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A/N: You’re all awesome, and I’m glad people do read this, even if they don’t review.
Ar Tonelico: Rite of Slumber, Pt. 2
Ign Saradorn
Chapter 30- The Somnambulist
(At Night in Bruha Monastery)
After Father Cupley took the heroes into the specially-prepared chapel room with the entire cloister of monks gathered there already, he strode up to his brass podium and beamed at his audience.
“Tonight is a glorious night indeed, my brothers and sisters in the Trio of Elemia! For it is not just our yearly Testicle Festival; it is also the very moment we have been freed from our duty!” Glowing with thanks at the party, Cupley continued, “What a truly opportune and blessed time we find ourselves in! Today marks the arrival of a new era of life for us; our chains of binding have finally been lifted, so we can new freely study the texts of Elemia without any interruption!”
“Another new era speech?” Misha asked Jack in a whisper, nudging him in the ribs.
He grinned. “Well, what can I say? I just inspire people to want make a radical change that lasts a thousand years every time I walk in a room!”
“Oh really, Harm? That’s a little egotistical, isn’t it?”
“You know what? I’m trying to listen very hard to this really meaningful speech, and you’re just distracting me,” Jack said, winking at her. “I think I’d better go stand by someone else!” He bit his tongue and folded his arms in a pout.
“Sorry,” she whispered. As the Father continued to give his enthusiastic speech, Misha noticed the massive vats of steaming testicles before them. “Wow…you gonna chow down on some man testicles?”
“Well see, that’s where a lot of people make the common misconception of assuming that all testicles come from males,” Jack said, keeping a straight face.
“Oh, so you’re suggesting a couple of women monks donated their nads to this holy procession?” Misha giggled.
“Exactly. I mean, no one ever said these were man nuts, so assuming they are as much is just plain mother--ing sexist, don’t you think!” Jack muttered with a smile.
“Excuse me, do you mind?!” Father Cupley said, taking off his glasses and glaring at the rude heroes.
“Seriously, you guys! Stop hitting on each other in a monastery!” A monk said from next to Jack.
“See Misha? Look what you did!” Jack said with a full chuckle. But he turned and saw that her smile had disappeared, and she was blushing terribly. He put his hand on her shoulder. “Are you alright?”
She slapped his arm away and glared at him. “I’m going to go see Lyner!” she said in an undertone.
“S-sorry, I was only trying to-” but Misha grabbed her coat and stalked out of the room before he could finish. All eyes were on Jack now, who put his hands in his pockets and smiled winningly up at Cupley. “Do carry on, Father!”
Father Cupley cleared his throat and continued. “As I was saying, this is a happy occasion…”
Jack stopped listening and lowered his head with glazed eyes. He felt betrayed for some reason, although he didn’t know why. Was it something he did? And why did he feel so empty now that Misha wasn’t standing next to him? Jack gulped, a sickly feeling growing in his throat; did he have a thing for his own foster sister?
Cupley apparently ended his speech with gusto, and the room broke out into cheers and crazy, old-fashioned dance moves. Jack wandered over to the vats, to which he was very near already, and mindlessly picked out a random nut to eat. He plopped it into his mouth and was surprised at the pleasant flavor; it certainly tasted a lot better cooked than not.
“What does it taste like?” Aurica said sweetly, coming up next to him. “Oh wait! I think you’re supposed to rip the veins off first!” she said, observing the red cords hanging out of his mouth.
“Oh, right,” Jack said, taking out the half-chewed nut and popped the veins out. “It kinda…tastes like vanilla tea mixed with egg yolks, if you want to know the honest truth.”
“Really?!” Aurica said. “Sooooo…”
“Yes, Trinity Divinator, what can I do to you today?” Jack said. “Nice choice of clothes by the way, it looks simply stunning on you.”
“Thanks!!” Aurica said, who had put her Standard costume back on. “I’m wearing it for Lyner’s pleasure once he wakes up. But what I was going to say was, what was that back there, between you and Misha?”
He shrugged. “It was nothing. We’re just good friends, that’s all.”
“Oh, it looked like a lot more than good friends to me!” Aurica said slyly. “More like, flirting bordering on the foreplay side!”
“WHAAT?!” Jack said, feeling vomit climb up the back of his throat at the thought. “Look, now I have to go eat more testicles to keep from throwing up!” He pushed his way through the throng of monks, and snatched up another nut from the varied selection. “Hmm, Buffalo Balls!” he said, observing that it had been fried and coated with red-hot buffalo sauce.
“Riiiight, just know I’m on to you!” Aurica smirked.
“There’s…nothing to be on!” Jack said, spreading his arms to illuminate the vast amount of nothingness that he was talking about.
“Yup, that’s what she said! Laters, I’m gonna go greet Lyner once he’s awake, bye!!” she gushed, and skipped away.
