepticon commander could have trained him. He had only met three other Decepticons and none of them had liked him. Even the one called Hook, who was supposed to be his medic, seemed to avoid talking to him as much as possible. It was like he thought Starscream had some kind of horrible virus or something.

But that all changed as soon as Megatron walked through those med bay doors, and Starscream knew that the older mech wouldn’t let anyone hurt him. He’d promised, after all, that no one would ever be able to hurt him ever again. He had promised.

Starscream continued to limp alongside Megatron, faint pain still shooting through his left leg every now and then. It had been horribly mangled and Hook had grumbled about having to continuously repair it.

Mechs and femmes of all different shapes and sizes walked past, each bowing their head to Megatron or mumbling some form of greeting respectfully. The purple and green mech must have been an incredible leader to have gained such respect. Starscream knew that he was very lucky for Megatron to see enough potential in him to put this much effort into his wellbeing.

They approached a room filled with the sound of laughter. Megatron opened the door and gestured for Starscream to follow him in, which the youngling did, albeit warily.

This room must have been for relaxation between battles or something. There were several couches and screens dotted around, and many different kinds of mechs and femmes talking, drinking Energon or what looked like gambling. Starscream even spotted a couple of seeker mechs in one corner; a blue one and a black one. Both were much taller than him, and obviously far older.

Starscream watched with complete fascination as the black one grinned and threw himself at the blue one, knocking him onto the floor. A couple of surrounding Decepticons then cheered and started chanting, egging on the bizarrely playful fight.

“Uh, those two,” Megatron grumbled, placing a hand on Starscream’s shoulder. “But you won’t have to train under them yet. Come.”

Starscream almost fell to the side as he turned to follow Megatron again. Suddenly he felt light-headed, even ill. It was just… so overwhelming to see so many different Cybertronians all crowded together.

Glancing feverishly from side to side as Megatron led him through the gaggle of Decepticons, Starscream felt extremely intimidated. He was so tiny compared to everyone in here. They all looked so strong, so skilled… He couldn’t even walk properly yet.

“Soundwave,” Megatron said suddenly. Starscream’s head shot up. He knew that name, it was the tall stoic communications officer. A red visor covered his optics and a faceplate hid his mouth. Due to that and his monotonous voice it was impossible to tell how Soundwave was feeling and whether or not he actually thought of Starscream as anything more than a stupid little child.

“Yes, lord Megatron?” Soundwave asked immediately. The blue mech sat on a couch, datapad in hand.

“I have decided that Starscream is to be placed in your care for the time being. Your experience with your Cassetticons makes you the most qualified in my opinion.”

“What’s a Cassetticon?” Starscream found himself blurting before he could stop. He was curious, he wanted to know. But he could see the look of pure disgust that must have crossed Soundwave’s optics through the shining red visor that covered them. The seeker was quick to cast his optics away.

“Sir-” Soundwave began.

“No arguments,” Megatron snapped quickly. “Treat him as you would one of your own. He has great potential, you’ll see.”

Soundwave was watching him with frightening intensity, Starscream could feel it. The giant blue mech’s optics burned into the back of his helm. But he couldn’t let it distract him. He had been given a task to do and he would do it. Maybe then Soundwave would finally see that he wasn’t stupid, and would stop putting him down in front of Megatron.

Starscream’s fingers danced skilfully between the wires, plucking out the broken ones and quickly replacing them with new versions. Finally, when the wires were back, he began to connect them up again. One by one, the wires curled together, connecting to form circuits; circuits that began to whir as power began to flow back through them again, and the computer’s once dead screen lit up.

Satisfied, Starscream glanced behind him to Soundwave. The communications officer uncurled his body from its position leaning against the wall and strolled up to his pupil’s side.

“Hmm. That’ll do,” he murmured. In some strange way, Starscream supposed it was a compliment.

He’d been frightened at first. No, not frightened, petrified.

Not knowing the meaning of what Megatron had done, Starscream had thought he’d undergone some kind of… punishment… But here he was, in the Decepticon commander’s arms.

