|You Can't Keep An Old Dog Down
Author: Lady FoxFire PM
HP-SG1 Magic can make anything possible and when you mix in SG1 it's a guarantee that the impossible will happen.Rated: Fiction T - English - Drama/Humor - J. O'Neill & Harry P. - Chapters: 16 - Words: 67,281 - Reviews: 671 - Favs: 1,220 - Follows: 1,849 - Updated: 02-12-13 - Published: 09-23-07 - id: 3800169
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Title: You Can't Keep An Old Dog Down
Author: Lady FoxFire & Corwalch
Category(s): Crossover - Harry Potter/StarGate SG-1
Summary: Magic can make anything possible and when you mix in SG-1 it's a guarantee that the impossible will happen.
Disclaimer: This fit of madness if from the twisted minds of Corwalch and Lady FoxFire. If you recognize something from StarGate SG-1 or from Harry Potter then you better believe we don't own it or make any money from it.
Bad Author Notes: Happy Day of the Green… or St Patrick's Day if you want to get technical. Since I'm of Irish and Scottish descent (Father's side is Irish... we think. Mom's side was Scottish) and Corwalch is Scottish we figure today would be the best day for you to read this chapter since most American's will be slightly buzzed if they're over 21 and celebrating being of Irish descent even if they're not. Our Beta asked if we were high on crack when she read this so keep that in mind when you read this chapter.
Jack was just getting in his car when he heard a popping sound and a female voice say, "Colonel Jonathan, O'Neill, you are a hard man to locate."
Jack turned around and found himself face to face with Amelia Bones, Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement.
"And you are?" Jack asked as he leaned back against his truck, crossing his arms.
"My name is Amelia Bones and I am Head of the British Department of Magical Law Enforcement," Amelia introduced herself
"Ah yes, Sirius mentioned you a few times. Called you fair and just," Jack snorted as he looked her over. "Personally I think you're blind and deaf after learning what's been going on in that hellhole you Brits call a school."
Amelia bristled at the implication that she had failed in her duty to the people of magical Britain, and she felt personally insulted, because it was a well-known fact that she was one of the few incorruptible members of the Ministry. "Well if that were the case then why would he have left all of his family's blackmail material to me to use as I saw fit?"
Jack shrugged his shoulders. "Maybe he thought if he rubbed your face in the dirt you'd turn into the guard dog he knew you could be instead of being one of those yippy lap dogs that you have been. Of course you never reacted to any of the dangers your niece was in before so I don't think the stuff Sirius left you will make any difference."
Amelia stiffened as if she'd been slapped. She had never failed to protect her niece! "What exactly are you talking about?" she growled. "My niece never mentioned any problems to me in or out of Hogwarts."
Jack snorted. "I guess you never actually asked her about school. I'm sure your niece would have told you about the rumors of attempted murder, the death of a teacher, the giant snake that turned people to stone, the Dementors attacking the Quidditch field, the teacher that tortured the students with blood quill and more shit than I want to get into. Or if she did tell you it went in one ear and out the other as you nodded your head like a bobble head doll while saying 'that's nice'."
"How dare you?" Amelia Bones sputtered. "I have always done the very best to protect my niece!"
Jack pushed himself off of his truck before stalking over to Bones. "And yet you never investigated shit. You never asked how Sirius escaped and now you have a whole bunch of nut cases running around following Mold in the Pants and killing people. You never investigated how that kid died during the Tournament or how Harry, a very much under aged student was forced into it. Have you ever actually looked into how things are run at that school? Have you ever actually questioned anything that old goat fucker ever said or do you worship the ground he walks on because he's Albus Fucking Dumbledore?"
Amelia forced herself to stand her ground against the American wizard who had suddenly gone from mild to threatening, while unobtrusively making sure her wand was still easily accessible in its sheath up her sleeve. "I had someone investigating the circumstances surrounding Black's escape, but found out only recently he was reporting to someone else and taking orders from him on what to tell me. As for the Tri-Wizard tournament, while it was not my area of responsibility, there was someone there I trusted to tell me if he found anything fishy... Alastair Moody. As for the mass escape, Fudge appointed a panel to look into it and I was forbidden to interfere or face the loss of my magic, because of the magical oath I swore when I took over as head of the DMLE. And I did try and keep up with what went on at the school given my niece was going there, but if you know anything about Albus Dumbledore, you know how well he controls what information goes in and out of that school. His staff is very loyal to him and would die before betraying him because of how they view him."