Jack shook his head. “Stupid kid.” He walked out into the dance floor and began to an assortment of crazy dance moves, before he noticed that he was surrounded by a whole bunch of balding middle-aged men in robes. “’Kay…” he said awkwardly, and noticed the team’s resident redhead dancing a few steps away.
He walked up to her. “Some party this is, eh? There’s no girls!”
Tulip stopped dancing immediately. “Uh, WHAT was that?”
Jack cleared his throat. “I was just saying, you know, how old is this place? It’s gotta be at least…”
“If there’s no girls, then what am I?!” the fiery red-head asked him fiercely.
Jack gulped. “N-n-no, you’re a girl alright? No! Even more than that! You’re a woman, and what a woman you are! You’re like the most beautiful damn woman I’ve ever laid eyes on! All my life I’ve been looking for a girl just like you, you’re just what any man could ever want in a…HEY!! I JUST MEANT IT WAS A SAUSAGEFEST, ALRIGHT?!” he yelled after her as she walked away in disgust. “DAMMIT!!”
“Sorry man, but I’m pretty sure you’re just digging yourself into a deeper hole,” Radolf said as he danced past.
“Shut up! You don’t know anything!” Jack spat, his arms folded. “…Now all the single girls are taken…”
“Hey, isn’t this party so awesome?!” a monk said, coming up and dancing next to Jack. The gunman regarded him coldly. “There’s five entire women here!! Normally we have to grind on each other’s legs, and that’s just a little awkward.”
“Yeah…I bet it kinda is,” Jack said. “Well good luck with these ones, they’re not exactly what you’d call desperate!”
“Well, that one with the grey-blue hair, you know her?”
“Shurelia? The one with no chest?” Jack said. “Yeah, she’s alright.”
“My bro Encid said she asked him on a date! So clearly they must be in the market at least a little, eh?”
“Really?” Jack asked incredulously. “Now that’s very interesting!” He noogied the man on his bald head. “Thanks for the tip! Guess I won’t kill you now after all.”
“Oh, happy to help! W-would it be alright if I peed on your leg?”
“In your dreams, pal.”
“O-oh, alright…well I’ll be over by the testicle pit if you change your mind.”
“Yeah, I’ll be right over!” Jack said, rolling his eyes. “This is the worst party ever…I gotta get me a chick, fast!”
Shurelia, Aurica, and Misha all waited eagerly for Lyner to stir in a separate part of the monastery. Flora and gardens blossomed lively throughout the building, lending Lyner their healing power. The brother who healed Lyner just left, saying he poured as much Grace into Lyner’s body as it could handle.
Now, all they could do was wait. Shurelia looked at the other two with red-rimmed eyes. “What are you both doing here? I’m his girlfriend.”
Aurica shrugged. “Well…Lyner and I had a kind of…moment after the zeppelin crashed, and…I was just wondering if we would continue down that path or anything like that.”
“I see,” Shurelia glared. “I’ll have to have a talk with him about it when he wakes up.” She turned her accusing gaze to Misha. “Are you trying to steal him too?”
Misha shook her raven-colored hair. “Honestly, I’m just here to get away from Harm; he was being a little too forward with me back in the chapel.” She winked at Aurica with her left eye so Shurelia wouldn’t see.
“Oh yeah?” Shurelia asked with a grin, dropping into a gossiping stance. “So would you ever do him?”
Misha snorted “Are you serious? I’d rather do…anyone!! At least someone who would take it seriously. The word ‘commitment’ doesn’t appear in Harm’s dictionary!”
Shurelia laughed. “But just think…blue hair means a blue bush…”
“WHAAT?!” Aurica and Misha burst out. “I-I don’t even want to think about that ever!” Misha added, her jaw dropped at Shurelia.
“Well…you gotta admit it would outline it more…”
“P-please stop, girls,” Lyner said weakly, his new orange eyes opening to slits. “You’re killing me here…”
“LYNER!!” All three girls screamed in delight, jumping on him. Shurelia made out savagely with him (although he was a bit of a limp fish at the moment), Misha kissed and bit his sturdy neck, and Aurica kissed him all over his rock-hard chest.
After a long kiss from paradise with his girlfriend, Lyner laughed softly. “Wow…I should defintitely sell my soul to the devil more often!” Seeing their nervous smiles, he said, “Kidding, kidding! Trust me, I’m so sorry all that happened!” He groaned and let his head fall back on the cot pillow.
“It’s okay!” Misha said bolsteringly.
“So how much of it do you remember?” Aurica asked.
“Just…bits and pieces,” Lyner groaned. “Listen, I didn’t kill anyone, did I?”
“Well…” Shurelia said with a shaky voice. “Yes…”
Lyner sat up straight in bed, wide-eyed. “NO!! Who?! Why?!”
