Author's Notes: Dudes I'm behind on my NaNo count! This is saddening! D: I fail at life, yes I do. Utterly. But History KILLED me this week and like, I'm just glad I'm not here's he next part. It's sort of fluffy AxelRoxas-ness but nothing huge and nothing that indicates them liking one another. A big thanks to everyone who reviewed! I love you guys and those of you who put me on your alerts, thanks!

Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to Kingdom Hearts. It belongs to Square Enix and the Walt Disney Company. I'm simply trying to write 50 000 words for NaNo.

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The Incident with the Blond

Those Lost Things

in which we:

meet the blond – learn of guests – see the dancing – hear the laughter – dream of friends – find the first link in the chain – smile – watch rain – eat ice-cream

--

v. Friends Like Dreams

A few days had passed and university was actually turning out to be fun. Roxas had finished his Art History essay and Naminé had read it over. She had edited it and had told him it was excellent. Roxas had just blushed, thanking her.

Actually, the last few days and been wonderful, some of the best that Roxas had had before Will went psycho on him. Roxas had never, even while he was in middle school, met such wonderful people but Roxas suspected he only thought so because for four years he’d had no one and his old friends had sort of, kind of, betrayed him. All because of his school choice, which Roxas thought was the most ridiculous thing ever.

Naminé had probably become the closest to Roxas since she had a few classes with him and when Roxas had told her he wasn’t straight Naminé had had the best reaction Roxas could have imagined. Maybe a bit of an unnerving one but a good one as far as Roxas could tell.

They had been sitting on the couch eating popcorn while watching a movie. Demyx had been dragged off by Axel, whom Roxas rather liked. Axel acted like a jerk sometimes but he was generally a nice and entirely amusing person. It was a chick flick, the movie and Roxas was positive that Naminé had figured him out because he hadn’t protested to watching the thing.

The question had been entirely out of the blue and Roxas had almost choked on his popcorn. “Roxy, are you gay?”

Roxas’s eyes widened and he felt the popcorn in his mouth begin to slide down the wrong tube. Spluttering, Roxas launched into a coughing fit so to keep the popcorn from killing him. Naminé had immediately started to pat his back, saying she was sorry and that she shouldn’t have asked since it was a personnel question.

When Roxas finally stopped coughing, the popcorn safely lying on the ground covered in saliva, he leaned back into the couch and closed his eyes. “I am.” He answered before he could keep the words in his mouth.

“Really?!” Naminé squealed and Roxas’s eyes opened to find her face contorted into utter glee. Roxas arched a brow at her, confused as to why she looked so…happy.

“Yeah…but how did you…?” Roxas trailed, unsure whether he wanted to know how she knew he was gay.

The look on Naminé’s face didn’t alter and she was giggling as she answered Roxas. This freaked Roxas out, as Naminé had never quite giggled like a hyena before. Wait, that was a bad comparison. She’d never quite giggled like a fangirl before. Roxas knew vaguely about fangirls as there had been quite a few at his high school and they would giggle and laugh and swoon at characters in mangas and models in magazines. “I have a sixth sense for these things.”

“A sixth sense…” Roxas repeated, perfectly sure that his uncertainty about the statement was clear in his voice.

“Uh-huh. I knew Demyx was gay before he did. Hell, I knew Axel was bisexual before he knew. Of course Marluxia keeps giving me mixed signals but since it’s him…I don’t think it matters,” she answered, the grin on her face lessening somewhat.

“…Nami, no offence but that’s slightly creepy,” Roxas replied, unable to hold back the small smile that was taking over his lips.

“I know. Zexion told me,” Naminé laughed, “and he kept telling me after I told him he was gay too.”

Roxas just stared at his friend, eyes blinking. He suddenly felt very afraid of Naminé, like she was a hyena…or worse a fangirl. Getting up Roxas bid her goodnight and scurried off to his room. Once he was lying flat on his back staring up at the ceiling still not in his pyjamas, Roxas let a wide grin break out over his face.

He hadn’t been planning on telling anyone of his sexual preferences and now, it hardly mattered. Naminé was okay with it and Demyx and Axel were gay themselves.

