Disclaimer: I do not own SpongeBob SquarePants or any SpongeBob SquarePants characters. I do not own the episode Sandy’s Rocket

SpongeBob SexPants

Episode 19

Sandy’s Dildo

LEMON and slash warning!

The following story contains very strong mature content. This story is not for the faint hearted, easily insulted or the easily grossed out. If you get disgusted and pissed off by this story, then that’s your problem. And if you send me a review complaining about how disgusted and pissed of your were by this story, then I will just laugh at you. Yes, I laugh at retarded shit bags who think that I actually give a shit for the sex hating 40-year-old virgins who get disgusted by my stories. If I’ve insulted or disgusted you, then I’ve done my job!

This episode is a parody of the episode: Sandy’s Rocket

SpongeBob ran toward Sandy’s Tree dome. “Hey Sandy, I got a bag of shit from that one gangsta guy in that dark alley! He sold me a paper bag filled with marijuana, a bong and some illegal porn! And it only cost-holy shit! What the fuck is that?” SpongeBob said.

“Oh hey SpongeBob, check out my rocket,” Sandy said as she pointed at a giant dildo-shaped rocket.

“Uh…Sandy, that looks more like a giant dildo. How could that possibly fit it your-” SpongeBob said until Sandy interrupted her.

“It’s not a dildo! I’m gonna fire this rocket into the moon! You see, there is a special crater filled with moon rocks, look,” Sandy said a she showed SpongeBob a picture of the moon. But the moon looked like a giant, gray ass.

“Uh…why does the moon look like an ass?” SpongeBob asked.

“It’s not an asshole, it’s a crater that was just recently formed, and I need to shove this rocket inside of the crater to collect all of the special rocks that are inside of it,” Sandy said.

“But what about those fucking aliens, they’ll destroy you! They’ll capture you and turn you into their sex-slave, and if you make one false fuck, they chop your dick off! And if you’re a woman they’ll scoop all of your vaginal innards out with a spoon and eat them!” SpongeBob said.

“SpongeBob, there are no such thing as aliens!” Sandy said.

“Then how do explain the strange activity of mothers? Seriously, if you’re mom catches you watching porn she’ll get all pissed and shit! What’s wrong with looking at tits? It only means that your son is straight! What, would you rather have your son watching gay porn? And the reason for this is that aliens eat women’s brains! Why else would woman be so fucked up in the head?” SpongeBob asked.

“Shut your ass up before I shove a-” Sandy angrily said until SpongeBob interrupted her.

“And what about the television companies, they censor out all the stuff we want to see! When they show a hot naked chick they block her tits out, but damn it everyone wants to see that! And this one time I was watching Extreme Makeover on the Style Channel, don’t ask why I was but this one guy had liposuction and his skin was all flabby and gross and they even showed him jogging without a shirt off and all his stretched out flabby skin was jiggling like jello and it was so gross I threw up! And did they censor that out? No! But no one wants to see that shit!” SpongeBob screamed.

“Okay, what you said there sort of makes sense. But it has nothing to do with aliens!” Sandy said.

“Fine, take me to the giant ass in the sky and I’ll show you the aliens,” SpongeBob said. “And if we’re lucky we might be able to have sex with the native children of the moon without getting caught,” SpongeBob said.

“Yeah, and you said women are fucked up in the head?” Sandy asked.

“Wait, I’m not finished! And you know what else? You know those pedophiliac female teachers who have sex with their male students? Why would a 14-year-old boy squeal on his hot teacher after she fucked him? Getting boned by a hot chick is every teenager’s dream! So why would he tell the police? The only logical explanation would be that aliens took his brain!” SpongeBob said.

“SpongeBob, shut up. Besides, the kid was probably uncomfortable with the fact that his teacher was doing him. Now go away, I’m not taking you to the moon,” Sandy said.

“Come on! Please?” SpongeBob asked.

“Fine, but only to prove to you that there are no god damn aliens!” Sandy said. “Now be here at exactly six ‘o clock, no later or else I’m leaving you!”

