THIRTY-TWO

“Right then, here we are,” the Doctor said cheerfully, the Time Rotor slowing to a stop. He straightened up slowly and his hands went into his dimensionally-exponential pockets as he looked around at the people in the TARDIS.

Jack was standing just behind Martha, his arms folded over a fresh white shirt purloined from the TARDIS’s massive wardrobe. Kickick and Bronnin were walking down to the doors, trying to pretend they weren’t dragging their feet.

Bronnin turned and looked round, finding the Doctor’s face and smiling warmly. He just nodded, but she put her hand up and tipped her finger at him.

Martha looked over at Fergus, watching the railings on the ramp resolutely. She turned to Jack and put her hands on his arm, pushing. He took her hint and put his arm round her shoulder, walking her off and back into the depths of the ship.

The Doctor wandered down the ramp slowly, hands in his pockets, his gait a little thrown off by the wobble in his left leg. He stopped in front of Bronnin, looking apologetic.

“I don’t know what to say,” she smiled up at him, shaking her head. “I cannot think of anything that would mean something. After all I’ve seen, after all we’ve done, what is there to say?” she whispered. She felt her throat a little tight and swallowed to relax it deliberately.

“How about… uhhm… ‘I never want to see another Dark Matter machine as long as I live’?” he smiled.

“Yes,” she said, nodding. She put her hands out and put them to the lapels on his brown suit jacket firmly, tugging him slightly closer to her. “Thank you,” she said cheerfully, letting her hands go to his loosened tie and push it to the left gently to straighten it. “Thank you for everything. Everything you’ve said, and helped, and done, and fixed, and seen, and… and for being you.”

She put her arms round him and pressed herself to his suit, and he put his arms round her gratefully. He leaned his cheek on her head, closing his eyes for a long moment.

“You know,” he said, opening his eyes but not letting go, “if ever you get bored, I could just come back.”

“Well you never know,” she said bravely, holding onto him, “I just might.”

She counted the seconds, knowing they were ticking away and there was nothing she could do to stop them. She felt herself sniff and pulled her arms from him slowly. She looked up at him, putting her hands to his face and kissing him firmly by the mouth.

“Take care, Time Lord,” she said quietly. She turned away quickly, went to Fergus, and hugged him tightly. “And you.”

She pulled herself away and hurried to the doors, opening the right one and stepping out quickly. She pulled it closed behind her and leaned back on it, willing herself not to cry.

The Doctor’s large eyes bored into the door, the impulse to call her back suddenly very distinct and almost unstoppable.

But he made himself turn away slowly, looking back up toward the Time Rotor.

He felt a hand on his arm and turned again. Kickick smiled at him sadly.

“She’s really going to miss you,” she said kindly. “We both are.”

“Yeah,” he allowed, letting out a faltering sigh. She pulled him into a hug and rested her head on his shoulder.

“Look after Fergus for me,” she whispered, then squeezed him once and pulled him away. “And be more careful. He’d be lost if anything happened to you.”

“Don’t look back. Have fun,” he offered warmly, and she smiled. She let go of him and he walked away, up to the Time Rotor, looking over the controls.

She turned and walked back down the doors, hearing Fergus walk up behind her.

“It’s no too late tae change yi mind, hen,” he said cheerfully, and she smiled.

“I can’t, Fergus. This is the best way for both of us. I’ll think of you every day,” she said, putting her hands out and round him.

He crushed her against him, dreading the moment he knew he’d have to let go.

“Ah’ll love yi more tomorrow,” he whispered.

She let out a small giggle but it sounded laced with tears. She sniffed and pulled herself from him slowly.

“I know you will,” she said firmly, then kissed him briefly. “And maybe some day, when you’re tired of this and need somewhere to stop and rest, you’ll come and find me.”

“If yi’d still want me, all tired oot and knackered,” he joked. She nodded.

“Oh I would.” She stepped back, putting her hand out to the door. “Goodbye, Fergus Campbell. My hero,” she added cheekily, turning and hurrying through the door. She slammed it shut behind her.

Fergus let his hands slide into his pockets silently, watching his feet. He blew out a long sigh, but he didn’t move.

“I, ah…” the Doctor began uncertainly.

“Leave it,” Fergus said quietly.

“Well, you know, better to have loved and lost, than–“

“Get tae fuck.”

“Yeah. Quite right. Sorry,” the Doctor said awkwardly. There was a long moment of silence. The Time Lord put his hands in his pockets and hobbled almost smoothly down the ramp, standing behind the younger man silently.

“Forget it. Ah’m sorry, man,” Fergus said suddenly. “That was really oot of order, what Ah said just noe.” He cleared his throat, still staring at the blue doors. “Ah just keep forgetting – Ah shouldn’t expect you tae understand what Ah’m feeling right noe. Yir lucky, yi knoe,” he said suddenly. “Yi’ll never huv tae do this, tae anyone.”

“Uhhm–“

“Never huv tae sae goodbye tae thi one girl yi loved.”

“Well, you’d be surpri–“

“Skipper, leave it. Ah knoe yir only trying tae help, but really – and don’t take this thi wrong wae – but hoe am Ah supposed tae believe yi could knoe what it’s like?” he said, his voice bitter.