It was all okay, he realised. Megatron hadn’t meant to hurt him, it had probably been an accident or… or maybe he’d done something wrong. Starscream wasn’t sure, but he was Megatron’s pupil now and he had a good feeling about it.

Beep, beep, beep…

What was that noise? It was so distant, so dreamlike that it seemed unreachable. This place, wherever it was, didn’t seem to end. It was just… white. That was it; white to the left, to the right, up and down. There was no beginning, no end, no middle. There was no ground and no sky; just a vast emptiness with him in the centre; alone with fading memories.

The strange beeping sound continued, growing slightly louder and crisper amidst the blank white penitentiary.

He blinked. Not for the first time in his life, a confused desperation filled his Spark. What was this place? Slowly, more recent memories dripped into his CPU, and Starscream; for yes, he was Starscream, remembered why. And suddenly, he didn’t care anymore.

It had been worth it. If this was his penance, so be it. Optimus Prime lived and Megatron was vanquished. The Autobots had won. So what if it meant his own death? It had made a difference, at least. He hadn’t died as he always thought he would; trembling at Megatron’s feet. He had died so that Optimus could live, and it didn’t seem so bad.

Though, he wondered if he would be missed.

Jetfire…

He did regret one thing… Not saying farewell. Yes, he had been able to at least thank Optimus before his body resigned to stasis, but he hadn’t seen his own bondmate. Though they had only been bonded for a short time, Starscream felt such harmonious love for the white shuttle. He’d never imagined that he would be treated like an equal in a sexual relationship; or even that anyone would ever love him.

A tiny smile curled into Starscream’s lips. He wondered if he and Jetfire still held their precious connection, and attempted to stretch his mind through the farthest reaches of the universe, feeling for his bondmate’s presence.

…He felt nothing.

The seeker bowed his head.

So… this was what death felt like. Nothing. Nothing at all. There was no pain, but no pleasure either. Perhaps this would have been better than suffering the long years of torture at Megatron’s malicious hands.

But then again, had he not fought through, he never would have had that short period of happiness. Brief though it had been, at least he had felt it once in his life.

Suddenly, he began to feel something deep inside him. Where that vast emptiness had been, a faint spark of warmth emerged, crawling out of a void of nothingness to guide him. Yes, to guide him! He could feel the spark growing, becoming stronger, warmer, brighter. It made his circuits tingle before the tiny spark became a glowing silver star. He squinted as his body burned.

It was his Spark! Not just any old little spark of flame but his very soul and essence. And it was back.

Starscream gasped desperately as his chest blazed.

“Starscream…”

That voice! That magical, wondrous voice was like sweet harmonious music flowing into his audio sensors. It belonged to the being he had given his soul to. The one who had given him freedom, yes! The one he had merged with, bonded with. The one he had sworn to stand by and love until the end of time itself… His bondmate!

“Jetfire?”

Something was gripped his left hand tightly. But he couldn’t see anything there… The world was still an endless plane of white and-

-and colours had begun to seep into his vision. Yellow and red melted into the white around him, followed by an entire spectrum slowly forming blurred shapes in dizzying swirls. His head span as he realised that his back and wings were pressing into something. He was lying down, not floating.

Strange rushing sensations rolled through his body from his feet to his head as if he were being pulled out of water.

Starscream gasped and his optics shot open.

“Starscream!”

He knew that voice. That was his bondmate’s voice!

“J-Jet…fire…” Starscream whispered, not wanting to lose his beloved. But he was right there, right next to him. Jetfire was the one gripping his hand so tightly.

“He’s awake!” Jetfire exclaimed to someone beyond Starscream’s limited field of vision. Pain seared through his body, but his bondmate’s gentle hand caressing his cheek soon soothed him.

Though his optics stung, Starscream managed to make out Jetfire’s maskless face to his left and forced a weak smile onto his face. The shuttle looked as though he had been crying, but he was smiling too. Starscream urged his hands to move, to touch Jetfire to make sure he was truly there, but they wouldn’t move.

“Jetf-fire?” he asked again, barely above a whisper.

