Author: Buffybot76 PM
Mal and River have hooked up. Too bad no one told Nathan and Summer... This is TOTAL crack ficRated: Fiction T - English - Humor/Romance - Mal & River - Chapters: 6 - Words: 11,759 - Reviews: 34 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 41 - Updated: 08-25-08 - Published: 10-12-07 - id: 3833285
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Title: Mistaken Identities
Author: Rose and Erin
Email: and PG-13
Pairing: Mal/River, (hints of) Nathan/Summer
Disclaimer: Firefly, Serenity and everything related belong to Joss 'The Boss' Whedon, FOX grumble and Universal. Nathan Fillion and Summer Glau belong to themselves. We're just invading the playground for a little fun. Nothin' but love:-) Oh, and as Jayne says: "Ten percent of nothin' is... let me do the math here... nothin... into nothin'... carry the nothin'..." We've got nothin' You want 10?
Distribution: If you want to archive it somewhere, just tell us where it's going.
Spoilers: post-BDM, AU
Summary: Mal and River have hooked up. Too bad no one told Nathan and Summer...
Malcolm Reynolds stood at the head of the table, where he normally sat during breakfast, lunch and dinner, and stared down every one of his crew, save for River, who was currently tucked neatly against his side with his arm wrapped possessively around her.
"Captain, you can't be serious!" This from Shepherd Book, whom Mal just knew would be giving him a lecture on the Special Hell he was surely bound for at the earliest convenience. However, Mal really didn't give a good gorram and he was prepared to tell the clergyman just that when the time came.
"Oh, Mal..." Inara's voice sounded all manner of disappointed, and, though Mal would admit that at one point in time, he would have felt bad about this, that time had since passed. Now he could safely say that whatever the Companion thought of him and his choices, it didn't affect him whatsoever.
"Feh, Captain's done gone feng le if you ask me. Think Crazy there's done gone and infected him," Jayne groused as he, being the only one still seated at the table after the captain and River had made their little announcement, took another bite of fried protein.
Mal glared at Jayne.
"Well," Wash interjected, attempting to lighten the mood. Unfortunately, his next words did the exact opposite. "I think congratulations are in order, wouldn't you say?"
Simon's face looked pained, but he remained silent as, beside him, Kaylee offered her sincere words of joy. "It's so shiny, Cap'n, you and River. You make such a cute couple!" The mechanic practically glowed with her exuberant happiness for her captain.
From within the circle of Mal's arms, River kept her eyes trained on her brother as he turned and left, without saying a word. Kaylee, noticing his departure, shot another smile in Mal and River's direction before excusing herself and following her lover from the room. One by one, they all filed out of the galley; Inara shooting daggers in Mal's direction, Shepherd Book's look of disapproval, Zoë stoically nodding to them before leaving, Wash following cheerfully on her heels. Jayne lingered the longest, as he took his time finishing his meal, before he shoved away from the table. The merc grinned cockily before giving a parting comment on his way to the door.
"Kinda shoots your whole 'No shipboard romance' rule all to hell, don't it."
Mal let out the gusting breath he'd been holding. "Well, that went well." His voice dripped sarcasm as he looked down at River, who pulled away slightly to look up at him.
"It's to be expected," she replied, "Don't worry, I'll talk to Simon. Besides, the day won't get interesting for another nine hours, twenty minutes and twenty-point-oh-two seconds..." River trailed off, adjusting her gaze to the ceiling. Mal followed her gaze for a moment, then shook his head.
"Gotta go downstairs, make sure everything's ready once we land," he said, nodding toward the exit.
A grin spread across his face and he leaned in for a kiss, which River met eagerly.
Meanwhile, back on Earth-That-Was, a bit more than 500 years ago...
