A/N :

Yay, I can update again! I'm so sorry for making u all wait this long! –bows-

WHY I DIDN'T UPDATE FOR SO LONG?

These last months, my interest in Naruto manga AND fandom (especially KakaIru) is FAR lesser than usual and I don't find any strength OR time to build it for a while thanks to the ever growing college stuffs AND my new (or old) found interest of Inuyasha fandom AND the fact that Jiraiya and Itachi went - in recent chapters of manga (I've got my own plot for them! –wails-).

I've been trying to write TWO SesshoumaruxKagome fics (from Inuyasha) for a change and I'm surprised to say that I REALLY enjoy it more than I should. It looks like a change is what I need for a moment - with all stress built from college and the lack of appreciation I get here and the fact that the last time I enjoyed reading KakaIru fics was more than 4 months ago. I'm sorry! –bows-

WARNING : UNBETAED! BAD GRAMMARS AHEAD! (I'll post the betaed one later, depended on how long my beta, filleyice, can finish it.)

And for the love of God, I can not write romance or smut to save my life! I wrote the first part of this chapter based on ur comments (and biggest vote) on the last polling. Hopefully the fluff here is enough for u! –winks-

- Izky

Chapter 12 – The Lost Feeling : 4,126 words

"How can you smile...when you're nearly breaking inside?" The rumble of his deep voice in the midst of rain reverberated through her hear - straight into her heart.

"I don't-"

Oh no. You don't.

"Don't hide from me, Iruka. Please."

Then Kakashi bent his face to hers. Pressed his masked lips to her burning lips -

And Iruka could feel something inside her shatter.

Iruka slowly opened her eyes, feeling the sleepiness worn off as she could sense the sunlight on her skin.

Ugh...what happened...?

Watching the sunlight penetrating the window beside the bed she was sleeping on, Iruka got up – or tried to. She couldn't move her arms at all.

Turning her head aside to see what happened to her numb arms, the sight was something that she had never expected at all.

There, beside her lying form, a certain silver haired masked jounin was sleeping and trapping her smaller form with his body and arms.

"Ka...kashi-sensei?" She breathed slowly, taken aback at the form beside her.

Oh God...what the hell happened yesterday?

"Finally awake, huh?"

Iruka rather feel the familiar baritone voice through her body than the air around them as two stronger arms pulled her suddenly tensed body into a harder and muscled one. The brown haired kunoichi couldn't help but gasp as her face met with an expanse of black covered skin. Immediatelly her sense of smell hit an unfamiliar yet tantalizing scent of waterfall and thunder as she gripped the body –thankfully clothed- for balance.

Struggling to keep her blush down, Iruka gulped, brown eyes shifted upward, to the closed lids of her captor.

"Uhm...Could you let me go, Kakashi-sensei?"

The body against hers rumbled as its owner chuckled, pulling Iruka even tighter against its own. Another leg joined its counterpart, trapping Iruka's legs between them as the silver haired jounin finally opened his eyes.

Dark orbs met brown ones.

"I don't think I can. And we're hardly in any positions to call each other 'sensei', right Iruka?" The warm breath moved from its place on Iruka's temple down toward her lips as it finally mingled with another one.

Iruka could feel the hotness on her face as the masked face got closer to her own. She gulped. "Uhm...What happened?"

Kakashi raised his eyebrow, "Before or after we're going to bed?"

Iruka blushed hard as his not so innocent suggestion, "We did NOT do anything!"

The silver haired jounin chuckled as he finally let the chuunin free of his grip, turning to sit on the edge of the bed. Iruka noticed that both of them were still fully clothed, except the vests that lied innocently on the chair next to the single bed they were laying on.

"You fainted right after we had kissed for ten minutes or so. Lack of oxygen and sleep I presumed. So, I brought you to my place."

