Okies, everyone, here is the epilogue- I mean, thrilling conclusion!! I hope it provides some sort of closure to this random, not-at-all connected story.

LAST DISCLAIMER!!: If I owned Harry Potter, I wouldn't have to keep resurrecting Fred, because he never would have died. RIP Fred, RIP.

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19 seconds later, Fred and George were already bored. They were in number twelve, Grimmauld Place, surrounded by the bodies of all their friends, relatives, frenemies, enemies, acquaintances, and all the cameo characters they had ever seen.

“Hey!” said George abruptly, walking over to the body of a youngish boy. “What’s Mark Evans doing with the Order?”

“Well, he was the Half-Blood Prince,” said Fred, starting to fall asleep from boredom.

“I thought that was Snape,” said George, looking confused.

Fred blinked, looking puzzled for a moment too. “Oh right,” he finally said. “Well, in that case, he was Harry’s half-brother, spawned from an illicit affair between Snape and Harry’s mom that she had from beyond the grave.” When George still looked bewildered, he explained, “He’s R.A.B.…”

“Ohhhh,” said George, looking satisfied. “That explains everything. But what are we supposed to DO now that everyone’s staying dead?!?”

The twins pondered for a moment, once again faced with the dilemma of perpetuating the human race without any females. But just then, three figures on broomsticks swooped down from the sky, bearing three familiar faces.

“Angelina!” cried Fred happily, reaching for his only true love… which was Angelina, and not George.

“Alicia!” said George, overjoyed to see his old Quidditch friend back from making sandcastles.

“NEVILLE?!?” the twins said together, startled to see the pudgy Gryffindor boy there.

“Hey guys!” said Neville cheerfully, waving at them.

The Weasley twins were confused again. They turned to Angelina for answers, since Alicia had spotted a mud puddle and ran off to jump in it.

“We were off playing Quidditch on Jupiter,” Angelina explained, “and we found Neville there and decided to take him back with us.”

“I was studying Jupiterian Herbology, thank you very much!” said Neville indignantly.

“Whatever,” said Fred, dismissing Neville with a wave of his hand. “But this is great! Now we can repopulate the planet!!” And he grabbed Angelina and whisked her off into his bedroom. George frowned, not least because that was supposed to be his bedroom too.

“Aw GREAT!” he sulked. “Now I’m stuck with the crazy girl!” He shot a scathing glance at Alicia, who was giggling with joy like a two-year-old.

“Well, if you don’t want her, I’ll take her,” said Neville hopefully. “She reminds me of Luna… back when she was alive, anyway.” Neville thought back sadly to the day in Chapter 2 when Voldemort had killed everyone on Earth – including Luna.

“Wait, didn’t you die in Chapter 2 too?” asked George.

“Yeah, but I came back to life. I’m in the Order of Da Phoenix now,” said Neville proudly.

“Sweet! Lupin used to be, but he’d been marked for death since like, Book 5,” George explained to Neville and the 12 rabid readers of the fanfiction, “so Da Phoenix let him go.” The two boys hung their heads sadly.

“But wait, if you take Alicia, that means I’ll end up alone!!!” George wailed miserably.

“No you won’t!!!!” George gasped as a girl with short, ADORABLE brown hair and glasses descended from the clouds and stood before him.

“Are you… Da Phoenix?!?” he breathed, looking at the newcomer.

“You betcha, handsome!” Da Phoenix said proudly, as she kissed him passionately. And since she was the Omnipotent Author, George had no choice but to fall madly in love with her too.

And so the Weasleys and Neville had millions of babies and filled up the planet: Fred and Angelina (who had merged into the single organism Frangelina) with their mischievous, red-headed babies; Neville and Alicia with their clumsy Quidditch-playing offspring (which, as it turned out, was a really bad combination); and George and Da Phoenix with their magical, HILARIOUS children. However, that was not quite the end of the story. Ohhh NO!

After the birth of their 35th child, Alicia was heartbroken to discover that Neville had been in love with… someone else for years.

“I can’t believe you’d do this to me!!” she cried while diapering their newborn, Dobby Voldemort Spinnet-Longbottom. “What about our CHILDREN?!?!? Was I just a marriage of convenience all this time????”

“Pretty much,” replied Neville, snogging his Mimbulus mimbletonia passionately. Alicia sobbed and threw herself out the window, forcing Da Phoenix to raise all Neville’s kids along with the 77 she had with George.

Fred and George looked happily at each other, surrounded by their millions of children and the women they loved… and Neville. “Only one thing to do at a time like this,” said George happily.

“Indubitably!” agreed Fred, as the Weasley twins exchanged their last high-five of the fanfiction.

But not of their lives, because they both lived FOREVER.

THE END!!!!!!!!!!!

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So I hope all of you still reading liked the story! Oh, and Neville came back for this chapter because I love him and didn’t want to go the whole story without him appearing more than once! So that’s what’s up with that. I’m not really sure what’s next for me… I actually want to tackle another, longer, serious piece. Soooo if you like me/ angsty George fics, keep an eye out for it! And I’ve also got an idea for a humorous fic featuring Voldemort writing an advice column… good idea or not? Feedback please!!

And don’t worry everyone! The fun that is “But What About VOLDEMORT???” can still continue… as long as you all REVIEW!!! I’m totally serious. I love reviews, and if there’s ever a SEQUEL… well, let’s just say I’ll have a starting point.

PEACE! ---Da Phoenix---