|Man to Man Talk
Author: puRpLebLuSh017 PM
What's that thing sticking out of your pocket? It read: FRISKY CONDOM, Strawberry Flavor. Congratulations! You picked out a good choice! Our bestseller! ENJOY! [slightly crack][sasusaku]Rated: Fiction T - English - Romance/Humor - Sasuke U. & Sakura H. - Words: 4,541 - Reviews: 102 - Favs: 303 - Follows: 31 - Published: 10-18-07 - Status: Complete - id: 3842355
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Standard Disclaimer Applied. Man to Man Talk
Standard Disclaimer Applied.
Man to Man Talk
Written by Purpleblush017
"Sakura, he's here!"
The door swung open and revealed a tall lean man, with raven hair and features that's so feminine. His deep onyx eyes were like a puzzle women would love to solve and drown in. There's a dash of loneliness with a mixture of something bizarre in his eyes, something one person with or without expertise could figure out, but the strong striking sense of its presence is there. His pale face, so perfectly smooth, kept, clean and glowing, it's probably because of what he eats.
Insert banner: TOMATOES ARE GOOD FOR YOUR SKIN!
His thin and adorable lips, it can make all the women (and men) go insane. And behind the tuxedo he's wearing, lies a body women would die for to have and hold. All in all, Uchiha Sasuke is the closest thing bearing the title "Prince Charming", well, second to his older brother of course. Uchihas have good genes. Ah, those praiseworthy genes.
"Konbanwa, Haruno-san." Sasuke greeted the woman who opened the door for him with a slightly low bow accommodated with a gorgeous half-smile.
The woman in front of Sasuke, Haruno Rei, who had her long pink hair in a low ponytail bowed as well and nodded. Seems like Harunos have good genes too. Sasuke knows that she's one of those traditional Japanese women who practice speaking 'gozaru' (1). "Konbanwa, Uchiha-san." She ushered Sasuke inside as she closed the door shut. "I'm making dinner, so make yourself at home, okay? Sakura will be here any moment." Giving him another nod and a warm smile, she and her apron skipped to the kitchen to do her magic.
Looking around the house, Sasuke could see lots of family photos framed and hung on the wall. There was even a hall of Sakura's pictures in one corner of the room which totally clashed with the yellow-orange wallpaper. Shrugging it off, Sasuke entered a room which appeared to be the living room.
There was one long black and white couch with a small glass table on each side, there were two beanbags parallel to the table, and in between the beanbags was an antique table with Cali Lilies on a crystal blue vase on the middle. Aside form the television a few feet away from the couch, everything else were girly, from the floral purple wallpaper, the lacy pink curtains, to the little knickknacks and decorations displayed in the room.
"So…" there was another man who entered the room, must be the man of the house, "you're Uchiha Sasuke?" the man who had a broader shoulder and looked a lot older than Sasuke said questioningly, as if in doubt.
Sasuke took notice of the man's newly shaven beard and his clean and gelled brown hair. He was also wearing an eyeglass that shimmered in the florescent light; he was holding a briefcase, probably just got out of work. "Hai. Konbanwa, Haruno-san. Uchiha Sasuke desu." (2)
The man sat down on the couch and loosened his tie. "Haruno Kenji desu. I'm Sakura's father." There was emphasis, a strong one. He put down his briefcase on the side. "Sit down." It was neither a request nor an offer, it was a direct command.
"Aa." And Sasuke sat on the beanbag, which made a squeaky sound in the process. Compared to the couch, it was a little lower than he expected. He felt like a child being scolded by his father.
Daddy Haruno eyed him and took notice of his new Tux and sneered. He glanced at the stairs and back again at Sasuke. "Here's the deal, Uchiha. Your filthy hand stays where they are. Not one finger of yours or a single strand of your hair is to touch any part and I mean—any part of my daughter. You are not even allowed to look and think about her in the wrong way, or heaven forbid me I will disembowel you! You got that?"
