The Brat’s Guide to Maddening

By: lunarlullaby

Disclaimer: I do not own TMM. And no matter how much I don’t what it to be true, I do not own Berry that I can annoy…and I do not own Elmer Fudd.

I give credit to Alice -Unrequited- authoress of 100 Ways to Get Kicked out of Hogwarts, for giving me this idea.

Berry

I am not to shred and tear her new “adorable” school uniform.

I am not to "coach" Berry so that she won't pass the entrance exams into the school with said "cute" uniforms.

I am not to glue Berry and Tasuku together one morning and say that they can only way to get free is to passionately make out.

I am not to tell Tasuku that asking Berry's hand in marriage every ten seconds will save her life... He was stupid to believe me anyway...

I am not to get everyone in Japan to talk about Berry at the same time. It’s sure to blow up Berry’s nose. She hates it when that happens. (1)

I am not to get every girl in Berry’s school to praise Tasuku only when Berry walks by.

I am not to keep her being a mew secret from her even if it’s fun to confuse her.

I am not to lock Mew Berry in a cage with giant kiremia anima.

I am not to place bets on who will live for the fight above.

I am not to steal Mew Berry’s wand and bash her over the head with it incessantly. (Even if I stop when Berry turns black and blue.)

I am not to tie the Mew Berry’s bunny ears and cat tail together.

I am not to force Tasuku to frown at Berry every time she’s in his presence.

I am not to chuck a berry at Berry every time her name is called.

I am not to force feed Berry fish, claiming that fish makes her smarter.

I am not to point out that how Berry only chose her school for the uniform…every two minutes and thirty-seven seconds.

I am not to throw a gallon of water on Berry every time she blushes…pushing her into a pond is much faster.

I am not to dye Berry’s natural, blonde hair to black; there are much worse colors like pink, blue, green, and purple…oh wait…

I am not to eat a carrot very, very…very…VERY slowly while staring at Berry with bugged out eyes. She says it makes her feel uncomfortable. I can’t imagine why, though.

I am not to walk up to Berry and say, “You’re just asking for it,” then walk away. If she follows and keeps asking, “What am I asking for,” I am not to stare at her until she gets it.

I am not to do all of the above one day and smile sweetly at Berry the entire next day.

I am not to gather both Ichigo and Berry in the same room, scrutinize them both, tackle Berry, and scream at the top of my lungs, “IMPOSTER!!!!!!!!!”

I am not to superglue Ucha (2) to Berry’s eyelid, run around Café Mew Mew while yanking her bunny ears, and screaming, “MEDIC! MEDIC! MEDIC!!!” (3)

I am not to shove a berry in to Berry’s mouth every time she opens it.

I am not to whisper very loudly behind Berry’s back, “HER REAL NAME IS MARY SUE.”

I am not to walk up to Berry, dressed as Elmer Fudd, and say, “It’s wabbit season.”

LL: Moshi, moshi! Gomen nasai! I didn’t mean to not update in FOREVER. This is the last chapter for the Brat’s Guide to Maddening. Every maddening way was created by me. Please join me for the next guide: Kid's Killing Methods. The victims for Kid's Killing Methods are going to be....... FRUIT'S BASKET! Please vote for who will be the victims for Adolescent's Annoyance ABCs in my profile! X3

Key:

(1): There’s a legend that if you sneeze it means that someone is talking about you. XD

(2): Ucha is basically Berry’s Masha/R2000.

(3): It’s an inside joke that BuKitten, Kish’s Kirby, and I know about. BK’s brother plays a LOT of games and can beat newly bought games soon enough to return them and get his money back. Anyway, her brother was yelling, “MEDIC,” while he was playing his game. It just became an on-going game. XD

And as a special treat for those who waited for me to return...

NO PARENT LEFT BEHIND....

THESE ARE REAL NOTES WRITTEN BY PARENTS IN AN ALABAMA SCHOOL DISTRICT .

19. PLEASE EXCUSE JASON FOR BEING ABSENT YESTERDAY. HE HAD A COLD AND COULD NOT BREED WELL.