Disclaimer: Nope, I don't own them.

Ok, so here is another one-shot from me. I hope you guys like it. The song, of course is Water Bring Me Water by Shania Twain. Yes, I like Shania and I think a lot of her songs are perfect for EO.

Anyway, this story is from Kathy's point of view. It's meant to show Kathy's dislike of our favorite female detective. Alright, because you want Liv and El to go smooch in the crib, the interrigation, the bedroom, and even the janiter's closet, you'll review. Enough of my words, read the story!

Love,
Butterz

I sat on the edge of the bed, fingering a lock of hair. I spent three hours working on my hair and make up, and trying to pick out the right dress. All I really want is to feel beautiful tonight. I want Elliot to give me that reassurance that we are still together, as husband and wife.

I got up and looked out the window as I heard the sound of Elliot’s car pulling up to the front of the house. Excitedly, I jump up and hurry to the door. Grabbing my purse, I open the front door to find Elliot standing there.

God he looks handsome. I thought, giving him a once over. He is dressed in a tux. Smiling, he holds his hand out for me and I take it. Grinning, I let him lead me to the car. Before he opens the door for me, he kisses me gently on the lips. I feel the butterflies in my stomach, like I was eighteen again and going out with the hottest guy on the football team.

As he gets into the car on the drivers side, he asks me where I want to go. I tell him to take me to our favorite place, where we used to go all the time. A nice Italian restaurant where there is sure to be no distractions from our alone time.

Since our separation, we had come to a mutual agreement. He keeps his personal life at his apartment, and I keep mine at the house. We both are still married and he gets to come see the kids whenever he wants to. But we didn’t stop the divorce, just paused it.

Once we arrive at the restaurant, we sit at a very private booth with plenty of view of the rest of the room. No one can see in, but boy can we see out. The waitress hands us our menus and we begin looking at them without making conversation. Suddenly, I look up to find Elliot staring over my shoulder.

He took me to - our favorite spot
A place we go to hang a lot
Something seemed to catch his eye
over my shoulder
over my shoulder

I turn my head to see what he’s staring at, and boy am I in for a shock. Detective Olivia Benson, my husband’s partner and I sure she’s his part time lover. You know, a friends with benefits type of thing.

I had never seen her here before, and I didn’t plan on it. This was my place to spend time with my husband. Angrily, I turn back and snap my fingers in front of his face. He comes out of his trance and stares at me.

“What?” he questioned.

“Tonight’s our night, El.” was all I said before turning back to the menu. Not two seconds later is he staring at that…that…thing.

I turned around - to see what’s up
A pretty young thing sure enough
She was new - he wanted to
Know her
Know her

I rolled my eyes and looked over at her, sitting there laughing at the joke her friend made. Is that Casey Novak, the ADA? I watched as they laughed. They were both dressed casual, so I didn’t come to the conclusion they were…yeah. You know what I mean. They must just be here as friends.

Casey turned around and spotted Elliot and me, then turned back to Olivia. They laughed again. Olivia smiled her awful little smile that Elliot seems to love so much and she stands. Grabbing her purse and flicking her hair out of her face, she stands and winks at me…no…at Elliot.

Oh, yeah
then she flicked her hair
Oh, yeah
he began to stare

Elliot shifts uncomfortable in his seat, and I know what’s going on. You know how most women say, “I don’t care what goes on in your pants as long as it stays there”? Well I don’t think that. I kick Elliot’s shin and his head jerks towards me as he grips his leg under the table.

“What the hell?” he grumbled. I smile sweetly and turn back to the menu. While he’s decided what he wants for dinner, I haven’t. Once again, his attention is focused at the table where Olivia has returned to. I watch him shift unconsciously again and roll my eyes.

A waiter passes by and I flag him down.

Waiter!
Bring me water!
I gotta make him keep his cool
Bring me water!
He's acting like a fool
Bring me water!

As the waiter disappears back into the kitchen, I shift to the edge of the booth to block his view of the vile brunette he keeps staring at. Unfortunately, he moves as well, continuing to stare. I decide to give him a piece of what I can give him.

I grin, slipping my stiletto clad foot between his legs. Thank god for table clothes. As my toes come in contact with his boys, he jerks his head towards me, shocked at my actions. I had never been one to do something like this, but right now I’m desperate for his attention.

“Kathy, stop.” he growls pushing my foot away from his package. I smile sweetly and settle my foot back where it was, finding it kind of comfortable for me. Not so much for him. I hear him growl as I wiggle my toes to keep his focus on me. He just rolls his eyes and continues to stare at Olivia. I can tell he’s hot and bothered. Excellent.

After a minute of me playing with him, he pushes my foot away and closes his legs, denying me access. That’s fine, I settle my foot on his lap the heel of my shoe putting a tiny amount of pressure on his boys. It makes him squirm, but he still stares at Olivia.

Angry, I pull my foot away and cross my arms over my chest.

Uh, oh, I did my best - to block his view
But it was like he could see right through me \
I just knew - he wanted to
Hold her
Hold her

Oh, yeah
I ain't gettin' nowhere
Oh, yeah she's still standing there

Waiter!
Bring me water!
I gotta make him keep his cool
Bring me water!
He's acting like a fool
Bring me water!

As the waiter brings the water to the table, I smile and ask for a little more time to decide. Elliot is now grinning. I turn back to see Olivia making googly eyes at him. Damn her to hell, the stupid… I better quit while I’m ahead.

The waiter comes back and I order pasta for me and Elliot orders a plate of spaghetti with a side dish of Olivia. Literally he said that. And the stupid waiter thought he meant me.

There's gotta be a way to cool this clown
he's starting to embarrass me
I may even have to hose him down
bring me water
I don't know what he finds so distracting
what's so hot about her
I really don't like the way he's acting
Bring me water!

Now I’m pissed. Olivia is actually coming over here. She saunters over, a grin on her face. She leans down and put she hand on the edge of the table. Her shirt is showing too much cleavage right now and Elliot has spotted it. That’s all he can keep his eyes on.

“Nice to see you Olivia.” I fake a smile and poke my fork into my pasta.

“Hi Kathy, I better get back to my dinner. Me and Casey are going over a case.” she smiled and turned around, walking back to the table. I watch Elliot stare at her ass through her jeans, and that’s the final straw. Angry, I grab the pitcher of water and dump it on his lap. The equivalent of a cold shower. Olivia hears the commotion and runs over to help Elliot.

Angry, I leave the restaurant in the car. Leaving him with no way to get home, and a really big bill to pay. I laugh. Maybe he’ll learn his lesson.