“Um…Bourd and Yeeka,” she said with her head hung low.
“YES!! Getting demon possessed is totally awesome!” Lyner shouted, punching the air in victory. He looked down to see Shurelia staring at him, shocked. “…What?”
“Are you serious??” Shurelia said, blinking a lot. She stared at him as if she was seeing him for the first time.
“Uh, yep! The world is a better place without both of them!” Lyner said, lying back down on his cot in satisfaction.
“YOU MONSTER!!” Shurelia shrieked, causing Lyner to jerk awake again. “YOU’RE NOT EVEN GOING TO APOLOGIZE!?”
Lyner stared at her blankly. “Why would I apologize for something that I’m not sorry for? Bourd was a mass murderer, and Yeeka was just your annoying little sex toy!”
Tears streamed down the Tower Administrator’s face. “You know I loved Yeeka!”
“Yeah, so? I hate him, always have.”
“But enough to kill him?”
Lyner shrugged. “Sure. I would’ve probably done it sooner or later. But now I have an excuse, so that’s nice.”
Shurelia blinked a lot again to clear her head. “Girls, could Lyner and I have a moment alone for just a second?”
“Sure,” Misha said at an appropriately hushed volume, but then winked at Lyner sensually, while Aurica gave him an enthusiastic thumbs-up sign, mouthing, “Keep going with it!” The two walked out of the room, and Shurelia sat down on the cot with her boyfriend.
“Lyner…you know Wilmpveb r-raped me, right?” she asked him.
Lyner nodded sympathetically. He reached out to hold her, saying, “Everything will be alright.”
“Don’t touch me!” Shurelia glared at him with wild eyes. “You don’t know how much I wanted to share my virginity with you, Lyner Barsett!” she spat his name out, getting up and pacing around the peaceful setting. “But now, after this…I’m glad I didn’t,” she said, turning away at the last bit.
“…Shurelia?” he squeaked. “B-b-but I-I…”
“Love me?” she laughed. “I doubt it. If you really had loved me, you would have married me somewhere along the line during the fifteen years we lived together! But I can see it now; you’re just like Jack, you’re afraid to be held down by just one girl!!”
“NO! I-” Lyner began to get up, but his stomach buckled and he was forced to fall back on his bed. “That’s not it at all! I want to be held down by just one girl, but I just can’t…”
“Can’t what? Make a simple thing like a decision?”
“I-I just want it to feel right, you know? Like I really belong with the person.”
“Well…” Shurelia breathed. “You now have one less slut to choose from!” With that, she spun around and walked outside his room, slamming the door behind her.
“SHURELIA!!” Lyner roared after her. “NO! FINE, I APOLOGIZE!! DAMMIT!!” He looked around wildly and saw a few valuable pieces of décor on the nightstand next to him, so he smashed them all with his fist. “NO!!” He flopped back down on the hard cot. Now was when he would normally run around an obstacle course and exert himself physically, but his body wouldn’t even let him stand. He screamed in defiance until exhaustion claimed him and he fell back asleep.
Father Cupley insisted the party stay for the night, so Shurelia found herself sharing a bed with Aurica in one of the guest rooms. Shurelia couldn’t stand being in bed with the girl though, since she still was very clearly in love with that moral-less, guile-less bonehead. What had possessed her to stay with him for so long?
Shurelia watched the gorgeous Reyvateil fall asleep, waited ten minutes, and then sneaked out to wander the gardens of the celestial Cleansing Wing. Before long she found a lovely garden of rhododendrons mixed with various types of water lilies, overlooking a scenic route down from the Icy Bluffs. In a bleak but curiously beautiful landscape, she could see the icy rivers stretch into the horizon, twisting like a dancing magneboard artist. It eventually turned into a vast steel realm, dotted with several small houses along the way.
She sighed and leaned against a giant red plant. Staring at this fantastic expanse like this somehow felt entirely different now that she didn’t have Lyner beside her, with his childlike curiosity stirring up her interest in it as well. Instead, it just seemed slightly beautiful, but alien and incomprehensible. She tossed her hair around, and then realized that she was evading the real issue; she missed him, and missed him terribly. Without him, the world seemed completely empty.
Shurelia held her face in her hand and began to sob openly, with only the icy wind wisping through the garden to keep her company. Her heart clenched and so did her throat. “WHY?! We couldn’t he be the one! AM I GOING TO BE ALONE FOREVER!” She screamed into the night, unbuttoning her nightgown to feel the ice dance off her deadened, stiff body. The way the dark frozen sky swallowed her echo whole seemed to answer her question affirmatively.
