Title: Unleashed fantasy of fan girl
Based on: KH and crazy fan girls
Pairing: Leon/Cloud, what else?

Warnings: Weird humour, bad grammar (English is not my first language), curses and a kiss between two man and CRACK, bad CRACK

Disclaimer: Don’t own.

I have watched some clips from KH and Cloud is such an emo in some of them. So this is just something, which I started to write and it just went wild. I hadn’t had any control over it. I don’t regard this as a fan fiction, but I don’t know how to call it. Maybe a crap, but funny crap, at least to me.

“Cloud, what’s wrong?”

“I just...” bows his head. “I just…”

“What?”

“I just…”

“What!?”

“I just…”

“WHAT the FUCK is wrong with YOU?”

“I just…”

Tries to slap him, but he snatches his head away.

Yells: “ Yours “I just, I just” pisses me off. At least you could stay still. But NO.”

“I just…”

Explodes. “YOU. JUST. WHAT?!!!! God damn, can’t you say: “I have some problems, with which I had to deal on my one”, instead of yours “I just”?”

Nods. “Yes I could do that.”

Calms herself down. “You do that.”

Than she remembers, IT’s Cloud and jumps on him.

“What the fuck?”

She clings on him tight, so he can’t pry her off, no matter how much he tries.

“Get of me.”

“No.”

Leon comes by, stops and stares at Cloud, which has a pendant around his neck in the form of one crazy (I’m not crazy) fan girl.

“Do you need any help with that?”

Cloud looks at him, looks at the fan girl around his neck. He doesn’t normally accept help, but this time, he decides, he will make an exception.

“Yes, please.”

Leon seizes her waist and tries to pull the girl down from Cloud. In vain. (What did you expect? I have a strong grip if I want to.) Tries again and again, with no result.

“You are one fine griper,” Leon gives the girl a compliment (thank you very much), after he gives up of prying her away from Cloud.

“What? You are giving up?” Cloud asks him.

On Leon’s nod, he cries. “You are not leaving me here, not like this!”

Fan girl is grinning and occupying herself with the problem, how could she jump on Leon, without leaving Cloud, or better yet, how could she make the two of them to kiss and grope each other.

“What can I do?” Leon asks Cloud.

“Oh…you could DO something.” Fan girl drops in their (modest) conversation with an even bigger grin on her face.

“Like what?” Leon carefully asks, like he knows that that DO is going to be something he is not going to like.

“You could kiss Cloud.”

“WHAT?!” is a two-voice respond.

“…with the tongue.” Adds the fan girl. “If you do that, I will let him go.”

“I’m not doing that,” says Leon.

“Nor am I,” adds Cloud.

“As you wish,” said fan girl to Cloud and squeezed him, so tightly that he can hardly breathe. “Now, try to fight Sephiroth with me around your neck.”

Cloud sighs. He knows she is right. He could never beat Sephiroth with her dangling from his neck.

“OK,” he gives in after some thinking.

“No way,” says Leon. “I’m not going to stick my tongue in your mouth, and there is now way I’m letting your tongue in my mouth either, who the hell knows where you have been sticking it.” That said, he turns and tries to walk away.

“I bet, that in less places then yours,” responds Cloud, little insulted by Leon’s words. Like this was his idea.

“What to do, what to do,” mutterers the fan girl, there is NO way she is going to miss a chance to see Leon and Cloud groping each other. NO WAY. There is a beaming smile on her face when she figures out. She is in fantasy world, right? And in fantasy world everything is possible, right? So she duplicates herself. And before Leon has made three steps away, there is copy of fan girl hanging on his neck.

“WHAT?”

Fifteen minutes had passed in which Leon has been desperately trying to get ride of the hanging thing around his neck.

Cloud becomes a little bored and that pendant around his neck is a death weight, which is not becoming lighter. (Ej, I resent that)

“How much longer do you need, before you will realize that there is no way, you can be ride of her?” he asks Leon. “We both tried and in vain, didn’t we?”

Fan girls nods on that. “So what do you say, you two. Fifty kisses and groping in exchange for your freedom,” they say in one voice.

Cloud and Leon weren’t enthusiastic about the number, so after some negotiations it came down to ten kisses and groping. They tried to get out of groping too, but the fan girls were pretty obstinate about that, so they had to give in, there was no other choice.

So now they are standing against each other, both uncomfortable and a little skittish. How should they begin with this, are theirs thoughts.

“Come on, come on. We don’t have all day,” the two fan girls become impatient.

“Shut up,” Cloud yells at them. “Can’t you see? I’m trying to concentrate. This is not an easy task.”

“Yea,” adds Leon. “Shut up you two.”

“It would be easer to fight Sephiroth. Actually I would prefer to fight Sephiroth,” Cloud mutters.

Leon heard him. “What did you say?”

“Nothing, nothing.”

He would prefer to fight Sephiroth than kiss me. How dares he, was Leon annoyed, he will show him, he is a good kisser. He will show him.

With that in mind, Leon has grasped Cloud’s collar and leaned closer. His lips were on Cloud’s.

First just the gentle tender pressure, like touch of butterfly wings, coaxing, then more powerful. A bite on the Cloud’s lower lips, followed by suction.

“The tongue. Don’t forget the tongu,.” are fan girls excited, but nor Leon nor Cloud hears them.

Leon has been felling Clouds surprise, which he uses to open his lips and advances in the unknown territory.

There was a silent moan extracted from the blond man, whose arms are now wrapped around Leon’s waist, pressing him closer. Their tongues meet in a dance, slowly tasting each other.

Leon’s hands move from the collar and found their way in the blond hair, moving through them, caressing the nape. The swirl of emotions that awakes in him, swepts him away from any rational thought. The only thing he was capable of thinking, is how good it feels to be press close to Cloud, to feel his silken hair under his fingers. And those small circles that blonde’s hands are doing on his back had him moan in pleasure.

Their kiss becomes more passionate, their tongues meeting, parting like two dancers, who dances on wild, savage music. The hold on each other more vigorous, more desperate. Theirs bodies are lacking air, but neither of them wanted to cease the kissing, until the burning feeling has spread in their chests. They part, panting. Their faces still near, their arms still wrung around each other.

“If I knew that…” blond grasps for air.”… I would pounce on you long time ago.”

When Leon tries to respond, Cloud size his chance and plunges in his mouth, engaging him in another kiss. Hands going under brunette’s white shirt and wandering across taut muscles.

“Oh, my.” The copy of fan girl sighed and started to fan her self.

“Exactly. I think we should congratulate our self, for a job well done. And maybe rent them a room.”

“Yes, we should. On both accounts.”

“What is happening to you?” Fan girl notices that her copy is starting to melt.

“I’m just the copy and I’m not resilient like you to such hotne…” There was just a small puddle of water, where copy was standing.

“Oh well,” says the fan girl, then she sees Leon groping Cloud’s ass.

“Oooo that IS hot.” She starts to melt too.

“No. No. Goddamn. It’s not fair.” She tries to stay solid, so she can watch them more, but in vain. “Fuck. I wanted to see some …….”