Sasuke, being the genius that he is, grasped the situation will full comprehension. The rumors were true. This must be the protective daddy men at school who have asked Haruno Sakura out were talking about. This must be the person whom they speak of, the same cause who made those suitors chicken out on the date. Sasuke nodded, "Sir, I am not—"
"How old are you?" Daddy asked immediately, not giving time for Sasuke to defend himself from the threat.
Apparently, there is something scary about Haruno-san. Must be the way he looks at people or maybe the seriousness of his aura and his tone because he sounds like he could really deliver. Either way, an Uchiha is not scared of anything, and Sasuke is an Uchiha. "Seventeen." He answered, strong, loud and clear.
"What do you do for a living? How much does it pay?"
Sasuke looked at Haruno Kenji as if he grew antlers on his head, "Sir, I'm only seven—"
"So?" Haruno-san raised an eyebrow. "How are you going to feed my daughter then? Food coupons? Bah. I didn't raise that kid and spent money on her so that she'll end up being fed like a dog!" by the looks of it, Haruno-san must be a blue-collar worker, must be earning a good amount of money. By his appearance alone, Haruno-san must be in a high position in a company.
The younger man in the living room sighed. Sasuke wasn't going to bring this up, but hey, drastic measures are to be dealt with accordingly. "If it helps," he started. "I'm stinking filthy rich. I'm an Uchiha. My father owns five star hotel chains and every other sort of business." The words flew out of Sasuke's mouth with no hint of proud and gloating, it was more like he was reciting a memorized line.
Unfortunately, it left a bad taste in Daddy-san's tongue. "Is that supposed to impress me?"
"No. Did it?" Sasuke could feel himself smirking.
Daddy has decided that he loathes the man he was talking to and his smirk. "Don't get your hopes up, boy! That didn't impress me at all! So what if you have a lot of money?" He will not be outsmarted by one feminine-looking boy. "Why did you ask my daughter out?"
There was a pause. Sasuke had been expecting that question, but how to put it? How to answer it? "Should I answer honestly?"
The older quite looked offended. "Of course! Damn it!" Daddy-san raised the tine of his voice. He cursed and mentally took not of putting a hundred yen on the 'No raising your voice inside the house' jar and another hundred yen for the 'No cursing inside the house' jar. It was all Mommy Haruno's idea regarding the house rules. (3)
Sasuke looked appalled and shrugged it off. "I won a bet." He answered. Simple. Short. Concise. That's Uchiha Sasuke's trademark, aside form his deadly glare of course.
"A bet?" there was interest and disgust in his voice. "You're taking my daughter out just because you won a bet? That's stupid! I will not tolerate this nonsense! Go home boy, scram! Shoo!"
Sasuke felt like some dog, and he does not deserve this kind of treatment. He will not leave, especially if it meant defeat. "The stupid bet was your daughter's idea, sir."
There was disbelief. "You're lying!"
Sigh. "Your precious daughter couldn't accept me winning some literature contest she joined. She then challenged me to another competition during the Sports fest. If she wins the hundred meter race, I'll give her the trophy and forfeit on the next literary contest. But if I win, she'll have to go on a date with me. I won." I always win. Sasuke smirked. Wow, that must be the longest continues speech he have made in a plain conversation. Praise the Lord!
Daddy-san eyed him suspiciously. "You must have cheated!"
Sasuke reacted, "There was no use cheating. With your daughter's short legs, she'll never outrun me."
"You're so full of yourself! How dare you say something like that about my daughter!"
Daddy-san gave out a heavy sigh. "How much will it cost me to make you leave? Will a hundred thousand be enough?" Daddy-san reached his briefcase and took out his wallet. If scaring him won't work, then bribery will definitely solve it. Money solves everything!
"My weekly allowance is around three to seven million yen, Haruno-san." (4) Sasuke stated, smirking.
