Disclaimer: I own nothing.

A/N: I got this idea when I was flying back from Minnesota and I wrote in out in my notebook, and just recently found it.

A solitary tear slipped down her cheek as she stood in silence, in a spot she had been to so many times. The morning was warm; a cool breeze blew the autumn leaves in circles around her ankles. As she stood and looked at the words carved into the fading stone she could not bring herself to fight the tears that now stung her eyes. Her chocolate brown eyes were fixed on the simple lettering and even though the words had long since been etched into her memory she still read over them. Her eyes traced over them with a familiarity too frightening to acknowledge. How many times had she stood where she was now and thought of him? How many times had she wished she had been somewhere else, and he was standing beside her; his strong, familiar scent filling her nostrils; his warm arms wrapped tightly around her waist?

A reminder of who he had been lingered in her memory and she did not fight to force it away, she did not dwell on it either. Instead she closed her eyes and remembered what his skin had felt like against hers. She thought of his smile and his laugh and then let out a strangled laugh; a mixture between a laugh and a cry.

After his death she had never been the same. Instead of rising early for work she remained in bed, arriving well after she was expected. She had told herself that work would be the only true distraction from the pain, but it wasn’t. Instead she was reminded of him and how many hours they had sat together, trying to be serious, but failing every time. She was always reminded of how many times they had sat across from each other each doing what they were supposed to; sneaking occasional glances at each other; and leaving after a long day of working.

When she sat at her desk and looked at the one across from his, all of his things still on it, her mind would drift away and she would remember how sweet he liked his coffee and how easily distracted he had been. She would remember all of the all-nighters they had pulled, and all of the meals they had shared. All of it came flooding back into her head, and it tore her apart.

They had been friends for a long time before they became lovers. It was the kind of relationship she had often fantasized about, one so perfect it was hard to stop smiling.

The grey headstone caught her attention as the morning sun bounced off of it. Her eyes ran over the familiar words yet again and she took a step closer, but only one—she could not compel herself to move any closer at the moment. Although he had died more than six months ago the pain was still fresh. It always became harder when she visited his grave—he had so much left to give—it had not been his time.

Time seemed to stand still when she came to see the familiar stone, it was a silly notion, but a notion none the less. As she continued to look at the headstone she finally felt like coming closer to it. When she forced herself to move so she was directly in front of it she had to struggle—her feet felt like lead. She shoved her hands deeper into her pockets then pulled them out to tuck a stray strand of hair behind her ear.

“I miss you.”

Her voice sounded unlike her own and her words seemed foreign. She couldn’t handle it anymore; she had to leave. Detective Olivia Benson turned away after reading the words one last time.

Elliot Stabler Beloved father, friend and husband

“I love you.”

She whispered the words then quickly left, drying her eyes with the back of her hand as she went.

END

A/N: Just so you know I’ve never done a story with a character death before. So this is my first, and I think it turned out okay. I’d love to hear what you think, though.