“Yeah, it’s me,” Jetfire said, laughing through his fading sorrow as he traced the line from Starscream’s left optic to his chin. “Oh Primus, I thought… We all thought…”

“I promised I’d n-never leave, ‘member?” Starscream whispered with a delirious smile. His vision was still slightly hazy, but he could make out other figures moving about the room. He couldn’t focus his gaze on much though, because it brought on a throbbing headache.

“That you did,” Jetfire said.

“W-wouldn’t wanna… break my promise…” Starscream gasped through the sharp stinging in his throat. The epicentre of the dull pain floating through his circuits was his chest, where it felt as though his Spark had been ripped from his body. There were wires attached to his chestplate, some to his red armour and other creeping under the freshly fixed blue glass of his cockpit. They tangled around his body, a web of life support and monitoring machines surrounding them.

Beep, beep, beep…

That was what that sound had been. He’d been hearing the sound of his own Spark monitor.

“We almost lost you a few days ago,” came a new voice, this time to his right. Starscream forced his head to turn and saw Red Alert standing above him, a rare but very pleasant smile spread across his face.

“…Huh?” Starscream asked thickly.

“You died,” Red Alert replied. “But your Spark reignited when I used the defibrillator. It’s extremely rare; a one in a million chance, but it’s not unheard of. Your Spark just doesn’t give up, does it?” the blue medic ‘bot said as he removed the wires connecting Starscream to the Spark monitor. The beeping noise stopped abruptly.

Red Alert continued in his “I’m a doctor” fashion and Starscream tried his best to concentrate.

“You’ve been in stasis ever since. Jetfire hasn’t left your side. We almost lost you again a few times, but you’re certainly a fighter.”

Starscream glanced back to Jetfire and watched his bondmate smile sheepishly.

Starscream twitched as he heard the door open, surprised by the sudden sound breaking through the silence of the med bay. He tried to look to see who was there, but he couldn’t move his head enough.

“Starscream,” a deep, soothing voice sighed, filled with both joy and relief. Starscream’s amber optics brightened.

Optimus stepped up to the side of the bed, obviously positively beaming beneath his faceplate. He placed an ever-comforting hand on Starscream’s shoulder, his golden optics glistening beneath the med bay lights.

“Thank you,” he said in the same caring tone he always used when talking to Starscream. “You saved my life.”

“It was nothin’…” Starscream slurred with a weak smile.

“It most certainly wasn’t “nothing”,” Optimus said. He crouched so that his optics were level with the hospitalized seeker’s. “You showed bravery to an extent that I have never seen before. And I’m not just talking about saving me. When you were in that prison cell…” The Autobot leader bowed his head and sighed. “Let’s just say I’ve never been prouder.”

Starscream felt his Spark glow at those words.

“Here, you’ll need this,” Red Alert said curtly. Optimus stepped aside to allow his CMO to inject a soothing painkiller into Starscream’s neck. Instantly, the cold harsh pain was covered with a warm feeling, making Starscream more than slightly sleepy. He felt Jetfire squeeze his hand and looked at his bondmate lovingly. The white mech merely stared into his optics and the seeker stared back. They didn’t need to say anything. Every emotion they were feeling was rushing between their Sparks at lightning speed.

He could hear Optimus still talking with Red Alert, but slowly their voices became a mere rumbling noise as his optics slipped shut.

“…His wing blade,” Optimus was saying.

“It must still be in the forest,” Red Alert replied.

Exhaustion was stifling his CPU and the seeker couldn’t help it. He yawned, prompting a chuckle from Jetfire. Starscream forced his optics open and frowned.

“Well, you need some rest, Starscream,” Red Alert said with a smirk. That painkiller should last you the night, but Jetfire can always get you another if you need it.”

“Thanks, Red Alert,” Starscream whispered. “For everything…”

It was now a vicious battle with his optics and CPU to stay awake, but he still saw the smile that crossed Red Alert’s face.