"Yep. Mind control is a wonderful thing. I'm assuming you didn't know that Moody was a fake and that the real one was locked away for the whole year while the fake one had easy access to your niece and all the other kids." Jack pointed out. "And actually I'm surprised you haven't lost your magic yet after all you swore to uphold the law but then again from what I understand in the British Wizard community, Dumbledore is the law. After all he says jump and just about everyone in magical Britain says how high on the way up. And yet for some reason you left your niece in that hell hole instead of transferring her to a different school."
Amelia again felt herself bristling at the implication that she was under Dumbledore's control. This man had no idea how things worked in Britain. She had always done her best behind the scenes to curb Dumbledore's power. She was quite proud of the fact that everyone knew that she was one of the few who would stand against the Chief Warlock if she felt he was in the wrong. He was a very well respected wizard among a large portion of the population of magical Britain for his defeat of Grindelwald and for his stands against You-Know-Who. Or, he had been until Fudge had done his smear campaign against the Headmaster and Potter but that trend was reversing now that the truth was out that the Dark Lord was indeed back.
Even though she knew it was going to sound like a weak defense, Amelia told him. "I was never informed of the things that went on at Hogwarts, even by my niece. The teachers at Hogwarts have always thought the Headmaster could walk up to a dragon and steal its egg and the dragon would let him and I'm afraid most of the children have been brought up with the idea that he was as great as Merlin. Believe me when I say that if I had known there was anything like what you have claimed going on, I would have had Susan transferred to Beauxbatons so fast everyone would think she had apparated out of the Hufflepuff dorms and I would have had Dumbledore and his staff up on charges."
"For some reason that doesn't fill me with much hope. The British magical community keeps promising to clean up their messes but all you do is keep making bigger and bigger messes. The last time Mold in the Pants was taken out, you Brits promised that you would get all his followers. And you did. But they paid you off and then went on their merry way until he came back. Wonder how many people they killed in secret while everyone looked the other way?" Jack commented.
There was nothing that Amelia could say to those charges, since they were mostly true. Though most of that occurred under her predecessor. She needed to get things back on track, because she had no idea how long it would be before Dumbledore reached the same conclusion she had about where Harry Potter had to be. "I am not here to talk about the past Colonel O'Neill. I need to discuss Mr. Potter with you. Based on the will that was read at Gringotts, you were chosen by his Godfather Lord Black as Mr. Potter's guardian. I needed to speak to you and Mr. Potter and make sure that you both understand that Albus Dumbledore is not going to stop trying to get the boy back from you."
"Oh I know what that goat fucker will do and exactly what he's capable of doing and he has no clue about what I can do and how far I'll go to protect Harry from him, Mold in the Pants or the rest of your inbred morons," Jack growled.
Amelia shook her head. "I don't think you understand Colonel O'Neill, just how much power Dumbledore can bring to bear in his attempts to try and retrieve Mr. Potter. I don't know how much Lord Black told you about the positions Dumbledore holds, but as Supreme Mugwump he can exercise power over magical citizens in any country if there is sufficient need and I have a feeling that he is going to try and use them to get Mr. Potter back from you, because from what I have observed he for some reason seems to think that Potter is needed to defeat You-Know-Who."
Jack smirked. "And I think you give the old goat fucker too much credit. Don't worry, Harry will be completely safe and then I'll deal with Dumbledore." Jack turned his back on Amelia as he pulled his keys out of his pocket. As he climbed in the truck he said. "And don't forget Ms. Bones there are others who would want a crack at Mold in the Pants and Dumbledore. I'm sure that the French, Germans and so many others would like to help destroy them for you."
As he pulled away Madam Bones stared after the truck, speechless.
Fortunately for Shacklebolt the days follow his meeting with Madam Bones kept him too busy to report back to Dumbledore since it gave him time to think about what she had said. Who exactly did he work for? The people or Dumbledore and who exactly did Dumbledore work for?
Dumbledore said he was working for the benefit of all but when Shacklebolt sat down and reviewed everything he knew he began to have some doubts.
Why would Dumbledore stop him from bringing Black to Madam Bones and having him dosed with Veritaserum? Why did he keep Snape at Hogwarts when the man hated children? Why would Black give Potter to a complete stranger instead of giving someone he knew his guardianship over Potter?
Shacklebolt kept swinging back and forth between his duty to the people and his duty to Dumbledore. The one thing that finally forced him to decide was when he heard a young Auror talking about a quote he saw on the wall of memories.
'When we place our duty to our faith, our family, our alliances above our oath to the law and to justice we dirty the name of Auror and everything we stand for.'
