Keep On Trying by Another Illusion

Summary:Dealing with the deaths of two friends, Two-Bit uses all his wit to try and keep his remaining friends together, and on meeting someone within detention realises the importance of family and friendship to get through these difficult times. Two-Bit, OMC, OFC 3rd person POV

A.N-I’m British so use British spelling and terminology, which you may know by now! Thanks as ever to my amazing betas and to all my reviewers.

Disclaimer:I do not own Two-Bit or any of the characters created by S E Hinton, or ‘Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word’ by Elton John.

Eight: Still Complicated

“What do I do to make you want me?/ What have I got to do to be heard?/What do I say when it's all over?/ And sorry seems to be the hardest word ...

Bonnie shivered as she drew the blanket around herself. It was exactly a quarter past four in the morning, and far too early for her to be awake. She yawned as she swilled the coffee dregs around in her cup.

She had too much to think about. She wanted to replay yesterday all over again and tell Two-Bit before he could find out. In fact, she just didn’t want him to know at all. It had ruined everything, and she had really liked Two-Bit.

The back door opened and she watched Marty skulk into the kitchen. He carefully opened the fridge and took a bottle of soda out, humming loudly. He looked surprised when he finally registered her presence. “Didn’t you sleep?” he asked as he took off his jacket.

“For a few hours, I’ve been thinking a lot. Besides, normally I’m up with you at this time anyway.”

“Oh.” Marty sat down opposite to her. His ungreased hair was falling on his forehead and she could see tattoos through his thin shirt. There was a lipstick mark on his collar, a tacky shade of red. Bonnie raised her eyebrows; this was not a particularly rare occurrence anymore. He’d sneak out in the middle of the night, then sneak back in before their parents woke up. Sometimes he didn’t even sneak back in but would arrogantly walk through the back door just breakfast was being served,; he had an innate ability to never miss breakfast.

“Were you at Charlie’s?” she asked quietly, knowing exactly what he had been up to.

“Yeah,” he said flatly, reluctant to offer any more information. “Are you still upset over that guy?”

“Not really,” she said. “I just wish it could go back to how it was, but I’m resigned to my fate.” She didn’t tell him that if Two-Bit were to apologise she would take it as a sign that at least all hope wasn’t dead. “I think I might apologise tomorrow being so unpleasant.”

“Why?” he asked, shaking his head violently. “Why do you have to be like this? Why do you have to forgive everything?” he asked bitterly. It must have been strange for him, usually he vented to her and she had always believed he had too much going on for her to burden him, but something had changed.

“Like what?” she asked in confusion. Why did her brother have to be so confusing? For someone who thought they were dumb, Marty sure could be hard to understand at times.

“You,” he said calmly. “It doesn’t matter. I’m just doing my brotherly duty,” Marty said.

He looked at her carefully and then at the schoolbooks covering the table. “I’m amazed you’re not in the harder classes. You’re smart enough for ‘em.”

“Marty, I do the majority of my work at four a.m. now. D’you really think I ever get much above a B if I took an honors class?” She regretted her words immediately, remembering how he had once confessed to her that he felt guilty about her staying up late at night, missing out on her sleep while keeping him company.

“You done with it for now?” he asked. She nodded.

“Okay. Try and get some more sleep, yeah?” he asked, looking guilty and Bonnie felt instantly upset that she had made him feel like that.

“Are you okay?” she asked quietly, he had been acting strangely since he had sauntered in only minutes ago. He nodded quickly but didn’t meet her eyes.

She stood up cautiously, waiting for him to say something and when he didn’t she sighed and walked out of the room. She had long ago realized that pushing Marty to talk just made him shut down. Bonnie knew when he was ready to talk he would come to her and then she’d try her best, though she often wondered if her few words were good enough advice for her brother. She couldn’t pressure him though because then it would waste all the time she had invested trying to get him to trust ever since he had become a part of her family.

She could try to sleep, and if that failed she was sure she had some book somewhere, without romance in it, that she could read.

Two-Bit asked around at the Dingo and found out the following pieces of information: Bonnie’s father had been a drunk, her mother was a drug addict, at some point her mother had been arrested for prostitution, and her father was somehow involved in the assassination of JFK, as well as some shady connections with the mafia apparently. Two-Bit was pretty positive the last parts weren’t true, but he wasn’t sure about the rest and he was beginning to wish he hadn’t asked. It was just as bad as he had suspected, even worse

Still, he needed to clear his conscience at least, and perhaps find out if it was the truth. It could just be a rumour, but Two-Bit just felt that there had to be some reason for her to be adopted and it could not be a positive one.

Bonnie was late to both Algebra and English. Some guy --Two-Bit hoped it was her brother-- had met her after Algebra, so it was only at the end of English that Two-Bit could speak to her.

By this point, the notion of talking and apologising to her had escalated into an epic task that he doubted he could complete.