--

Roxas had been unusually happy that morning, which should have been a sign that something extremely creepy was going to happen but lost in the happy feeling that was in his stomach Roxas hardly noticed.

He’d woken up, made Demyx, Namine and Axel breakfast and was about to head out the door to get his morning latte when the door to Demyx’s room flew open and in the doorway stood a pink-haired guy.

Now, normally, Roxas wouldn’t have been disturbed if someone randomly showed up at Demyx’s house as a few guys and girls had in the month or so he’d been living with these guys. However, when he spotted the pink hair, the sharp blue eyes and the giant smirk on his lips only one word was coming to Roxas’s mind. Marluxia.

When Demyx had told him a week or so ago about Marluxia, Roxas had simply brushed it off, thinking it obviously couldn’t be the Marluxia from his middle school days. He had thought so because, well, the world had to have had other Marluxias. But it was. There was no mistaking it. The same pink hair that fell just past his shoulders, the spikes that waved out around him in layers, the startling blue eyes, the smirk.

Roxas felt himself swallow as he noticed that the boy was in nothing but a pair of black slacks, chiselled chest bare for everyone to see. He could feel the blood rush to his face as his eyes were caught in Marluxia’s.

“Finally woke up Marluxia?” Roxas heard Axel drawl, and Roxas could picture him with one elbow resting on the top of his chair and his foot brought to rest on the chair so it pushed against his chest.

The smirk on Marluxia’s face widened, but his eyes were still locked with Roxas’s and Roxas’s feet wouldn’t move. “Marly, you have to stay away from Roxy. He’s a good boy and you’re…a perv, so stay away,” Demyx said. He had probably clued into the staring competition Roxas was having with Marluxia, except that Roxas wanted to lose but his eyes wouldn’t let him.

He was feeling as uncomfortable as hell and was praying to God, hoping that Marluxia didn’t remember him. “But Demyx, I have every right to get close and comfy with Roxas. After all, I was his first boyfriend.”

Roxas heard the groan escape his lips and Marluxia’s smirk turned into a grin. “And he still remembers me!” He squealed like a schoolgirl, running forward. Roxas readied himself for the invasion of personnel space and the physical contact.

“Your first WHAT!?” Roxas heard Axel scream, followed by Demyx shouting, “DON’T YOU DARE TOUCH HIM!”

Of course Marluxia wasn’t known to listen to anyone, let alone his friends and tackled Roxas to the ground. Roxas hit the floor with a thud and his head throbbed from the collision with the hardwood. His skin prickled and he felt his heart suddenly stop as his body tensed up. His lungs were refusing to take in the oxygen he was sending them so Roxas gasped for air, trying very hard not to be afraid of the physical contact.

“Get off of him Marluxia!” Axel growled and Roxas felt the weight lying on top of him being lifted off.

“Nooo! His hair was so soft and nice and fluffy!” Marluxia cried, arms clawing at Roxas’s body on the floor.

“Didn’t you fucking hear Demyx?” Axel snapped, yanking Marluxia by the hair to the couch. Demyx was hovering over Roxas. Roxas was staring wide-eyed upwards. He could breathe again and the scared feeling that usually lasted too long was already vanishing. Roxas took in a few breaths of air to calm himself, and opened up his closed eyes.

“You okay Roxas?” Demyx asked, kneeling before Roxas. Roxas nodded his head, probably looking dazed. “Sorry about Marluxia, he’s just a fucking perv.”

“I RESENT THAT! I am no perv! I am simply very forward in my sexual advances on others,” Roxas heard Marluxia’s voice holler from the other side of the room.

“Shut-up!” Axel retorted and a thud followed his words which were followed by a loud, “OW!”

Roxas couldn’t help but smile. He hadn’t even realised that he had grasped Demyx’s hand so that the blond could help him get up.

“Isn’t that same thing as a pervert?” Naminé asked, she sounded pretty amused but equally exasperated, as if they’d had this conversation before.

“Holy shit! Roxas is holding Demyx’s hand!” Axel screamed, finger pointing at Roxas and Demyx. Roxs arched an eyebrow and then realised that he was in fact holding Demyx’s hand. Blushing a bright red, Roxas tore his hand away.