Daddy-san froze in spot and put away his wallet. Damn you rich bastard! There was a pregnant pause, probably devising another plan to get rid of the unwanted suitor. He faked a cough. "You say that this date is won by a bet. Why go through with it? I can understand that my daughter is not on your caliber. So, let's just forget this whole thing and let's move on. Agreed?" he held out his calloused hand for a handshake.
Sasuke looked at his hand. "I think I'll pass." Daddy-san have bruised Uchiha Sasuke's ego. He have taunted him, accused him, doubted him, even tried to bribe him, and now this? Sasuke frowned. "Sakura and I made a deal, Haruno-san. I have made a written contract for that matter and she signed it wholeheartedly. I have won fair and square. I expect to harbor my labor."
Harbor my labor? Are you joking me? There was confusion and anger in Daddy-san's face as his eyebrow twitched. This was just not making any sense at all. "My daughter will not be a victim of your emotional charades, Uchiha. You look as if you're not into her at all. So why come here and bother?"
Sasuke considered the question and thought about it before answering. "I have been in the same class as your daughter from grade school, Haruno-san." A short pause, "I have been teasing her, playing pranks on her, I've also been stalking her for the last few years or so. I have been thinking about her lately. I have this funny fuzzy feeling inside whenever I see her in the same perimeter of another man." Pause. Think. "As Naruto put it, I seem to have the hots for her."
Daddy-san's mouth hung open. Teasing? Playing pranks? Stalking? Thinking about her? Jealousy? Hots for her? His poor mind seemed to be going through an information overload. "You like her!" An accusation.
"Apparently, yes." So bold of you, Uchiha Sasuke, so bold of you.
Haruno Kenji scowled. This is bad. Baby princess a.k.a. Sakura-hime also has a big-time thing for Uchiha Sasuke, but she hides it. Daddy-san knows, he secretly reads her diary to keep track of his precious unica hija's life. (5) "Well then, Uchiha Sasuke, this brings us to a whole new level." He likes her. She likes him. This is a big trouble for Daddy. He glanced at the clock. "What do you intend to do in this date of yours?"
"Dinner at an Italian restaurant."
Daddy eyed him. "She's allergic to anything with Italian on it."
Sasuke raised an eyebrow. Daddy is getting a little desperate, isn't he? "French cuisine."
"She's allergic to French too!"
"Nope. She's on a diet. Try again."
"She's allergic to anything classy. Makes her gag." Daddy-san said, with an aura of pride. "I know my daughter like the back of my palm!"
Really? Sasuke smirked. Then how come she loves eating pasta at school? He looked amused. "What does she eat then?"
"Veggies. Anything green." Obviously, Daddy-san is lying and it's not working either. "So that's why you two should conduct this 'date' of yours here, in my presence so that I can supervise the two of you. That way, you won't get a chance of hitting on her." Daddy-san said, shoving Sasuke's buttons harder, waiting for him to crack.
Too bad, Uchihas are patient too. "I planned for us to watch a movie or two on I-max." (7)
Scowling, Daddy-san counter-attacked. "We have a DVD player here. Sakura's not very picky when it comes to the place where she's watching."
"We would also walk around the Fountain Park."
"How about I walk the two of you around my humble abode, isn't that lovely? We have a nice garage."
Okay, Daddy-san is just being difficult and ridiculous. I guess he could be hard and ridiculous as well. "We'll go Skiing."
Daddy-san's eyebrows met one another. "That's insane! It's summer!"
"We could use one of my jets to fly to England or North Pole or somewhere where it snows to go skiing."
"You wouldn't! You can't possibly—"
Sasuke flashed him a cold taunting smirk. "I'm rich, remember?"
Kenji adjusted his eyeglasses and glared hard on Sasuke. "If you dare, I'll go tag along with you. I'm part of the package." He sounded so serious. Dead serious.
