I have to admit, I was lost for what to do with this chapter

I have to admit, I was lost for what to do with this chapter. I had my story ending, but I didn’t have any “filler” goodness for you. This chapter finally came to me at the dinner table tonight.

Disclaimer: I am not Stephenie Meyer. Therefore, I don’t own any Twilight characters.

-.-.-.-.-

Juliet’s POV

I’d long ago accepted the fact I would become a vampire. It was an easy concept to grasp. It made sense. It was my family obligation (of sorts). I’d decided to die in order to live forever, because the thought of truly dying and going to Heaven without my parents and all those I loved was simply inconceivable. I could not, would not do that to them or myself. The pain would be too great.

That aside, there were still other issues I needed to work through. I was going to be a vampire. I was going to need to hunt. I was going to kill.

That was something I could not accept.

I would not take the responsibility of ending another’s life. Not again. Life was far too precious. Human or animal, I refused to steal what was not mine. Not to say I thought any less of my family for doing what they did- they were wonderful, and I admired them. They put human life first.

I personally could not measure the worth of a creature’s life.

Life was life.

I could not describe it. I’d feel guilty eating meat sometimes, but I could usually ignore it. Yet to actually kill an animal. To stalk it. To… to do whatever it was vampires did to feed… I didn’t think I could go through with it.

I played with Cody on my bedroom floor, trying to teach him to fetch. We weren’t making much progress. I may have giggled at his adorable fumbling and tail wagging if I wasn’t so deep in depressing thought. Tossing the small green tennis ball across the room, I held my hand suspended in the air a moment longer than necessary, staring at the veins and details of my pale skin. Flipping it over and raising the other one, I stared at my palms. I knew they were clean. I could see that. In my mind, however, they were covered in blood. Forever stained.

I could not remove David’s blood from my hands. There were times I’d have flashbacks of that day, feeling the cold of the rain, then the sickening warmth of crimson. I’d panic, looking down at my red splattered clothing, only to snap back into reality seconds later. It was worse in my nightmares, though. When I’d turn and see the mangled body. Was my mind’s horrible illusion what he really looked like as he lay dying?

Cody dropped the tennis ball by my side. I glanced down at him, petting his soft furry head. “Good boy.” His tail wagged, tongue rolling out of his mouth as he gave me his loopy puppy grin. Big brown eyes asked me, “More?” So I threw the ball again.

I could never kill.

I resumed staring at my hands. A knock on the door yanked me from my brooding. “Come in.” I called, wanting a distraction.

Gabriel entered, looking at me curiously on the ground. I almost laughed. He’d practically taken up residence at our house over the last week. Vincent was visiting quite a lot too. Not as much as Gabriel, but more than an average person. The only time my pretty blond companion wasn’t stalking the Cullen hallways was when he was at work. The idea of him serving pizzas always made me giggle.

“You don’t look miserable.” He commented with a small smile.

I raised my eyebrows, “Should I?”

“From what your father tells me of your thoughts, I assumed you would be.”

Right. Mind reading. No privacy. “Yeah, well,” I couldn’t think of anything to tell him, “You know.” But he didn’t. At least, I didn’t believe he did.

He chuckled, sitting next to me. I avoided meeting his gaze for a minute, watching Cody retreat with his ball to his doggie bed. I guess he was tired. No more playing. He circled a few times before lying down, tennis ball between his paws, mini tooth filled jaw still clamped around the toy. That’s when Gabriel reached over, sliding his arm around my shoulder in a half-embrace. I could feel his fingers playing with my hair. “If you do it my way, you don’t have to kill at all.” He whispered gently in my ear.

I couldn’t help it. I shivered. His breath was cool, tickling my skin. I turned my head, surprised to find his face much closer to mine than I thought it would be. I blushed. His beautiful burgundy eyes were darker, browner than normal. I stared into them unblinking, pretending to be unbothered by our intimacy. “What do you mean?”

“Did you ever wonder why Vincent and I have red eyes, and your family gold?”

I had. I’d come to the conclusion it had something to do with what type of vampire they were. Like, maybe American, English, and French vampires had varying eye colors. Obviously, I was mistaken. “Why?”

“We have different diets.” He told me calmly.

Uh oh. “In what way?”

“I drink human blood.” My shocked expression and sudden spike of fear made him laugh, and he pulled me closer. “Juliette, don’t jump to conclusions so.” He scolded me lightly. “I don’t kill people.”

I let out a sigh of relief. “But, how?”

“You don’t need to know the details.” He winked. “I’ll take care of all the dirty work.” His free hand clasped mine, lifting it to his marble lips, kissing my knuckles. “Your hands will be clean as long as I’m around.”

“That’s… sweet.” In a weird vampire way. “Thank you.” The worry for his blood source must’ve remained on my face.

He gave me a reassuring smile. “I swear to you, the worst that ever happens to someone we take sustenance from is a nasty headache. It goes away within a day and they are none the wiser.” His thumb caressed where his lips had previously touched. “They all have a typical memory lapse of the night.”

“Typical?” Did Gabriel have the ability to wipe people’s memories?

