Disclaimer: Nope. Not yet anyway

Ok, here's a little random thing that me and my friends cooked up one day while listening to the Cheetah Girls tune "So Bring It On". It sounded funny when we wrote it. I hope you like it. Please Review so all the little bunnies will be able to see the light again. (wow that was random)

Love Butterz

Olivia’s POV
Monday

“Stabler! Benson! My office now!” the familiar voice of our captain rang out in the precinct. I sighed and rolled my eyes. I got up and walked past my partner, who was slowing getting out of his chair. We walked into the captain’s office and both of us stood side by side in front of the older man’s desk.

“How many times have I had to tell the two of you to get the hell over your issues?” Cragen asked, irritated. He has every right to be irritated. Elliot and I have been silently arguing like crazy.

“Sorry, Cap, we’ve been trying to work through it.” Elliot apologizes like the pansy he is. I roll my eyes. He’s been trying to make up to me, but I’ve been making it extremely difficult for him.

“It doesn’t seem like it.” Cragen eyed me especially, knowing that I was being stubborn. “What exactly are you two fighting over?”

I couldn’t help but laugh. To be honest, I didn’t even know. I think I was just arguing so I could see just how hot my partner is when he’s angry. His usually bright blue eyes get this icy glaze in them and he rolls the sleeves up on his shirt, showing off his muscular arms. He puffs his chest out like he’s “the man” and...GOD it makes me want to jump him right there! That’s right, Elliot’s bringing sexy back! Laughing as I am on the inside, I manage to keep a straight face while facing my Captain.

“We...uh...have different views about a case.” I managed to say. It was a lie.

“You two don’t have any open cases.” Cragen lifted an eyebrow curiously.

“Had. Had different views about a case.” I corrected my statement. I see my partner smirk and roll his eyes in my peripheral vision.

“Well, I suggest you get over it. Yesterday.” Cragen looked a little too serious when he said this. Both my partner and I nodded and walked towards the door. Elliot stepped in front of me and held the door open for me. I silently thank him and head over to my desk. He follows and sits on the edge of my desk, looking at me.

“So, Liv, I really think it’s time we get over this.” he is grinning. Why is he grinning? Does he know what he does to me?

“No, I don’t think so.” I tear my eyes away from his and face my computer. I continue typing my report.

“Why? What is your problem?”

“I don’t want to end this in your favor. You wanted to fight, we’re gonna fight my way.” I snap. He looks at me, shocked.

“I never wanted to fight. I’ve been trying to make up with you since the start!” he tries to defend himself. God he is such and ASS sometimes. Or should I say self centered, egotistic, Neanderthal! Harsh words, I know, but he’s so controlling!

“Look, you have to stop controlling me! I’ll handle the cases like I want! You act like you know everything! You can’t tell me what to do!” I find myself yelling, earning curious and annoyed looks from my colleagues.

“I have never tried to control you!” Elliot snapped.

“Bull! Bullshit! You try to control me everyday!” I’m yelling again. He’s getting angry, and sexy. It makes me want to fight more.

“I can’t believe you! You’re such a self centered...” I cut him off right there.

“Just shut up!” I snap. He’s shaking with anger, but he heads over to his desk and shuts up for the rest of the day.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

Elliot’s POV
Tuesday

I really don’t want to be here today. My partner is just pissing me off! But damn! When she fights, her eyes grow like pure black. It’s just so god damn sexy! Yesterday I just wanted to throw her against the wall and pound some sense into her, and not with my fist.

I make my way over to the desk and find a piece of paper on top of a few files. I smirk, knowing it’s from her. Curious of how many names she’s calling me now, I sit down and read the paper. I’m shocked at what it says.

You try your best, to ride off my name,
Try to control me, but that’s gonna change
If you look closer, you will know what I mean
you’ll see the girl, become a machine

I'll squeeze you, unease you, I'll freeze you
Alarm you, disarm you, I’ll charm you
I'll block you, unlock you, I’ll shock you
you wanna fight, then we'll do it my way

Just as I set the paper down, Olivia is coming into the room. She’s wearing a very long trench coat that drags on the floor. All the buttons all the way down are buttoned. I have never seen my partner dressed in something like that before. She sits down at her desk and leans over, undoing the bottom buttons.