"That's not part of the deal, Haruno-san." Sasuke took out a piece of paper from his right pocket and unfolded it neatly, "I have a written contract. Or do you want my lawyers to go see this through?"
Damn! He's not just rich, he's smart too. "Fine." Daddy-san said grudgingly. "Let's stick with the I-max thing then." He looked at the clock. "What time to do you expect to bring her home? Sakura has a curfew."
"What time is her curfew?" Sasuke asked, pocketing the contract.
"Depends. What time do you expect this 'date' to end?"
Sasuke slightly looked perplexed. "I—"
But Daddy-san cut him off. "You don't know? It's okay. It's six thirty. Bring her home by seven. Okay?"
Unbelievable! This man won't stop. Sasuke glared at the older and tried to relax. This is, after all, Sakura's father. Relax. Breathe in. And out. In and out. Whatever Daddy-san is doing is starting to work now. Aside from Sasuke's aniki, Uchiha Itachi, who loves to tease him and make his live miserable, Daddy could pass on annoying the hell out of Sasuke's insides, just like Sakura. Hey, the apple does not fall far from the tree.
And again, using Daddy-san's power as Sakura's father, more like probably being older than him, he used this power to cut him off. "What's that?" he seemed to be glaring at it, faintly recognizing it's appearance in shock. "That—that thing sticking out of your pocket!" there was urgency to confirm whatever theory he has.
Sasuke, being the good boy that he is, looked at his right side pocket and took the small square red foil pack which seemed to dangling. His eyes widened in alert. What the hell? On that very same small square red foil pack he was holding in his hand, on its label, written in big and bright capital letters, it read:
(Caption): Congratulations! You picked out a good choice! Our bestseller! ENJOY!
Sasuke lowered his head to his side and cursed. That dobe! So that's why he was acting all weird and giggly before he left. He intentionally slipped this, this thing in his pocket. (Naruto: "Make a miracle, teme!") Sasuke made a note to hunt him down and peel the dobe's skin like an apple. He made sure that he'll give that blonde idiot an unbearable death. Must. KILL. DOBE!
But before that, he must make sure Daddy0san does not take this the wrong way. He looked at his older companion, Uh-oh, too late. Kenji's face turned pale to bluish, as if he's seen a ghost of some sort or his daughter's (awful, awful) cooking.
Sasuke kept his cool and said, "This," he raised the red small foil pack in air. "…is candy."
As if that could fool a man who's using one of those things. "T-that's—! That's a CONDOM!" Daddy-san shrieked like a school girl. "YOU!" he narrowed his eyes on him, standing up. "You're planning to—! YOU! You SEX-FIEND bastard!"
"This is candy." Sasuke insisted.
Anger and frustration rose, "That's not candy! You and I both know what that is! Inside that foil pack is a long stretchable cylindrical rubber band that you put on your (censored) before performing an intercourse! With that thing on, you could possibly avoid your filthy gene carries engulfing my Sakura-hime's own, thus avoiding procreation!" daddy-san lectured, with spit and saliva diving out of his mouth. He rasped.
Sasuke blushed. Daddy-san seems to be into perfect details, isn't he? Well, this is awkward. If Uchihas hate to lose, (sore losers!) they are also stubborn. Plainly stubborn. "This is candy." He kept telling, maintaining his ground.
Daddy-san growled and leaned back on the couch, rubbing his temples, relaxing. After a few moments, he sat straight, intertwined his fingers and placed his jaw on top of it. He gave Sasuke a murderous glare. "What is your real intention on my daughter?"
"Do I have to tell the truth?" he asked, almost innocently.
Daddy-san gritted his teeth. "I swear on my grandfather's grave, Uchiha Sasuke, I—!"
I'll take that as a yes, "I plan on going steady with your daughter. After high school graduation, I intend to go to the same university she enters. I'll probably enroll in most of the class she's in." Pause, "The, after college graduation, marriage. And then kids."
