A/N: Yeesh, do I take a long time to get these chapters up, or what? Anyway, as usual, I’m really sorry about the wait. I’d blame exams (true) and my computer crashing (…less true…), but we all know it’s probably crap. Hopefully this one’s a little longer, though. So…here’s the chapter!

Disclaimer: Been there, done that. Not mine, yadda yadda, I am slime on the bottom of JKR’s least favorite pair of galoshes, yadda yadda…

Chapter 4:

Like Mature Adults

As the bowl of fruit opened forward, Katie looked around her in utter amazement. The sheer number of house elves was overwhelming. She felt a sudden compulsion to bend over and pet one—no, wait, she was bending over and petting one. She was actually eliciting a very strange sense of satisfaction from this until she heard the elf snarling at her.

Oliver looked on in shocked bemusement as the tiny elf launched itself at her knees. “Don’t—not—aargh!” came a smothered shriek as the elf bowled her over.

As the elf began shimmying violently up toward her face, Katie finally realized that she had rather offended him by petting him like a dog.

“Oh, Merlin’s mother!” she blurted.

Oliver stared. Had she not already realized that she’d been tackled by a small creature in a pillowcase?

“I’m really sorry—what’s your name?”

“Mosie’s name is Mosie, miss.” Mosie blinked, startled at the odd interruption.

“Ah,” Katie breathed, staring at the large house elf eyes hovering over her face (yes, the ones that had five seconds ago looked like they wanted to string her up on a clothesline and beat her senseless). “Mosie, I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean it. I’m just really sleepy, is all. I’d been having this dream about my dog, you see—”

Oliver took the opportunity to haul the elf off of Katie. Tilting her head back to peer at him, Mosie seemed to realize that she had been trying to maul a student. Her eyes filled with horror. She turned quickly to beseech Katie (who was still lying stunned on the floor). “Mosie is sorry, miss! She doesn’t know what she can have been thinking! And Miss shouldn’t worry about…” she struggled for a word, “…stroking Mosie. Mosie just was not expecting it…” she trailed off awkwardly.

“Er, yeah,” Katie was almost positive that she hit her head on something. Something was throbbing…

Oliver shifted his feet and surveyed the kitchens. Clearing his throat, he asked Mosie, “Could we, erm, maybe have a smoothie?”

Mosie brightened considerably. “Of course! Anything sir and miss would like!”

“Did you say papaya or mango, Oliver?” Katie smiled goofily at the ceiling. Oliver watched her, worried.

“Papaya? Please?” he asked Mosie unsurely.

“Of course!” she shuffled off quickly. Other house elves who’d been watching the spectacle hurried off, pretending they hadn’t stared quite so obviously at the entire thing.

As Oliver continued to observe Katie (by now she had begun to convulse strangely), he pondered the possible after-hours punishments. Should he take her to the hospital wing at four in the morning? Eyeing the jerking movements her torso was making, he came to the conclusion that it would probably be worth a few nights of detention if it meant that his chaser was still in primo working order.

When Katie snorted, he finally realized that she wasn’t actually seizing on the floor in front of him. No, she was laughing.

Katie had a strange laugh, he decided.

Her laugh faded to something slightly more socially-appropriate. “I was just attacked by a house elf,” she gasped.

“You were petting a house elf. Stroking it, in fact,” he uttered blankly.

“I know!” She continued laughing madly. “What a fantastic fucking day! First, I read a letter from my Auntie Floe, and she told me that my cousin got a coin stuck in his nose…something about a dare, I’m not really sure…but all the same, I didn’t really need to know. Then I had a lovely quidditch practice, may my new broomstick live forever and ever. Then I heard you in the shower going, ‘Lucy, Lucy!’” Katie cackled as Oliver’s face contorted. “Then, you were naked, you sexy thang!” Oliver began inching toward the exit. “And then, somehow, I was naked!” Katie sat up abruptly, grinning at nothing Oliver could comprehend. “And now,” she paused dramatically, “I have been attacked by a house elf named Mosie.”

Oliver was nearly positive that she’d lost her mind. He’d take her to the hospital wing another time. Right now, he was just scared. He dived for the still-open still-life.

In a sudden, unforeseen move, Mosie appeared right in front of his escape with two glasses of something orange.

“Here is Sir’s smoothie.” His face crumpled. Another time, then.

Mosie handed the other smoothie to Katie, who had picked herself up off the floor. Finally.

Mosie disappeared, and Katie and Oliver sipped papaya in silence.

“So…” Oliver began after a few minutes.

Katie looked up, blushing. “Erm, sorry about that little speech, Ollie. Just got a bit overwhelmed, you know? And probably a bit concussed, too, now that I think about it…”

“No problem,” he replied, relieved that she seemed to have retained her mental faculties.

