Before His Choice

A/N:I still don’t have my writing on this computer yet and it’s making me go slightly crazy because I really, REALLY want to be working on my sequel to Fidélité. So I have to settle for actually thinking up new ideas so I don’t have writers’ withdrawal. There’s something about having a laptop that makes you want to write. Seriously .

This is another Chesmond fic. No, not slash. I don’t do slash unless it’s in one of my humor stories. And even then it’s rare. It’s funny, because I actually started off writing about Charlie and Claire together, but now I don’t like to leave Des out of my stories but I’m fine with leaving Claire out. You’ve gotta love Desmond. Claire…eh. She’s all right. Like her sometimes, not so much other times.

Characters:Charlie, Desmond, brief Hurley appearance.
Setting:The Island. Sometime after the death premonitions.
Disclaimer:If I owned Lost Charlie and Desmond would be the centric characters and Locke would be a red shirt.

Charlie was sitting on the beach, a simple smile on his face as he looked out into the ocean. A gentle breeze was playing with his already messy hair and the sunshine had caught the blue in his eyes. He had shaved recently and there was no sign of stubble on his face. His feet were bare and his jeans were dirty and sandy. His old shirt had some stains on it. His arms were scratched pretty severely from general life on the island. He carried some sadness with him due to the recent news of his quickly approaching death, but yet there was still some life in his dying body. Some light still shone through.

He looked up at Desmond, waiting for an answer. Desmond was standing near him wearing jeans that were a bit too big for him and a tattered blue shirt. His wild dark hair was blown all around his face and the beard he was sporting was starting to look unkempt.

Desmond had seen Charlie down by the beach and assumed he might need some company during this hard time. But when he saw the content look on Charlie’s soft boyish face, Desmond knew Charlie was a lot stronger than people made him out to be.

“Have you?” Charlie prodded, seeming interested as he peered up at his friend against the sunlight.

“I have, yes,” Desmond finally answered after a moment. A little smile played upon his lips. “Still am.”

“Oh, yeah?” Charlie asked. Desmond assumed this might be a long conversation. He sat down. “With who?” Charlie asked.

“Her name’s Penelope,” Desmond answered, smiling out at the waves.

Charlie smiled. “That’s a beautiful name.”

“She’s beautiful,” Desmond assured Charlie. “I’d show you a photograph of herbut I lost it when the hatch imploded. Maybe when we’re rescued.”

Desmond immediately regretted it after he said it. There most likely wasn’t going to be a rescue for Charlie. It was possible that he could be saved, but the chances of that weren’t very great. Desmond gave him an apologetic look.

But the smile never broke away from Charlie’s face. “Yeah, Des. When we get rescued.”

Such optimism. Such hope. Desmond couldn’t help but want to do everything he could to protect and preserve Charlie; someone he had only known for such a short time. But he saw the light he had brought into the lives of everyone at the camp. People always seemed much brighter when they were conversing with him or when they were near him.

Desmond heard the happiness in Hurley’s laugh when Charlie joked with him. He saw the adoration in Claire’s eyes, even when she was upset with him. Desmond noticed the little smiles of amusement Jack tried to hide.

“Have you been in love, Charlie?” Desmond asked.

Charlie tilted his head to the side and considered this. “You know…I really don’t know.”

Desmond laughed. “How can you not know if you’ve been in love?

“I mean…I think I tried to be in love,” Charlie said, remembering Lucy. “But I don’t think I ever was.”

“Love isn’t something you try to obtain,” Desmond pointed out. “It’s just something that you realize one day. You wake up and something’s different. And then you know.”

Charlie grinned slightly. “That’s how I felt when I was getting addicted to heroin.”

“Well, you loved the heroin, didn’t you?”

“…Yes…”

“And giving it up was one of the hardest decisions you ever made, aye?”

“Yeah.”

“And you keep going back to it. And you feel like you can’t get away from it because you’ve been using it for so long. You just can’t picture yourself without it. That’s how love is. But it‘s a girl instead of a drug.”

“…Well thanks for bringing it down to my level.”

Desmond smiled and squeezed Charlie’s shoulder as he stood up. “Let me know if you need anything, all right?”

Charlie looked up at him. “Oh, I can think of plenty of things I need.”

Desmond tried to contain a smile. “Like what?”

“Like your death visions to stop.”

Desmond’s smile faded. “I’m trying, brother. What more can I do?”

“…Not…have…them…?”

Desmond turned away and started walking. “I’ll see you, Charlie.”

“I mean, at first…” Charlie continued. Desmond stopped and turned around to listen to him. “At first it was just like ‘whatever. This is rubbish.’ And then I started to believe you. And then I thought ‘what have I got to live for?’ you know? It didn’t matter so much anymore because I realized I don’t have much to begin with.”

Desmond raised his eyebrows. “You want to die? Charlie, you realize that I’m going to do what I can to save you…”

Charlie shook his head. “I don’t want to anymore. I think…I think I love Claire.”

Desmond smiled. “You think? Or you know?”

Charlie shrugged. “It’s like you described. No matter what I always keep going back to her. I can’t picture myself without her because I’ve been around her for so long.”

“You think she feels the same for you?”

“…Sometimes?”

“Sometimes?” Desmond laughed. “She’s either head over heels for you, hates you, or just sees you as a friend.”

“Trust me, what we have falls into the ‘sometimes’ category,” Charlie assured him. “If you had been around back in the day, you wouldn’tneed a TV here. You’d have your own soap opera.”

“It’s true,” Hurley added in as he walked by. “They even let the audience interact. Good stuff.”

Charlie glared at him slightly and Hurley grinned as he walked away. Charlie turned back to Desmond.

“I mean…I’d do anything for her.”

Desmond’s face fell. He knew Charlie would. There was no doubt in his mind about that, at least. He saw how protective he was over Claire. He saw how faithful he stayed and he had heard stories about how he always returned to her - no matter what she had done. Desmond had no doubt he’d go to the ends of the Earth for her.

“You really think you would?” Desmond asked quietly.

Without hesitation, Charlie answered. “I know I would.”

-LOST-

A/N:Sorry. I dunno what that was. I think that’s one of the most random, pointless stories I’ve written. But oh well.