|Shinigami School for Dummies
Author: reno385 PM
An alternate universe where all the main characters are students at the Soul Reaper Academy and the captains are teachers? That's messed up. Strange and random, but with a plot. RR please! :Rated: Fiction T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 7 - Words: 9,972 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 04-27-08 - Published: 10-09-07 - id: 3828419
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Disclaimer: Rien n'est à moi... pas Bleach, pas Soul Society, non plus Rukia... ah ma chère Rukia! Que je te veuille...
A/N: Wow, it's been months since I've updated. Just wanted to let you all know I'm still alive and I still haven't given up on this story. To tell you the truth, these days I'm more into Death Note. Awesome show! But this one's great too, definitely my no. 2 favorite anime.
As far as when I'll be able to write... even after I graduate from high school next month I'll be going right to boot camp and tech school from June till November (yeah I'm in the air force now... but just as a reservist) but I figure after all that I'll have more free time when I move away to go to college.
But anyway, I digress. Here's chapter 7! :) Enjoy it, it might be the last one... oh and if you forgot Kame is my OC who is basically me.
Ichigo, Renji, Kame, and Uryuu made their way out of the dormitory hall (the randomized means of exit was implosion-inducing gravity... not a personal favorite) and back out into the warm, sunny gardens of the Academy. From their they walked, and walked, and walked some more until they finally got to the entrance and walked out into the Seireitei.
"So what do you wanna do?" Kame asked, scratching his chin. "You wanna give hobos fake welfare checks and watch them try to cash them again?"
Renji shook his head. "No, the bank people chased us with pitchforks last time we did that."
"True... that's not something we want to repeat."
They wandered around for a few minutes until coming across an Internet café which they entered. They were seated at a round, four-chair table, each chair with a laptop in front of it on the table as the waitress took their order.
"How do you keep these computers powered?" asked Uryuu. "I don't see any wires."
"It's magic, silly!" answered the waitress. "Oh, wait. I mean it's made of spirit particles that lets it act with other computers and things like that."
"Yeah, that's the legal answer," muttered Ichigo as she walked away. "Well it's good to have a chance to surf the web. At home I never get a chance on the computer because my dad's always downloading recipes."
"Does he like to cook?" asked Uryuu.
"Yeah. What he does is he takes all the recipes in a pile and burns them to make a fire to cook his boar roast over."
"Why does he have to use recipes? Why can't it just be regular paper?" In response, a cloud formed next to Ichigo's head from which appeared his faithful father.
"Because it adds extra flavor!" exclaimed the man. Ichigo swiftly swung his arm upwards, hitting his father in the face with his fist. "Stay out of it!"
He rubbed his bleeding nose tenderly. "Why you gotta be like that? Why can't you just love me?"
"Go away!" Ichigo flapped his hands at the cloud until it dissipated into air.
Renji and Kame, in the meantime, had been scrolling through websites. "Hey look at this," Renji pointed out. " Fanfiction. net – unleash your imagination. I wonder what that's about."
"Sounds like something for losers who have nothing better to do," answered Kame. "Although I somehow feel as though I'm familiar with it. As if I have an alter ego who comes to this website."
"That doesn't even make sense."
Yeah but you know how I just love referencing myself in this story.
"Huh?" Renji looked around confused. "Did that stool over there just talk to me? Or was it... the voice again?"
"I've actually posted a few stories on this site," Ichigo said. He leaned over to Renji's computer, typed in a link, and pressed 'enter'. A profile screen came up.
action: Feed. Send Message. Subscribe. Favorite
beta: Beta Reader Profile
since: 02-21-06, id: 777777, Profile edited: 12-08-07
Author has written 2 stories for Death Note, and CSI: Barbie.
Renji raised an eyebrow. "CSI: Barbie?"
"It's a good show. Click on 'feed' by action. Feed me!"
Renji did so, and as he did a cupcake appeared out of the space in front of Ichigo. "Sweet!" He ate it happily. "Go look at my stories too!" He scrolled down past the profile to the stories list below.
1. Luck of the Draw reviews
Light and Ryuzaki are stuck on a game show and the host is Ryuk! How will these rivals work together to win the prize? Read and find out! Please review because I crave human interaction.
Renji blinked. "Do I... want to read this?" Uryuu shook his head. "Knowing Ichigo, you probably shouldn't."
"I'm bored now," stated Kame decisively, "and thus by association so are the rest of you. Let's go find something else to do."
They wandered a bit farther down the bustling avenue until they arrived at a bar with two large men standing on either side of the doorway on the inside of the building.
"That's looks like fun..." Ichigo glanced at the sign next to the door. "Under 210 not admitted..." He pondered. "If I grew a beard would I look 210?"
"It would have to be a really, really long beard."
Kame stepped forward. "Ha, never fear! I'll get us in there." He popped his collar and walked towards the doorway. "Just let me work my charm on these guys..."
Three seconds after he entered the building, Renji had to step aside as he was thrown out the door, landing on his face.
"I believe I came in with a hat!" A chapeau was then thrown out from inside the door. "Sweet, free hat. Holy crap! Beat it!" They sprinted away as the two men gave chase.
They spent the rest of the day walking around the Seireitei, seeing the sights. They arrived at the Academy doors at dusk. As they entered, they saw Chad, Orihime, and Tatsuki talking. They greeted the four as they approached.
"Well today was fun," said Orihime.
"What'd you guys do?" Ichigo asked.
"Oh, we had a girls' day out with Rukia," she answered. "And we just came back, which is why we're here in the annex for no other apparent reason."
"Why is Chad here then?"
"Because I've only gotten, what, like three lines in this story so far?" said Chad, annoyed. "It's about time I did something. You guys just hate me 'cuz I'm black."
Tatsuki scratched her head. "Black? I thought you were Mexican? I'm confused..."
"Well, anyway," Ichigo interrupted, "today was a good day and I'm sure it will end good too."
"AAAARRGHHH!! Watch out! Run-away golf cart!" Keigo came barreling at them on a golf cart over which he apparently had lost control. Everyone dodged out of the way except for...
"Ichigo! Look out!" But it was too late. Ichigo was hit dead-on and knocked unconscious. That night, Ichigo was put on his bed to rest and Keigo was put on dormitory probation, keeping him locked away in his dormitory and permitted to leave only to go to class for three weeks. It was all on his schedule's predicted status: Recreational equipment-related Catastrophe.
Ichigo woke up the next night. Because he was unconscious when he was supposed to get his uniform, Uryuu got it for him. As Ichigo awoke, he sat up and looked around to see everyone else sleeping soundly in their beds, and that the clock read 3:32. With a great sigh he fell back onto the bed and went back to enjoy the few hours of sleep before getting up the next day.
Classes were finally starting... and it only took seven chapters to build up to it. Man, I'm a slow writer. Well that's it for this chapter, expect chapter 8 within the next month, maybe sooner. Reviews please and again sorry for the time constraints!