Nathan Fillion and Summer Glau found themselves in the office of their former boss, Joss Whedon. The creator behind such cult television shows, such as i Buffy the Vampire Slayer /i and i Firefly /i - the show Nathan and Summer had both been stars of - had called each of them earlier in the week, asking if they could stop by. Both were surprised and happy to see each other. Apparently, Joss had started a new project, specifically with the two of them in mind. At the moment, however, Joss was not in his office. He'd stepped out for a moment, leaving the two alone. Nathan's calm lasted about two seconds, so he started looking at Joss' bookshelves. A moment later, Summer turned when Nathan spoke.
"Check it out!" he said.
She couldn't see what he was pointing at from her seat, so she rose and moved over to where he was standing. There, between two sets of books, was the infamous red button. Nathan looked like a five-year-old given free-range of a toy store.
"I'm gonna push it!"
"No." Summer pulled him back. "Grow up…"
"Hey!" He pointed to the button and put on his serious face. "This is programmed to bring everyone back." Summer rolled her eyes and shook her head. As she stepped away, Nathan grabbed her arm. "Just wait."
With that, Nathan gave the button a push, waited a moment, then looked around the room. He huffed, while Summer had a distinct River-like expression on her face. "Good thing Wash went with pilot. Electrician he ain't."
Summer gave him a 'that's horrible' look, but still laughed. They both stepped away from the bookshelf and heard a strange crackling sound. Slowly, almost comedically, the two turned to look at the button. There was a strange electrical current – like those hair-raisers at the planetarium – forming around the button.
Summer took hold of Nathan's arm and, as he leaned closer, her grip tightened. A split second later, Nathan's eyes widened and he turned to grab Summer in a bear hug as a bright white flash filled the room.
As his vision returned, Nathan found himself laid out, flat on his back, on a grated floor. Not wanting to get up too fast, he tried to roll to one side and plant a hand to push himself up, but the hard surface ground into his back painfully. He winced, releasing a low groan of pain as he tried to clear his head, which throbbed dully.
"Need some help, Sir?"
Nathan's eyes narrowed in confusion as he recognized the voice speaking to him. "Gina?" he asked, looking up and spying the familiar face, looking down at him with a very odd expression.
"You're not the Captain." Suddenly, Nathan found himself face to face with the muzzle of Zoe Washburne's shotgun.
Summer groaned as awareness slowly crept in and she felt how much her head throbbed. Raising her head carefully, the actress found herself lying face down on a small bed, in what appeared to be a small cabin of some sort. Holding her head tenderly, Summer climbed from the bed and got a bit unsteadily to her feet. Once she felt oriented enough, she once again took in her surroundings and blinked as the familiarity of the room began to sink in.
'Is this some kind of joke?' she thought, wondering how she'd gotten here and why and when the set had been rebuilt. 'Wait... where's Nathan?'
Remembering she'd been with him before the flash, and realizing he was now not there with her, Summer began to grow more worried. Determined to find him, Summer stumbled across the room to the door as anxiety began to build within her chest. She quickly slid open the door and stepped out of the room, only to wind up barreling into someone who'd happened to be standing just outside. Strong arms came up to wrap around her and pull her close as the sound of Nathan's voice filled her ears.
"Whoa, there, bao bei. You okay?"
Summer felt relief sweep through her and instantly wrapped her arms around the man holding her, glad that she'd found him. She stiffened when she felt a pair of lips press themselves to the top of her head. "What are you doing, Nathan?" she asked, attempting to pull away and look into his face.
Mal was confounded as to why his lil' Albatross was calling him by another man's name, let alone just who exactly this Nathan person was. He allowed her to pull away from him and, for the first time, he noticed that she wasn't wearing the dress she'd been wearing when he'd last seen her a few minutes ago. Instead of the simple, floral-print dress, she wore a pair of form-fitting jeans, the likes of which he'd never seen, a dark green blouse that dipped daringly low in the front, giving him a mighty pleasing view of the cleavage he'd grown familiar with in the past week, and a dark brown corduroy jacket.
Mal stared at her a moment before realizing that, perhaps, she was having one of her moments, and decided not to say anything. Instead, he smirked at her to show he wasn't upset about what she'd said a moment ago, and swooped down to take her lips in a kiss that was sure to make her never forget his name again.