“Oh my God, Roxy! You didn’t flinch! I mean, you, you actually asked for my help!” Demyx shouted, arms flailing around him.

Roxas wasn’t sure what to say so he stared at his hand, then back at Demyx and then back to his hand. He repeated this process a few more few times, finally stopping when Marluxia’s voice cut through the air. “What’d you mean he didn’t flinch? Why would Roxas flinch?”

“Well ever since Roxas came here he avoids touching other people and this one time Demyx hugged him and he tensed up. Didn’t you notice that he was tensing up underneath you when you tackled him?” Axel asked, smacking Marluxia upside the head.

“Owww,” Marluxia cried, pouting. “But Roxy loves me, he wouldn’t tense up. Right Roxy?”

Which was when, Roxas assumed, everyone remembered the earlier statement that Marluxia was Roxas’s first boyfriend.

Everyone in the room spun around and started to throw questions at Roxas except for Marluxia who seemed offended that no one was paying any attention to him.

“You dated Marluxia?!” That was Demyx.

“Roxas, were you fucking high when you went out with this idiot?!” Axel.

“Does that mean Marly’s gay!? Roxas, answer me!” Roxas found Naminé’s question odd but pushed it aside along with the others.

“I, er…have to go!” Roxas yelled, running for the door. He swung it open and ran down the hallway as quick as he could. He heard his friends yelling behind him, loudest of all Malruxia, whom Roxas had hoped to never see again.

Not that Marluxia had been a bad first boyfriend, not at all. In fact he had made Roxas feel rather special. The problem was that Roxas’s parents had passed away shortly after Marluxia had moved off of Destiny Island and had broken up with Roxas. He had been the one who had made Roxas realise that he was gay and all that lovely other crap. The thing was that Demyx and Axel were right. Marluxia was a perv and Roxas remembered some of the things he’d done with him…Some of them made Roxas blush as red as a beet.

Panting for air as he realised that he was standing outside of his favourite café, Roxas walked inside, the aroma of freshly ground coffee beans filling his nose.

“Hey Roxas! You’re late!” Sora smiled, giving Roxas a small pout.

“Sorry,” Roxas apologized, eyes drifting to his feet.

“That’s alright Roxas! I have your latte ready and waiting for you,” Sora smiled.

“Thanks,” Roxas smiled, pulling out his wallet to pay Sora. After he had, he walked over to his favourite table and flopped down on one the stools, rubbing his eyes. If he’d known the morning would have been this hectic, Roxas wouldn’t have gotten out of bed, especially since he didn’t have classes today. Which was a problem as it meant he had to go back unless he wanted to spend nine hours sitting in a café.

And Roxas knew that as much as he loved he café, he didn’t want to do that.

--

The apartment loomed in front of him and Roxas still hadn’t managed to take a step forward after having stood in front of it for approximately half an hour. Taking in the height of the building and the red brick walls for the fiftieth time, Roxas clutched at his bags strap. Are they all still home?

Of course there was only one way to find out but Roxas felt too nervous and scared to actually go through with that idea. He had though a few times to sneak upstairs like some sort of spy but he knew that his stealth skills were definitely lacking. Or non-existent. One of the two, he wasn’t sure which though.

Sighing, Roxas looked down at his feet which didn’t want to go forward. He didn’t understand, when had his feet started to think for themselves? A soft wind blew and as if it was a signal from God or something, Roxas moved forward, a determined air settling around him. He had spent enough time wondering whether or not his friends and Marluxia would still be in the building when he reached it.

The shock of seeing Marluxia again had worn down a bit, and the flush that came to his cheeks whenever he thought about him had toned down. It was almost not there now, which was the way Roxas liked it. His feet padded to the elevator, stepped inside and he reached out to press the number eleven button. But just as the doors were about to close, a hand stopped the doors. The hand belonged to a boy, a very beautiful boy. Roxas blinked several times to make sure his eyes weren’t seeing things.

As he stepped inside the elevator, the look of nonchalance on his face, sent shivers down Roxas’s spine. It was as if the emotion had been made specifically for the boy. His blue-purple hair fell over his right eye, covering half of his face in the process. A starling dark blue eye glanced at him momentarily before turning away to stare at the elevator doors. Roxas had already noticed his pale complexion which stood out because of his hair and the black ensemble he was wearing. Tight jeans had never looked so good on any boy Roxas knew and his high school had had a few emo kids. None of them had been able to pull it off like this guy. It was as if his legs were made to be put into skinny jeans.

