This actually came off a homemade video project for Spanish Class that I watched. It was called 'Spanish Wars'. The storyline is somewhat alike, but I've changed a lot of things for the story to fit the Bleach characters better.

Disclaimer: We do not own Star Wars, Spanish Wars, or Bleach. You will not sue.

Pairings: IchiRuki, minor Ichihime fluff, implied HitsuHina (w00t!)

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cue 'Star Wars' theme music

In a galaxy far, far away,

A force has been wreaking

destruction on the Alliance.

This force has been mysteriously

taking people captive, and

they are never seen again.

Now, the Jedi Order has

sent out a talented young

Jedi in an attempt to stop

these kidnappings.

BLEACH WARS

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"Come on, Padawan," a disgruntled young boy with white hair barked out. "We need to go!"

"Yes, yes," an angry-looking young man with brilliant orange hair grumbled as he followed his Master. "I'm coming already. And I don't know why you're my master even though you're younger than I am."

"Oh, shut up."

"You know," the white-haired boy, whom we shall call Hitsugaya, said after a while. "I once was an innocent boy just like you-"

"What the hell are you implying?" the orange-haired one, who we shall call Ichigo, grumbled. Hitsugaya ignored his Padawan's mutterings and continued on.

"-I had a nice, normal family."

"Are you trying to imply something?" Ichigo grumbled. Once again, Hitsugaya ignored him.

"However, one day, everyone I knew mysteriously vanished, starting with my mother, and I was without a purpose in life. And then the Jedi Order took me in, and I was with a purpose again." Hitsugaya looked around. "Padawan? Where did you go?"

Suddenly, gunfire burst the air. Hitsugaya blocked the laser bolts with his lightsaber, dubbed 'Hyourinmaru', and slashed his attacker.

"You are-!" he said.

"I am… Ichimaru Gin," the man said, holding his hand over his wound. Hitsugaya knocked his gun, christened 'Shinsou', out of his hand.

"What are you now?"

"I am… an idiot."

"Other than that."

"Oh… a bounty hunter."

"Who sent you?"

"He was…" Gin coughed. "He was…" The silver-haired man wheezed and expelled his last breath.

"Crap, he's dead. Now he can't tell me who sent him," Hitsugaya grumbled, somewhat redundantly.

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The Padawan had long since forsaken his Master to look in the forest for a place to take a leak, to all intents and purposes missing the small, unobtrusive sign labeled 'Do Not Stray from Path'. And since he had somehow gotten hopelessly lost, he continued to wander around until he heard a soft voice humming an alluring song. He followed the music and came to a random stream with a gazebo next to it.

In the gazebo was a pretty, young princess with dark hair and violet eyes. She absentmindedly trailed her fingers in the clear, bright water as she hummed a random song.

Ichigo stared in awe at the beauty in front of him.

"Excuse me," he finally said. "I was passing by and heard you sing. I think you have a beautiful voice."

"Thank you. I am Princess Kuchiki Rukia," the girl said.

"And I am Jedi Padawan Kurosaki Ichigo," the lovestruck Padawan replied. "Will you marry me?"

"Of course!" Rukia said cheerfully.

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Elsewhere, Hitsugaya was wandering around when he suddenly encountered a Sith Lord, a "A Sith!" he cried. "Who are you?" He pulled out his lightsaber, dubbed 'Hyourinmaru', and pointed it at the dark lord, a benign-looking man with light brown hair, a gentle smile, and scary eyes. The Sith pulled out his own lightsaber, named 'Kyoka Suigetsu'.

"I am… your father," the man said. But he did not stop there.

"Your brother." He took a step forward.

"Your uncle." He took another step forward.

"Your grandfather." He moved forward.

"Your male cousin." Hitsugaya was now backing up, slowly but surely.

"Your sister." Hitsugaya now had a slightly disturbed look on his face as he slid away from the Sith.

"Your mother." Hitsugaya definitely looked off by this time.

"Your grandmother." The man took his seventh step forward.

"Your female cousin." Hitsugaya shifted away from the strange being in front of him.