Slowly and almost seductively, she undoes all the buttons but leaves the coat wrapped around her. She turns on her computer and faces me.

“What?” she asks. Her voice is low and she drags the word out. I feel an uncomfortable feeling coming on.

“Nothing.” I squeak. She smiles and stands, going to hang the coat up on the rack. She drops it and reveals a skirt that comes mid-thigh, but reveals most of her gloriously long and tan legs. My eyes wander up to her chest where a good majority of it seems to be spilling from that shirt. I look up and see her staring back at me.

“Court today.” is all she says as she goes to sit down. I suddenly wonder is she’s giving up the fight, but then I realize that she’s really just playing me.

“Are you making a fashion statement around all those uptight judges?” I questioned, trying to be smart and push her buttons. She looks up and eyes me before commenting.

“No, its laundry day and I didn’t have anything else.” is her response as she finishes her report. Having nothing better to do, I continue to watch her. My eyes follow her as she stands and walks over to a file cabinet near my desk. She bends over to search around in the bottom drawer. I’m staring at her ass now and notice how far that skirt comes up when she’s bending over like that. I’m trying to fight the erection I’m getting as I lean over to try and sneak a peek at what’s under that skirt.

“Like what you see?” she questions. I didn’t realize that she turned around and was now facing me. Her hands are on her hips and she’s got a smirk on her irresistible lips. Since when did they become so pouty? It makes me what to kiss her that much more. Damn Stabler get a hold of yourself!

“Um...I...” I stutter. She rolls her eyes and walks over to her locker, swaying her hips. I stifle a moan as impure thoughts about my partner flood my mind. Maybe I can win this fight by throwing her down on the desk and getting it on with her. Or maybe we could test the strength of the table in the interrogation rooms.

“That’s what I thought. Well, I better get going.” she rolls her eyes again and leaves, swaying her hips some more. Damn her for what she does to me.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

Olivia’s POV
Wednesday

I stride into the precinct early, before my partner wakes up. My plan of getting him frustrated in more ways than one had worked the previous day. By now, I had forgotten what we were fighting over. I don’t care; I have a plan to win. And for poor (I mean it when I say it) Elliot, he’s going to end up very very frustrated.

Yes, it is safe to say, I have mastered the art of teasing. My outfit today consists of normal work clothes covering a sexy silk teddy and some very sexy lace boy shorts. I’m planning on getting Elliot’s attention in the crib, where he spent the night.

After I spend a good half hour rigging Elliot’s computer to randomly quit programs when he’s in the middle of using them (those weeks in computer crimes really paid off), I head upstairs to the crib. I peer into the little window on the door and see my sleeping partner lying on a cot in the middle of the room. His muscular chest is exposed but the bottom half of his body is covered by the thin blankets. He’s sleeping in his boxers. How can I tell? His pants are draped over the end of the cot next to his.

Pushing open the door quietly, I wander into the room and over to my locker. As quiet as I can, I open my locker and begin to strip my shoes, shirt, and pants. I pull out a pair of stilettos and short-shorts I stuffed in here last night. Now, I’m dressed only in my teddy and panties.

I tip-toe over to the cot beside where Elliot is. Putting my shoes on the floor, I stand directly over Elliot with my back to him. He’s in the perfect position right now. One leg is stretched out on the cot and the other is hanging off the side and onto the floor. He’s perfectly open for me.

Stepping into the shorts to give me a reason to fall backwards, I pretend to stumble while getting my other leg through the shorts. As planned, I find myself falling and landing right between his legs. He wakes up on impact, extremely startled and annoyed. My head is leaning against his chest, my lower back pressed against his boys.

“What the hell?” he curses, trying to sit up. I turn around, still laying on him. Now, my stomach is pressed against him, and I can feel it growing as he catches a glimpse of the revealing top I’m wearing. It hardly covers my chest. Here I am, in nothing but my underwear, lying on top of him. Boy, I wonder what he’s thinking.

“Hi Elliot.” I try my best to look embarrassed, like this was an accident. The shorts are now down around my ankles. “I was getting dressed for an undercover gig, then it turned out they didn’t need me. I was trying to get out of the shorts and I stumbled.” I try to explain. Right now, he looks very irritated. I can feel why.