A thought struck Roxas then, he’d seen nothing but beautiful people these last few days, each in their own way. It went without saying that Roxas felt that Marluxia was gorgeous but the rest of his friends…they were all so pretty. Demyx’s eyes were gorgeous and his blond hair made him seem like an angel. Whereas Axel was just stunning with his emerald eyes and shock of red hair. Finally, Naminé. Roxas, in his entire life, had never liked a girl. They had always been just friends. But Naminé, he wouldn’t mind dating her.

The elevator doors open just as the blush reached his cheeks and he scolded himself for thinking about dating his friend. He didn’t want to lose them, especially after he had promised himself not to be clingy if he ever got someone who wanted to be his friend again.

The boy stepped out of the elevator and Roxas followed suite, heading in the direction of his apartment. The boy was going in the same direction. Roxas pulled out his keys from his pocket, grasping them in his fingers. The cold metal felt good, it seemed to calm him down a bit. The boy suddenly stopped right in front of Roxas’s apartment door. Huh?

He raised a hand and knocked and Roxas stood dumbly behind him wondering why the boy was knocking on his apartment door. “ROXAS?!” Someone screamed as the door was ripped open and there stood Demyx with an expression on his face that went from joy to worry all at once. His eyes dropped when he realised it wasn’t Roxas but then lit up again as he noticed Roxas standing behind the boy.

“You’re back! Axel he’s back! Call Nami and tell her!” Demyx shouted, hurling past the boy and wrapping Roxas into his arms. Roxas, unable to comprehend why Demyx had become so excited to see him, stood in his arms feeling somewhat special and confused at the same time.

“Where did you go!?” Demyx shouted at him, pushing Roxas back so that he stood an arm’s breadth away. Demyx had his hands pressed down on Roxas’s shoulders. Suddenly his eyes widened and his hands shot off of Roxas’s shoulders. “I’m so sorry Roxas! Oh God! Are you okay!? I’m so, so sorry! I was just and then and you, I’M SORRY!”

“Good to know you still care,” the boy, whom Demyx had completely ignored, said rather dryly. He stuffed his hands into his jeans pockets which seriously made Roxas wonder how. Was there even room in those things?

“Oh…Zexion! I’m sorry! I didn’t mean it! Roxas had run off this morning and I was worrying and I’m sorry! You know I love you Zexy! I do!” Demyx cried, twirling around to pull Zexion into a bear hug that, if Roxas guessed right, was probably not letting Zexion breath.

Roxas heard a small chuckle from the boy and as Zexion pushed Demyx off of him there was the faintest trace of a smile on his face. He didn’t say anything but just turned and walked into the apartment. Axel was standing in the small hallway now looking relived. “He’s alive! I told you he would be alive!”

“No, you just kicked Marluxia out saying that Roxas would know that the perv was gone and would therefore return home. He’s not Harry Potter you know!” Demyx retorted. They were still standing in the hallway and Roxas felt more than a little uncomfortable. Since Demyx didn’t look like he had any plans on entering the apartment again, Roxas brushed past him into the apartment.

“He’s back isn’t he?” Axel scoffed.

“Not because he knew Marluxia was gone, right Roxy?” Demyx countered.

Roxas chose to say nothing and smiled at Axel who was glaring at Demyx. “I can’t believe you guys worried so much. You’re such losers but thanks”.

“First you call us losers and then you thank us? What kind of a person are you?” Axel asked, sounding offended.

“The kind how calls people losers and than thanks them,” Roxas answered as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. Zexion snickered from his spot on the couch and Demyx giggled. Roxas knew Axel was glaring.

“Why didn’t you caaaallll us or pick up my phone calls to you?!” Demyx whined, sounding every bit like a five year old.

“You called me?” Roxas asked, hearing the surprise in his voice. Roxas reached into his pocket and pulled out his cell phone. Sure enough there on the screen of his phone were the words, 23 calls Missed. “You called me twenty-three times?!”