Iruka's face turned redder than a red lobster as the memory of their kissing –more like a heavy make out- in the rain appeared in her mind. "I'm sorry. I should go-"

Before she could make the hand seal to run away (and possibly bury herself under the ground for a long long time), Kakashi gripped her trembling hands in one clutch and pulled her into his own lap in seconds. Jounin speed.

"Hey! What-"

Then the jounin buried his face on her neck as his other hand occupied itself around Iruka's waist.

"You remembered my words back then?" The whisper was so soft, tingling Iruka's skin as its owner shivered at the sensation.

Iruka gulped, knowing better than asking what he meant. Kakashi's words had been ringing in her mind a few seconds before she drowned in those tantalizing masked lips hours ago.

"Don't hide from me, Iruka. Please."

"Yes." She whispered.

"I'm not a man of words, Iruka." Kakashi said in quiet voice, "But I hope this is enough to tell you what I feel."

He let one of Iruka's hands fell between them before lifting the other, slowly guiding it toward his black mask as his dark eyes had never left Iruka's surprised orbs.

"Kakashi? You don't need-" Iruka began protesting as the larger hand settled her hand on the place it wanted, her fingers touched the paler skin above the black fabric.

The dark orbs glinted with amusement as Iruka felt the jounin's hand moved into the back of her head, fingers moving in Iruka's hair. The ponytail would be the first thing to go, the jounin decided.

"May I?"

Kakashi leaned forward as they practically touched each other's chest. He could feel the deep, steady beat against his black shirt. Iruka's heart skipped a beat as she shivered in reaction, and the silver haired jounin could feel the responding pulse in his own blood.

Iruka slowly nodded.

With that, the fingers curled in the brown strands worked their magic as Iruka's trembling fingers slowly yet gently did something that Kakashi had never let anyone do before.

Finally, Kakashi's now mask-free lips brushed against Iruka's softer one. "Thank you," he murmured, the pitch so low it vibrated across all of Iruka's senses.

Obediently, Iruka parted her lips to the feel of Kakashi's mouth. Yet, instead of the impassioned intrusion she expected, Kakashi's lips hovered lightly over her for an instant, then tantalized with a flutter of light kisses, like the difference between weak sunlight and weak shade. It was so faint that the chuunin felt the difference as intuition rather then sensation.

Drowning in utter bliss at his gentle ministration, Iruka let her eyes closed as her hands slipped under the shirt and rested against warm bare skin.

"No. Thank you."

A WEEK LATER...

They had through a lot of things in a mere week.

Just regaining their spirit after the loss of their Hokage, Konoha couldn't take a rest as another threat came.

In the form of Akatsuki, a hidden organization which members were S-class criminals, the most wanted and dangerous individuals in the countries. Their existence was recently discovered by the country although no one knew since when the organization stood.

Two member of it, Uchiha Itachi and Hoshigaki Kisame came silently into the center of Konoha. Fortunately for the village, Kakashi, one of the best jounins, realized their hidden presences and alerted the other jounins.

The fight of jounins was unavoidable, but thankfully no one was dead as it was apparent that even they would rather avoid fighting against Jiraiya, one of the Sannin, who came at the last minute.

Yet, leaving two paralyzed victims in their steps.

Uchiha Sasuke was founded in shocked and paralyzed condition before his own apartment. Even with his private training with Kakashi, it was apparent that he was no match to his older sibling, Itachi, yet. When Itachi arrived in, he tried to use what he has learned to kill his brother, though the older Uchiha was able to defeat him with little effort and taunted his inability to get stronger. He was in coma at the moment.

And the other one , like Sasuke, was lying unconscious in the other hospital bed.

"Visiting again, Iruka-chan?"

The baritone voice of her sensei startled Iruka, who turned quickly to face the visitor. She smiled solemnly at Jiraiya, who smiled back and took the other chair beside hers.

"He hadn't moved at all, sensei."

Jiraiya nodded, eyes on the unconscious silver haired jounin on the bed as the white blanket covered all his body but his closed eyes and hair. The doctors and med-nins had tried everything they could, yet it seemed that Mangekyou Sharingan owned by one Uchiha Itachi was much stronger than they anticipated. "Yet he's still alive, Iruka-chan. And it is something we should be grateful for."