“Anyway, about that thing in the locker room earlier— ”

He interrupted. “I seriously think it might be better if we just forget about it. Be the mature adults that we are.” Because it’s mature to salivate over memories of what your teammate looks like under her PJ’s. Very mature to remember every detail of the way the water had dripped from her very wet hair down, down, gliding smoothly over every inch of damp, creamy skin that his hands wished to cover… Snap out of it, Oliver! Mature adults!

Katie looked relieved. “Me too.”

Why was he so disappointed, damnit!?

“Good.” They looked at each other. Oliver began to detect an itch behind his left ear. Katie fiddled nervously with her smoothie straw.

“Anyway.” Katie was first to break the silence this time. Oliver’s itch faded. “This is a really excellent smoothie, Ol.”

And the phantom itch returned. “Yeah, erm…” he sought desperately for a way to continue the conversation. “House elves. You know.”

Katie looked down to watch her sockless feet begin to dance nervously. Her left ankle suddenly kicked up behind her right, rubbing the back of her leg oddly. She felt all of four years old.

Oliver continued to wrack his mind for possible conversation starters. House elves? No. Feet? …creepy. Well, crap. He had to say something. He did his best to fix a confident smirk on his face. Like that ever really worked.

“So.” He stated brightly. Good lead-in. Really expert, Ollie. Now, go for the gold! “I have a bit of a business proposition for you, my dear chaser.”

“What’s that, Oliver?” Katie asked curiously. Internally, she celebrated. Thank Merlin above her feet had stopped.

“Well, I’ve been thinking,” he started again. “Here’s this huge kitchen, right?”

She nodded blankly. The kitchens really were quite obvious when one was standing in the middle of them.

“And the food’s really good. Due to the, um, house elves.”

“Yes.”

“Well, nobody really knows how to get inside them, do they? Apart from, you know. Fred and George.”

“I know this, Oliver.”

His neck began turning an unbecoming, splotchy red. There was no one who was quite so talented at making him feel stupid and discomfited as Katie Bell. “I’m getting to it!” he defended.

Katie was quickly regaining her confidence. She cocked an eyebrow.

The white splotches on his neck filled in with red, turning the whole thing a very vibrant shade of scarlet. Then, he was hit with a sudden stroke of absolute brilliance. He was, well, brilliant!

“Well, we could make a lot of money on this stuff! It’s worth its weight in gold! Don’t you see? Since no one can get to it themselves, we can get it from the house elves, bring it back to the tower at night, when no one’s around, and then sell it to the hungry rulebreakers of the school! For very cheap prices, of course.”

“Why Oliver, you sly dog…”

“It’s brilliant!” He cracked his most charming smile and pulled her into a waltzing position. “Shall we?”

“Of course, darling.” She tried on a sophisticated accent. “Wait. I don’t waltz.”

“Ah. May I suggest the tango?”

“Much better.” They took long strides around the room, each with one arm pointed stiffly out in the direction they moved and with their chins held high.

Katie couldn’t help it. Whenever they switched directions, their heads would turn. And since she was just a bit shorter than Oliver, being a girl, her nose couldn’t help but brush against his neck. And when she was that close, she really couldn’t help but smell him. Not in a strange stalker way, but just when she breathed…he smelled really, really good. Kind of the way she imagined Rafael would smell. Although Rafael would probably be a better dancer. Better dancer or not, though, Katie was having trouble imagining that his hands would be wreaking as much havoc on her as Oliver’s currently were. They easily burned through her thin cotton sleeping tank. The heat seared through her, almost making her wish…but no. This was Oliver.

Oliver himself was having a few issues. Considering the reason he was even up at that time in the morning, his proximity to Katie’s scantily clad body was probably not the most prudent thing in the world. He felt his breathing coming a little harder.

Katie tripped on a misplaced mop, and she stumbled out of Oliver’s arms. The haze in his mind cleared, and he was able to breathe.

“Shall we continue our dance another time, milady? Perhaps with better lighting?”

Katie smiled, already missing his arms. How strange. “Certainly, milord. Shall we for now gather our materials, and proceed to Gryffindor Tower?”

“We shall.” They continued such idle banter for another few minutes, after ordering as many items of food as they felt they could carry.

When she finally crawled into bed (after stuffing said items of food under the bottom of it—properly packaged, of course), Katie mulled over the night’s events. With a sleepy smile, she decided two things. First, the day hadn’t turned out so badly after all. Even considering the very detailed recounting of her cousin’s unfortunate nasal incident. And second…Oliver Wood had very manly hands.

A/N: How’s that for a chapter? Review, lovelies!