"Your aunt." The man moved closer. s

"Your girlfriend." Hitsugaya was sweating heavily by now.

"Your pet llama." Hitsugaya made a choked noise.

"YOU!" Hitsugaya screamed before the man could go on with the litany of everything Hitsugaya had once known. He tripped backwards and landed hard against a tree. Nonetheless, he swung Hyourinmaru up and between the Sith's legs.

"AAAAAARRGH!" the Sith yelled. Hitsugaya took the chance to flee.

"Oh well," he muttered once the Jedi was gone. "It's only a small cut."

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Hitsugaya ran until he met up with his errant Padawan.

"Where have you been?"

"I think I'm in love," Ichigo said dreamily, hearts in his eyes.

"That's not important," Hitsugaya said. "I met up with a hermaphroditic multiple-personality-disorder perverted Sith Lord man-thing."

"EEEW!"

"Not that way! This Sith Lord was the one who took everything away from me."

"Oh."

"Come on, we have to stop it!"

"So there you are," the aforementioned Sith Lord said. "I take it Gin was unable to stop your Padawan, either."

"That piece of crap?" Hitsugaya wondered. "You sent him?"

"Mmmpfh!"

"Orihime!"

"You know her?"

"She's my best friend!"

"Fight me," the Sith Lord said, drawing Kyoka Suigetsu. The lightsaber hummed.

"Beware," Hitsugaya warned. "He can use a weird Force technique called 'Kanzen Saimin', or 'complete hypnosis'."

"That's just gross," Ichigo grumbled.

"Let's fight!"

"MMMPFH!"

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Elsewhere, Princess Rukia was running to where she felt her love in trouble. However, she saw a man blocking her path.

"Milord Kaien.… my fiancée?" She hugged him, knocking him from the only patch of shadow for yards.

"Crap, no shadow!"

"EEEEEW!"

Kaien-dono had turned out to be a rather odd-looking thing with what appeared to be a pair of masked, mummified heads in a tank of aquarium fluid.

"You're not Kaien-dono! You're not even human!" And Rukia ran off, since she had forgotten her weapon, 'Sode no Shirayuki', at home.

"Wait!" the poor alien Sith apprentice, who we shall call 'Aaroniero Alulueri', wailed. "I'm supposed to kidnap you! And I think I'm in-!"

"Hell no! And don't you dare finish that sentence!"

"That's not what I meant!"

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Sadly enough, Ichigo and Hitsugaya were on the losing side of the fight with Aizen.

"Sith! Traitor!" Hitsugaya screamed.

"Waaah!" Ichigo found himself slammed into the wall. Orihime crawled over and took the chance to cut her bonds. Just then, the backup appeared when a sweet-looking young Jedi with dark hair and chocolate eyes appeared.

"Hinamori! Ggghlk!"

"Waah!"

"Shiro-chan! No! AAAAAAHHH!"

"OH MY GOD THE JEDI ARE DEAD!" the newly-arrived Princess Rukia screamed. And she picked up Ichigo's forgotten Zangetsu and shoved it in the surprised Sith Lord's chest. Ichigo returned the favor by subsequently decapitating Aaroniero.

"Yay! The evil Sith are gone!" Orihime cheered. "And Ichigo-kun has a new fiancée!"

"Eeeh!" Orihime glomped the poor Ichigo, who screeched and fell over as Rukia laughed.

Miraculously, Hitsugaya and Hinamori used the Force to heal themselves and sat up.

"Reminds me of ourselves when we were younger, doesn't it?"

"Of course."

And they sat together with their arms across each others' shoulders as they watched the drama unfold in front of them.

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Kanzen Saimin- the official Bleach manga VIZ (?) interpretation of Kyoka Suigetsu's (and Aizen's) Shikai ability.

Spanish Wars- Spoof of 'Star Wars' that FRUS, a surfing clique, made for their Spanish project. They spawned the "Yo soy tu padre, tu hermano, tu primo, tu abuelo, tu…etc." (I am your father, your brother, your male cousin, your grandfather, your… etc.) thing.

Please review!

And I will be updating Espada next.