Iruka sighed yet agreed with the silver haired Sannin. As long as Kakashi (and Sasuke) proved to be alive, there must be a chance.

Eyeing the unsconcius jounin, Iruka wondered that maybe this new...thing (whatever it was) between her and Kakashi wouldn't be as good as she hoped.

It has been only a week since we kissed the hell out of each other in the rain and he's already in come right now. We haven't even had a chance to talk much even after that one night...

They had spent their nights together (Kakashi insisted) after the day Sandaime's funeral held on. Yet, far different than their first night (or morning after), their next few nights spent in pure sleeping as tiredness and stress ate their very beings. The loss of Sandaime, the shortage of Konoha personnels, and their own duties as jounin and chuunin were enough to make them occupied for hours in the field and office. They had been too tired to do anything but crash on the bed and slept like statues until the call of duty woke them in early morning or –in Kakashi's case- in the middle of night.

The mourning time was over and it was time to move on, one would say. Iruka understood that.

They hadn't talked about their recent ...relationship, but they had agreed silently that now wasn't the right time to discuss it as their duties of shinobi required their full attention at the moment. And ss much as she wanted to know and understand what made Kakashi decided to make the move that day, Iruka didn't want to add another burden on the jounin's shoulder at the moment as he was certainly too busy to think anything else but the missions which increased drastically each day. He had his own share of stress being one of the best jounins in the field, Iruka knew it.

And she had her own share as well.

"Has Izumo tried on him or Sasuke?" Jiraiya suddenly asked, breaking Iruka's inner musing. Again.

Turning to gaze at another pair of familiar dark eyes (so familiar with the unconscious silver haired jounin's), Iruka shook her head as tiredness escaped her tone. "He did. But he failed. He said too much chakra and skill required and he couldn't."

"I see. You're working too much, girl." Jiraiya sighed as he patted the much younger nin on the shoulder, eyeing the piling up academy papers and reports scattered on the table beside Iruka's chairs. "Don't tell me you has been staying here since he're taken to the hospital. Which was more than twenty-hour ago."

Iruka chose not to answer, which was a yes to her sensei. Sensing the worry growing on his face, Iruka decided to change the topic. "What about the court? It seems to me that they're still looking for the next Hokage, Jiraiya-sensei."

Jiraiya shrugged, "They're offering me the position, but nope. I don't find sitting on my ass all day good for me."

Iruka raised her eyebrow, a small grin on her face. "I recall that you dreamt to be a Hokage one day, sensei. Why the sudden change of heart?"

The silver haired Sannin sniffed at her expression, "Hmph. I changed my mind after watching the old mind drowned in his papers long ago. That's a fate that worse than the death to me."

Iruka pondered his words as the implications reeled inside her mind. "But you're the strongest Konoha shinobi after Sandaime-sama himself. Who would-"

Jiraiya cut her words off as he hardened his stare against hers in seconds. "Thats' what I want to tell you, child. This is about the empty Hokage position and the recovery of Kakashi and our Uchiha boy."

"Then..."

Jiraiya nodded, "Because of my refusal, the court chooses the next best thing for the Hokage position. And fortunately, that same person is the only one I can think to cure this brat and that Sasuke boy from their coma."

Iruka narowed her eyes as she already guessed what it was. Few could make Jiraiya act this serious in front of hers. "You mean that..."

Nodding, Jiraiya prepared himself for his next words to his favorite chuunin.

"We'll find Tsunade, one of the Sannin."

Iruka gasped as the name which haunted hers for so long was uttered from the Sannin's lips. "What-"

Sensing the abrupt change of her chakra, Jiraiya immediatelly pulled the shocked chuunin into his arms as he tried to calm her down. Cursing inside at how bland he explained it to his favorite chuunin, Jiraiya traced the lines of Iruka's cheekbones and jaws slowly, trying to force his own chakra to surround the tensed Iruka.