“The power of alcohol never ceases to amaze me.”

My mouth dropped open. “You get people drunk?!”

“No, no, no,” he laughed while correcting me, “they do it themselves. Vincent and I only watch.”

To be completely honest, I was disturbed. But, the more I thought about it, the more appealing the idea was. I could be a vampire without anyone or anything dying on my behalf. “I want to be like you.” I decided, my fingers tightening around his.

“I’m glad.” He kissed my nose, making me blush, and pulled away. “Je t'aime.”

I tilted my head to the side. “What does that mean?”

He smiled wider. “I’m not allowed to tell you.”

“That’s not fair.” I seriously needed to get a French-to-English dictionary. He kept telling me things in his first language, and as delightful as it sounded, I had no idea what he was saying. I knew it wasn’t anything bad. Nevertheless, the curiosity ate at me. Why wouldn’t he translate for my sanity’s sake?

“One day, Juliet. One day. I promise I’ll tell you.”

-.-.-.-.-

David’s POV

Watching them together made me sick. I couldn’t control my emotions. I was happy to see Juliet happy, but miserable because it wasn’t me who was making her happy. Selfish, wasn’t it? Stupid and irrational, wasn’t it? Gabriel understood Juliet on a level I never did. He knew exactly what to do to get a reaction from her, whether a smile or a laugh. He knew what to say to make her blush, or snap out of her sad stupors. Their interaction was so natural. I would’ve given anything when alive to be like that with her.

He erased me from her mind.

I could feel it when she mourned me. Then he would walk in. She’d forget everything.

Yet, wasn’t it better that way? I certainly didn’t want her crying over me for eternity. It was better for her to heal, to move on, even if I didn’t like it. If I loved her, I should give her up. I shouldn’t be selfish.

Gabriel deserved her.

And, hell, that hurt more than dying.

Juliet was not mine. We were not meant to be. So why did my heart bleed at the thought of leaving her? I tried again and again to rope in my emotions. I watched them for hours as they talked and laughed. I watched him touch her, holding her hand, kissing her casually. He did not kiss her lips. It was like he knew such an action would be too much for me to handle. Gabriel was respectful of my presence in his own way. He glanced over at me sometimes, checking on me. I hated his pity.

Finally, he left. It was time for Juliet to go to bed. Within the half hour she was asleep. I went over to her, sitting on the edge of her bed as I so often did. She rolled over onto her back. I gazed down at her adorable innocent face. I would miss her.

“I’m just the shadow of the man I used to be

and it seems like there’s no way out of this for me.”

I sang, reaching out to brush the bangs from her eyes. They moved slightly, as if disturbed by a slight breeze. It was all I could do.

“I used to bring you sunshine.

Now all I ever do is bring you down.”

I would never sing to my angel again. No more laughing, no more dancing, no more anything. It was over.

“How would it be if you were standing in my shoes?

Can’t you see that it’s impossible to choose?

No there’s no making sense of it.

Every way I go I’m bound to lose.”

That’s when she mumbled it. His name. “Gabriel…” Not me. She no longer dreamed of me. Her nightmares were gone. I was gone. I could feel the heat of tears behind my eyes. My heart was beyond broken. There were no words to describe the pain. I was giving up. I was defeated.

“Too much love will kill you if you can’t make up your mind.

Torn between the lover and the love you leave behind.”

I stood from the bed, retreating. As I backed away, I continued to watch her, singing my heart out. Maybe somewhere deep inside she could hear me, know how much I care for her. She could stop blaming herself for my fate. I threw myself in front of that truck on my own accord.

“You’re headed for disaster ‘cos you never read the signs.

Too much love will kill you

Every time.”

I could never regret what I had done. My pain didn’t matter. All I truly wanted was her to be happy. Even if it wasn’t with me. It was hard to tear my eyes from her, knowing that it would be the last time I’d look upon her sweet form.

“Too much love will kill you. It’ll make your life a lie.

Yes, too much love will kill you, and you won’t understand why.”

I turned, facing the window. The night was clear, the full moon bright. I gazed up at the stars, letting go of all my despair. I’d made my choice. It was time to leave. Juliet was my last tie to earth. But she was not mine. I had no reason to stay. If she could move on, I could move on too.

“You’d give your life, you’d sell your soul, but here it comes again-

Too much love will kill you in the end…

In the end.”

And as cliché as it sounds, when I finished my last note, I saw the light. Yeah, love had killed me, but there was no other way I’d ever want to die.

-.-.-.-.-

David’s final song to Juliet is “To Much Love Will Kill You” by Queen. He’s been trying to crossover since Gabriel started getting together with the love of his life. So, David is gone now. You can rejoice, or cry, or just not care. Whatever you feel, I want you to know he’s at peace. Torturing him made me sad, so I put him to rest. Yay.

Sorry for the update delay. Forgive me. Correct my typoes. Reviews are awesome. Haha. :D

-SilverYouko300

P.S. In case you haven’t caught on, with David gone we can finally have some Juliet/Gabriel romance. Or at least as much romance as Edward approves of. Tee hee.