It was with this new belief in his duty as an Auror that Shacklebolt attended the Order of the Phoenix meeting at number 12, Grimmauld Place.
"Ah Nymphadora and Kingsley, it's good you can join us," Dumbledore said in greeting as the two Auror walking to Grimmauld Place.
"Headmaster," Tonks said with a nod of her head and grimace at the fact that he had used her first name. "And it's Tonks, sir. Things have been busy thanks to Sirius giving all the blackmail information he had to Madam Bones."
"Yes," Dumbledore said grimly. "Unfortunately by doing so, Sirius made it much more difficult for us to gather information."
"I don't understand, sir." Tonks gave the two men a confused look.
"He means we can't blackmail or use the same scum as we did before since they're now in jail," Shacklebolt told her.
Dumbledore nodded his head. "It would have been better for all if Sirius had left the information in our hands. After the war it would have been handed over to the proper authority."
Shacklebolt made an agreeing noise as he looked around the House of Black. "Where are the children?"
"Upstairs. Confined to their rooms for the duration of the meeting," Dumbledore answered as he walked towards the kitchen where the normal held the meeting.
Shacklebolt glanced up the stairs as he walked past them. "Good. I have some questions for young Mr. Weasley."
"What questions?" Dumbledore turned to look at younger man.
Shacklebolt waved off Dumbledore's concern. "Just some questions about Mr. Potter. Nothing too important; just hoping for a better understanding of the young man."
"I'm sure Miss Granger could answer them," Dumbledore suggested.
Shacklebolt shrugged his shoulders. "Maybe but there are some things boys just won't tell a girl."
As Shacklebolt took his seat at the table next to Moody, the older Aurors softly said, "And the fact you wanted to make sure that the boy didn't suddenly disappear into the bowels of that hell hole?"
"The boy did raise some interesting points," Shacklebolt commented in the same soft voice.
"That he did," Moody replied as Dumbledore started the meeting.
Dumbledore stood at the head of the table, looking down at those gathered around it. "Thank you all for attending. As you can see Nymphadora…"
"It's Tonks!" the pink haired woman growled.
"And Kingsley were able to take a few minutes away from their busy schedule as Aurors to join us," Dumbledore said as he ignored the conversation between Moody and Shacklebolt. "I think its best that we begin with my search for Mr. Potter. I have contacted a number of my colleagues across the globe in the hope that they might find Mr. Potter or this mysterious Jack person that Sirius left Mr. Potter with. From what I been able to determine, I believe that Jack is a wizard Sirius met shortly after escaping Hogwarts. Because of the type of birds Sirius used to communicate with Harry at that time I think it would be best for us to concentrate our efforts in locations close to the Equator; perhaps Brazil with its strong wizard community."
"That's a large area to search and not all of it is friendly to British wizards thanks to Grindelwald and You Know Who," one of the members commented. "This Jack person probably is someplace that would be more accepting to Harry and himself if this Jack person is British. I suggest we look first on at places that once were ruled by the British Empire. They're more likely to accept him."
"You mean like India?" Another member chimed in. "I'm pretty sure that they would stand out against the natives there."
"What about Australia and New Zealand," a third Order of the Phoenix suggested. "They would be able to blend in better."
"The wizard community in Australia is a very tight group. They would spot an outsider in a minute and they would gossip about them," Moody commented. "As for the New Zealand wizard community… they're a bit… touchy. Outsiders are generally not welcome."
"This Jack character could be an Aussie or an American," someone suggested.
"You're of course assuming that Jack is his given name and not a nickname or a perhaps has something to do with his profession," Shacklebolt suggested.
"Excellent points, all of them" Dumbledore declared. "So now I think it would be best to look in areas that have wizard communities that were once or still are under the control of the Muggle British government."
Dumbledore looked around at the nodding heads. "Severus perhaps you would enlighten us about Voldemort's actions and if he has an idea where Mr. Potter might be hiding."
"At this time the Dark Lord is of the belief that Potter has been kidnapped by an outside party. He is of the opinion that a foreign government kidnapped Potter." Snape stated. "However a few of the inner circle believe Potter vanished for other reasons."
"Money comes to mind. The Potter family was well off and since Potter was the sole heir any child born to him would stand to collect upon his death. Some think he's ran away to save his own hide." Snape let out a snort. "One of the lesser Death Eaters claims that Potter was spirited away by the love child of Death and Chaos. When the Dark Lord heard of this, he dealt with him... severely."
"Who does Voldemort suspect kidnapped young Mr. Potter," Dumbledore asked.