“No, no. I called you sixteen times. Marly three and Axel the rest,” Demyx replied. Roxas just stared at him unable to comprehend Demyx’s odd behaviour.

“But why’d you leave?” Axel demanded, fixing Roxas with a stern look.

“I, I guess I was just scared. I haven’t seen Marluxia in a while so it was…starling,” he answered, Marluxia’s name coming out of his throat in a sort of croak. “Anyways! You haven’t introduced me to Zexion yet!”

“Well, you already know his name. What else is left?” Axel replied, rather bluntly.

“…” Roxas had to stop himself from telling the red-head he was an idiot.

“Axel you’re such a dumbass,” Demyx laughed. “Zexy! This is Roxas!”

“I figured,” Zexion replied. “Nice to meet you.”

“You too,” Roxas smiled, taking a seat on the loveseat by the television. Axel flopped down next to him and Demyx sat beside Zexion.

“So, what’s with you letting Demyx touch you and not me?” Axel questioned giving Roxas a small glare. Roxas knew he would, at some point, have to address the fact that he wasn’t twitching every time he came into contact with his friends. As Roxas could tell, it was probably because he was more comfortable with them and that he may trust them now. Of course not completely. Roxas had trouble trusting people completely. They kept hurting him.

“I never said you couldn’t touch me, go ahead if you want” Roxas replied, realising afterward how odd the statement sounded. In fact it sounded slightly...dirty.

“Really now?” Axel smirked, arching an eyebrow at Roxas. “Well then, I think I might just have to.” His smirked grew wider and he leaned down fixing Roxas’s eyes with his own.

Roxas’s eyes grew wide and he quickly spluttered out, “You can hug me! Hug!”

Axel laughed, genuinely amused. “Hear that Demyx, you’re not that special anymore!” He leaned back giving Roxas a smile. “I wouldn’t do anything else anyways.”

For some reason Roxas felt insulted. What did he mean he wouldn’t do anything else? Was Roxas not good enough? Then another question shot up in his brain. What the hell was he thinking? Roxas had no idea so he just glared at Axel and hmphed turning his head so it faced the wall, rather than Axel.

“Yes, but he still loves me more, right Roxy?” Demyx chirped, sounding very sure of himself.

“Of course,” Roxas replied wanting to tick Axel off. He didn’t get anything but felt an arm wrap around his shoulders.

“Don’t lie to yourself Blondie. Everyone loves me more than Demyx, ask Zexy!”

Zexion simply snorted, arms crossing over his chest. “Are we going to the concert Demyx?”

“…Well, Roxas just showed up and—” Roxas cut Demyx off, feeling guilty that he had kept Demyx From going to his concert.

“You can’t miss your concert because of me!” Roxas shouted, sitting up straight in his seat.

“But you just—” Demyx began, but again Roxas cut him off. “Go to your concert! I bet you’ve been waiting for it for a long time! You can’t skip it because of me.”

Demyx looked somewhat upset so Roxas gave him a smile and Demyx’s features softened and he smiled back. “Alright….you can hang out with Axel I suppose because he doesn’t like the band we’re going to see.”

“They’re a bunch of whiney emo brats,” Axel growled, he sank back into his seat.

“You’re a whiny emo brat, so I don’t see the point of your argument,” Zexion retorted, giving Axel a disapproving look.

“I’m a punk, there’s a difference bitch,” Axel snarled, glaring at Zexion. Roxas thought he was over-reacting to the comment, insulting Zexion like that.

“Fuck off Axel,” Demyx snapped, getting up off of the couch. Zexion followed suite, giving Axel a cold glare. “I’ll see you tonight Roxy!”

“Yeah,” Roxas smiled, feeling something flutter in the depths of his stomach. It was a pleasant feeling and Roxas couldn’t help but feel happy. He gave Demyx a small wave as he left with Zexion. Axel sighed from behind him and Roxas turned around to look at him.

The red head had closed his eyes and had a hand placed to his forehead. “He’s such a fucking jackass.”

“Zexion?” Roxas asked, rather curious as to why Axel was behaving like this. He knew Axel was brass and zealous but Roxas liked to think he wasn’t rude. Even though he was at times, along with being a bit too blunt. Roxas kept his gaze on the red-head, waiting for an answer to his question. He got a small nod. “Why?”

