|Neichizuu Jiang Shi
Author: WFROSE PM
In the tradition of 'Little Pretty Biohazard', 'Pain in the Back', 'Innocence', and 'Juchan', comes... well, something else in that Halloween tradition...Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Humor/Supernatural - Chapters: 3 - Words: 6,578 - Reviews: 40 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 10-31-07 - Published: 10-28-07 - id: 3861412
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Neichizuu Jiang Shi
"Mmmm," Genma hummed, taking his time to slurp down the broth saturated udon noodle, "I don't think I have ever had saku yaki quite like yours, Kasumi Dear!"
"Why, thank you, Uncle Genma," Kasumi beamed, "Would you like some more?"
"HEY!" Ranma dove into the tea room, evading a wild swing of a bonbori, leaving it to demolish the entryway frame, "Save some for me, Pop!"
"Boy, all you have to do is sit down and join the rest of us if you're going to eat," the elder Saotome responded with a cheeky grin. Before Ranma could retort, he was forced to jump out of the way of an arrow.
"Damn it, Shampoo! Let me eat before you try to kill me!"
"Oh my, Ranma's so rampageous this evening." Kasumi stated, putting a hand on her cheek and inspecting the damage to the entryway.
"Serves the jerk right if Shampoo chased him all night," Akane insisted, "Seriously, if he would just think about it for a second, all he probably has to do is switch back to a guy!"
"I don't think he's had a second this whole time," Nabiki argued, ignoring Ranma followed by Shampoo swinging a scimitar, as they ran a lap around the tea room table, before disappearing into the hall.
"So let the idiot suffer!" Akane replied, heatedly. She wasn't all that worried about Shampoo catching Ranma; the pigtailed girl seemed to have an uncanny instinct for survival. But in hindsight, she was beginning to realize that if things weren't stopped, peace would be a thing more so of the past.
Having caught the key parts of the conversation, Ranma entered the tea room again, somersaulting over the table, snagging the tea kettle on the pass, and running into the kitchen. Shampoo hopped in, landed on the table, and hopped off after Ranma into the kitchen.
Several moments later, a male Ranma backed out of the kitchen, holding his hands up complacently to a scrutinizing Shampoo, "See? I'm a guy! The girl Ranma ran outside!"
"You... is man." Shampoo stated, still leaning closely into Ranma, while poking him in the chest with her finger, "How you do that?"
"Wha?" Ranma responded, afraid she knew the two were one in the same. "How I do what?"
"Change to man?"
"Hmm, interesting?" Soun mused, "She doesn't seem fooled by the curse."
"Seriously, I'm a guy, Shampoo!" Ranma retorted, fearful of having to continue being chased, "I ain't the redhead chick! So you gotta leave me alone!"
Shampoo pouted cutely, before responding, "Chi same as girl Ranma, yang chi higher than yen chi now, but still same." Shampoo's eyebrows raised, before her eyes narrowed to slits, "You..."
"Looks like the jig is up, Ranma," Nabiki stated, ready for dinner theater, starring Ranma and Shampoo, to resume.
"...is twin, yes?" Shampoo concluded, before hopping back a few steps to fully take in the pigtailed boy.
Everyone else simultaneously picked themselves off the floor. "Yes... that's it," Ranma insisted, before sitting down at his spot at the table, tired from having to outrun Shampoo without retaliation; he found that dealing with the undead Amazon was easier when he could hit her. "Hey! There's nothing left!"
"You snooze, you lose, boy."
"Pops, you greedy-"
Shampoo sat next to Ranma, sagging in her posture. She concluded that Ranma had a twin brother, and managed to elude her while now hiding her chi, or something weird was going on with her nemesis. She wished she could contact her great grandmother for answers, but realized that there would be too much to explain, particularly the death part.
She knew enough of her people's customs and policies to know that if they found out she was now jiang shi, the tribe's spirit hunters would not hesitate to seek her out and destroy her. As it was, she was compelled to kill the pigtailed girl, before she could finally rest, and she felt that nothing should be allowed to interfere with her task beyond even her once living status. Without the ability to seek guidance from her great grandmother, and no one else to help her, Shampoo seriously began to understand her situation.