"The French," Snape answered.
"Why the French?" someone asked.
Snape gave the person who asked the question a look of disgust. "Because Potter rescued Gabrielle Delacour during the second task. And while her father Maurice Delacour is a simple businessman, his father is well known as one of the rebel leaders against Grindelwald."
"So Voldemort thinks that the Delacours had Potter kidnapped in order to train him as a way to repay the debt they think they owe him for rescuing their daughter," Dumbledore concluded.
Snape nodded his head in agreement. "He has his contacts in France looking for wherever the Delacours have hidden Potter."
"And if Potter isn't in France?" Shacklebolt asked.
"Bulgaria would be his next choice," Snape replied.
"Viktor Krum. The other champion," Moody supplied. "I doubt that the Delacours would be so foolish to use such an obvious choice."
"But sometimes the most obvious choices are the best," Dumbledore commented. "Bulgaria is a mountainous area with access to the Black Sea. It would easy to hide in the mountains and if necessary escape by sea."
A number of Order members nodded their heads in agreement.
"Arthur, I would like you to contact Bill and see if he can learn Harry's location from Fleur," Dumbledore ordered.
Arthur Weasley blinked a couple times before saying, "I'm not sure that would a good idea. I wouldn't want to endanger their relationship. Young love and all that. Besides I don't think her father or grandfather would have told her anything in order to protect her and Harry."
"Never the less, we need your son to find out what he can as soon as possible," Dumbledore replied before turning this attention back to Snape. "What else can you tell us about the Dark Lord's plans, Severus?"
Snape shook his head. "The Dark Lord is keeping any plans he has to himself," he admitted.
Dumbledore nodded his head. "Kingsley, Nymphadora…"
"It's Tonks," Tonks growled.
"Do you either of you have anything to report?" Dumbledore asked.
"Only if writer's cramp counts," Tonks commented massaging her hand. "With the information Sirius left Madam Bones, we're been able to solve a number of old cases no one ever thought that we would figure out. The robbery of Smithy's Jewelry that happened during the early part of the war. You know how everyone thought it was Death Eaters… well it turned out it was the owner's wife who committed the crime. She wanted to get her lover a gift but didn't want her husband to find out or to realize that their children weren't his."
A number of people gasped at the information.
"I always knew there was something not right with those children. They look nothing at all like Walter," one of the older male Order member said.
"But a couple days ago you swore that Walter's eldest was the spitting image of him," another Order member declared.
"I did not," the Order man who had made the comment exclaimed.
"I was there. You said it."
Dumbledore sighed wearily as the two Phoenix member continued to argue. It was only after the member who started the argument called the other person a 'son of a drunk albatross' that Dumbledore interrupted the argument.
"While this debate is very interesting we do have some business to conduct," He said before turning his attention back to Tonks. "Do you have anything else to report, Nymphadora?"
"It's Tonks," Tonks replied automatically. "There's a rumor about Madam Bones wanting to raid Knockturn Alley but no one knows when or if it will happen."
Moody snorted. "There have been rumors about a raid on Knockturn Alley since before I joined the Aurors."
Tonks simply shrugged her shoulders.
"Kingsley, do you have anything to report?" Dumbledore asked.
Shacklebolt looked at Dumbledore. "No, sir," he answered. "Everything is more or less like Tonks reported."
Dumbledore's eyes narrowed as he stared at Shacklebolt. "And what about Potter?" he asked.
"I'm sorry to say that there is nothing new to report. Madam Bones is of the opinion that Black undoubtedly picked someone he could trust with Mr. Potter, someone who could protect him and that by searching for him we could endanger him," Shacklebolt answered.
"And what is your opinion on the matter?" Dumbledore's nostrils flared slightly.
Shacklebolt paused for a moment. "That's Mr. Potter's safety should be our primary goal."
"So is that why you decided not to tell us that Madam Bones has located Mr. Potter," Dumbledore snapped.
"What?" Shacklebolt gave him a confused look.
"You know where Harry is?" Molly exclaimed. "Where is he? We have to go rescue him!"
"And we will, Molly," Dumbledore said, "But first I need to visit the Department of Registration to learn what country Sirius's friend has taken Harry to."
Shacklebolt stared at Dumbledore in surprise for a moment. "You used Legilimency on me!"
"Only because it's necessary," Dumbledore replied in a grandfatherly tone of voice. "The smallest detail, something you view as insignificant might be the one thing that wins the war against the Voldemort and this Death Eaters."
