Chapter Six: Denial

Tru was taken aback, stunned.

“How could you know that?”

“I know a lot more than you think I know, Tru. I’m dead, remember?”

“Still…” she objected. “I don’t understand how you could know all this.”

“I can show you what she looks like, Tru. Wouldn’t you like to see your daughter?”

Jensen’s question remained suspended in the still air around them until Tru swallowed hard, her throat parched.

“My daughter? How?”

Jensen grinned, his eyes meeting Jack’s as he spoke. “With Jack’s cooperation, of course.”

Jack eyed the other man suspiciously. “What do you need me to do?”

“Kiss her,” Jensen told him. “It’ll establish the connection needed to create your child and what you need to see in your vision… for now.”

Tru turned to face Jack again as he took her into his arms.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Jack asked, brushing a few dark tendrils of hair gently away from her face.

“It’s our daughter, Jack. Of course I want to see her.”

“How do you know he’s not trying to trick us?”

Tru shook her head.

“It’s not a trick,” she replied, glancing warily in Jensen’s direction, staring at him for a moment. “I know it isn’t.”

Jack stroked her cheek, instantly breaking the contact she held with Jensen.

“I’m ready,” she told him.

The eyes of Life and Death met, their connection already becoming established, seconds before their lips touched in an intimate union that would allow them a glimpse of their future child and the life they would share together.

Jack’s lips crashed against Tru’s as she urged him to deepen the kiss, the connection growing stronger as each precious second ticked by…

Flash.

“Clarity, what did Ms. Susan teach you in physical therapy today?”

Tru stared into the bright, inquisitive brown eyes of her youngest daughter. Her dark brown hair cascaded past her shoulders and was held together by a pink butterfly clip in a long twisted braid.

Six-year-old Clarity smiled as she stood up from her chair, taking a few steps forward.

“Step, crutch. Step, crutch,” she said, repeating each word emphatically as her bright pink crutches moved in careful synchronicity with her feet. Tru walked slowly beside her, a hand against her daughter’s back to keep her steady.

“You’re doing great, baby,” Tru breathed. “I’m so proud of you.”

She knew how hard Clarity had been working as she practiced with her crutches daily. Cerebral palsy caused her muscles to be tight, making walking and other mobility-related activities difficult. Because of this, she also used a wheelchair.

“Can I show Daddy and Kira when they get home?” Clarity asked, as Tru picked her up and removed the tiny pair of crutches from her small arms.

She kissed Clarity’s forehead. “Of course you can, sweetheart. Of course you can.”

Flash.

“As a representative of The Powers That Be, I have come to tell you that the council considers your daughter unfit to carry on the natural line,” the woman standing in front of Tru and Jack said.

“Unfit?!” Tru exclaimed, stepping forward angrily. “My daughter is fiercely intelligent. She has cerebral palsy, but that doesn’t make her any less capable.”

The woman shook her head. “If she were to carry on as the role of Life in the natural line, she’d be seen as a formidable threat. Her physical limitations prevent her from --…”

“A threat?! She’s six years old!” Tru spat. “And she’s been through way more than any six-year-old should ever have to go through. The surgeries, the physical therapy… she was born 3 months premature and we didn’t know if she would make it past her first few months of life… so if you think my daughter is unfit for my calling, then I need to speak with your superior.”

“Tru,” Jack warned from behind her cautiously.

Her name echoed around her.

Tru.

Tru.

Flash.

“Tru.”

It was Jensen’s voice she heard now.

The kiss was broken.

“No,” Tru said slowly, moving backwards, away from Jack, and collapsing into Jensen’s arms. “It can’t be… she can’t!”

“Tru,” Jack said softly, taking a step forward. “Everything’s going to be alright.”

“No,” she whispered, as she shook in Jensen’s arms, struggling with what she’d just seen.

And then she sunk into a spiraling unconsciousness of denial.

Oblivion.

In the devil’s arms, she sunk deeper.

Into oblivion.

Into denial.

“Tru, wake up. I have Kira.”

Jensen’s voice penetrated through the depths of her unconsciousness, bringing her to the surface. Eyes fluttering, she found herself staring into the captivating blue eyes of the devil she knew.

“Jensen,” she said slowly. “Where did you take her? Did Jack find you?”

“Of course Jack found me. I knew he would eventually,” Jensen chuckled lightly. “I took her to your father’s office. She needs to know who her grandfather is. Though I’m surprised with the way you’ve been treating him. Do you really think ignoring your father’s existence will make him go away? I really wouldn’t expect such behavior from Richard’s youngest daughter.”

“I was going to tell him when I felt ready,” Tru replied. “And even then, I really don’t want him to be a part of my daughter’s life. Not after I found out who he really was and what he did to Mom.”

She looked away for a moment.

Denial.

He saw the creases of denial carefully etched in the features of her face.

Her eyes met Jensen’s once more as she opened her arms.

“Give Kira to me.”

Jensen placed their daughter, still fast asleep and clutching the pink teddy bear Richard had given her, into her mother’s open, welcoming embrace.

“Thank God you’re okay,” Tru whispered, holding the little girl against her chest as she pressed a kiss into her soft brown hair. “I’m just glad you’re safe. Mommy has you. You’re safe now.”

“You really don’t trust me, do you?”

“Why should I? After all you’ve put me through, why should I trust you, Jensen?”