“Good night, Starscream, Jetfire. We can talk more in the morning,” Optimus said, brushing his fingers against Starscream’s cheek lightly. He locked optics with Jetfire and the shuttle smiled. Then, the commander followed Red Alert from the med bay. The door slid shut and Starscream attempted to stifle another yawn. His chest had become numb now, but he didn’t want to move in case he did something to the wound.

“Hang on a sec,” Jetfire said, leaving Starscream’s side momentarily. The young seeker struggled to turn his head when he heard a loud scraping noise on the other side of the room. It came closer and his audio sensors stung in protest.

“Jetfire?” he asked. His bondmate emerged next to him, pulling one of the other beds behind him and smiling. “Oh,” Starscream muttered.

Jetfire grinned and pushed the other bed up to Starscream’s. He hopped onto the makeshift double bed and lay next to Starscream, folding his wings behind him so that he could turn onto his side.

After a few seconds of silence, Jetfire murmured, “I dunno what I would’ve done if I’d lost you…”

“I wouldn’t of left you,” Starscream replied quietly. Jetfire laughed.

“We’re way too mushy for our own good, you do realise that, right?” the white mech said with a grin. Starscream managed a weak laugh. Jetfire leaned over to kiss him gently and he melted from the compassionate display of affection.

When he had released Starscream’s lips, Jetfire mumbled, “Night, Starscream.”

Starscream felt the need to recharge overpower him. His optics closed and he felt Jetfire caressing his cheek softly.

“Love you, Jetfire,” he muttered.

“I love you too, Starscream,” Jetfire whispered back, just as they both slipped into recharge together.

A full moon hung in the sky, and countless stars were spread across the giant black blanket of the night, but none were visible deep in the thick forest that had only a few days ago been the scene of a bloody battle. The woods were deep in an ocean of darkness, only halted every now and then by the shimmering of leaves on the gigantic trees as they captured tiny glimmers of the moonlight.

Optimus drew a deep intake cycle and stretched out the circuits in his neck. Red Alert closed the entrance to the base behind them and quickly stepped to his commander’s side.

“It was this way,” Optimus said, gesturing to his right. Red Alert nodded and they began to walk, being careful not to cause any more harm the vegetation. Quite a lot of bushes and trees had been burned down during their battle with the Decepticons, and Optimus always felt guilty whenever they destroyed something so beautiful on this strange organic planet.

Red Alert’s voice cut through the darkness.

“About Starscream,” he said thoughtfully, almost softly.

“Mmm?” Optimus replied as he brushed a tree branch out of his face.

“I’ve been reading up,” Red Alert said. “I never had the chance to psychologically evaluate him, but… I think I can help him. And when we return to Cybertron, I know a few ‘bots who might be better suited to it. He’s definitely going to need a lot of help, but I just worry that he may be uncomfortable if I try to-”

“He trusts you. I wouldn’t worry,” Optimus said.

Red Alert smiled sheepishly.

“You know, it really is a miracle… I’d lost hope of him living more than a few hours after I saw that wound.”

“He’s a survivor,” Optimus replied, smiling benignly beneath his faceplate.

They stepped into the clearing they had been travelling towards. It was empty. Megatron’s body was gone, though purple Energon still splattered the grass, glistening under the night sky, and Starscream’s wingblade had also disappeared. Optimus sighed.

“Perhaps the Decepticons took it,” Red Alert suggested.

“Yes, but it may be worth-”

Optimus froze as he heard the faint sound of metal scraping against bark. He whipped out his blaster pistol and brought it to face the offending group of trees, optics narrowing as they caught a glimmer of purple in the shadows.

“Relax,” came the almost arrogantly cool voice of Sideways. Optimus shifted slightly, lowering his blaster by an inch or so.

The very pinnacle of tranquillity, Sideways stepped out of his cocoon of shadows and leaves, one hand raised to show his empty palm and the other gripping Starscream’s white wingblade.

“Sideways,” Optimus acknowledged curtly. The purple mech may have saved both Starscream and Jetfire on two occasions, but Optimus was still a little wary to trust him with the mysterious mech’s previous betrayal always rising to the front of his CPU.