“Liv, just please get up.” he’s practically begging. I sigh and sit up, the shorts sliding from my feet. Awkwardly, I end up straddling him. He sees I’m wearing only my sexy underwear and he groans. I can’t help but rock my hips over him before standing. I take my time in this action as well, feeling him harden even more (which I didn’t think was possible) under me.

“Oh Jesus...” he groans, pulling the blanket up so it’s bunched up around his hips. Like I haven’t already seen it. I laugh and head over to my locker where my work clothes are. I can tell he’s watching me, not able to get the image out of his head. He wants me to screw him. He can’t understand why I’ll just leave him there with so much sexual frustration it will make him cry. That’s a sight I wish to see.

As I dress, my back turned to him, I hear him moan my name. I know exactly what he’s doing and I feel the urge to turn around and watch. Oh god... I think as I turn my head and see him on his side facing away from me with his hand down his boxers. For a moment, I actually feel sorry for him. That passes quickly.

Leaving him to continue alone, I head back down to the squad room where Munch is standing over a fresh box of donuts. I turn on our computers, then head over to the coffee maker where I make two cups of coffee. I grab a donut for me and for Elliot.

“You two over your fight yet?” Munch asked curiously, staring at the coffee and donut I got for Elliot.

“Nope.” is all I say as I set Elliot’s stuff on his desk and head over to my own. As soon as I sit down at my desk, Elliot comes into the room. He’s dressed in jeans and a t-shirt, and he doesn’t look to happy. His expression brightens a little when he sees the coffee and donut on the desk. I lean back and smile as he sits down. Taking a bite of the pastry, he immediately goes to his computer, ignoring me.

About five minutes later, I hear him swear loudly at his computer. I look up innocently and ask what’s wrong.

“Damn thing shut off when I was in the middle of the damn report! I didn’t get to save and now I have to start all over again!” he slams his fist on the table. I have almost achieved satisfaction for the day. I have to tease him one more time.

“Oh, El, let me take a look.” I tell him as I stride over to his desk, unbuttoning the top two buttons of my shirt. I lean over the side of his desk and take hold of the mouse. I am of course in such a position that if he were to look at me, one thing and one thing only would catch his eye. And it does. He’s staring right down my shirt. This is when I decide to make my last move.

I reach to grab something, what I’m not really sure, but in the process I knock the HOT coffee over and it spills in his lap. He swears loudly and jumps as his crotch is covered with the steaming liquid. Quickly, I grab paper towels I have on hand and tear off a large piece. I take the paper towel in my hand and reach down to clean up the mess. Well, ok, so I didn’t really clean up the mess. Instead, I fixed my hand in a firm grip around his boys.

He grabbed at the paper towels and struggles to get my hand away from him, as I’m not helping the situation much. My grip on his boys stay firm as I try and soak up the coffee on his thighs with my free hand.

“Liv...” he growls.

“What?” I question innocently.

“Let go of me unless you wanna take it a little farther.” his voice is low and filled with lust. It scares me a little, so I draw my hand away. I have a very shocked look on my face. With that, he disappears to into the crib to get changed, among other things.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

Elliot’s POV
Thursday

My only thoughts right now are about my partner. What kind of stunts would she pull today? Yesterday was a little much for me. After that morning, I spent the whole rest of the day with images of her with her hand down my pants or her straddling me in her sexy underwear. I think I jacked off more times yesterday that I have in the last ten years combined.

As I make my way into the squad room, I find that Olivia is already their. She seems perfectly normal. She’s busy working on a report. Again. There’s coffee and a donut on my desk. My computer is already turned on. Everything seems normal. Still suspicious, I sit down and stare at Olivia. She grins and waves at me, but says nothing. She has something planned.

“Benson, Stabler, my office. Now.” Cragen demands. I sigh as Olivia and I head into Cragen’s office. We both sit down and stare at the Captain.

“I need the two of you to go undercover at a strip club. Rumor has it that a few customers have been raping and beating the ladies at the clubs. Olivia, you know what your roll will be. Elliot, you will be a customer. You will stick together. If that means acting like the other happy customers and accepted Olivia’s services, you will.” Cragen looks directly at me on the last part. Oh crap. No wonder everything was normal today. I’m going to be stuck with Olivia giving me a lap dance for eight hours while we’re undercover. I can feel the pain just thinking about it.