Akane perked, before turning to Shampoo, and seeing the deceased girl hiccupping, signifying her upcoming sobs, "Shampoo?"
"Shampoo no... no go home anymore. Shampoo... Shampoo no peace until girl Ranma dead. Shampoo... Shampoo... alone..."
"Oh my, you poor dear!" Kasumi gave her sympathy to the girl, wishing there were more she could do without causing intentional harm to her other houseguest.
"Ah," Ranma began to grow uncomfortable with the suddenly depressed undead girl. Even if she was dead, he hated to see her cry, "It's alright, I... you'll get the pigtailed girl another time."
Shampoo attempted to give Ranma an appreciative smile, but it failed to make it to her eyes, "Shampoo tired, go sleep now."
"I'll take you to Akane's room, then," Kasumi offered, before moving to help the girl shakily stand, and then help her up the stairs.
"Does she seem alright to you?" Nabiki enquired, "It's almost like she lost the energy to even go looking for 'girl Ranma'."
"Just like the jerk to break the spirit of a martial artist!" Akane quipped.
"What are you talking about? I didn't break noth'n!"
"You treat us female martial artists with absolutely no respect! It's no wonder she's now depressed!"
"Hey, you ain't much a martial artist in the first place! And what am I supposed to do? Stand still and be her personal sharp weapons storage station?"
"You two..." Soun attempted to chastise, and being completely ignored by the two bickering teens.
The first room she entered after leaving Akane's was the girl with the short hair, Nabiki if she remembered correctly. Intensely chasing Ranma had made Shampoo tired, and even if she didn't show it, she wasn't sure if she would be capable of doing much else... if she didn't feed soon.
Nabiki's eyes opened, as if she sensed someone had entered her private quarters uninvited, "Who's there?" Before she could sit up, she felt someone's hand brace down on her stomach, keeping her in place. Her eyes widened, when and obviously female someone's lips landed on hers...
"Ha! You're ten years too early if you think you'll best me at that skill level!" Genma taunted, before leaping into the air.
"Your math ain't so hot, Pops, because I think I've been able to best you for over a year now!" Ranma retorted, before launching himself to meet the other Saotome an aerial combat.
"Aren't they impressive, Akane?" Soun enquired to his daughter, as they both watched the heated tradeoff in the air.
"Yeah, I guess," Akane responded, attempting to hide the sharp pang of jealously she was experiencing at observing Ranma's skill level. It wasn't like she couldn't do that, but she never got the teacher Ranma had in his father to do the flashy acrobatic stuff like that.
The fight, as common, concluded with both combatants landing in the fish pond, leaving a panda and redheaded girl in the place of a balding martial arts master and his son.
"Hey Pop, maybe one day we can have a practice where we won't disturb the fish?"
"RANMA, YOU I KILL!"
'And thus begins the second part of your morning training', Genma's sign read, as Ranma quickly rushed to evade Shampoo's double sword strike.
The pigtailed martial artist was a bit surprised to find a lock of hair fluttering down from her head, when she landed to face the hopping Amazon, "Wha...? How did she even come that close?" Ranma then noticed the way Shampoo was smirking at her; a haughty facial expression that insisted that this chase would be different from the last time. "Uh oh..."
"Well, a good night's rest has always been essential to a martial artist," Soun supposed, "Perhaps tracking the Saotomes throughout China had made her weary?"
"That's some difference!" Akane added, as Ranma just managed to barely parry a thrust to her chest, "Wherever she got the energy from, it's certainly making the difference!"
"Oh, good morning Nabiki," Kasumi greeted, as the middle daughter arrived outside.
"Man, I had the weirdest dream last night," Nabiki commented, rubbing her eyes attempting to awaken further. "Not only that, not sure why, but my favorite shorts aren't fitting me!"
"That's what you get for all that snacking you do," Akane assaulted, smirking at her sister.
"No, it's not that, I mean-"
"They're loose, really loose!"
"Oh Nabiki, are we going to have to go to the counselor again?" Kasumi worriedly asked, concerned for another bulimia issue with her sister.
"Yeah, we already told you the shinjokuu tanorexic look was so not you."
"Shut up, Akane," the middle sister snapped, not in the mood this early in the morning for her sister's jabs.
