Author: Seena58 PM
It was a fake reality, constructed from her memories. One shot. KazunexKarinRated: Fiction T - English - Angst - Karin & Kazune - Words: 1,845 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 2 - Published: 10-02-07 - Status: Complete - id: 3815873
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Disclaimer: I don't own Kamichama Karin or chu. Lyrics © Skillet, I believe.
Warnings: (possible) OOC-ness, general confusion, lack of time placement.
A/N: -laughs- My first real (attempt of a) KazunexKarin fanfic (to be posted), and it turns out like this. Hrm… writing style follows that of Paint, from Locked in a Cage and I'm aware that it makes next to no sense (you have to reach your own conclusions/interpretations). If you've been keeping up with what I've been doing lately, it's like… the other side of what could happen. So, uh… less deaths… if you know what I mean (if not…)
Used the prompt 'forgotten, but not alone' as the starting point; ended up somewhere else and couldn't do anything about it. Well, it could be worse.
(I need to figure this out / You've got your life
I got mine / But you're all I cared about)
(She stretched her arms out to the sky, grasping at thin air. The downpour had reduced to a drizzle, as her hair remained plastered against her face, her neck and down her back. Her clothes drenched, wrapped close to her frame.)
(A blond-haired man approached her, umbrella overhead, as he draped a coat over her shoulders; the umbrella protected them both from what was left of the rain as they continued to stand there.)
You're going to catch a cold if you keep that up. (His tone was light. Sounded almost… playful, to her ears; a fake reality constructed from her memories. A fool she was, to want it back so desperately.)
It doesn't matter anymore (she sounded like a child and knew it, but did nothing to correct herself) I mean, look at where we are.
(She waved a hand around their surroundings vaguely, to make her point. He didn't even bother to stop staring at her – to try and meet her eyes. But she refused to see into endless blue; a sort of perfection that almost sickened her.)
(He reached forward to touch her shoulder. Lightly. But she still flinched.) It still matters to me, Karin. I'd hate to see you sick.
(She laughed – practically a gurgle) We can't get sick here, Kazune-kun, or are you deluded?
(Although he reached out to her, to hold and try to reassure her, she stepped away; back into the rain. The droplets reminded her of something, although she wasn't sure as to what. Not only that, but it also masked the tears that ran down her face freely.)
Karin. (He sounded hurt. Almost too much for her to take.) Karin, I love you. You have to believe me.
I never once doubted you (she shot back) and it's not about that.
Then… what is it?
(The rain was easing – it left her, to deal with everything alone. Karin didn't want to be alone with what she had to face, but it was too late. She had to meet the situation head-on, or fall into a construction of reality that would slowly tear her apart within. It was already doing that.)
(She shivered – the cold was still real, after all – and gripped the coat closer to her, as her eyes searched the endless stretch of green and blue. Searched for inspiration, something to give her courage, but found none.)
(Gods of old, bygone myths, meant nothing now, she realised. Even so…)
Kazune-kun (she didn't want to say it, but knew she had to - no matter how many times she repeated herself, it still hurt like the first time) this isn't real. You're not him; the boy I fell in love and fought side-by-side with. You're a lie.
(Even though she didn't turn to face him, she could see his twisted expression of surprise and hurt. Karin bit her lip, tightened her hold on the coat, and continued to scan the land for something. Anything.)
How could you say that, Karin?
(The hurt. It was too much.)
After everything we've gone through. (He was pleading. He never pleaded.) Are you feeling alright? We have to go back now…
(Karin could feel his hand, settled on her shoulder. Without hesitation, she threw him off, all the while ignoring the tears that continued to fall.)
No! No, you're not him! (It wasn't him. It never was – a chant she kept with her since the day they had parted ways.) Leave me alone, you fake! Kazune-kun was never like this. (She couldn't seem breathe properly) Stop pretending to be him. I… I…
(What did she truly want? Karin wasn't sure anymore.)
(His eyes; a deep, mesmerising blue that threatened to take her away.)
(She staggered back.) Go away!
(He reached out to her, but she spun around and ran. She didn't even know if she could move – everything looked the same to her – but did anyway. Anywhere was better than close to the doppelganger of her Kazune, but she knew there was no chance of seeing him again.)
Shut up… shut up shut up!