"And that gives you the right to poke around in our heads, to invade our private thoughts, without our permission!" Shacklebolt snarled.
"Voldemort be must be stopped at any cost," Dumbledore let out a tired sigh. "But perhaps you are right. I have allowed my desire to rid the world of this monster to cloud my judgment."
Those gathered about the table were silent for a moment.
"We understand, Dumbledore," one of the older members of the Order said. "We don't like it but we understand."
"But I don't," Shacklebolt growled as he stood up and walked to the door. He stopped at the door and turned back. "When I was a cadet I was taught that there was a thin line between right and wrong and that as an Auror I would have to walk that thin line every day. More than once I wanted to cross that line, to take out the monsters that threaten our world but there was one thing that stopped me each and every time…. My oath to the law. I swore I would uphold the law to the best of my abilities. I joined the Order in the hopes of fighting the corruption in the Ministry that allowed those monsters to walk free. Imagine my surprise when I found that same corruption exists inside the Order. Guess I owe Madam Bones an apology."
And with that Auror Kingsley Shacklebolt walked out the door, leaving the Order of the Phoenix behind some with very thoughtful expressions on the member's faces.
The group was silent for a moment before one of the members says, "A rather prickly person that one. After all it wasn't like Dumbledore was checking to see what bird the dear fellow last enjoyed."
"Oh shut up, Jonathan!" another member replied. "We really don't need to hear your opinion on the matter. We just lost a major source of information from inside the Ministry."
"Now. Now. There is no need to fight," Dumbledore said calmly with a twinkle in his eye. "Kingsley is under a great deal of stress right now and reacted without thinking. In a couple days I'll talk to him and I'm sure he will rejoin us."
"Not without apologizing first," Molly chimed in. "If he was my son I would scourgify his mouth for how rude he was to you."
Dumbledore nodded his head. "I'm sure he will, Molly. I sure he will."
Leaning back in his chair, Moody watched silently those who agreed with Dumbledore and those whose faces showed that they didn't but respected Dumbledore too much to speak against him. "Some days even the kings must fall," he said softly to himself.
Remus's eyes flickered over to Moody.
Jack pulled into the driveway of his ex-wife's home. As he climbed out of this truck, Dame McKnight met him.
"I think I pissed off the British Ministry," Jack said as he faced the older woman.
Helen sighed. "What did you do?"
"I let out my inner Sirius," Jack answered.
"You're inner Sirius?" Helen replied with a confused look.
Jack nodded his head. "You know that little voice in your head that tells you right from wrong?"
Helen nodded her head. "That's your inner Sirius?"
"Not exactly. He's more like the voice in my head that tells me when I should keep my mouth shut and then to open fire with both barrels. Which he seems to like to do a lot," Jack admitted. "Anyways he was kind of pissed when he met Madam Bones and he kind of let it loose and then reloaded a couple of times."
Helen snorted. "There is no such things as overkill. There is only 'open fire' and 'I need to reload.'"
Jack blinked a couple of times in surprise.
"Yes. Yes I read Schlock Mercenary," Helen said. "Wisdom comes from many places even from a Muggle online comic."
"The Evil Overlord list," Jack suggested.
Helen chuckled. "I'm so happy that the Dark Lords and Ladies never read that list. They might actually win if they ever did," she replied.
Jack snorted. "That is one thing you never have to worry about at least if A Dark Lord or Lady is anything like that clerk at the Department of Magical Registration. They're too arrogant to believe that people outside their little world might have a better idea than them," he commented.
Helen chuckled. "Yes. That is one person I can't see reading the list or even asking a 5 year old if there are any flaws in his master plan.
Jack cocked his head to the side with a thoughtful look on his face. "I always wondered if the good guys could bribe the 5 year old to not point out the problems with a plan?"
Helen shook her head. "It never worked for me when my children were that age. Somehow they always knew what to say and when to say it to create the most embarrassment possible."
"What's the Evil Overload List?" Harry chimed in after having snuck out of the house to join Helen and Jack.
"I thought I told you to stay inside," Helen said as she looked at Harry with a stern expression.
"Your team needs more training?" Jack asked.
"Never send a minion to do the really important work because they are easily distracted," Helen said as she took hold of Harry's arm and started to walk back towards the house.
"Why do you have minions, Dame Helen? I thought that only bad guys had them. And what is the Evil Overload List?" Harry demanded as he allowed Dame McKnight to drag him back to the house as Jack followed.
"It's a very important list you need to read. I'll have to try to find the heroes list and have you read that one too," Jack followed them inside. "That list saved my life a number of times."