“I knew you’d come back for it eventually, so I kept scanning this area,” the supposed Decepticon said. He raised Starscream’s wingblade and calmly turned the hilt towards Optimus. His sunset pink optics glistened as he offered the sword to the Autobot commander, almost as if he were actually happy.

Optimus pursed his lips, still unsure even now. If Sideways hadn’t betrayed the Autobots, then Megatron wouldn’t have claimed the Star Sabre in the first place. But he took the young seeker’s weapon and wing from Sideways. Behind him, Red Alert was on guard, gripping his own blaster tightly.

“Thank you,” Optimus said. He eyed Sideways thoughtfully for a moment, trying to process every possible reason behind why the mysterious mech acted the way he did. If he was really sided with the Autobots, it was illogical for him to have betrayed them at all, and if he was really with the Decepticons, he was putting himself at great risk by continuously helping Autobots and a former Decepticon. But, at the same time, Optimus was extremely grateful for all that Sideways had done.

“What kind of a seeker would he be if he couldn’t fly?” Sideways said, waving a hand airily.

A few minutes of tense silence rolled by before Optimus finally spoke again.

“What will happen in the Decepticon ranks now that Megatron is dead?”

“Oh, the usual,” Sideways said. “A power struggle, naturally. Demolisher seems rather keen on taking over, as does Shockwave. I imagine that, if the Decepticons also return to Cybertron, the two of them will start another civil war within their own army.”

“Hmm,” Optimus mumbled with a nod.

“I always knew Starscream would be the one to do it,” Sideways said, his purple horned head tilting up towards the sky. “From the second I saw him…”

“So you wanted to help him get there,” Red Alert said.

“You could say that.”

“Just whose side are you on?” Optimus questioned, shifting his weight to his right leg and narrowing his golden optics.

Sideways’ optics rested on him, a hint of humour simmering beneath their sparkling pink surfaces. For once, Optimus felt sure that some kind of expression, most likely a smirk, was upon the mysterious mech’s face.

“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you,” the motorbike Transformer replied.

“And what are you going to do now?” Optimus asked. He folded his arms across his chest and stared into Sideways’ optics as if attempting to delve into the depths of his strange CPU.

“That’s for me to know, and for you to hopefully never find out,” Sideways retorted.

“But-” Red Alert began, but Sideways interrupted.

“I should return to the moon base. They may become suspicious.”

“Wait,” Optimus said.

Sideways locked optics with him, obviously curious.

“There’s something I have to know,” the Autobot commander said. “Most of the Decepticons, if not all of them must have known how Megatron was treating Starscream.”

Sideways nodded.

“Then why are you the only one who ever tried to help him?”

Shaking his head, Sideways glanced between Optimus and Red Alert briefly before muttering, “Megatron controls his troops with fear, you know that. Why do you think no one ever did anything?”

Optimus sighed. The purple mech was right, it was just so obvious.

Then, before either Autobot could stop him, Sideways activated his warp controls and disappeared in a flash of light. Optimus squinted as the sudden burst of light stung at his optics, so accustomed to the darkness of the forest at night.

Optimus lifted Starscream’s wingblade and examined it. The blood had been cleaned off, and it seemed that some of the damages it had sustained in battle had been repaired as well. The Autobot commander smiled thoughtfully beneath his faceplate, turning the white weapon over in his hand.

Sideways certainly was an anomaly.

Starscream gasped as a spasm of light pain shot through his chest. His fingers grasped for the blue glass of his cockpit, stroking it slowly to soothe the discomfort in his Spark.

It must have been about two and half, perhaps three weeks since that battle - he couldn’t be sure, he had spent much of it in stasis or recharge – and his Spark still hurt sometimes. The physical wound had healed, being a clean cut, but Red Alert said that his Spark would ache sometimes for a while. He hoped it passed soon. He didn’t mind the pain - he’d felt much worse - but more the fact that Jetfire felt it too.

His first time out of the med bay when his injury had sufficiently recovered had brought on an intense guilt trip of immeasurable proportions. Seeing the base in its half-destroyed state and knowing that he was the reason for it had rattled his Spark slightly.

