I just finished five hours of homework. I’m so happy. Fanfiction time!

Note: This fic is written in Edward’s POV. It doesn’t really have any timing in the series, but I guess it could take place during or after Eclipse.

Disclaimer: Twilight/New Moon/Eclipse belongs to Stephanie Meyer.

Have you ever watched clouds at night? The way they move, so much faster than the rainy gray masses of day. Wispy and black, like dusty cobwebs, they cling to the stars, threadbare, brushing past the moon. Celestial light is smothered for a moment, shadows swooping down to embrace the earth. As I stare out her window, a breeze flitters through the trees outside. A few golden leaves flutter soundlessly to the browning ground. Dying blades of grass dance in the darkness, taking on the appearance of a gloomy sea, wind rippling over the wave-like surface.

I tap my fingers against the glass between my cold body and the wintry night, fighting back impatience. She should be here soon. After all, how long could it take to brush one’s teeth? Two, three minutes? It seems much longer than that. Waiting for her is torturous. I have no idea why. I remind myself I have eternity ahead of us. I’ll have more than my fair share of time by her side. A few seconds of one single day should not matter… yet it does. I can only assume this is part of the madness they say comes with love.

Love.

I don’t know whether to feel ashamed or elated by the grin on my face. I should not be this happy being in love, especially not with someone like her- a human with her whole life to live. But you see, I am horribly selfish. I will take that life away. I can’t resist the thought of having her in my arms eternally. And she’s too foolish to realize what she’s giving up to stay with me. I wonder if that makes me evil, taking advantage of her blind adoration and impulsive nature. I shrug, the smile faltering only slightly.

It’s such a bizarre and new feeling to be excited about the future. I know there’ll be some hardship, but nothing that won’t be worth the end result. For in the back of my mind, I’d always dreaded the never-ending onslaught of “tomorrow”. Days had become a predicable haze one after another. Forever. I couldn’t stand the thought of living forever. Then Bella appeared.

Suddenly forever isn’t long enough.

Bella. Her name sings a song in my heart (or whatever it is I have). I’m constantly anxious about her well-being, instantly put at ease by her kind face, sent into a mental melt-down by the warmth in her eyes. She’s wonderful. Too wonderful. So silly and beautiful. I don’t deserve her, but isn’t that all the more reason to keep her to myself? Surely, it’s unforgivable. Just one more sin to add to my list of offences.

I hear approaching footsteps down the hall. One-two. One-two. One- I hear her stumble. There’s a small thud. Either she fell or walked into a wall. I can feel my forehead wrinkle, eyebrows contorted with concern. Oh, Bella…

I go to move away from the window. Knowing Charlie is asleep, I’m unwary of peeking out the door to see if she’s okay. Fortunately there’s no need. I hear her moving about again. Her heartbeat grows louder, and before I can become any more impatient for her arrival, she enters the room. It took only the blink of an eye and a few steps over to position myself behind her back. I adore her confusion as she turns her head every which way searching for me. When will she learn?

I lean forward wrapping my arms around her waist. She jumps at my touch and I chuckle. I gather a few strands of her chocolate colored hair in my right hand, the long locks slipping easily through my fingers. I smile as I whisper into her ear. “Bella.”

“Edward.” She responds with a slight edge. She twists around in my arms, pretending to glare. I can tell she’s not really angry- there’s too much light in her eyes. I’m about speak again when those very same eyes open wide, obviously drawn to something other than my face. I’ve learned by now Bella is not afraid of me (though some part of me still wishes she was). So then, what is she looking at?

I tilt my head back, my gaze traveling up to the archway of her bedroom door. There scurrying over the wooden boards is a spider. She’s white with dark stripes decorating her lengthy, thin legs. A rather nice change from the typical tiny black jumping spiders I tend to see hanging around. Bella obviously doesn’t share in my appreciation, her body ridged in my grasp. “You don’t like bugs?” I ask innocently, not sure if she’s in the mood to be teased.

She tries wiggling away from me, determined to put more space between herself and the eight legged insect. “Bugs are fine,” she refuses to look at me. “I hate spiders.”

“Hate,” Her body language is easy to read, “or fear?”

She freezes and I know I’ve caught her. I fight back another laugh. How can she be afraid of something so small and harmless, yet find it in her heart to love a vampire? No, she’s not foolish. She’s merely insane. I relinquish my hold on her waist and she darts across the room. However irrational her fear is, I don’t like to see her this way. I grab a tissue from her desk, take the spider gingerly from the wall, and return to the window. Spiders are rather durable, so I’m sure she was fine being tossed outside. Maybe a bit irked, but it doesn’t really matter. She was making my Bella uncomfortable.