(It seemed like hours before she finally stopped running, although it all looked the same to her. She gasped for breath, swiping a hand uselessly at her face to rid of the tears, as she turned to face the sky.)
(An endless stretch of pure blue. Like his eyes.)
(Since the day she had arrived, it had always been that way. It seemed like an untouchable, divine force beyond herself. There had never been anything like it: blue while rain fell forever – ranging from a downpour to a drizzle – only fading for a couple of hours before it returned. But she had never seen any clouds, or any reassurance that she was merely caught in a nightmare, to stop the fear that bubbled within her.)
(With her hair still plastered to her face, her neck, her back, Karin reached back into the sky to grasp air as she prayed: for something, anything, that would break the world she had become a part of and to bring back those who could reassure her that she was real, and it was not a lie, and there was something more.)
(The fake would eventually find her again, she knew, and the fact continued to tear her apart inside.)
Why? Why did it end up this way?
(She received no answer.)
(A pair entered the house of a good friend, who led them into the dining room.)
It's been a while now, hasn't it? (Her dark hair had been pulled back into a neat plait, as she nodded for them to get comfortable) How long has it been, now?
(The older of the two – the one with mismatched eyes – inclined his head, thinking it over) Almost four years, I believe. But it seems you've been well, Himeka-san.
Of course (she smiled. Still the same old Himeka, in their eyes) and you both look like life has been good; Jin-kun in particular, right? (She turned to face the person in question, who tipped his sunglasses forward to meet her eyes.)
Only if you like dealing with fans all the time (he murmured – his voice had a musical ring to it) but I'd rather hide for a couple of months and live life without the paparazzi.
Kind of too late for that (Michiru laughed, as he ducked to avoid being hit over the head) Yi-san has been doing well as well, hasn't she? We've been to see a couple of her plays since high school; she's really developed and the actors show her potential and growth.
(She nodded agreeably, as she headed for the kitchen) Miyon-chan and Karasuma-san have been doing really well, although we've only really just reached adulthood. Is tea alright with you two?
(Michiru smirked as Jin gave specific details of what he wanted to Himeka, before she disappeared to the next room. Left alone, the pair could only wait for their host to return.)
(By the time Himeka came back – a tray in her hands – she noticed that both Michiru and Jin had found the photos scattered about and were engrossed with them. Carefully, she set the tray down and joined them.) Have you found anything interesting?
You mean aside from the fact that you were a very cute child? (Jin tapped at a photo of Himeka with her classmates) Although we do want to ask about…
The girl next to Kazune-kun (Michiru finished, his mismatched eyes glued to a picture of her cousin, and the brown-haired girl who stood next to him.)
(Himeka picked up the picture in question and studied it, as she spoke slowly) Kazusa-chan and I found these while we were cleaning up Kazune-chan's room. He never wanted it to be messy, after all… (Refused to get teary. It had happened years ago.) And we just… sort of stumbled upon it. It was obviously important to Kazune-chan, and we couldn't just throw it away, so… (She shook her head helplessly.) I've tried, but I'm not sure…
Huh (Michiru picked up another photo, this time with Himeka present) why does it feel like I used to know her? You know (he glanced up at the other two) déjà vu? Maybe?
I know what you mean (Jin frowned at a third photograph.) This one has us with Kujyou and that girl again. I don't get it.
(Himeka closed her eyes – received nothing more than shadowed, blurred figures – and then turned back to the present. Reality) Do you want some tea now, before it gets cold?
(Dropping the photo in his hands, as if burnt, Jin agreed readily, as Michiru gave one last look at the photos scattered across the polished surface.)
I wonder why it feels so important now…
Michiru, get over here! (Jin frowned in his direction, foot tapping against the carpeted floor. Himeka had taken a seat, still puzzled over the photograph she held; clearly hoped to unlock what it held within.)
(He left the photos where they were and joined his friends, yet felt memories from too long ago; they wanted release, acknowledgement. But he was unable to give it, as they had their lives to live, and the past no longer seemed to concern them.)
Nothing more than blurry images, you know. (His closest friend, still the idol everyone loved, knew how he thought and felt about it.)
(It seemed they had faced something together, but could no longer remember or recall it; the girl – the one with brown hair and pretty, green eyes – also seemed to be an important factor, but it didn't matter to them.)
(No more. No more.)
(A name, whispered – a sound that escaped her before she had known it had happened. But that was all it was; a name, and nothing more.)