“He just is. I don’t feel like talking about it,” Axel replied, sounding somewhat agitated. Roxas kept his eyes on the boy for a few more minutes a silence befalling the Axel and him. Roxas finally looked away, and got up, heading for the kitchen.

“I’ll make us some dinner,” he told Axel as he opened the fridge looking inside. He wanted something simple today. Chicken and veggies sounded perfect.

“Thanks,” Roxas heard Axel. He pulled out two carrots and some cauliflower.

“No problem,” Roxas said as he placed the vegetables on the counter. He pulled out a frozen meat package from the freezer and then looked through one of the cupboards for a potato. When he glanced back to where Axel had been sitting, the boy wasn’t there any more. Roxas’s eyebrow rose, wondering where his friend had disappeared off to. He wanted to call out his name but didn’t. Maybe Axel just needed a few minutes to himself. After all Axel was moody…at times.

Roxas sighed, grabbing his apron from a hook on the wall. He tied it around his waist and set to work. It would take, maybe, forty five minutes to get everything prepared. Roxas washed the vegetables and, peeling off the skin of the carrots afterward. He diced them up along and cut the cauliflower into small pieces. Roxas’s favourite part with cooking was the cutting. He knew it was because he felt like he was in control when he was cutting things. The cooking itself, well that involved a few more variables but cutting, cutting was just Roxas moving his hand up and down, the knife going with him. He loved it.

Roxas felt an arm wrap around his waist and his mind immediately thought it was Will but when he felt someone rest their chin on his shoulder he calmed down. Will would always whisper his threats in Roxas’s ears, he was never so nice. It’s just Axel…Roxas thought, but now his mind was racing again. Why was Axel holding him in such an intimate way?

“I’m sorry for being so rude,” Axel whispered, his voice barely reaching Roxas’s ears. Roxas nodded his head, saying nothing. His voice seemed like it was lodged in his throat. He had stopped cutting when Axel had suddenly wrapped his arms around him but Roxas knew that if he didn’t continue Axel would get angry that Roxas was tensing up. Axel would probably assume that it was because it was him. Roxas noted that Axel seemed somewhat jealous of Demyx at times. So he forced his hand to start cutting again, not minding the warmth that was coming from Axel’s body.

The arms around his waist were lose, Axel’s hair brushing against Roxas’s cheek. It felt prickly, the spikes seeming to poke at his skin. But somehow it didn’t hurt, the prickling didn’t bother him. “You alright?” Roxas whispered. He had finished his cutting but he couldn’t move because of Axel.

“Mmhmm,” Axel responded, his hum sounding dreamy. Roxas wondered what was going through the red-heads mind. After a minute or so he spoke up again, “Do you need me to move?”

“That would be helpful,” Roxas smiled softly, leaning his head into Axel’s to show that he was there for him if he needed him. Roxas wanted Axel to feel better, seeing him act this way was slightly unsettling since Axel was always so excited about everything in his own sardonic way.

Axel squeezed his arms around Roxas, in what felt like a hug and let go. “Sorry.”

“It’s alright,” Roxas smiled, “I’ll probably finish in about thirty-five minutes so you should find something to occupy yourself.”

“You didn’t flinch…but you tensed up at the beginning. Did I startle you? Or was it because it was me,” Axel asked; it was as if Roxas hadn’t even said anything. Roxas blinked at him, unsure of how he should proceed.

“Well, it was a bit sudden but I knew it was you so I calmed down. I already told you Axel, I’m comfortable with hugs from you. You just came out of no where and hugged me, that’s all,” Roxas answered, making sure he was careful with what he said. He didn’t want to upset Axel any further.

Axel stared at him, before walking out of the kitchen, stuffing his hands into his pockets. Roxas watched him step out onto the balcony. Fall had settled in, wasn’t he cold? Especially since he was wearing a tattered up black t-shirt with skulls and splatters of purple and blue colours swirling up from the bottom and those tight red plaid bondage pants definitely weren’t going to keep the cold out.