Repairs were already underway and moving along swiftly. All of the generators were now running again, bringing power back to the base, and most of the walls had been repaired save for a few charred ruins near the forest entrance. There were some mechanical tasks that still needed attention, such as repairing computers and automatic doors.

Starscream didn’t want to be arrogant, but he knew that he could do this quicker and more efficiently than any of the other Autobots, even Sideswipe or Red Alert.

Still, Optimus’ orders kept him off duty at all times. He just didn’t understand why Optimus wanted to stop him from doing something for the benefit of the Autobots, especially when he was best suited to the task. Was it because Optimus thought he was still weakened by his injuries? Or maybe the Autobot leader didn’t trust him anymore after seeing what a monster he’d become; viciously pummelling Megatron’s head into the ground.

Whatever the reason was, Starscream was desperate to prove Optimus wrong. He wasn’t weak and he wasn’t… or, he hoped he wasn’t a monster; not anymore.

And so the young seeker found himself here; a darkened corridor late at night, unable to recharge alone in the med bay when Jetfire was out patrolling the mountains. One of the broken computer consoles’ circuitry was spread out in front of him, a tangled web of yellow, red, blue and black wires piled up across the glossy metal floor.

A large window overhead showed the deep blackness of the night sky, a few stars dotted about here and there.

He had kept a single light on overhead but otherwise the walls were shrouded in shadows. He didn’t mind them; he had grown used to darkness. It somehow seemed like a factor that had always been in his life, deep within his memories.

Memories that he would never retrieve with Megatron gone…

Starscream shook his head, muttering, “stupid,” under his breath harshly. He glowered at the mass of yellow wires in his hands and returned to disentangling them from each other; a long and boring process that had to be done before repairing the console.

What did it really matter if he never knew? From what tiny flickers of consciousness he could recall through his damaged memory banks, his life before Megatron had been just as painful and terrifying as life had been with the warlord. Perhaps it was best if he never found out just why his father hated him… Although, he never had been sure that Megatron hadn’t just been lying to gain his trust.

Then again, wasn’t it kind of… his right to know?

Heh, his right. That was something he had never even thought about before.

He just didn’t know. What if he didn’t like what he found out? Maybe he really was better off ignorant of his past.

Starscream lowered his head and growled in an attempt to eradicate the hurricane of confusion tearing through his CPU. If only there was someone who could just… just tell him what to do…

The seeker let out a high-pitched snarl and threw the wires in his hands back into the pile on the floor. Frustration clouded his mind and he couldn’t find the patience to fix the console.

“Starscream.”

Starscream’s head shot up when he heard Optimus’ voice beside him. The single light illuminated the left half of the commander’s body as he crouched to Starscream’s level. The seeker felt his Spark pulse twice as fast, sending waves of harsh pain through his body.

“You know I don’t want you straining yourself,” Optimus said softly. He picked up some of the wires and ran his thumb along the plastic outer coating.

Starscream remained silent. Optimus turned to look at him, golden optics piercing his flame coloured ones. The commander sighed.

“How’d you know I was down here?” Starscream asked hoarsely.

“There are security cameras in this base, Starscream,” Optimus muttered in reply. White glimmered through the commander’s optics and Starscream knew that he was smiling. “You don’t have to do this on your own. If you were so desperate to help-”

“You keep saying that I don’t have to do anything, but I want to,” Starscream snapped.

“I know,” Optimus said quietly.

Starscream made to retrieve the clump of wires he had thrown away, but Optimus grabbed his hands and held them firmly.

“I have an offer for you,” the taller mech said. Starscream glanced up into his gold optics curiously. Optimus sighed. “Red Alert and I have been talking a lot. And, well…”

The cautiousness within Optimus’ optics as he looked into Starscream’s made the seeker nervous. Suddenly he realised why it was that Optimus had been treating him as though he were made of glass all this time. He felt his CPU burn and his throat clench as he managed to mutter,

“I’m not right…”

This time it was Optimus who couldn’t bear to look Starscream in the optic. He looked down to the floor, feeling Starscream’s pained expression still fixated on him.

