Author: ThePotterGeek PM
Oneshot. Ron hears a mathematical statement that horrifies him, so he goes to Hermione for advice. Ron, however, never learned Algebra. But he's about to. AU. takes place in their nonexistent 7th year.Rated: Fiction T - English - Romance/Humor - Ron W. & Hermione G. - Words: 965 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 8 - Published: 10-20-07 - Status: Complete - id: 3847419
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Okay, I was lying in bed last night and I was thinking about algebra or something (GO MATH!!!!) and a plot bunny hit me in the head with a mallet. But, unfortunately, it rebounded off my thick skull (which the doctors inserted into my head when I was born to protect my amazing brain from damage) and hit the poor thing in its own head. (prods the bunny) And it's not moving.
I don't own Harry Potter. But, sadly, I do own the bunny and therefore have to pay for its funeral. (...) It was in the thing's will, what do you want from me?
"Hermione, I just heard something very disturbing."
"What is it, Ron? And this had better be good, you interrupted my reading. I was nearly on the N's."
"Why are you reading Everything You Need to Know About Your Career in Healing?"
"Because I still haven't the slightest idea what I want to be when I get out of Hogwarts. I'm reading about jobs as much as I can. So what was this horror you heard?"
"Oh, right, that. Well, it's terrible. Completely kills everything I learned about shapes when I was a kid."
"What is it?!?!"
"No need to get so angry..."
"Fine. See? I'm not angry. Now, Ronald Weasley, what was this awful thing you heard."
"I was walking through the halls..."
"Skip the monologue."
"Okay, well I heard someone say 'Every triangle is a rectangle, but not every rectangle is a triangle."
"I said stop!"
"Okay, okay, okay. I'm good. The person who said that has obviously never learned pre-algebra. Which they don't teach here. So the person must have been born into a wizarding family."
"Because unless they sent their kid to a Muggle school, then they wouldn't know it! It's not taught here!"
"Don't ask me, ask the person who runs the place."
"Okay, I will."
"Good for you."
"Now please tell me what the triangle thing means."
"Okay, Ron. The real phrase is 'every square is a rectangle but not every rectangle is a square'."
"Okay. But how?"
"Well, the correct definition of a rectangle is a quadrilateral with two sets of equal paired sides."
"In English, if you don't mind."
"That was English."
"Okay, well it wasn't English I could understand."
"Okay, fine! A rectangle technically is a four-sided shape with two sets of sides that are opposite each other and the exact same size. The four sides don't have to all be the same length, but they can be. That is a square."
"Oh. Why didn't you just say so?"
"Because I wanted to rub in your face that you, a seventeen year old, don't know what some eleven year olds do. If they are in a very high math class."
"You annoy me."
"Yes, I know. But you annoy me more, so I get to do it to you as much as I want to get back at you."
"Okay, lemme see if I got this straight..."
"You mean you want to change the topic."
"Exactly. If every square is a rectangle but not every rectangle is a square then is that the same thing as every person is capable of love but not every person loves?"
"Wow, Ron, that's deep."
"I was being sarcastic."
"Ron, you have absolutely no right to elbow me! Really hard, mind you!"
"You insulted me."
"Well that's no reason to hurt me!"
"Apology accepted. But that was kind of deep, getting back on topic. I think you have the idea down, but I don't agree with the second part of your sentence."
"You were right about the first part, everybody is capable of love at least some point in their lifetime. But also sometime in their lifetime they love. So I disagree with your statement."
"What? I said okay."
"Without an argument? You've changed a lot in, like, two seconds."
"You're entitled to your own opinion. And you do have a point."
"It's a sign of the apocalypse! Ron agreed with me! Without an argument!"
"I think you've used quite enough sarcasm today, thank you..."
"I'll use it when I want to, thank you."
"Yeah, but you love me for it and you know it..."
"Hermione? You okay?"
"How did you...?"
"How did I what?"
"Now that you've got me going there's no shutting me up, how did I what?"
"Umm... Uhh... Umm..."
"Know that I like you."
"What? I didn't... Wait, what????"
"Please don't make me say it again."
"You like me?"
"Keep your voice down."
"Why should I?"
"Because I don't want the whole bloody world to know that I'm in love with you!"
"Did I just say that out loud?"
"Yes, and I think you scared that little first year who was next to us out of his mind. Oh, look... you made him cry..."
"Oh, for heaven's sake!"
"Back on topic, you love me?"
"Well, now there's no denying it, seeing as I yelled it to the whole common room... So, yes, I do."
"So what's the problem?"
"Well, you see, now you know and I'll never be able to have a normal conversation with you again because-"
"Hermione? Shut up. I love you too."
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Review! Flames will be used to cremate my bunny.
P.S.- I actually had this saved on my computer, and hadn't posted it, for some reason… Oh, well, the world gets it now!