"Sssh...I know it's difficult for you, but I want to ask you this, my girl. Think this as my request to you. Please, just...try, okay?"

Iruka gulped, drowning in her sensei's dark red and green robe as the familiar sandalwood and waterfall filled her senses. The tension on her shoulders was fading away as she closed her eyes, resigned.

"I'll try, sensei."

"What! You're going with Jiraiya-sensei? Tommorow? Why?" Iruka couldn't help but raise her voice as the news get to her. She had been feeling edgy since the silver haired Sannin told her his plan to go find a certain blonde Sannin.

"That's right, sensei! The pervert-sannin asked me to come with him and find this 'Tsunade' person for the court. He said that he would like to teach me more cool jutsus along the trip! Isn't is great?" Naruto grinned widely as he gobbled down the ramen before him. He was watching the television on the sofa as Iruka chose to work on her student's papers on the short table before the said sofa when he decided to tell his sensei the news. It was the first time the blonde gennin visited her again after days of mourning and training harder under the tutelage of –surprising to Iruka- Jiraiya himself. He had beed busier than ever now, but Iruka accepted that.

"But isn't it dangerous?" Iruka couldn't help but asked as tension slowly filled her body. Asking the others, she knew that Naruto was in danger of abduction by Akatsuki, a hidden organization which recently discovered by Konoha thanks to their attacks a few days ago. And surely going with Jiraiya alone would increase that risk, right?

Naruto sniffed at her worry, turning his eyes from the television as he laughed at his surprised sensei. "I'm not a little boy anymore, sensei! I won the match against Gaara and that Sasuke-bastard was lost to him. Beat that, ha!" Yet, at the mention of his rival's name, Naruto's laugh slowly died down.

"Naruto..."

Shaking his head, Naruto grinned slightly at his too worried sensei. "Don't worry, sensei. Sasuke will wake sooner and I'll beat him up for making all of us worry like that. And of course, Kakashi-sensei will get one too."

"Sometimes your optimism astounds me, Naruto..." Iruka chuckled as worry was turning into amusement at her student's words. Sighing inside at the resolute face of Naruto, Iruka knew better to protest and persuade him to refuse Jiraiya's invitation to travel. "You're full of yourself, you know?" She added.

"It doesn't stop you from loving me, right sensei?" Naruto grinned cheekily.

Iruka smiled as her heart warmed over his words. "No, it doesn't."

"Well...now that I already told you that one...I want to ask you something, sensei..."

"What is it, Naruto?" Iruka blinked at the rare and odd expression on the blonde gennin's face. There was a hint of blush coloring Naruto's tan cheeks when his blue eyes turned to face her instead of the anime scene in TV before him. Ramen bowl was empty and forgotten on his lap.

"Uh…..can I ask you something, sensei?"

Iruka smiled, deciding to work on those files later. She sat on the couch next to the gennin instead. "What's wrong? Worried about tommorow? I know it's dangerous for you, but well...I'm sure you can look after yourself, right?" She brushed the blonde strands, enjoying the wide grin Naruto threw at her words.

That's the least I can do for doubting your skills until now…

I just hope things would be okay…. Surely Jiraiya-sensei has enough reason to take Naruto with him...

"Well….actually it's not about that…" Naruto sniffed as he tried to hide the growing redness on his cheek with his palm. But no, it went unmissed by Iruka herself.

"…then what do you want to talk about?"

"Eer….actually….. there's a girl…."

Iruka raised her eyebrow. Uh ...oh...

"Uh…..you know Hinata right? That white eyed girl who always stutter before me?"

Iruka couldn't help but grin at his question. The growing blush on the blonde gennin was the clue for her.

Ah….. now I see….. Hinata-chan…

"Oh…you mean Hinata-chan from Hyuuga family? She's a very very nice girl. What's about her, Naruto?"