Starlight Club

Olivia is back stage. The girls accepted her fairly quickly. I’m sitting here, a little antsy, waiting for her to come out. Looking around, I see all the scum seated around here, waiting for the afternoon show to begin. Suddenly, the music starts. About eight women come out, Olivia leading them. With my eyes glued to her the whole time, I watch them dance. And strip.

When the dance is over, the girls step off the stage and head towards different men. I hear some very interesting lyrics to a song as I wait for Olivia to come here.

I'll squeeze you, unease you, I’ll freeze you
Alarm you, disarm you, I’ll charm you
I'll block you, unlock you, I’ll shock you
You wanna fight, then we'll do it my way

“Hey sweetie, need some company?” Olivia asks seductively, lowering her toned ass onto my lap. Both of us feel me jump to attention. She wraps her arms around my neck and gently moves her hips to the beat of the music. GOD she’s killing me.

Right now, I’m so hard it hurts. She’s on me, giving me a lap dance while scoping out the club. I squirm and she looks at me.

“Don’t! I feel like I’m gonna fall.” she snaps at me.

“I feel like I’m gonna die.” I tell her. She just smiles and wiggles her ass on my lap. It’s like she’s trying to kill me because now it’s not funny anymore. It’s just painful.

“C’mon, El honey, join the fun. Get in the spirit!” she giggles, turning so she’s no longer sitting on my throbbing crotch.

“Or not.” I growl. Suddenly, I feel her hand unzipping my pants. Please don’t... is all I can think as she slips her hand into my pants and cups me. I close my eyes and bite my lip as I feel her begin to massage me. “Liv! We’re in public!” I whine, trying to get away from her. I have a feeling that she isn’t going to finish what she starts.

Boy do I find out how right I am. Just as I’m about to hit my climax, she pulls her hand out and jumps off my lap, running to go talk to one of her hooker friends. Now I’m angry and extremely horny. Not a good combination. I march right over to her and grab her arm. I pull her close to me.

“We’re going to your apartment where for once you can finish what you start, woman!” I hiss in her ear. She pulls her arm out of my grip, looking offended.

“How dare you!” she shrieks. She grabs some guy’s beer bottle from a nearby table and shoves it in my pants. It’s only then do I realize it’s a still full beer bottle. I pull the bottle out of my now soaking wet jeans and I look up to see an extremely tall man standing in front of me.

“Now is when you buy me another one.” the man said as he cracked his large knuckles. I dug around in my pants pocket and pulled out a wet ten dollar bill.

“Two for my buddy. Keep the change.” I squeak, rushing out of the club as fast as I can.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

Olivia’s POV
Thursday Night

I’m sitting in my apartment thinking about how the scheme with the club worked out great. It was actually Cragen’s idea. Can you believe that? I sigh and sip my tea contently as I watch the late night news. I love being so close to my partner and driving him crazy.

While I’m sitting here thinking of him, the buzzer rings. I stand up and press the button to let whoever it is in. I figure it’s either Casey or Elliot. Probably Elliot. I’ll take my chances. When he arrives at the door, I unlock it and let him in.

“So, pretty wild day today, huh?” I question. Without responding, he grabs my arm and slams his lips down on mine. At first, I’m shocked. He grinds his ever growing erection into me and I push back. He’s not going to have his way. As much as I want it, I’m not going to have sex with him. That would be letting him win the argument.

“Liv, please.” he growls, thrusting his hips against mine violently. I know he only wants that one thing. He’ll do anything to get it. He already pulling my clothes off and pushing me onto the counter. I wonder...would he go so far as to keep going if I said no? I’ll experiment.

“No, El.” I tell him, all seriousness present in my voice.

“You’ve got to be kidding!” he groans, turning away from me. “What the hell is your problem?” he’s yelling. Without waiting for me to answer, he turns away and unzips his pants. He’s going to jack off in my kitchen. Before he can, I reach around and cover his hands with mine.

“Not in the kitchen babe.” I whisper.

“But Liv...” he sounds like he’s gonna cry. I wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him, then I strip him of his clothing while he strips me.

“In the bedroom. I think you learned your lesson.”

You wanna fight, then we'll do it my way