When the bell rang, he quickly packed up his belongings and considered running for it, but he figured his conscience would catch up with him sooner or later. No, he had to do it now, or he never would.

Hurrying and now resolute in his task, He managed to just catch up with her as she attempted to quickly make her way out of the room. He caught Bonnie’s arm just before she reached the doorway.

“What?” The malice and ice had gone from her voice, and a tone of sad resignation had replaced it. “What do you want, Two-Bit?”

“To say sorry,” he quickly said, wanting to get it over with. “Look, I over-reacted. It was a surprise, and I didn’t even hear it from you.” He paused, deliberating his next words carefully. “I barely know you, Bonnie. I didn’t know what to think.”

“Considering your reaction, can you see why I don’t mention it?” she asked sharply. For a petite girl, she sure was like a pack of dynamite. “Why should something that happened when I was a baby matter so much now?” She had a point, and Two-Bit noticed how she had so firmly mentioned she was adopted as a baby. He hoped this meant that there was no secret, painful past she would tell him about, he really could not deal with that.

“I-”

“I mean, you could have talked to me, rather than just ignoring me. Do you know how that made me feel?” she asked, folding her arms crossly.

“I’m sorry, okay? I was an ass. A complete and utter ass,” Two-Bit said finally, his duty was done. He had realised that perhaps there was no chance now, he blew it. He could charm her. Oh boy, could he charm her with his irresistible and humorous self, but it would not change what was already done.

“You …” she began quietly, shaking her head. “You are impossible to stay mad at. D’you know that?”

“Yeah, I’ve been told something like that,” he grinned.

“By another girl?” she asked, raising an eyebrow. Some of the tension suddenly seemed to be lifted and Two-Bit felt more confident and assured.

“In a way. By my mother,” Two-Bit said as Bonnie laughed. Encouraged by her reaction, he decided to take a chance and just flat-out ask her what had been on his mind all day. “I know this sounds awful, but is it true?”

“What?”

“About your parents?” he asked, using all the tact he possessed. He had just reached somewhere with Bonnie, he didn’t want it all to be pointless.

“Look, let’s just get this bit over with, okay?” she said flatly, clearly understanding what he had heard from others. “I was adopted as a baby, I had no control over it, which is why I’m a little ... sensitive about being judged on it. There are no – well, actually I have no idea what my birth parents are like. My real parents are the Crosses though, you dig? I have no idea who they were. I think they were just kids though, the whole process reeks of that, rather than something like what everybody else thinks. It’s all bullshit really.” She bit her lip. “I’m sorry that I may have been bitchy yesterday, and perhaps just now, I just hate people ... judging me.”

“Bonnie, are you ready?” some guy suddenly said from the doorway, she looked at Two-Bit pleadingly before raising a hand to the person behind Two-Bit.

“Five minutes, okay?” she said firmly, looking at Two-Bit as she spoke.

“Are we okay then?” Two-Bit asked, unsure of what had just happened. It had been far too easy to be real.

She sighed, and nodded slowly. “I guess,” she said quietly. “I’ll see you around then, Two-Bit.”

“Yeah,” he said as he watched her walk over to the guy. He could hear him muttering loudly that she was too forgiving, and part of him was inclined to agree. He was sure he recognized him from somewhere but couldn’t quite place it. He just knew he had seen that messy haired kid before. He wondered suddenly when it was that he wanted to pursue this more complicated relationship, rather than abandoning it and moving on the next blonde as usual.

Still with just as many questions as before he had settled things with Bonnie, Two-Bit walked out of the classroom.

“Is that her?” Steve asked Two-Bit as he walked towards Steve’s car. He turned to see Bonnie and some guy -- who he was now certain was her brother-- walking through the parking lot in animated conversation. “Is that Detention Girl?”

“Yeah. How did you guess?”

“She was looking at you,” he said simply. “She’s a brunette, Two-Bit!” He raised his hand to his brow in mock horror. “Seriously though, she’s not that bad.”

“Thanks.”

“I mean something has to be wrong with her somewhere to go out with you,” he said, grinning slyly.

Two-Bit shook his head. “You’re doing it again. You’re really talking about Evie’s own faults but using me as an example for yourself.”

“What? You sure talk some shit, don’t you Two-Bit?”

“I try my best,” he said, smiling as he smugly crossed his arms. “Let’s get out of here, c’mon.”

It was becoming more and more routine for Two-Bit and Steve to go to the grocery store at lunch than ever before. Two-Bit flicked the collar of his jacket up as he looked at Adam and Will, who had come up to him a few minutes earlier and were talking to him while he waited for Steve to pay for the food they were buying. Two-Bit had won a bet earlier that day that meant Steve had to go and get all the food for lunch, and he had persuaded him to get some cigarettes too.