Naruto brushed his head out of frustration as he lowered his eyes to the coffee table before them, muttering low, "I feel…weird about her, sensei."

"Weird?"

"Uh….it feels like anything inside my stomach want to turn upside down if she goes closer to me and I think I have a fever whenever I see her smile. It's weird." Naruto explained, grumbling in frustration.

Iruka couldn't help but chuckle at his words. "Ahahahaha…. It's not weird, Naruto."

Well…well… It's finally the time to have 'the talk' , huh?

Naruto raised his eyebrows in confusion at her. "Huh? How come it's not weird, sensei? I think I'm sick or something!"

Iruka grinned, slightly amused at the boy's obliviousness. "Sick…? Well….you are sick…..in a way, Naruto."

Naruto immediately sat straight; wide blue eyes stared up at Iruka's brown ones expectantly, "Really, sensei? Do you know what's wrong with me? Do I need to get doctor? Or hospital? What disease?"

Iruka sweat dropped at the blonde's reaction. "Calm down, Naruto. It's not like what you think, really…."

"Huh? I am not sick then?"

Iruka sighed as she ruffled the familiar blonde strands fondly. It was longer a few millimeters now. "Your body is very very healthy, Naruto. You have the fastest recovery rate of all the gennins' in this exam, you know that yourself."

Thanks to the Kyuubi inside you….

Naruto nodded as he leaned more into his favorite sensei's touch. "So? If I'm healthy like you said, why did I feel these things then, sensei?"

Iruka smiled at his innocent words. It was obvious that Naruto hadn't had any clues at all. "Well…before I answer your question, answet mine first, okay?"

"Huh? About what?"

"Have you ever felt like this before?" Iruka grinned, waiting for Naruto's response.

The blonde gennin simply blinked in confusion. "Huh? Well…. I guess not. Why, sensei?"

"Are you sure, Naruto? You said you feel these things in front of Hinata-chan. Have you ever felt the same things before any others people? Like Sakura-chan maybe?" Iruka kept pressing on.

Naruto blinked again, thinking for a minute before grinning sheepishly. "Uhm…. I thought I had felt that before back when we were still at the Academy sensei."

"And who was it?"

Naruto turned his head warily to their surrounding, as if he sensed something dangerous before he whispered low beside Iruka's ear. "It was Sakura-chan, sensei. Don't tell Sasuke-baka though or he will kill me."

Sakura-chan? And Sasuke-kun…?

Iruka chuckled at Naruto's guarded expression. "Naruto. It's only the two of us here. You don't need to whisper like that you know."

Naruto grinned sheepishly as he turned his head away. "Sorry, sensei. It's just an habit. Sasuke-baka doesn't like people talking about him and Sakura. Stupid possessive baka he is."

"Language, Naruto."

"Whoops, sorry 's quite obvious now that Sakura's quite taken in Sasuke –and vice versa. I don't want to meddle between them, sensei."

Iruka raised her eyebrows.

Sasuke-kun and Sakura-chan? I know they're close... But I don't expect they're much closer than teammates.

She hadn't expected the young Uchiha to fall on anyone yet as he rather like training for hours than talking about girls (As if his fangirls weren't enough). And the sight of a worried and solemn Sakura sitting for hours beside an unconscious Sasuke was something she thought as a team-mate's concern, or maybe –grimaced- a crush which would fade in time.

But apparently Naruto disagreed.

"Does it bother you to see both of them like that?" She decided to humor Naruto.

Naruto shrugged, "Well….. I dunno. It happened since months ago that I already am used to them. No one can miss how sometimes Sasuke-kun smile before Sakura-chan… and one must be blind NOT knowing Sakura's huge love in Sasuke. But what's that got to do with this, sensei?"

Iruka sweat dropped at the still clueless look in Naruto's face.

He can understand what's going on between his teammates better than the others, even me…. But...don't tell me he doesn't understand what he's into himself.….

"Okay….. how about this….. what do you think of Hinata-chan?"