He wanted to follow Axel but would feel bad if he didn’t make dinner. And where was Naminé? Had she gone to go find him or something? Maybe she went to one of her friend’s places since it was a Friday and they didn’t have any classes. Demyx had told Axel to call her…Roxas wondered of Axel had. Probably, since Axel was efficient like that.

He was an odd character, that was for sure but he reminded Roxas of his friend Hayner somewhat. They had been best friends until the split. Roxas’s heart felt heavy as a picture of Hayner popped up in his mind. He had been a good friend, even though he had been the one to be most angry to see Roxas doing well in school. But he had been by Roxas’s side after his parents had died. In fact Hayner had stayed up a number of nights, trying to get Roxas to stop crying. For that Roxas would always love Hayner. Always. And possibly even forgive him.

That’s what Axel was like. The kind of guy who would try to cheer you up when you were feeling down, even though he liked to act tough, as if he was invincible. Roxas liked that about Axel. The fact that Axel thought himself invincible. Roxas wanted to feel like that sometimes. To feel as if nothing in the world could take him down. But he knew it wasn’t going to happen. Roxas had spent months trying to accept that his parents were gone and when his friends had left him afterward he had cried while hiding in the bathroom stalls at school. Home had already become another story.

Roxas didn’t want to sound like everything in his life was awful and horrible. It wasn’t. Marluxia had been nice and discovering his talent for sketching and painting had been brilliant and meeting Demyx, Naminé and Axel were definitely more than he could have asked for. Life was turning around and Roxas hoped to keep it that way. He didn’t want to mope around.

Actually, he had only stopped trying to kill himself after grade eleven when he had gotten drunk after Will had beaten him up pretty badly. He had had to hide a limp in leg for weeks from his Aunt. That had been the last time he had drunk, because someone had stopped him. Almost like they had rescued him. Roxas still couldn’t remember what had happened or exactly or who had stopped him but he hadn’t jumped off the bridge.

And Roxas had never resorted to cutting himself, like some of the kids at his school. He thought it pointless, especially since Will had been doing enough of that. Roxas wanted to be strong. Like Hayner, like Axel, like Demyx…

His thoughts wandered to the blond boy and Roxas was sure that in his entire life he hadn’t met someone so beautiful. Inside and out. Demyx had played guitar for him once and Roxas had been overwhelmed, much like when he had watched Axel dancing. And when Demyx sang, damn, it sent shivers down your spine and you wanted to listen to him forever and ever. He was so talented and nice, always trying to make Roxas feel as comfortable as possible, always worrying over Roxas when Roxas decided to come home an hour later and always telling him how amazing his culinary skills were. The pleasant sensation he had had earlier fluttered in his stomach a second time, stronger this time and a smile made it’s way onto Roxas’s face.

“Is dinner ready?” Axel called, breaking Roxas out of his inner discussion with himself. Roxas smiled as he set the food on the table. “Yeah, come and get it!” Axel walked inside, closing the door to the balcony behind him. A cold whiff of air came on contact with Roxas and he shivered involuntarily. Axel sat down in his seat smiling down at his plate. “Looks good.”

“Thanks,” Roxas said, sitting himself down beside Axel. He brought his fork down on the cauliflower and glanced at Axel who was spooning up the mashed potatoes. He looked happier. Maybe it was the dinner. Maybe it was the alone time had gotten. Either way, Roxas was happy.

“You feeling better?” Roxas asked, voicing his thoughts.

“Yeah, thanks to you,” Axel answered, giving Roxas a smile.

Roxas raised an eyebrow, displaying a confused expression, “How?”

“By just being here.”

“Well…um…Glad you feel better,” Roxas spluttered, still confused but feeling a small blush come to his cheeks. By just being here. The words rang in Roxas’s mind and he still felt confused as to how that helped but was glad it had.

The rest of dinner passed by quietly until Axel suddenly sprang up from his seat at the dinner table and yelped, “We should go do something. It’s Friday, and we’re both devilishly handsome boys with raging hormones, we should go out. Party!”

“Er…I need to wash the dishes?” Roxas knew it was just an excuse. He didn’t want to go partying since he wasn’t exactly okay with everyone being in his personnel space. That was still uncomfortable and made Roxas jumpy. His mind kept thinking that Will would show up any minute in the crowd and smirk at him, telling him that Roxas owed Will a special night. Roxas shivered, his eyes closing.