SpongeBob was in his bed sleeping, wearing a condom on his head like a hat. “Wait, why the fuck am I wearing a condom in bed? I usually sleep in the nude!” SpongeBob said as he threw it off.

“Hey SpongeBob,” Patrick said as he poked his head threw the window.

“God damn it Patrick! Stop trying to catch me masturbating!” SpongeBob said.

“Come on, can we please masturbate together? I have a huge boner and I need to get rid of it before someone sees it,” Patrick said.

“No, I need to get lots of sleep! I’m going to go to the moon so I can fuck all of the native children that live there,” SpongeBob said.

“Cool! I want to go!” Patrick said.

“Sorry Patrick, I don’t think Sandy will let you come,” SpongeBob said.

“Come on, I just want to spray the windows with this adult-alien repellent. It’ll keep all the adult aliens away so you can fuck all the children without getting caught,” Patrick said as he pulled out a spray can of alien repellent.

“Alright fine, but we’re only spraying the windows,” SpongeBob said.

“Okay, now let’s hurry this up. I need to get some sleep,” SpongeBob said.

“Hold on, I think this is the entrance,” Patrick said as he pressed a button. Suddenly the door slid open and Patrick ran in.

“Patrick, come back here!” SpongeBob said.

“I wonder how to turn this shit on,” Patrick said as he pulled on a dildo sticking out of the wall. Suddenly the rocket blasted into the air.

“Holy dumb fuck! SpongeBob!” Sandy screamed as a bunch of sirens went on in her house.

“Patrick? What are you doing?” SpongeBob screamed.

“Oh come on, Sandy would never let us have sex while floating around in her dildo,” Patrick said as everything in the room started floating.

“I guess your right. Low gravity sex! Yay!” SpongeBob said.

“God damn it, now I have to crack SpongeBob’s sack!” Sandy said as she flew into the air with a jet pack that was shaped like a dick. The dick was pointing to the ground and when she turned it on the jizz that shot out blasted her into the air.

Meanwhile, SpongeBob was jerking off completely naked while floating around and when he jizzed his spooge blasted out and floated in the air. Then Patrick, who was naked as well, swam by in the air and ate SpongeBob’s floating spooge. But then the rocket flew around the moon and headed back to Earth. It then crashed on top of a little girl sucking on a dick-shaped lollypop and the little girl was instantly crushed.

“Hey look, we’re home!” Patrick said as he jumped out of the rocket in a space suit. SpongeBob then chased after him.

“Wait Patrick,” SpongeBob screamed.

“What?” Patrick asked.

“Have you ever noticed that if you get rid of the ‘a’ and the ‘t’ in your name, your name spells ‘prick’?” SpongeBob asked.

“No I didn’t,” Patrick said. “Hey look, it’s Gary!” Patrick said.

“Wait, the aliens tricked us! They’re messing with our heads!” SpongeBob said.

“You mean like when we take shrooms?” Patrick asked.

“Yes, they’ve drugged us and they’re going to steal our organs! Just like in that movie!” SpongeBob said.

“Well I’m not going to take that shit! Come on! Let’s go fuck all the children, then those aliens will be sorry!” Patrick said.

“No wait! We need to kill them! We can show there dead bodies to Sandy and she can cut them open and look at their guts so we can prove to her that aliens do exist! Then we can fuck all of the children’s dead bodies!” SpongeBob said.

“Yeah, let’s kill every alien on this god forsaken planet!” Patrick said.

“Yeah, but never say god forsaken, remember we worship Satan!” SpongeBob said.

“Oh yeah,” Patrick said.

SpongeBob and Patrick sneaked into Squidward’s room. “Look at the sleeping beast! It’s hideous! Look, it has a dick where its nose should be!” Patrick said.

“Sick!” SpongeBob said as he pulled down Squidward’s bed sheets. Squidward wasn’t wearing any pants, which revealed his eight dicks and eight ball sacs.