Moments after Ranma entered the Tendou grounds, Shampoo almost listlessly hopped through the gate, seeming to barely hold herself up; so many times she had been so close, but girl Ranma had the stamina of the energizer bunny sporting a cold fusion generator.
Kasumi turned to acknowledge the return of the two, before spotting the exhausted undead Amazon, "Oh my, Shampoo!"
Before she could collapse, she found herself supported by the elder Tendou sister. This was insufferable; to be so weak before others, and her sworn enemy was strolling before her like there was no danger whatsoever...
Shampoo decided; damn respecting her hosts, she would finish the imudent girl off before the day was over.
Ranma turned, and almost fainted with a nosebleed from the sight of Kasumi on the receiving end of a kiss from the undead girl. After several moments, Shampoo pulled away, and glared malice at her enemy, "RANMA, YOU IS DEAD NOW!"
"Ohcrap!" Once again, the chase was on, and double-time.
Kasumi watched them take off, putting her hand to her mouth in shock, "Oh my."
"So sis, considering alternative lifestyle preferences?"
"Oh, Nabiki," Kasumi shook herself out of her stupor, "I was just surprised, that's all, and it felt... weird when she... um..." Kasumi blushed, at the same time her apron slid down her waist to settle onto her hips, "Hmm? That's weird. It was snug just a second ago..." Kasumi pinched her side, before rapidly blinking in surprise.
Nabiki caught on, doing the same to herself, and then remembering her 'dream' from the previous night. "Wait a minute, you mean..."
"Could it?" Kasumi questioned.
"Ranma, shame on you for running from girl like that!"
"Oh, pigboy, it's you," Ranma drolled, "Would you mind, I would like to take a nap before she gets her third wind."
"Oh Ranma, its funny the things you oversee and overhear around here when you're just a little pig," Ryoga responded with a lilt in his voice, "And something else, too. Pigs build up a nice amount of body fat..."
"And what does that have to do with the price of eggs in England?" Ranma asked, not really caring where the conversation was leading to.
"YOW!!!" Ranma rolled away, just before the bonbori mace landed where her head had been.
"Oh," Ryoga began, as he watched his rival leap off the roof, hopping girl following after her, "I was just thinking of how fit I'm feeling now..."
This wasn't good. The longer this was going, the more tired Ranma was getting. On the other hand, the white haired girl seemed to be feeling more powerful than he had ever met her to be. "Cripes, Shampoo, can you just give me a break?"
"No rest for the wicked, boy!" Genma stated, while flexing with his shirt off, "Hey, Tendou, looking good!"
"Same to you, Saotome!" Soun complimented in kind, as they both postured in their now fat free and muscularly cut figures, "Hadn't looked this good since the days under the master!"
Ranma barely managed to keep ahead of Shampoo, as they both leapt over Akane.
"Hey! Do you mind?" Akane bellowed after the two, before reclining back into her lawn chair. Honestly, here she was sunning her now absolutely toned body in a two piece she would never have caught herself wearing before, and Ranma didn't have the dignity to stay out of her sun.
"Alright Shampoo, you can't keep this up forever!" Ranma challenged, efficiently dodging each attempt on her life.
Shampoo, on any other occasion, would have been inclined to agree. They passed by Nabiki, allowing Shampoo to pause briefly, grab the chubby guy standing next to the middle Tendou sister's cheeks, and land a deep kiss on his lips. After she was done, the recharged Amazon renewed her task, "RANMA, IS YOU I KILL!!!"
"That'll be four thousand yen, please!" Nabiki demanded, before taking the money, and ushering the next person in line to stand next to her... the next person in a line that wrapped around the Tendou home.
"Shampoo kill Ranma for sure this time!" the white haired girl insisted, madly hopping after the redhead along the stone walls that surrounded the Tendou household.
Well, that's the most helpful I've ever seen you, sugar. You know, though, that Shampoo would come in handy for this bit of baby fat that just won't go away.
That no baby fat, that just fat, baby.
As much as I wanna watch this catfight, I got Virtua Fighter 5 Online to indulge in, Happy Halloween!
Hey, what happened to that epic fight scene you prom-
I said HAPPY HALLOWEEN.