There was a long silence. Then Fergus was surprised to hear the Doctor’s soft voice from right behind him.

“It’s the worst feeling in all the worlds. In any life.”

Fergus turned and looked at him, and the Time Lord was disturbed, but not surprised, by the water in the young Scot’s eyes. He frowned at him, his eyes wide with worry, and Fergus took a deep breath uncertainly.

“Don’t tell me yi’v actually fallen fae some lassie at some point in yir thousand years?” he said recklessly, his voice full of despair. He sounded past caring.

The Doctor held his gaze for a long second. “Like you wouldn’t believe,” he admitted quietly.

Fergus squeezed his eyes shut, determined not to let the tears fall. Before he knew it, he’d put a hand out and clamped it round the taller man’s.

The Doctor simply wheezed out a sigh, managing to convey more sympathy, more anguish and more understanding in that one sound than anyone could have jammed into a thousand words.

He put his arms round Fergus and the young man grabbed onto him, steadying his breathing and willing himself not to spill any tears.

It was quiet a long few minutes.

At last Fergus opened his eyes.

“Skipper,” he said quietly, his voice slightly muffled. “If anyone ever asks, this never happened.”

“Of course,” the Doctor said, hiding a grin as he let go of the young man. He stood back one, looking up at the Time Lord a little differently now.

“So… after you’d left that wee lassie behind, what did yi dae next?” he asked bravely.

“I let the TARDIS pick a new destination, and went wherever she took me,” he said knowingly. “Which… if I remember rightly… turned out to be… Wester Drumlins, in London,” he said.

“Och awae and–. Ah’m no going tae London!” he said testily. “Ah want some far awae planet full of sex goddesses and beer!”

“Really?” the Doctor asked carefully. “A whole planet full of sex goddesses and–“

“Aye – and no brown ones, neither,” he bit out sourly. The Doctor watched him with large, apologetic eyes for a moment, until Fergus looked up.

“A pale girl?” the Doctor offered slowly. Fergus thought about it.

“In a blue room,” he said grudgingly.

“With a pink dress?” he offered, starting to smile.

“And a wide smile,” Fergus said, his face brightening.

“You’ve got a little way to go before you?”

“Find thi knowledge that yir searching for, so ye?”

“Turn the big world upside down just to?”

“Find thi things that yi never wanted!” Fergus chuckled. He threw his head back, as did the Doctor, and they took deep breaths.

“To see a pale girl in a blue room with a pink dress and a wide smile!” they sang together raucously. “I need a pink smile on a dark night from the right girl to make sure it’s right!” they continued, trying to sing louder than the other.“You’ve got three million things to get mad about! Another hundred things to get glad about!”

Jack’s head appeared round the frame to the main room, quickly followed by Martha’s, and they watched, clueless.

“Junk food, the whole world over’s good as standing round – so baby twist and shout! Baby – find out baby – find out–“ the two men sang, oblivious of their audience.

“Do you think this a private party, or can anyone join in?” Jack hissed from the corner of his mouth to Martha. She shrugged, grinning.

“So it’s April and the things you say don’t?” the Doctor sang.

“Seem as certain as on Hogmanay!” Fergus sang, chuckling. “Kissed at midnight and a wee wee Bell’s gave me courage for ma–“

Jack put his fingers in his mouth and blew out a piercing whistle.

“Hey fellas!” he called, coming out from round the corner and pulling Martha with him. The Time Lord and the Scot just looked over, Fergus clearing his throat and looking at his feet. The Doctor simply sniffed.

“Oh, Jack, Martha, er, we were, er–“

“Whatever,” Jack grinned, waving his hands at him. “I was just going to ask for a lift home.”

“What, now?” Martha asked, surprised.

“Well yeah,” he said. “I’ve got people to look after – and you’ve got patients to see to,” he pointed out.

Martha looked back at the Doctor guiltily.

“He’s right, I do,” she said sadly.

“If it helps,” the Gallifreyan said, swishing from side to side slowly with a face sparkling with mischief, “I can travel in time.”

She laughed out loud for a long moment, then put her hands up in surrender.

“Ok, fine!” she laughed. “But if I’m going on one more trip, then so is he,” she said, chucking a thumb at Jack.

Jack put his hands on his hips, thinking.

“Well… ok. But just one,” he said. The Doctor grinned, running up the ramp – only slightly fazed by the wobbly knee – and began wrenching controls and turning knobs and levers.

“Can’t imagine you’ve used that line much,” the Time Lord chuckled, and Jack tutted. “Oh but wait,” he said suddenly. He thought for a second. “Fish and chips! We need to go and get four suppers – three fish, one sausage – right now.”

“Why?” Jack asked, lost.

“Because Jack has fish – that’s the fourth supper!” he cried, snapping his fingers and laughing.

“Woah woah woah,” Fergus said, drawing everyone’s attention. “You, me, him and her?” he prompted, and the Doctor nodded. “In thi same TARDIS?”

“Oh come on, Mister Campbell,” he said grandly, but Fergus put a finger up.

“It’s Fergus,” he stressed. The Doctor nodded slowly, then grinned.

“Fergus,” he corrected. “Us four together? In the same TARDIS? What’s the worst that could happen?”

THE END

THANK YOU AND GOODNIGHT