“Because I gave you something you couldn’t refuse. Even though a part of you wanted an abortion, we both know the reason why. It was only because you wanted to make yourself forget about me – about us – not because you didn’t want her. You wanted to deny us because there’s still a part of you that wants to deny that anything between us ever happened. But something did. I gave you something you always wanted. I gave you the chance to be the mother to our beautiful daughter, to raise her, to watch her grow into the amazing young woman you know she’ll become… something your mother never got a chance to see. That alone should give you reason enough to trust me.”

He paused, focusing on the intensity of her dappled brown eyes.

“Because you can’t deny that.”

And then he left her, speechless. He left her in a deep reverie reflecting over the potency of his words, which she knew to be the truth.

Denial glimmered in her eyes as she stayed lost in her own mind, searching for words that no longer held any sense of importance or meaning.

Just empty words.

Suddenly, Jack’s dark, rich voice broke through her altered state.

“Tru, we need to talk.”

“What do you mean?” Jack asked her, concerned. “What’s going to go wrong, Tru?”

“I don’t know, but something is. I can feel it. I just know. I’m not sure what, but I know.”

“Don’t think like that. Our baby is going to be fine. When is your first ultrasound?”

“In a few weeks,” Tru told him, placing a protective hand over her stomach. “It’s a girl. I know it. I’ve seen her in my dreams.”

Jack sighed, stroking Tru’s hair reassuringly as she sunk deeper into his embrace.

“Tru, are you sure about this?”

“Of course I’m sure. Why are you fighting with me so much on this? I thought you wanted to start a family.”

“I do want to start a family. With you. More than anything,” Jack replied. “But if now isn’t the right time --…”

“No, Jack,” Tru interrupted. “Now is the perfect time. I won’t be in this sanitarium forever. You know that.”

“I know.”

A moment of silence passed between them as Tru savored every moment of being in his embrace; the sweet, spicy aroma of the cologne on the creases of his neck overwhelmed her senses.

Denial.

She closed her eyes, wanting to deny the predicament she was in. Wanting to deny being in this dark hell hole of a sanitarium. Wanting to return to the life she once knew, to see Harrison and Davis again, to see Kira grow up, to nurture the new life growing inside her womb…

Denial.

“Tru, drink your tonic.”

She opened her eyes to see Jensen standing in front of her, holding a small glass with shiny golden liquid inside of it.

“Jack,” she whispered, writhing in his embrace.

“Tru, what’s going on?” Jack asked.

Jensen’s voice overwhelmed her. “Drink your tonic, Tru. It’s for the baby.”

The baby…

She took the shiny glass with the golden liquid from him, her fingers wrapped around the cool glass tightly.

“Tru, what’s going on? Jensen gave you something, didn’t he? Don’t drink it, Tru. Please…”

“Drink it, Tru,” Jensen whispered hypnotically. “For the baby. For your daughter. For Clarity…”

“For my daughter,” she repeated.

Slowly, she brought the glass to her lips, imbibing its contents. It burned her throat as the bittersweet flavor left her mouth and the tonic coursed its way through her bloodstream. Her vision blurred and drowsiness began to overtake her very quickly.

“Jack…”

Denial turned into oblivion as she tumbled into the never-ending spiral of unconsciousness.

“Tru, it’s Jack. I don’t know if you can hear me. It’s about the baby. You were in a very serious car accident. Your water broke and the baby had to be taken out as soon as they brought you into the hospital. She’s 3 months early and is in the neo-natal intensive care unit. Doctors put her on a lung monitor since she isn’t even able to breathe on her own yet. They don’t know if she’ll…”

His voice cracked, broken in denial.

Pull through this alive, he thought.

He wanted to deny everything. He wanted to deny Tru’s critical condition and the tubes and machines that kept oxygen flowing through her seemingly lifeless body. He also wanted to deny the critical condition of his newborn daughter. Now, both mother and daughter dangled precariously on the thread of Life.

Denial.

“I love you, Tru. Please come back to me. Please. I love you…”

Author’s Note: That’s all for now! Lots of twists and turns in this chapter and many more still to come. I purposely wanted to focus more on Clarity in this chapter and the denial Tru begins to go through over her daughter’s disability, though we also see how she eventually comes to accept it. Although I will go into more detail about cerebral palsy in later chapters, if anyone has any questions, please do not be afraid to ask them! The character of Clarity is written purely from personal experiences (as well as fictional) and reflects some of my own life as a person with a disability. I guess you can say that Clarity was written to promote disability awareness in fanfic land, something which I have yet to see in other works of fanfiction.

I did want to delve into a discussion between Tru and Jack about why Tru never told Jack she was considering an abortion, but felt this chapter was running long enough, so that will most definitely be addressed in the next chapter. Promise!

Oh, and the scene where Tru and Jack are in the sanitarium and Jensen appears... he appears only to Tru. Since he's dead, he can choose to appear to who he wants to and when, but Jack is smart enough to figure out that he is still manipulating Tru in some way. The tonic idea came from the seeing the Phoebe/Cole relationship on Charmed. Loved that whole storyline when I saw re-runs of the show and thought it might be interesting to incorporate into this story as Jensen poisons Tru, trying to prevent her from giving birth to the next person who will represent Life. Think about the conversation Jensen had with Richard a few chapters earlier.

I’ll do my best to post the next chapter soon, but I start summer school in 2 weeks and I just changed majors, so things have been a little hectic on my end. Thankfully, I’ve had enough time off to write and post this chapter.

Special thanks to Amethyst Blizzard and Elizologist for leaving me amazing reviews that keep me writing and helping me explore this story in ways that I never thought possible. Your insight is invaluable to me!!

As always, please review! Free cherries to all that do!! :)