Here’s Where I Stand

Disclaimer : I don’t own anything, and I don’t claim to. This story does contain slash, so If you don’t like it don’t read it. Flames will be ignored. So…on to the story.

Kate was sitting at the counter in the kitchen doing a crossword puzzle in the newspaper when her two youngest children came in the back door. “Hey guys, what have been up too?” The smile that had been on her face only seconds ago faded quickly, she could always tell when there was something wrong with her kids- especially Rory, Kate could read him like a picture book. “What ‘s wrong.” There was an inkling of panic on the edge of her voice.

Kerri looked at Rory with a sheepish look, she tried to smile at him to be encouraging.

Kate looked at them, waiting for an answer. “ Well ?” When her question was met with only silence, she began to guess what happened. A stray thought struck her brain and she jumped up from her stool and made a bad dash for the backdoor. “Don’t tell me you wrecked the van !”

Kerri grabbed her mother’s arm and stopped her from running out the back door. “Mom the van is fine.--don’t worry.

“Then tell me what is the matter, and don’t lie I can tell that something is up.” Kate put her hands on her hip and gave her daughter a pointed stare.

Kerri glanced over her shoulder and looked at her brother, he was staring at the floor, with his shoulders hunched. Kerri could see how the burden of keeping his secret was warring him down. He needed to tell their mother the truth , and since it was becoming obvious that he couldn’t start the conversation himself Kerri decided to help. She knew she had to nudge him into doing it, which she never would have done had she not truly believed he was ready. Kerri sighed and closed her eyes and in one breath set in motion the chain of events that would totally change her brothers life. She opened her mouth, looked Kate in the eyes and said, “Mom, Rory has to talk to you about something.”

Kate turned and looked at Rory and became even more worried when she saw the somewhat defeated look on his face. “Rory, what’s the matter.”

Rory didn’t say anything at all he just walked past his mom and his sister and flopped down on the couch and put his head in his hands. He couldn’t believe he decided to do this, He could have forced himself to be with girls, he had kissed them before and it wasn’t totally awful. No ! he put that thought away in the back of his mind, beside he had already told his dad and his sister and once you come out of the closet there is no going back in.

Before he could really prepare himself to say those three little words- his mom was sitting next to him on the couch. He felt her warm hand on his back and couldn’t help but relax a little.

“What is going on sweetheart?” Kate was at a loss at what to do, her baby was upset and she couldn’t figure out why.

Kerri came over and sat down on the other side of her brother and picked up his hand and gave it a small squeeze. This freaked Kate out even more; Kerri and Rory were getting along, whatever it was had to be big and it had to be bad. “Please let me in on what is going on before I lose it.” Her voice showed that she was beginning to get rattled.

For the first time in almost ten minutes Rory looked at something other then the floor, unfortunately it happened to be at a picture of him as a baby that was hanging on the wall. His parents had all the hopes and dreams in the world for their little boy and he was about to destroy them. Rory had to laugh despite himself, the picture was crooked. He couldn’t help but laugh -- not even his pictures could be straight.

“Is there anyone else home?” Rory’s voice cracked under the stress of not talking for so long.

Kate gave a somewhat bewildered look to he son,. “ No, Bridget is at the mall, Dad is on a date and CJ went to the movies -why?”

“I have to tell you something important and I don’t think that I can do it if there are any disruptions.” Rory once again found the floor interesting. He closed his eyes and took a shuttering breath, he decide the only way to do this was like pulling off a band-aid, quick and to the point. “I went to see Dad today.”

Kate sighed, “Is that what this is about Honey? We all miss him, it’s okay.” She went to touch his shoulder again and was a little hurt when he pulled away .

“Mom, please let me finish!” Rory’s voice was a little more angry then he had intended for it to be. Seeing the hurt look on his mom’s face he apologized. “I’m sorry Mom, it’s just that what I have to say is really hard on me and I just want to get it out. “

Sensing he was about to brake Kate let him finish. “Okay Rory, tell me what is on your mind.”

Rory took a deep breath and sighed. “I have some big news that I have to share, but I wanted Dad to be the first one I told, so I went to the cemetery and Kerri happened to be there when I told him. I wanted to tell you right after Dad, but.” He was fidgeting with a loose sting on a couch cushion.

Kate pulled the pillow away from him. “Rory?”

“Mom, I’m Gay.” As the words passed through his lips he began to cry.

Kate sat for a moment with her mouth open , and then pulled Rory into a hug and started to cry herself.

“Oh Honey, don’t cry. It’s alright.”

“You aren’t disappointed in me?”

Kate smiled at him through her tears. “Rory, I’m not going to lie to you--I will admit that I am disappointed that some of the things I wanted for you when your were born, are not going to happen now, but I’m not disappointed in you. I am so proud of you, coming out especially at your age take so much courage. Courage that if I were in your shoes I don’t think that I would have.”

“How do you think Dad would have felt?” Rory broke out in a fresh wave of tears.

“All your father and I wanted and what I still want is to see you kids happy and you can’t be happy if you are not being yourself and this is a part of who you are., we would never want your to deny a part of your heart. Rory you are still my baby and will always be no matter who you love.” Kate pulled Kerri into the hug as well. “I have the philosophy that love is never a bad thing. We all need it to make it through the day, or else we’d go crazy.

She handed her two kids tissues and then took one herself, she dried off her face and stood up pulling her son and daughter with her. “Come on kids let’s go out to dinner and we can talk--everyone else can fin for themselves. Why don’t we continue this conversation over pizza, there is so much I need to know.

Next chapter will be up soon kiddies--so review, review, review