“Don’t say it like that,” he said quietly.

“But it’s true, isn’t it?” Starscream asked. Optimus squeezed Starscream’s hands.

“Not… necessarily…” Optimus locked optics with Starscream. The seeker seemed to be on the verge of tears. He couldn’t even begin to imagine… To know that your mind could be your own worst enemy… But it was why he wanted Red Alert to help Starscream. He knew that Starscream was far better than he was before, but there were times when he truly feared that there was something seriously wrong with the seeker.

And watching how quickly he had switched… It had frightened Optimus a little to see Starscream like that again; a rage driven… monster… He didn’t want that for Starscream. He deserved better. It wasn’t who he really was, Optimus was sure of it.

“Red Alert’s in the med bay. He can start now, if you want. The offer is; you can help me as much as you like, within reason considering your recent injuries, and in exchange, you allow Red Alert to give you the help he feels you need.”

Starscream nodded, but felt himself choke back a desperate sob. He lowered his head, only to feel Optimus release his hands. Huge, warm arms wrapped around his smaller frame and the seeker sank into Optimus’ body.

“I’m scared,” Starscream whispered. It was all he could manage to say. There was so much more that he wanted to tell Optimus… He was afraid of so many different things… What Red Alert might discover, whether he would ever remember what had happened to him, whether the Autobots would still want him around when they discovered both those things as well…

“I know, I know,” Optimus soothed softly. His hand came up to rest on the back of Starscream’s helm and the seeker remembered all the times when the commander had been there for him; all the times that Optimus had given him a shoulder to lean on, even though he’d never had to. Purely by his own choice, Optimus had practically adopted Starscream as his own, and Starscream would never be able to think of a way to repay him enough.

“What if… What if…?”

“Whatever happens, no one will abandon you, I swear. You’re an Autobot, and we support each other. I’ve helped Jetfire overcome his past, and I’ve also helped Hotshot do the same. I won’t do any less for you.”

Starscream nodded into Optimus’ chestplate.

Optimus kept his arms wrapped tightly around Starscream’s frame. The young seeker needed comfort and care right now.

The Autobot commander tilted his head up to allow Starscream’s helm to rest into his chestplate. He smiled. It was all going to be okay. It wouldn’t be easy, certainly not, but it would be for the best.

Almost as if prompted by his subconscious, Optimus began to rock Starscream in his arms ever so slightly. He didn’t care what Red Alert found, as long as Starscream would be alright. It was true that, somehow, he did think of Starscream as a kind of son, at least in how he felt the need to care for and guide him. But he had recently begun to think… that Starscream was like a youngling anyway…

Perhaps it was the result of those long years of abuse. From what Starscream could remember, Optimus estimated that the seeker was only in his early youngling years when he had awoken in Decepticon HQ’s med bay under Megatron’s gaze.

He’d been a youngling with no memories, no idea how the world worked, no idea just who it was that stood towering above him, planning to use him as some kind of experiment in creating the “perfect warrior”.

Of course he had trusted Megatron; he’d had no one else to compare him to, no one else to turn to.

And so, when all the pain and anguish and rage that had built up over the years were torn away, what was it that remained?

The child.

The terrified, lonely child.

Except now, the child was even more terrified, even more lonely; lost in his own confusion because he had never understood, and still couldn’t understand, why it was that his “saviour” had hurt him so much.

But it would all change now.

Optimus glanced up. Through the window he could see the first glimmers of daybreak through the dark night sky. A yellow glow brightened the corridor they sat in, dissolving the shadows away. Optimus tightened his hold on Starscream and stroked his helm.

Light began to bounce off the walls as the grey-blue of dawn was overpowered by the grand orange glow of sunrise. The symphony of bright colours; red, yellow, orange and a slight hint of pink, seeped slowly across the sky and Optimus vowed to himself one thing:

He would never, ever allow Starscream to go backwards. From now on, the seeker would only move forwards.

However long it took, however hard it was and however many obstacles stood in his way…

Starscream would be free.

The End.