She had waited hundreds of years to explore the concept of love with another, and each time she made an effort, they always brushed her off. But Lyner was so close, yet…something went wrong somewhere along the way. “Aurica and Misha,” she said with gritted teeth. “They’re the ones who ruined him for me! They’re the ones to blame, not Lyner.”
Shurelia noticed a bowl of testicles on the nearby marble railing, so she approached it and chewed one in half, the juice exploding out into the air, freezing as it flew down.
“After tonight…I shall never try again,” Shurelia whispered. “Once the mission is finished…then I must find peace in the only way I know possible.” That said, she lay down nude in the grass and curled up, whimpering herself to sleep.
Lyner struggled awake to the smell of sweet orange blossoms, and smiled as he stretched. Deciding to try and test out the strength of his legs again, he stood up without much difficulty, and got dressed, hoping he hadn’t keep his friends waiting too long.
His emotions were still shattered, and he didn’t really know what to do about Shurelia. He breathed and ran through her rant in his mind as he got dressed. Deciding there was no hope for it at the moment, he re-sheathed his gilded sword and walked over to the door.
On the other side stood Father Cupley. “Oh, hello!” Lyner said with a forced smile. “You must be Father Cupley!”
“Yes, yes son! And you must be the leader of your fine group of friends!” the monk said, shaking his hand.
“That’s me,” Lyner chuckled. “Is there something I can help you with?”
“Actually, yes, your friends have all gathered in our mess hall. Are you ready to go to them?”
Lyner gulped but assented, not wanting them to wait for him. He had a mission, and he was not about to divert from it due to personal matters. So Lyner followed Cupley into a small, quaint room with a long brown dining table, already peopled by his friends.
“Hello Lyner!!” Everyone said cheerfully but Vincent, Tulip, and Shurelia.
“Hey! Don’t worry, I’m not going to try to kill any of you…yet!” he said, making a weak stab at a joke that nobody laughed at. Deciding that this was a good time to pretend like he didn’t exist, he tiptoed over to the final empty seat, right next to Ayatane and across from Misha. He raised his eyebrows significantly at them and they smiled warmly.
Ayatane draped his arm around his buddy’s frame. “So are you back, man? We had a lot of close calls with you!”
“Yeah, I’m back,” Lyner said, smiling weakly. The chef handed him a steamed omelet on a platter, and Lyner mumbled his thanks and proceed to push the eggs around on his plate with his fork.
“…You don’t seem alright, are you sure you’re feeling better?” Misha asked him sweetly.
“Oh, don’t worry about me, I’m just tired.” Lyner sighed and took a bite of the egg, and then winced and pulled something out – a testicle. He stared at this. “Okay…what is this?!”
“Lyner, it’s a…well, there’s no other way to put this, so, um…it’s another man’s sack package,” Ayatane whispered.
“WHAT?! WHAT KIND OF A SICK MESSED UP PLACE IS THIS?!” Lyner screamed all of a sudden, and proceeded to spit in his plate over and over again.
Misha met Ayatane’s eyes amusedly and the two started to laugh from deep within their bellies, and the laughter carried on all the way down the table (excluding the three somber heroes I mentioned earlier).
“I can’t wait to get out of this frickin’ frozen place!” Lyner said brightly. He had suddenly found an unbidden spurt of renewed energy, which was bolstered by the fact that they didn’t have to walk down this part of the tower; they only had to slide over the ice.
“Lyner, can’t we take a break?” Luke asked from behind. “Some of the girls are getting tired.”
Lyner looked back and saw that Misha, Vincent, Aurica, and Mahine were all straggling far behind the rest of the group. “Heh heh, Vincent’s not a girl, stupid!” He paused. “Actually, on second thought…”
“So are we gonna take a break or not?!” Shurelia said bitingly from within her Linkage armor, clearly struggling to keep her impatience in check.
Lyner shrugged. “I guess…but it’s gonna be hard to set up camp while we’re still on this ice…it might be better to get to the steel sector beyond it.”
“That makes sense!” Jack said, peering off down the tower. After Vincent caught up, Jack asked, “So how close are we to Tethys, kid?”
The scientist analyzed his Quiad detector. “As a matter of fact…I am getting a weak signal much farther down the tower.” He looked up. “It’s the fifth Quiad, so it’s gotta be Tethys.”
“…How big is this freaking tower anyway?” Jack muttered.
“So how many days did Father Cupley say we had until we reached that huge city, again?” Ayatane asked, his lilac hair billowing elegantly in the snowy wind.
“Just five days if we keep up the pace,” Lyner said, remembering the Father’s parting warning about the rampant hedonism in Yewer City; would it be dangerous for the girls, or was he just being too religious?
“Wow, that’s some twirly ice,” Aurica said, running her eyes over the monolithic swirls of ice before them. “Why does it do that?”