"MARRIAGE? KIDS?" Daddy-san couldn't believe it. He was not scaring Sasuke, Sasuke is scaring him, and it looks unintentional too. "You're crazy! You're only seventeen and yet you outlined a life with my daughter? I won't allow that to happen! I'll hinder your stupid plans!"
Sasuke smirked, "We'll see."
There was a sound of heels clicking, and on queue, Haruno Sakura entered the room dressed in a black tube with a white obi hugging just below her breast up to her stomach. The ruffles ends of her dress reached up to her knees, giving her a taller look and at the same time, showing those beautiful legs of hers. The dress was Chanel. Good taste, Sasuke. (8)
She was wearing lacy white two-inch high heels, Italian made. She's carrying a glittering black and white stripe purse, Louis Vuitton. On her smooth neck, there lay a simple yet elegant cross crystal necklace. She had her hair in a Chignon with a few magical loose strands of pink hair to add the sexy effect. On her ears were simple 14K diamond earrings. Sakura's curled lashes and her emerald eyes were heightened by the light natural make-up. Her cheeks, puffy and pink. Her lips, shimmering in Salmon pink, so kissable.
At one glance, you'll come to think and wonder if she's an angel fallen out of the sky.
"Hey," Sakura greeted, uttering it like a spell, enchanting Sasuke, which seemed to be working. Sasuke stood up and stared at her, captivated by her striking presence, so overwhelming. Sakura smiled. "I'm sorry if I took long, Uchiha, your hairdresser's a riot."
Sasuke smirked. "She did a good job."
Sakura frowned, "That's an indirect compliment, Uchiha, and I need more than that." She teased, then giving a flirty smile.
Daddy-san stared at the scene, all the flirting, all the radiance of love and essence between the two of them is there, strong and so obvious. And yet he couldn't understand it. Is this the new trend? The new kind of love the century is into? What happened to the traditional declaration of undying love and the poetic verses utters by the suitors? What horrible, horrible future is Haruno Kenji in? What's worse? It's happening to his very own daughter! Oh, God!
Sasuke looked at the man and sighed. "I'll wait for you in the limousine." He tapped Sakura's bare shoulder and went out of the house. The forgotten "candy", sneakily safe and sound in his pocket.
"Tou-chan?" (9) Sakura called, trying to snap his father out of his dilemma.
"Pepper Spray!" daddy-san suddenly shouted, he went through his briefcase and took out a small bottle and handed it to his daughter. He grabbed Sakura's shoulders.
"Sakura-hime, use this Pepper Spray if ever he tries to do anything fishy to you! You got that? At dinner, poke his eyes out if he's looking at somewhere he shouldn't be looking at. If that bastard brushed his hands on any part of your body, stab him with the knife lying on the table! Oh, my baby, scream your lungs out if he cornered you in the park! Don't fret! Call the emergency hotline! Call the Fire department! Call the police! Call anyone! Okay?"
Sakura gently smiled. "Hai!" she then wounded her small arms around her Daddy. "I love you, Tou-chan!" she buried her face on his chest, "You know that. You're number one here in my heart!" she pecked his father's cheeks and let go. "So, how do I look?"
Daddy-san could feel a tear forming on his eyes. His only child, his precious daughter, his treasure, his only Sakura-hime, "You look stunning!"
"Wonderful!" Sakura held her skirt and twirled. "This means a lot, Tou-chan." Smile. Smile. So precious. So alive. "Don't worry, I'll take care of myself." She slightly bowed and ran towards the front door.
Daddy-san opened the window and shouted, "Put me on Speed Dial, honey!" he could see Sakura wave at him as she entered the limousine. After the door closed, the long, black and expensive car drove out of sight.
"What do you think of him? They make a lovely couple, don't they?" Haruno Rei asked as she hugged his husband from the back. "He's a nice boy." A bright smile like her daughter's. "He's handsome," she nuzzled on his neck. "plus, he's rich too! Aint' we lucky?"