“Did you hear about Paul? Fucking ass,” Adam said, lighting a cigarette. The stress of leading a gang was beginning to show - he looked rough, like he hadn’t been sleeping much, and there were lines creased into his forehead.

“What are you going to do?” Two-Bit asked carefully.

“Rumble.” Rumbling seemed to a gang’s answer for everything, they certainly didn’t negotiate well with one another. It was another reason that Two-Bit was glad that he wasn’t formally involved in a gang. He did not want to be walking around Tulsa with a permanent black eye.

He looked at Will Winters and stifled a snigger; Will did not look impressed at the prospect of a rumble. He was one of the vainest people around Tulsa and hated anything that could compromise his looks. Two-Bit remembered that he had --according to Billy anyway-- nearly quit the gang after breaking his nose in a rumble. Tim had almost kicked the crap out of him when he had found out.

“Are you going to tell Tim?” he asked.

“Hell no, the guy would try and break outta jail rather than miss a rumble.”

Two-Bit nodded, for some people a gang was their life and he knew that Tim would not want to let his boys down.

Steve walked over to Two-Bit and looked at Will coldly. Two-Bit knew that he had had some sort of history with Evie before she noticed Steve’s existence, and for that reason Steve instantly hated Will. “Will. Hey, Adam,” Steve said, checking the side mirror of his car.

“Still seein’ Evie?” Will asked slyly. Steve nodded and looked darkly at Two-Bit.

“Shut up, Will,” Adam said coolly. “You still on for Friday, Two-Bit?”

“Yeah. Charlie’s first though, right?”

“If you want to bet soused that ain’t my problem,” Adam said, laughing.

“It suits me fine, Adam. You reckon it’ll up your chances?” he asked, grinning widely.

“We’re heading off now, anyway. See you around,” Adam said, he nodded at Steve before Will and he walked back towards their car that was parked several feet away.

“Did you get the cigarettes for me, Steve?” Two-Bit asked.

Steve nodded and tossed a pack of cigarettes at Two-Bit. “You owe me for them.”

“How much?” he asked, digging into his pocket.

“You’re buying them next time.”

Two-Bit nodded reluctantly, and opened the pack. “I thought Adam was going to ask for our help in the rumble,” Steve said as Two-Bit lit a cigarette.

“Same.” He was glad that he hadn’t though, the recent Soc-greaser rumble had been a big enough deal as it was, and he didn’t want to repeat the experience any time soon. Besides, what went on with Shepard’s gang ordinarily was little business of his. Though, with his current feelings towards Paul, he wouldn’t mind kicking his ass.

“My sister’s got a boyfriend,” he said as Steve opened a candy bar. “They’re going out tonight. Can you believe it?”

“How old is she? I was what, twelve, thirteen when I got interested in girls? It’s normal, Two-Bit.”

“It feels too damn soon,” he said irritably, smoking furiously. Time was passing by too quickly and he hated it because everything had changed and he still was not quite sure of the effects that had had on everybody else.

“I’m lucky I’m missing out on all this,” Steve said, suddenly serious. “I mean, I didn’t even get the proper big brother thing, he left as soon as he could.” Two-Bit knew very little of Steve’s elder brother, he had left when Steve was very young and had rarely contacted him since then. Steve, Two-Bit suspected, was in his own mind an only child, and it was rare for him to bring his brother up. Two-Bit struggled to recall his name, it was something like Bobby.

He rested against the side of Steve’s car and exhaled cigarette smoke carefully, enjoying the remainder of his lunch hour.

Two-Bit watched Peggy walk into the kitchen. He would never admit it to her, but he’d been anxiously waiting for her to get back from her date. It was weird knowing his sister had just been on a date and he consoled himself with the fact that she was too young for it to be a ‘proper’ date. He just felt like he wasn’t ready --he wasn’t good enough-- to play the elder brother; to be sensible, responsible and all that protective, decent stuff.

“Where is he then?” he asked, slightly amused at the way she was blushing, but also completely horrified.

“He went home.”

Two-Bit frowned, he wanted to meet and interrogate this boy and at least pretend to be a decent brother.

“How did you-”

“His dad drove us,” she said casually.

“So, how was it?” he asked, knowing she would explode if he didn’t ask her.

“Fun. It was real fun, we went bowling though, because the movies were dull.” She smiled triumphantly. “I won.”

“Seeing him again?”

“Maybe,” she said, smiling. “He’s nice, real nice.”

“Too nice to meet me?” Two-Bit questioned seriously.

“Oh, I didn’t know you felt left out and all out of touch, Two-Bit,” she teased.

“You’re real funny,” he said sarcastically as he walked to the fridge to get a beer.

“Are you drinking?” she asked quietly.

“Yeah.” He opened the bottle of beer. “Is that a problem?”

“No,” she said with a bright voice but Two-Bit could see how her face had changed. He shrugged and walked out, pushing any concerns far out of his mind.