“Well, it’s the magnetism of this area, of course,” Everyone looked at him blankly. “What? You don’t know? This part of the tower is actually spinning very fast in mid-air, although we can’t feel it. This causes a great amount of magnetic attraction in this area. Which is why,” he said, nodding to Luke. “I imagine it’s called the Magnzone.”
“He’s right, I think,” the seaslug man squealed. “This is the only part of the tower where you can actually walk straight down, due to the rampant magnetism.”
“Wait, wait, wait,” Lyner stopped them. “So you mean to say we’re actually walking vertically instead of horizontally right now?” The scientists nodded. “Wow!” Lyner said. “I’d always imagined being able to walk on ceilings and walls, but I never imagined it was actually possible.”
Vincent cleared his throat loudly. “Let’s keep moving, shall we?” He continued to skate in front of the party, with Mahine rushing to catch up with him.
“I’m tired, Lyner,” Aurica whispered, coming up next to him and hugging his arm.
“Don’t worry, Aurica. I’ll carry you if you fall,” he whispered back.
“Really?!” she said with glee, and barely held herself back from falling on purpose (that would definitely make her lose points with him).
“Wow, this is like a full-on region!” Misha grinned at the people working in their yards and small farms.
“Your chest is a full-on region!” Jack said, suddenly appearing behind her and causing her to jump.
“HARM!? Why are you being like this?” Misha said, folding her arms so he couldn’t see her breasts.
“Look, sorry. It was just a joke,” Jack shrugged.
“Listen Harm, I like you as a friend, and that’s it!”
“Alright, alright, I meant no offense!”
“Are you done?” Shurelia snapped from the front. “Let’s go hurry and make camp somewhere!”
“Yep, all done!” Jack said with a smile, but tapped Misha on the shoulder as soon as she turned around. “What’s she got up her ass?”
“Well, it’s not Lyner anymore,” Misha smirked.
“What, really? So it’s true?” Jack said, helping her find a safe route down the small ice cliff. “Well that’s great for you, isn’t it? Now he’s all but yours!”
Misha nodded enthusiastically. “I know! I’m so excited. Tonight, I’ll…well, I’ll think of some way to get him!”
“I’m sure you will!” Jack said with a laugh.
She looked at him and gave him a big hug. “Thanks Harm! You’re an awesome friend!”
Jack held her tightly too, but was careful to not overdo it. “Yeah, I’ll always be looking out for you, don’t worry.”
As she walked away in front of him, his smile faded, however. ‘Isn’t she over Lyner yet? Maybe other guys dig her too, you know?’ Jack thought to himself and stepped on, mulling over his thoughts. Lyner’s break up with Shurelia was something that didn’t just affect those two, but in a little bit it might have the potential to tear the entire party apart.
“Nah, forget about it,” Lyner said, shaking his head. “It was for the best, I think.”
“Y-yeah, it was definitely for the best,” Shurelia said, her voice cracking. “But I’m still sorry that it had to end like that.”
Lyner looked at her with a steely expression, and grunted noncommittally.
Shurelia waited for him to go on, and just said, “This is going to be really weird now, isn’t it? It’ll be like how it was when I watched you grow up, but I couldn’t make a move on you!”
He laughed. “True, except now, neither of us likes each other.”
“Yeah…” she said, her voice trailing off. “But I just think you should know, I didn’t mean a lot of those things I said.”
“Well, you know, I’d hope I’d be a better first mate than his Majesty the Emperor,” Lyner quipped.
“Just sh-shut up about that, okay?” Shurelia said, suddenly angry. She huffed and stalked off towards a house.
“Shurelia?” Lyner asked skeptically, eyeing her cute butt as she walked.
Ayatane stopped too. “That was really weird. Is she, like, on her period or something?”
Lyner shrugged. “Beats me. Incidentally, do Reyvateils even have periods?”
“No idea, man,” Ayatane shook his head.
Lyner grabbed Misha and pulled her out of the crowd. “Hey, do Reyvateils have periods?”
“Why yes we do, actually,” Misha said, smirking at him.
“Oh really? Well, watch out for Shurelia, she’s PMS-ing really bad today.”
Misha saluted him. “Yes, sir.”
“Very good soldier. Carry on,” Lyner said, waving her on with a wink, which Misha enthusiastically returned. He watched the caravan follow Shurelia to some farmhouse and leaned to Ayatane. “WHY are we going to a farmhouse?”
“NO idea, man.”
Up at the house, Shurelia walked up to a man with a giant red axe. “Hello sir, how are y-EEK!” she screamed when the farmer brought down the axe on his chicken’s head, sending a geyser of blood out of the cut.
“Sorry bout that, missy. What can I do ya for?” he said, wiping the blood off his face.
“Well, my friends and I were wondering if there were any inns or anything around here.”