Daddy-san sneered and touched his wife's hands around him. "I won't let our daughter…" he couldn't bear saying it. "I won't give my Sakura-hime that easily."
Mommy Haruno smiled at his husband's cute and protective antics. "You're starting to sound just like my father." (10) Giggle. "You finally met your match, Haruno-san." Another sneer from husband. "Anyway, get used to his presence in this house as well as in your daughter's life, I have a feeling we'll be seeing him often."
"Sasuke-kun, what did you do to make my dad freak out like that? He's more protective today."
Smirk. "I made an impression."
"Ne, what's that thing sticking out of your pocket, Sasuke-kun?"
Purpleblush017: That's a long one! Racked my brains for each line. This is the first time I've been so much into details, so many descriptions. Haha, anyway, I hope you had fun. Here are some notes about the story:
(1) Speaking 'Gozaru' is like, very polite in Japanese. If you watch Rourouni Kenshin (Samurai X in some countries), in the Japanese version, you could see and hear that Kenshin Himura is using 'gozaru'. And yes, about Sasuke knowing that Haruno Rei speaks this way goes way back at some athletic meet where they met one another. As well as Student-Parent-Teacher conferences, I'll leave the rest to your imagination.
(2) Kombanwa / Konbanwa – good evening. Monane-san says that it's Komban– this evening, tonight. Buts some books say it's Konban. Some books say it's Komban. Either way, pick one that is to your liking.
When you place 'desu' at the end of your name, it's roughly translated to introducing yourself. You could also use (sensei said so): "Watashiwa, namai wa Uchiha Sasuke desu. (My name is Uchiha Sasuke.)" You could also use "Watakushi wa Uchiha Sasuke desu." (I am Uchiha Sasuke.) So, "Uchiha Sasuke desu." is like an informal introduction, like a shortened introduction.
(3) House rules are fun. People do it all the time. And the consequence is either you put money on a jar, sometimes a piggy bank, or you have to sacrifice a watching a television program for one day or something like that. Oh, sometimes, they make the rule-breakers eat vegetables too. And one should not leave the table without finishing it. Been there, done that.
(4) This sounds almost unbelievable too. I've encountered people whose allowances exceed thousands a week but not one past five thousand a week. Imagine that in dollars. But hey, Sasuke has to be the super-duper rich character. It just fits him too well.
(5) Yes, Daddy reads Sakura-chan's diary, bad daddy! Sshh, Mommy Haruno reads it too.
Unica hija is roughly translated to "my only daughter".
(6) Otoro is some expensive tuna fish, I think. Anyway, it's expensive. Check out the anime entitled "Ouran High school Host Club" regarding this. If you're also into rich, funny and spoiled bishounens, this is the anime for you!
(7) I-max, huge flat screen TV used in Cinema watching. It has that 3-D effect that makes you shiver in a good and exciting way. They have it in Mall of Asia. It feels surreal watching through I-max.
(8) Actually, the dress and everything Sakura is wearing is from Sasuke, being rich and all that. He handpicked all of those, knowing that it'll fit her perfectly. Sakura also mentioned a hairdresser, that's Sasuke's doing to. For a date, he'll really spend on her. Add the limousine too.
(9) As far as I've analyzed it, '0-to-san' is used referring to someone else's father. 'Chichi' is another term for father, used by the speaker who is actually referring to his/her own father. 'O-ka-san', meaning mother, is used by people referring to another person's mother. 'Haha' is the kinship term for mother, given that the one using it is referring to his/her own mother. I know I didn't use this terms, for me, 'Tou-chan/Tou-san' fits the father-daughter relationship I am highlighting.
-hime (e.g. Sakura-hime) means princess. A term of endearment.
(10) So, it reveals that Daddy Haruno suffered the same fate as Sasuke. Mommy Haruno's father must be hard on him too. Enough reason for Daddy-san to return the favor. Isn't that lovely?