|Digestives of Troy
Author: Lyphesis PM
Biscuits, always a vital part of life, have been mysteriously omitted from the Iliad. I blame later editing. But what if they were included once more...?Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 5 - Words: 2,660 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 02-15-10 - Published: 11-07-07 - id: 3878723
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Boredom in school combined with Classics leads to such thoughts as "What if they had biscuits in the Iliad?". This is the highly mental product of a string of double Physics lessons and a very silly mind, copied from near-illegible transcripts in a rough book. I, frankly, will get a life when I damn well feel like it.
Agamemnon was awoken by the sounds of shouting, and pounding feet. Fearing an attack, he snatched up his sword instinctively, but remembered the informal ceasefire; it would hurt the Trojans more not to uphold it. Tentatively, he poked his head outside.
Soldiers, hundreds of them, were sprinting after a single, screaming enemy. Some of them were even cutting to the side to harness their horses. Before the whole mob disappeared into the distance, Agamemnon ran after it.
Soon the fleeing man seemed to tire. With a cumulative roar of triumph, the first row of the crowd collapsed on him, punching viciously. Agamemnon fought his was to the front.
"Men! Stop!" he boomed, "How dare you all gang up on one man?! Where is your sense of hono--" he paused, having got his first good look at the bruised man. "Achilles?"
"My lord?" he replied weakly.
"Why...on earth...are you all chasing Achilles?" Agamemnon shouted at the mob. "What's he done now?"
"For five years," ventured one man, "we have not known biscuits. But now we find he is hoarding a packet of digestives. Chocolate digestives." The crowd hissed, and Agamemnon looked at Achilles.
"Is this true?" he said, his voice dangerously low.
"I'm depressed," said Achilles defensively. "I need the sugar." He clutched the packet to his chest.
Agamemnon sighed and turned away.
"Go for it, boys," he said boredly, not watching them as they once more lunged at a screaming Achilles, swords drawn.
My, my, isn't it short when it's typed? Anyway, the rest of the saga will soon be typed and posted. R+R, if you dare...