2stupid: Yes, we’re not dead. Blame the homework.

Tensa-chan: Just read the story. Before we forget what we type.

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Summary: Hanatarou knew he shouldn’t have asked, but it had seemed like a good question at the time; where does Soul Society get its food?

Disclaimer: If we owned Bleach, Nel would be Ichigo’s mother Masaki’s incarnation. Since she obviously isn’t, then we don’t own Bleach, do we? Hey, what are these plans for?

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Where Does Soul Society Get Its Food?

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Hanatarou gulped. He was afraid of this.

He had been accepted as the seventh seat of the Fourth Division. He was weak (not that he really cared about that part. Just the grunt work).

On the good side, Unohana-taichou was a better captain than, say, Kenpachi-taichou, and he should be fine, as long as he stayed out of being involved in plots by rogue Captains to kill off pretty, adopted noble girls and to create a new breed of superHollows.

Who was he kidding? That was never going to happen! (And of course, when Kuchiki Rukia was convicted and he was sent to clean her cell, he became understandably nervous.)

However, his class went on a celebratory party to one of the Soul Society’s few restaurants.

Which brought up the question of how Soul Society got its food.

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Hanatarou gulped. He had no other choice but to ask his beloved Captain; his guarded queries elsewhere had met with blank looks and careful distractions, and he hoped Unohana wouldn’t kill him for asking.

“A-ano, Unohana-taichou?” He asked, relatively relieved by the fact his voice hadn’t squeaked. (Later he was to realize, to his horror, that that had only been prevented by a chance canceling-out of his voice breaking and squeaking at the same time. He hadn’t stepped out of his room until the change was done, in which- but that’s not important.) He sweated nervously as the hot noon sun beat down on his dark hair and shihakushou.

“Yes, Hanatarou?” Unohana asked gently.

“Ummm… ?” He squeaked.

“I’m sorry? Did you ask where Soul Society gets its food?” Unohana asked gently, smiling softly.

“Ye-y-yes.” This time his voice was a croak. He fidgeted nervously.

“Oh, that. It’s grown out on the farms, especially the food for the Seireitei,” Unohana replied sweetly.

“Where? I haven’t seen any,” Hanatarou wondered aloud, realized his Captain had heard, and made an unmistakable noise of distress.

“It’s okay. I’ll show you where,” Unohana offered. Then, before Hanatarou could protest, she opened the sliding door. “Isane! I’m going to show the seventh seat Yamada Hanatarou where the farms are! Please log our absences!”

“Absences?” Hanatarou echoed nervously.

“Don’t worry, Hanatarou, it’s just a bit of a trek; Fourth Division handles the food around here, so we have our own secret route.”

“Ahh,”

“Okay. Let’s go,” Unohana offered, swinging her oversized zanpakuto over her shoulder, where Hanatarou eyed it nervously.

With that, Unohana walked directly outside her office, pulled up a flagstone in the abandoned alleyway behind, and exposed a heretofore hidden tunnel.

“Come on,” she said cheerfully as she entered.

With a nervous smile, Hanatarou followed.

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They walked. And walked. And walked.

They walked for so long that even Unohana-taichou, who was known for her patience, broke into the occasional shunpo and muttered about paperwork into the darkness.

Hanatarou wondered how long they were gone.

When they finally left the tunnel, it was morning and they were at a remote location Hanatarou had never seen before. The place was definitely a farm, but it was so far away from the Seireitei that even the shining white towers were absent. Hanatarou realized that they were beyond even the limits of Soul Society now.

“This,” Unohana said cheerfully, “Is the farm. It is warded from Hollow attacks, of course, but it is not surrounded by sekkiseki, which is bad for plant growth.”

“So this farm feeds the entire Soul Society?” Hanatarou asked, amazed.

“This and other farms like it. This is partially why we Shinigami are so powerful; there are other reasons, but this one is fairly important.”

“It’s amazing,” Hanatarou said with feeling.

“Yes, it is.” Suddenly, Unohana turned to him, entirely serious. Hanatarou fully expected her to tell him that the Soul Sociey had been run over by Hollows and that they were now the only Plus souls left, but she did no such thing.

“This is the greatest secret of the Fourth Division. We do not tell anybody, especially not the other Divisions, and never, under any circumstances, the Eleventh Division. This is also why the Fourth Division, despite its less-than-pleasing reputation, has the fewest number of Shinigami transferred out. And now that applies to you. The secret will never get out. Never. Understand?”

Hanatarou gulped, then nodded. Hadn’t he vowed to stay out of dangerous secrets when he entered the division?

Well, it was too late now.

“Good,” Unohana said, once again cheerful. Hanatarou was reminded of a person with multiple personality or bipolar disorder before he squashed that thought. “Now, I would love to enjoy the view, but I’m already stocked up on my special tea ingredients and probably have a desk full of paperwork and a hospital full of Eleventh Division members back home since Kenpachi-taichou decided to train yesterday, so I don’t have an excuse. Why don’t we go back?”

Hanatarou thought despairingly of the long walk home and nodded sadly.

He knew he shouldn’t have asked.

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Done! I hope you liked it. It popped up in my head about thirty minutes ago when someone asked me where I wanted to eat. Naturally, I skipped out on going to my favorite restaurant and finishing my homework in order to type this up for you.

Aren’t I nice? Now please review. I want to know what you think about this.