Naruto grinned, "Hinata-chan? I think she's a nice girl –although sometimes too shy. But she's so nice to me! She's also the one who told me to be patient with you after –well- that night, sensei. She's smart and patient with me and she doesn't mind me babbling before her like most people! Oh, and she likes my stories, sensei!"

Iruka couldn't help but smile at Naruto's answer. It was very obvious the blonde gennin was so taken with the gentle Hyuuga girl.

How come he hasn't realized his feeling yet?

"Wait a minute… Naruto…. That night? Hinata-chan told you what?"

Naruto blinked at her.

Iruka blinked back.

And finally Naruto answered. "Oh, you mean about that? Well… I was confused at that time so I asked her what to do. But don't worry, I just asked in general and I didn't include any names, sensei."

Iruka smiled as relief filled her being. "I believe you, Naruto."

No wonder he could catch on my situation so fast... I think I would give my thanks to Hinata-chan later...

Naruto smiled back.

Raising her eyebrows, Iruka eventually grinned. "So...do you understand now, Naruto?"

Naruto blinked.

Iruka sweatdropped, for a second, contemplating if she should just let Naruto know what happened with him. Yet, it wouldn't be fair for both of Naruto and Hinata as the blonde gennin would go away next day.

"Never mind... I'll tell you after you're back, alright?"

"Huh? Okay, sensei!"

Oh well...I'll try again next time...

THE NEXT DAY ...

It was so hauntingly familiar to her.

The sight of Jiraiya's standing form was terrifingly similar to her last memory of him at their parting those years ago.

But now, instead of standing alone, on his side stood a grinning Naruto, his own pack ready on his back.

"Be careful, okay?" Iruka ruffled the blonde strands as she smiled at the eagerness on Naruto's face.

"You too, Iruka-sensei!" Naruto nodded as he smiled so widely. Now he could help finding the person who could cure Sasuke-bastard and Kakashi-sensei AND train as long as he wanted with the pervert-sannin. Boy, he can't wait!

"Where's Sakura-chan? Shouldn't she be here as well?" Iruka looked around at the empty huge gate before them.

Naruto shook his head, "I already met here before going here, sensei. She wouldn't want to leace Sasuke-bastard. Che, she's worry so much I see she's turning into you, sensei!"

Iruka pretended to scowl at Naruto's words, "Oh, I see. Wait until I tell Sakure-chan that you dislike her-"

"Wait! Wait! I don't mean like that, sensei! Please don't tell Sakura-chan I said that!" Naruto immediatelly latched himself onto Iruka's front.

Chuckling again, Iruka patted Naruto's head gently. "I'm joking, Naruto. Just go and bring...her back, alright?"

She wouldn't think of any of her past for now, she decided last night. Naruto could read her better each day and she didn't want their last sleeping over before parting for who-know-how-long burdened with anything but jokes and smiles.

She would face it when the time came.

For now... I'm a chuunin of Konoha and there's lots of duties waiting to be finished.

There's no time to indulge in the past.

"Sure thing, sensei!"

Nodding and letting Naruto out of her arms, the brown haired chuunin finally met the gaze of her silver haired sensei. "Please take care of Naruto and yourself, Jiraiya-sensei."

And please come back alive.

Grinning softly, Jiraiya nodded back as he read the glint inside those brown eyes. "I will. See you later, Iruka-chan."

Like the previous time,she gave him her best smile. .

As their figures slowly was fading away from her sight, Iruka tilted her head upward.

It was definitely a bright day.

"Take care….sensei…."

She gave him her best smile.

He gave her his last grin and he vanished in the swirl of leaves.

Standing alone now, she slowly tilted her head upward.

The bright sunny sky answered her eyes.

"It's raining, huh?," She asked no one.

And it was.

.

.

.

Tbc...

A/N:

How is it? Hope u like this chapter! The next chapter will be hopefully up in 2-3 weeks, I can't promise though. Just pray I get enough inspiration for this and review please!

- Izky