“You don’t want to get in close contact with anyone right?” Axel whispered after a short silence had settled in the room.

Roxas simply nodded his head, eyes opening. “I’m sorry…But you should go. Ask Marluxia to go with you.”

“Nah, I’ll stay with you, help you wash those dishes,” Axel smiled, ruffling Roxas’s hair as he picked up his plate and Roxas’s plate to take to the sink. Roxas shot out of his chair. “I can do the dishes myself! It’s okay! You go, don’t stay behind for me.”

“I don’t feel like going anymore,” Axel replied, turning on the tap. He rinsed the dishes under the water and began to apply soap. Roxas took the soapy dishes from Axel, rinsed off the soap and dried. He felt bad. He knew it was ridiculous but he did. He shouldn’t be holding everyone back. Demyx had almost stayed behind for him too.

“Sorry…”

“For what?”

“For holding you back from having a good time.”

Axel just laughed, giving Roxas a grin, an amused twinkle in his eyes. “Roxas, be a bit selfish for once. You’re allowed to do that you know. I do it all the time.”

“Ah…well…” Roxas didn’t know what to say so he looked down at his hands, still under the warm water. He finished with the last dish and placed it back where it was supposed to go. Placing the drying rag on the oven’s handle, Roxas looked back up at Axel who was giving him, what looked like a thoughtful look.

“You’re such a good little boy,” Axel smiled, his eyes soft and caring.

“Thanks?” Roxas replied, not sure if it was a compliment but the look on Axel’s face didn’t really suggest it to be anything else.

Axel leaned forward and gave Roxas a small kiss on the forehead. Roxas felt his cheeks burn red. “What, what was that for?”

“I’m not sure…I just felt like doing it,” Axel’s voice sounded like it was somewhere far away. After a few seconds he added, “You remind me of someone.”

“Who?” Roxas thought it strange that he reminded Axel of someone when Axel himself reminded Roxas of Hayner.

“An old friend of mine, rather an old friend I had once had,” Axel whispered, his voice sounding sadder. Roxas felt concerned, Axel seemed like he was settling into his previous upset mood.

“You okay?” Roxas said, hand reaching out to Axel’s cheek. He tilted his head to the side, eyes fixed on Axel.

“Yeah,” Axel said immediately, his voice an octave higher than it had been before. He seemed to have snapped out of his daze.

“Are you sure?” Roxas asked, taking his hand away from Axel’s cheek.

“Of course! Now come on, let’s watch something on television. I can tell you some of Demyx’s most embarrassing moments!” He had gone completely back to his usual self. Roxas decided that Axel was the oddest of his new friends, as his moods swung from one to another relatively quickly. But Roxas got the feeling he was hiding something. Something a lot like what Roxas was keeping away from them.

People love to keep things from one another, eh? But then again, Roxas thought, it’s hard to tell anyone about the painful things in life.

Roxas walked over to the couch and flopped down next to Axel, eyes settling on the screen. They ended up staying awake, bashing whoever they could in whatever they were watching, until Demyx returned home with Zexion in tow. Apparently the boy hadn’t wanted to come but Demyx had dragged him back. Roxas had glanced at Axel almost immediately but if Axel was angry at seeing Zexion, he didn’t show it.

Demyx and Zexion had joined them but Demyx had demanded they watch a movie and so had popped in The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, which really seemed like a Demyx kind of movie. The movie didn’t end until three in the morning, and when Roxas bid everyone goodnight, Axel ruffled his hair saying thank-you again. Demyx had given Roxas a strange look but Roxas chose to ignore it.

He walked into his room, changed into an oversized shirt and shorts and dreamt of a certain blond. When he would wake up the next morning, a revelation would hit him.

--

Author's Notes: DON'T YOU GUYS JUST LOVE MARLUXIA?! I fucking do. I could like eat him. And Naminé is just made of awesome. She has gay guy detecting powers. They're the best kind there are.

Review pleeaassee! I'll let you have your way with Riku if you do. :D (Him because he is insignificant to my plot line and therefore can hate me for making him my review attaining slave boy without me feeling guilty. Aren't I a genius?)