Note: This is what I originally wrote. I am totally serious. This was the first draft of that one part of that one chapter.

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“Kira being hired is unthinkable.” he said, mind not really even on the conversation.

L eyed Raito warily, who was perched on the back of Aizawa’s side of the couch like a bird. He was sitting like L normally did, only with his hands gripping the back of the couch to hold him steady.

“Why?” Aizawa asked. Raito seemed to find some amusement in the fact that Aizawa couldn’t see him.

“Because that would mean that a company was able to find Kira before I could.” L continued talking, not even bothering to focus two percent of his focus on the conversation he was attempting to hold.

“But what if Kira went to-”

“A WHORE!” Raito interjected suddenly. L’s nonexistent eyebrows shot up to his hairline in surprise.

“Maybe he figured he’d need money for-”

“A WHORE!”

“-in the future…?” Aizawa finished.

“Kira can’t be that cheap.” Matsuda said. “That would be uncool.” While Aizawa raged at Matsuda, Raito laughed.

Finally, Aizawa turned back to the ‘conversation’ he was having with L, and said, “Well, either way we better look into this-”

“SHIZNIT!’

“But infiltrating a big-”

“ASS!”

“-like Yotsuba could be tough.”

L started to say something about Watari being well respected in the business world, but paused. Raito shoved a finger up one of Aizawa’s nasal cavities, wriggling it around in a show of picking the other man’s nose. Aizawa remained unaware of Raito’s actions, even shifting around a bit, as if for better mining.

“PENIS!”

“-are you all right?” Aizawa asked, apparently asking about the fact that his face had just gone beet red and he hadn’t yet finished his sentence.

“Yes, I’m fine.” L said distractedly, trying to get his face to go back to its customary paleness.

Matsuda said, “What should we do now-”

“PENIS!”

L stood up abruptly, walking back to the computer terminals lined up along the wall. “Yagami-san should be back from the-”

“WHORE!”

L mentally cringed. “-soon. We can decide how to attack then, but for now let’s see what”

“BITCHES!”

“-we can do...”

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Maybe you didn’t pick it up (but then, my reader’s tend to be very perceptive, so you probably did). Whenever someone said “Ryuuzaki”, Raito screamed “PENIS” over it.