The Cheese Cracker Wars!

A/N: Here’s the summary of this Animal Crossing fanfic. Tom Nook finally have the most useful thing to sell, Cheez It’s. But the problem is that it cost 2,000 bells. So Crazy Redd have the Cheez It’s for only 3 easy payments of 1,999 bells. Now Tom Nook has gone insane.

Disclaimer: I don’t own Animal Crossing, and I didn’t see the movie.

One ordinary day in Nook Cranny, Tom Nook was enslaving me and my sister by cleaning the shop.

“As soon as you’re done with walls, clean the bathroom!” Tom commanded.

“I didn’t know you have a bathroom!” my sister said trying to hold her pee.

“I hope we get paid for this!” I said.

“No bathroom breaks! And you will get paid…when pigs fly!” Tom said.

“I found that very offensive to us,” Rasher said along with Hugh, Curly, Truffles, and Lucy.

“Look alive! We’ve got customers! Welcome to the all star Nook Cranny! Where everything is cheap! Now are you going to by something or stand there because there’s a standing fee,” Tom said.

“The standing fee is 8.4 zillion bells…each,” I whispered (it doesn’t hurt to go overboard a little.)

“Yeah, Trick or Treating is coming soon, and we need candy. Do you have some?” Truffles asked.

“Funny, usually, you guys forced candy on us or you’ll ruin our shirts,” my sister said.

"Well, we're kind of lazy last time, so your lucky!" Curly responded.

“Well, it’s your lucky day. For only the next 12 seconds you could get it for 100 bells!” Tom announced.

“Eh, it’s cheap enough. I’ll take 20! Hugh yelled as they all fought for it.

“Stupid pigs fighting for expensive candy. What’s this?” I said noticing a box on the ground.

“What cha looking at bro?” My sister asked.

“Shush. I think I found a box of Cheez It’s…My uncle’s toe nail! It is!” I yelled.

“Excuse me, but what did you find so valuable?” Ruby asked. “Oh it’s just a box of Cheez It’s. Try one,” I said giving her a cracker.

“Mmm! This is good! How much do you want this for?” Rudy said getting her wallet.

“Oh, it doesn’t cost a bell.”

“DOESN’T COST A BELL! THERE IS NOTHING IN THE WORLD THAT COSTS NOTHING! WHAT ARE YOU GIVING HER??” Tom Nook screamed.

“Umm, it’s a box of Cheez It’s…want some?” my sister asked nervously. Tom tried one and for a moment, he thought he was in heaven, this time without bells.

“Whatever you got, find more!! NOW!!” he yelled as we went to the train station to the Cheez It factory, and bought a few crates. Everyone else just let out a sigh.

Days later, Cheez It’s became super popular in town because Tom Nook sold a box for a mere 2,000 bells.

A week of popularity later, Crazy Redd came to town with broken furniture. But he saw everyone at Nook Cranny.

Damn that sucessful sqruirll! I really need to find a way for these people to buy some stuff. And I think I know how." he thought out loud. "News Flash, I'm a raccoon, moron for brains!" Tom said.

Moments later at closing time, we were about to sleep until Redd climbed in to the window.

“Dude, it’s 2:30 in the morning! Can’t you wait to steal our stuff later?” I asked.

“No! Not this time. All I need is you to steal Tom’s Cheez It’s!” Redd said and laugh.

“Are you crazy?” I asked. “That is part of my name!” Redd responded. (A cockroach played the drums and symbols.)

“Anyway, I can’t steal those Cheez It’s! Because it is wrong. Plus you will get sued by him,” I said.

“Fine, is there any other cheese cracker product?” Redd asked. “Well, there’s Cheese Nips…but they are not as cheesy,” I said.

“Okay, grab those and bring them to the Black Market!” Redd commanded.

“Why should we? We’re not your slaves!” Sis yelled at him.

“I will pay your worthwhile…250 bells a decade starind tommorow!” he said as we have dollar signs on our eyes.

“Fine! We’ll steal them tomorrow,” we said. “I have a loaded bazooka in my bag. If you don’t get your butts out of bed, I’ll shoot you in a place in your body you never heard before!!” Redd yelled.

The next day, Rocco and Gaston came into the Black Market.

“Yeah, we want something fixed. Chop-chop.” Gaston demanded.

“You came to the right place. Instead of those disgusting creep you call Cheez It’s, how about a complimentary Cheese Nip,” Redd offered.

“Is this real?” Rocco asked cracking his knuckles. “Yes (you psychotic moron.) Try it yourself.”

Soon. “Well, that wasn’t bad… it could do better,” Rocco said. “How much are they?” Gaston asked.

“They are only 3 easy payments of 1,999 bells. Cheaper than Tom Mook’s!”

Only an hour later, the whole store is packed, which made Tom Nook pissed. Then he saw us leaving with bags.

“Excuse me, my children, but what are in those bags?” He asked.

"Uhh, groceries...from your store," I lied.

"Now you know that you can't buy from me. I'll give to the count of 1 to tell me what's in there."

“Umm…250 bells,” my sister said nervously.

“Alright, start talking.” Tom said even more pissed.

“Hey everyone, this is KK Slider here. While the children are confessing about Redd and his deeds, I will be singing a wonderful tune called Mr. KK.”

“Please! No! don’t you dare sing a song! I’ll give you anything you desire!” Resetti begged.

“I’m sorry, but I need to give my fans what they want. (Plays guitar.) 1, 2, 3…l (Intermission over). But I’m not done!”

“THAT IS IT! I DON’T CARE TOO MUCH IF WORK FOR REDD, BUT GETTING PAID BY DOING SO?! YOU ARE FIRED!!” Tom screamed as we head to our house to pack and leave back to our old house.

Meanwhile at the train station. “You’re not going to leave permanently, aren’t you?” Ruby cried.

“I hope he does for my sake,” Tiffany said.

“Will you shut up?! I may Ruby, but you could always visit…if my parents aren’t afraid of a talking animal,” I said, kissing her.

That is until Tom and Redd came running up to us. “Wait stop!” They both called out.

“I’m sorry I’ve yelled at you. We are very low on Cheez It’s. Could you get some?” Tom asked.

“There’s more for where that is coming from if you get more Cheese Nips,” Redd said.

“Screw you guys! We’re out of here,” We said as we board the train. Then we left, and that's the last hearing from us in this story.

After we left, Ruby was on the ground, crying for a few minutes. Then she said, “You cheapskate jerks!!”

Tom and Redd just gulped. “How could you just go ahead and treat these people like crap after what they’ve done for you two? I hope I never seen a cracker again!” Ruby finished crying to her house.

“Oh my God, what have we done?!” Tom cried. “WE? You was the genius who fired them!” Redd said.

“Well, you were the one who paid them!” “You were the one who didn’t pay them!”

Tom: You were the one that have to show up!!

Redd: You was the one who started it!

Raccoon: Well…shut up.

Fox: Admit it, it’s your fault!

Thing 1: And what happen if I don't, even it isn't?

Thing 2: Maybe I'll sue your store for all expenses paied!

(Fades out).

A/N: Well, that last part was super lazy. That is all for now, next chapter will be longer. By the way, if you don’t know who the name characters are, you’re not an Animal Crossing Fan. Please review, and watch the movie on Youtube. It’s in Japanese and has no subtitles, but it was awesome!