Author: welshrose PM
Dr. Harvey is annoyed with a reality programme boasting paranormal experts that Casper and Kat enjoy watching, and the new parents set out to help him leave them aloneat an extreme cost.Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Humor - Words: 1,159 - Favs: 2 - Published: 11-12-07 - Status: Complete - id: 3888724
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Disclaimer: I own nothing, except Really Haunted Live and the team members. Enjoy!
Every Friday, once Casper and Kat had put their young children, Adela and Conrad, to bed, the couple took the time to watch a slew of paranormal related programmes on television. During their late teens, they often enjoyed watching people getting spooked (The Trio preferred to do this in real life, though they did have a certain fondness for Really Haunted Live), but with two children to raise, now relished in any alone time together. That is, if Dr. Harvey would leave them alone.
"I don't understand how people could be so stupid!" he moaned, sitting close by to his daughter and son-in-law. "Clearly, the ghost…" Kat and Casper chose not to hear his rhetoric. This happened every Friday, and the couple was used to Dr. Harvey's frequent outbursts of indignation.
Saturday mornings were always fun, with Kat having to get up with baby Conrad at around 5 am, and Adela soon after. Adela, now two, could talk quite a bit, and especially enjoyed asking questions of her grandfather. On this particular morning, the question was, "Why?" Adela trooped into the kitchen and sat across from Dr. Harvey in her booster seat. "Hi, grandpa," she smiled. "Whatcha doin'?" she implored, her blue eyes shining. "Eating breakfast," replied Dr. Harvey, studying his newspaper.
"Because I'm hungry."
"Because it's morning."
"Because that's what people do in the morning. They eat breakfast."
"Because that's what people have done forever."
The child paused, and Dr. Harvey thought he was free to pursue his interest.
Dr. Harvey rolled his eyes, and Adela giggled, her dark hair shaking and looking so like her mother.
Meanwhile, the baby having been breastfed and put back to sleep, and having ensured that Adela was safe with Dr. Harvey, Kat and Casper were looking online. The website they were looking at was emblazoned with the words, "Do you have a haunted house? Then Really Haunted Live is looking for you!" Kat and Casper traded glances. "Should we?" ventured Kat. Casper looked at his wife sheepishly. "Well, why not?" Casper took the mouse from his wife and clicked, "Apply now". They would need a little help from The Trio, however. "You know, I remember a few years back when that reporter kept coming by the house with a camera crew, and—" began Kat. "Yeah, I remember," said Casper. "I don't think that segment ever aired, and it was certainly the end of that guy's career," he said, remembering how he had sneaked in and destroyed the footage while he was still a ghost. What Kat and Dr. Harvey didn't know wouldn't hurt them.
Over in London, a man called Barnaby Goode was fielding applicants for his show, Really Haunted Live. There were several interesting applicants all over the world, but one in particular stood out. Goode surveyed the picture of Whipstaff Manor and decided that this was one place he and his team had to visit. He placed a phone call to Maine, and spoke with Casper, who agreed to sign the necessary release papers and fax them over to England. Later that night, he assembled his ragtag team of paranormal "experts", actually a group of three actors hired from Her Majesty's Theatre a few streets over. "Team," exclaimed Goode in his office, "We're going to Maine!" The two men and one woman blinked. "Maine where?" asked one of the men, Charlie. "It's in America," explained Goode. "Oh, thank God," exclaimed Patsy, the only woman of the group. Charlie and the other man, Fred, knew that they had been to nearly every haunted establishment in Britain, and really needed a new gig.
Two days later, the Really Haunted Live team arrived at Whipstaff. Kat, who made sure that her father was home, showed them into the house and let the equipment get set up in the foyer. Kat had made sure the children were in bed, as it was now nearly ten o'clock. As the crew was making a lot of noise and Dr. Harvey was desperately trying to get some sleep, it didn't take long for Dr. Harvey to come rushing down the stairs. "Hi, Daddy!" exclaimed Kat. "Look who we brought!" Dr. Harvey's jaw dropped. "You brought these…these…phonies to our house?" he cried. "Oi," shouted Fred. "We're not phonies, we're ac—", but he was cut off by Goode stepping on his foot. "Anyway, let's get started," said Goode, rubbing his hands together in excited anticipation. Kat went upstairs briefly to check on the children, and as they were still remarkably fast asleep, soon joined everyone downstairs. Kat, Casper, and Dr. Harvey were asked to stay completely silent during filming, but were allowed to follow the crew around the house.
Charlie, Fred, and Patsy walked cautiously around the house, first starting in the basement. "Is there anyone here?" asked Fred. "Wait. Oh, God. I'm getting a vision," moaned Patsy. "There used to be…someone was… I need a moment," she trailed off, lost in her "vision". Dr. Harvey opened his mouth to protest, but Kat squeezed his shoulder and gave him a knowing look. These visions continued all through the house. Finally, the group reached the kitchen. "I'm getting something," cried Patsy. "Someone was in here. Someone who…who…" she said, her eyes closed tight. "Was hungry?" came a voice from behind her. Patsy stiffened. That had never happened before. Patsy opened her eyes to find Fred, Charlie, Goode, and the crew looking terrified. Patsy slowly turned around to find Fatso grinning at her happily, holding a bucket of fried chicken in his arms. "Want some?" he offered. Patsy let out a bloodcurdling scream, and ran out of the room, the rest of the group in hot pursuit. When the entered the foyer, they screamed again as Stretch and Stinkie watched re-runs of Really Haunted Live.
Running out the front door and into the waiting production van, the team sped off into the night. "Well," said Casper. "That was fun."
The following Friday found Kat and Casper nestled comfortably on the couch, watching a terrified Fred, Patsy, and Charlie run for their lives. Of course, ghosts and their accompanying sounds don't show up on camera, and the effect of paranormal "experts" running for dear life from a floating bucket of fried chicken was quite hilarious. Needless to say, that was the last episode of Really Haunted Live. There were several other programmes they could choose from, from the travel to horror genres. One person was conspicuously absent. Dr. Harvey now chose to spend his Friday evenings doing one of his favourite activities—debunking myths on the internet, and decided to leave Kat and Casper alone to enjoy their little witching hour.