“Nope, no inns, just good ole-fashioned homesteads. You just passin’ through?”
“Yes sir, we are headed for Yewer City.”
The farmer laughed. “What for? You’ll jest lose all yer leaf and be stuck in that city tryin’ to win it back for the rest of yer life. Which may be a good or a bad thing, depenin…”
Shurelia raised her eyebrows. “Depending on what?”
He sneered. “If yer a lesbo or not, o’ course! Everyone knows that city’s more queer than straight, and that’s no lie.” He leaned forward. “Matter ‘o fact, the queens themselves are lovers!”
“Oh really? Wow, that sounds…different,” Shurelia smiled, revealing her perfect teeth.
“Yeah, you know what? We here in the Magnzone are the only normal folk on this whole tower! Up top ye got the monks and yetis, and down there ye got queers and the Double-Headed Yokkernauts.”
“Double-Headed Yokkernauts? Why does that ring such a bell?” Jack said, stroking his chin in reflection.
“The severed serpent,” Vincent said. “Remember, they’re the ones who stole that relic from Nervocelambra that we promised to go get back.”
“But listen y’all, Yewer City ain’t nothing but a trap,” the farmer said. “I like a little somethin-somethin just as much as the next guy, but the people there, they cater directly to yer wants and s--, you know what I’m saying? Before ya know it, all you and yer friends’ll be thinkin’ about is how next to get their jollies off! I tell ya, that’s the problem with their society. They never think nothin’ bout no one but themselves!”
“Ohh, that’s so sad,” Aurica said. “I hope I never get like that.”
Radolf blinked and looked at her. “What are you talking about? When do you not think of yourself?”
She laughed and slapped him on the arm. “Shut up!” He smiled down at her; had actually made her laugh! That hadn’t happened in…who knows how long? He felt a sudden rush of attraction to her, and was only jarred from his thoughts when he heard a sound like a door in front of them.
A door opened in the farmstead, and a lovely woman with an amazing top came bouncing out, drawing the eyes of all the men but Lyner, who didn’t notice.
“Wow, I love the Magnzone!” Jack said with a whimper.
“Yeah, ain’t it great?” the farmer smiled looking dreamily out at the landscape behind them. He looked up and saw his wife next to him. “Oh, hey honey! I’m just talkin’ to these here folks.”
“And yer tellin’ them the wrong thing!” the lady said, and looked in earnest at them. “The reason Yewer City’s so delinquent is because they’re currently at war with the Kingdom of Malebolge, and it’s taking the toll on their resources and their morale. That’s why they all place such a high stake on pleasure and all, cuz they could drop dead the next thing they know!”
“Oh, so they’re at war?” Shurelia asked. “How long has that been going on?”
The farmer rolled his lips. “Ever since Yewer City was erected outta the ground, is all! They’ve been skirmishing across the Bloody Border since the beginning!”
Jack broke down into laughter from the back all of a sudden, and said to the eyes that turned to him, “Don’t mind me guys, I just couldn’t help it.”
“What’s up?” Misha whispered as the farmers continued to spew their opinions.
“He said ‘erected,’ how awesome is that! No one uses that word anymore, and for good reason!” Jack snickered.
“True, he did say it,” Misha said with an exaggerated roll of the eyes.
“Hey, I saw you talk to Lyner. What’d he say?”
“Well, he pretty much told me he loves me and wants to have 25 babies with me!” Misha said with a wink. “Which would, cough hurt, but it’d be worth it, don’t you think?”
“Oh, yeah, definitely! It would totally be worth it!” Jack said. “That way, if you ever accidentally stepped on one, no harm done, since there’s 24 other ones!”
Misha broke out laughing now, and nudged him as punishment. “You’re retarted.”
“Me and Misha have to go…take care of something,” Aurica said, standing up.
“Yep, see ya later!” Misha supplied, and they walked far away from the campfire, leaving everyone else to make their own plans for the next day.
In between two tents, they both broke out into a high-pitched squeal. “I can’t believe it! I can’t believe this is actually happening!!” Misha cheered.
“I know!! He’s finally ours for the taking!” Aurica hooted, and they hugged each other in excitement.
“So, do you remember that crazy plan we came up with that one time?”
“Of course! So now we move on to step two, right?”
“Yep!” Misha said eagerly. “Okay, so do you think tonight we should make him choose between one of us?”
“Oh yeah, totally! I don’t think I could wait any longer!” Aurica gushed. “So what should we do?”
“Hmm…” Misha considered. “What if…we wait until he’s in bed…”
“And THEN…we take turns seducing him!!” Aurica cried, erupting into a giggle attack.
“Or whatever,” Misha said quickly. “For just five minutes each. And then he gets to pick one!”
“Oh yeah, this’ll be so amazing!” Aurica said, hugging her rival again. “So how do we decide who goes first?!”