“Thank you.”

Her voice is full of gratitude as I retreat from the window. I grin widely, taking a seat beside her on the bed. “I exist to serve you.” She blushes darkly and I take her heated face into my hands, placing a soft kiss on her full lips. When I pull away she gives me an odd look. I can’t place the emotion. I wait for her to express whatever it is she’s thinking. Oh, how I hate not being able to read her mind sometimes.

“Hey.”

She already has my attention. “What’s wrong?”

She shakes her head. “No, nothing’s wrong,” she meets my gaze. “I just have a question.”

More questions. That’s never good. “Yes?”

“Do you have any fears?”

Okay, not as bad as I’d dreaded. “Of course.” I entwine our fingers, hands resting peacefully in her lap. “I fear ever losing you.” The blush staining her cheeks darkens, but I can tell that was not the answer she was seeking. She pushes on.

“That’s not what I meant.” She looks down, playing with our linked grasp. “Don’t you have any phobias?”

Phobias? Well, I was sure there had to be a phobia concerning the loss of a loved one, but not wanting to sound redundant, I choose a different set of words, “I do.” We’re silent. She expects me to continue, but I don’t.

“Well…?”

A smile works its way back onto my face. “I guess it’d be more accurate to say I did.” Yes, past tense. I wasn’t afraid of it anymore. Bella looks ready to shake the answer from me. I will not make her wait longer. “Apeirophobia.”

Her blank uncomprehending expression says it all. Too cute.

“Apeirophobia,” I decide to elaborate, “is the fear of infinity.”

“Oh.” I can’t tell if she’s simply surprised or disappointed. Maybe it is anticlimactic. The room is quiet for us despite rattling windowpanes. Another minutes passes by before she starts talking again. “How’d you get rid of ape-api-appro-”

“Apeirophobia,” I finish for her. “And I didn’t get rid of it. You did.”

“Me?” She’s skeptical.

“Yes, you.” I close the distance between us, noses barely touching. Her minty fresh breath becomes shallow, intimacy constricting her lungs. “Bella…” I want to tell her to breathe, but take action instead, allowing air to flow between us. She pouts at my retreat, and not being able to resist that beautiful face, I swoop down to steal a kiss- too short for either of our liking, but enough to hold us over until I’m finished speaking. “Before you, I wasn’t sure if I could live forever, if I even wanted to. The world was boring, and I couldn’t see it getting exciting.” I confess. “Then, like an angel, you fall into my uneventful days, more than a distraction, demanding my full attention, my time, my heart.”

“Bella, with you, I can face whatever it is the future holds. I fear nothing but your absence.” I stare into her eyes, trying desperately to convey my emotions. I can only hope she understands. “You’ve changed everything.” Please, Bella, believe me. “I want to live now. I want to live because of you, for you, with you.” I am not afraid of infinity. Let me live forever with her and I won’t regret a single day. I’ll look forward to every tomorrow. “I love you.”

She laughs softly, pleased with what I’ve said. I watch her blink away a few tears, none of which escape. Smiling brightly, she gathers her thoughts, punching me in the shoulder. “Do you have any idea how corny you are?”

I feign offence. “I spill my heart and you mock me?”

Another delighted laugh leaves her lips, sweet music to my ears. She throws her arms around my neck, snuggling up against my chest. “Lucky for you I like corny.”

“I’m so relived.” There was a hint of sarcasm in my voice, but I guess there was some truth too. I fall back onto the bed, taking her down with me. Reaching over, I pull the crumpled blanket up from beside us, draping it about her shoulders. It shouldn’t be long till she’s too tired to stay awake. I begin to hum her lullaby, time ticking slowly by. Her dark lashes droop, resting to hide her deep eyes. I listen carefully as her heartbeat slows, as her breathing softens. Just as I think she’s asleep she mumbles out, “Edward?”

“Mm?”

“I love you too.”

I lean down to brush a kiss to her forehead. “I know.”

Thank you, Bella. I need nothing else. Those words sustain me more than you know. All I ever want is for you to love me, right now, and if possible, forever.

Eck. That was only the weirdest thing I’ve ever written (not plot wise, but writing style wise). I usually write in third person, past tense. I hope it wasn’t too painful to read. Feel free to correct my mistakes. Thanks a bunch for reading!

-SilverYouko300