“Oh my god, look at all that cock! Kill it!” Patrick screamed.

“Huh? What the butt fuck are you fags doing in here?” Squidward asked.

“You’re disguises can’t fool me you alien!” Patrick screamed as he grabbed the skin from Squidward’s face and pulled as hard as he could.

“Patrick, what are you doing you god da-” Squidward said until suddenly Patrick ripped the skin off of Squidward’s face. “AAAAAAAAGGHHHHH!!!!!! AAAAHHH!!!! AAHHH!! AAHHHH!!!!!” Squidward screamed in pain. SpongeBob stared at the red, meaty flesh that was revealed under Squidward’s face.

“See, it is an alien! Die you brain-sucking cock-sucker!” SpongeBob screamed as he pulled out a gun. A harpoon shot out of the gun and it impaled Squidward in the forehead and out the back of his head. Squidward then fell on his back, dead.

“Come on, let’s carry the corpse to the rocket,” Patrick said.

SpongeBob threw Squidward’s body in the rocket. “That was major pownage! That bitch got powned, spelled with a ‘3’!” SpongeBob said.

Meanwhile Mr. Krabs was walking down the street. “Aha! We caught you, ya fucking penis wallet!” SpongeBob said as he pointed a gun at Mr. Krabs.

“Please! Just kill me now! Just don’t take my precious money!” Mr. Krabs screamed until SpongeBob fired the gun and a harpoon shot out and speared Mr. Krabs in the balls. “Holy fucking shit! AAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!” Mr. Krabs screamed until he vomited out blood and then fell down on his face, dead.

Mrs. Puff was grading papers in her class until SpongeBob pointed a gun at her. “SpongeBob, what are you-” Mrs. Puff said until SpongeBob fired it at her. A net flew out and she gut tied up in it. But then the net squeezed around her too tightly and she got crushed by the net. Her eyes popped out and her guts blasted out of her mouth, ass and pussy.

Flats the flounder opened his mailbox until Patrick’s arm came out with a gun it and when the gun was fired, a fishing hook smashed into Flat’s gut and it came out of his ass.

Then a man sat on a toilet until suddenly he was lifted up. He screamed in pain as a chainsaw was driven into his ass. Blood and shit blasted all over the walls as blood gurgled out of the man’s mouth.

Dead bodies were lying around everywhere. They were impaled by hooks or harpoons, crushed by nets or impaled in the ass, balls or vagina by a chainsaw.

“We can’t fit all these dead bodies in the rocket, and they all smell like shit!” Patrick said as he tried to push more bodies into the rocket.

“We don’t have time to make a second trip! Just leave the rest of the bodies here, I think we have enough, seventy-eight dead alien bodies should prove my point. But that just means we killed the other forty-two bodies for nothing.

“Nah, those aliens were no good anyway,” Patrick said.

“SpongeBob!!!!!!” Sandy screamed as she landed near SpongeBob and Patrick. “How could you? Why in the hell would you kill everyone in bikini bottom?” Sandy roared.

“Nice try, alien!” SpongeBob said as he shot Sandy in the chest with a harpoon gun. Sandy coughed up blood and then she fell on her stomach. The harpoon shot out of her back and then it landed and impaled her dead body in the ass.

“Come on, let’s get that alien’s body in the rocket,” Patrick said. SpongeBob then stuffed Sandy’s body in the rocket.

“Wait a second, how do you know that you’re not an alien! Die bitch!” Patrick said as he pointed a gun at SpongeBob. SpongeBob started screaming like a little bitch, but Patrick was holding it the wrong way and instead he shot a hook into his left eye.

“Ha-ha, you stupid alien,” SpongeBob said as he threw Patrick’s body in the rocket. SpongeBob then jumped in the rocket and he flew it back to the moon.

“I can’t wait till Sandy sees all the aliens I killed!” SpongeBob said until he crashed into the moon. Suddenly he saw the Earth being reflected on the windshield. “Wait a second, I am on the moon!” SpongeBob said.

“Oh shit.”