“Rock-paper-scissors?” Misha suggested with pursed lips.
“Definitely. You’re totally going down.”
He peeled off his shirt, and ran his hand down his wet chest. “Sweat, I love you,” he said with a half smile, and then sat down on his sleeping bag. He kicked off his shoes and pulled off his pants before crawling under the flap, exhaling mightily. He looked at the empty space next to him, and suddenly felt a quiver in his throat. Sleeping here suddenly didn’t feel right when Shurelia was gone.
“Dammit,” he whispered, running hand through his hair. He doubted very much he’d get to sleep tonight if there wasn’t anyone in the bed with him; he was still too emotionally vulnerable to handle that. “What’s a guy to do?” he muttered, lying back down. “Guess I’ll just have to get used to it for a while.”
“Hey, what’s up?” Misha’s voice suddenly appeared in his room, and he shot straight up. Misha Arsellic Lune was stooping through his door, wearing her clairvoyant China Dress.
“Wh-what are you doing here?” he asked, shocked at her prompt arrival. ‘Wow, I was just thinking about her, too…’ he thought.
“Well…I was wondering if you wanted to snuggle or something, but if this is a bad time then I can just…”
“Oh no no no no no no no no!” Lyner said, jumping out of bed and opening the flap for her. “Please, come join me, Misha!”
She blushed. “Oh really? Can I?”
“Um, YES! Come on!”
“Okay, if you say so,” Misha smiled, although she was doing jumping jacks of joy inside. She slid across the bag and crawled in, running her eyes over his flawless, sturdy body as she lay down. She had never seen him this close to naked before – he was just in a pair of too-small, patterned brown boxers. “I’m pretty sure there’s enough room for you in here too,” she said breathlessly. ‘Oh my god, I am so horny right now! Misha, don’t blow this,’ she told herself.
“Yep,” Lyner laughed, climbing in to join her. He slid all the way down her, and Misha got goosebumps of pleasure as she felt every part of him brush along.
She smiled at him and reminded him, “We haven’t kissed in a while, Lyner.” Her heart was beating so fast, she was sure he’d hear it.
He shrugged. “Yeah, you’re right.” So he leaned in and pulled her still-clothed body up to his rock-hard tan one, giving her the most tender make out session she had ever experienced. She moaned into his mouth as she stroked his tongue with her own, hoping to convey that feeling to her gracious host.
Once it ended, she found herself staring into his demonic orange eyes, but she could still see Lyner’s clear innocence beneath the unnatural exterior. “Misha,” he said. “I-I think I love you.”
If Misha was excited before, now her heart was beating so fast it was on the verge of exploding. “REALLY?! I love you too, more than life itself!” she spluttered out, regretting it as soon as the words burst from her lips. ‘Ever heard of ‘forward,’ Misha?’ she told herself off. ‘It’s not what we’re going for here!’
Lyner laughed and pulled her close, keeping his hands on her satin-covered back. “Now that Shurelia’s gone, I realized how trapped I had been. She was way too negative, and controlling, and…I dunno.” He gazed at her violet eyes. “You’re just so…loving, supportive, and well, a pleasure to be around. There’s no one else I’d rather spend the night with than you.”
Misha’s hands were shaking. Every instinct in her body told her to go for it and screw him, but she smacked those feelings down as hard as she could, trying to soak her crush’s words in. “We’ve known each other so long, Lyner,” she said, not knowing where she was going with this, but hoping her subconscious was in working enough order to drive for a while. “And I’ve wanted to be in this position with you since, well, I don’t know when! Like, I’ve dreamed of this for so long! This isn’t a dream, is it?”
“Nope, no dream,” he said, smiling awkwardly. “Okay! Time to go to sleep now!” he announced, and conked his head on the pillow, instantly going to sleep.
‘There’s no way he can go to sleep now that I’m this horny!!’ Misha thought to herself. She closed her eyes and changed to her Y costume, and pressed up to him, bare skin on bare skin. She looked at his perfect face with longing. ‘He is, without a doubt, the hottest guy ever born. And, I’ve known him first out of all the girls. So there.’ She tapped him on the bare shoulder and he stirred.
“Lyner, you know how we like to show our love through kissing?” she asked craftily.
“Y-yeah, there’s no better way to show it,” he said, blushing.
“Well…” Misha said, playing with herself to stay in control of her thoughts. “Some people say there are even better ways to consummate their love.”
“What?! NO! No way. No sex!” Lyner said, glaring at her.
“Oh, please, Lyner!” Misha begged him. “You’re the most amazing guy ever! Can’t you just try for me, please?”
Lyner groaned and felt like gouging his eyes out. “Damn, I knew this would happen.”
‘Uh-oh!’ Misha gulped, still shaking all over from nervousness and desire. She put her other arm around his neck and pulled him firmly close. “Look Lyner, just think of how good it feels to share our love through kissing! If we just go a little farther, think of how much more magical it would be!” She furrowed her brow in worry. ‘Did I seriously just say “magical?” GOD! I’m definitely not helping!’
He shook his head, his blonde hair flourishing in the darkness. “Look; it’s not just that I don’t want to. I don’t even know HOW to! I’ll be completely in the dark, and I’ll…look stupid,” He muttered.
“Oh, no, I don’t care!” Misha said, smiling at him and pecking him on the lips.
“But I really care! If there’s one thing I don’t want, it’s looking stupid in front of you!”
“Here, I have an idea!” Misha said, smooching him again and taking her other hand out. She held his hands against her tummy. “Why don’t you just sit back and relax. I’ll do everything for you. And don’t worry, if you do do anything stupid, I won’t hold it against you.”
“Well…” Lyner breathed. “I just don’t know. I mean, we’re not even dating, and I went fifteen years without doing anything at ALL with Shurelia…it just feels wrong.”
Misha shook her loose raven hair. “No, don’t think about Shurelia. Just…” she hesitated. “Just think about this! She said, launching forward and making out with him again. Pleasure flooded through her body as she pressed up against Lyner, wanting to love him as well as she was capable. She ran her hands up and down his flawless chest, memorizing every chisel. ‘I’m having the time of my life!’ she thought to herself. ‘I mean, I couldn’t be more turned on if he went for it right now! But, he’s not turned on at all! I’ve gotta think like a guy; what can I do to make him horny?!’ She tried to think, but her mind was so thickly clouded with the static sensation of lust and pleasure that it was exceedingly difficult. Still licking his tongue like she was chugging it, she thought about what Jack was always going on about concerning women. ‘Let’s see…breasts was a big one. Let’s see if I can pull this off!’
Misha pulled away from his welcoming mouth but continued to ram into him with her nude hips. She gulped and unbuttoned her shirt, looking at him with desire all the time; the last time she had tried this, he’d completely insulted her breasts and looked away. Hopefully this would be a little better.
After she unbuttoned it, she let them hang out and looked into his eyes for approval. “Lyner…I really do love you. And I want to show it. Please?”
His eyes weren’t exactly overflowing with excitement, but they definitely weren’t annoyed either. “I…I dunno,” he said honestly.
“Here, let me…” she slid up to a sitting position on top of him, shaking off the dress shirt, smiling as she felt him get VERY horny under her. “Oh Lyner, you’re SO hot!” she said, in amazement at her clear view of him under her.
“I…I really don’t know what to say. But…” his eyes danced around furtively. “You’re really hot too.”
“Really?” she said with ecstasy.
He nodded, and suddenly realized he wanted to make out with her again. So he grabbed her around the waist and pulled her down for a kiss, which she gladly partook in. She remained seated, however, and unexpectedly began to slam into him again with her hips.
Pulling his mouth away from hers, he asked “Misha? What are you OH! Oh WOW! That feels good!” he said, his eyes suddenly lighting up with a sparky fire.
“I’m glad you like it!” she said, her voice sounding like naked desire. She arched her back up just a little in order to give him a better view of her top as she worked. They were dripping with sweat and she was bouncing as much as she could…so there wasn’t much more she could do than that. After a moment or two she looked down at him with adoration to see that his expression was now one of pure bliss. Apparently Jack’s endless obsession with breasts had a benefit after all. Lyner reached up and felt them tenderly. “Is it alright if I…if I do this?” he asked, his voice thick with a selfish eagerness unlike him.
She nodded vehemently, a moan escaping her lips as his boner increased even more, slipping along her tummy. “Please, whatever you do, don’t stop!”
“Alright,” he said, happy to comply. “You’re the greatest Reyvateil ever, Misha!!”
She laughed and arched her back as a lightning bolt of pleasure cannonballed up her body from her nether regions. “Ohhhh, my God!”
Suddenly, a towel-clad Aurica stepped in. “Hey guys! My turn.”
Misha spun around and glared daggers at her. “Are you serious?! NOW?!”
The Reyvateil nodded, bright excitement decorating her features and Misha sighed, turning back to Lyner. “I love you SOO much!” she purred, leaning down to his lips and making out with him one last time. She stood up, twirled around to don Shinobi, and walked out of the room, her lower portions and throat still yearning for more. She looked back at Lyner one last time and was pleased to see his eyes were still on her and not Aurica.
Once she left the tent, Misha hugged herself in glee. She was no expert, but it seemed like she had done a pretty good job. Satisfied with her performance, she immediately started counting Aurica’s five minutes in her head, and hung around outside the tent to listen in.
p.s. you know you wanna review!