Hufflepuff’s Common Room

Dexter and Mandark sat at a table adorned in white linen, letting the haze of cigarette smoke wash over them. Neither of them felt like it would be appropriate to join in the drinking or the smoking or the other so-called glamorous activity of the day. Raised in the future, they noted the disastrous after-effects of both activities, and neither was willing to risk their genius in order to look cool.

Mandark folded his hands upon the table, ignoring two rather tall, pretty brunette women giggling and staring at him. A vein throbbed in his temple.

“There’s lots of easy women here, isn’t there?” Mandark muttered to Dexter.

“If I knew what that meant, I’d give an answer,” Dexter shot back.

“Don’t tell me you don’t know what it means to be easy.”

“…No.”

“It means you’ll have sex with anyone.”

“Oh. So I’m not easy.”

Mandark eyed him curiously, almost afraid to figure out the thought process going on. “…What?!”

Dexter remained pensive and ignored Mandark. Mandark snorted and rolled his eyes. The two girls swooned at him. Mandark felt like snapping at them to get away. The act was due to start any minute now, and Mandark didn’t want to miss a minute of it.

Dexter looked like he felt the same. Mandark lightly punched him in the shoulder, smirking.

“Maybe you’ll see someone gorgeous here,” Mandark offered. “Someone worth dating, eh?”
Dexter glared at Mandark. “Because you’re such the expert on women.”

Mandark pursed his lips. “More so than you.”

“Already bickering, I see.”

The two of them looked up to see a sandy blonde man, with a crisp black suit and a red tie. He oozed sleazy charm, and Mandark immediately took a dislike to him. It was understandable – after all, he was clearly based on Carter Richardson.

Dexter nearly puked when he saw Carter, but Mandark just eyed him curiously.

“Nice to see you, too,” Mandark said coldly. He prayed that his disdain wasn’t out of place.

Clearly it wasn’t. Carter’s facial expression didn’t change. “Aw, can’t we get over our problems? I didn’t mean to forcibly kiss Miss Debussi.”

“Forcibly kiss.” Dexter rolled his eyes and hit his head on the table. “You’re a real piece of work.”

“Better un-slump,” Carter frowned. “The Diamonds are up in two minutes. And it wouldn’t look good to Mr. Mordechai if the Diamonds’ manager is hung over.”

Dexter and Mandark watched Carter’s retreating back with matching defiant stares, silently cursing him.

“What a jerk,” Mandark finally spat out.

Dexter was about to speak when the curtain on the stage rose, revealing a shimmering silver backdrop and five girls, standing in front of microphones, backs to the audience. The one in red was obviously Dee-Dee, and a girl with lightly curled black hair and an emerald dress appeared to be Nora. There was another blonde whose hair was done into pin-curls and whose dress was a deep shade of purple; it could have been Ellen, they weren’t sure. A fourth girl with dark tan skin and a golden silky number was definitely Natalie Faye.

The fifth girl sent Mandark reeling. Brown hair with black tips, pinned back into a Chinese bun, and a dress of pale black. There was no questioning, especially when the five girls pivoted on their heels and showed their faces to the audience.

Dee-Dee was on the far right, and to her left was Natalie Faye. In the middle was Nora herself, looking radiant and giving Mandark way worse thoughts than Dee-Dee did. To Nora’s left was Ellen Rourke, narrowed eyes and blue eye-shadow making her best features pop. And to the far left was none other than Susan, Mandark’s feminine side and – until recently – inhabitant of his mind and his mind alone.

Mandark stared at Dexter. “Who’s that on the left end?!”

Dexter shrugged. “I found a drawing of her in my sister’s room, just thought I’d use her.”

“And her name?” Mandark inquired, thoroughly scared. How would Dee-Dee be able to draw a picture of someone he wasn’t even sure existed in his head? Yet another question to add to the growing pile.

“Uh… I think I named her Emily,” Dexter responded uncertainly.

Mandark nodded blankly, noting the tinkle of a grand piano. The whole set seemed so… elegant. He was shocked by the appearance of Susan – completely mind-bending; he’d have to ask about that later – but he was far more captivated with Nora.

She was more beautiful than he’d ever seen her. Her black hair fell along her collarbone, partially covering up the plunging V-neck of her dress. A diamond brooch was pinned where the fabric straps over her breasts met, holding the dress together, and Nora’s chin was pointed towards it, red lips closed and calm. Her eyes, lined with green shadow that matched her dress, were just as calm as her facial expression. Like she was born to be up there.

And Mandark was taken aback when a voice other than Nora’s began to sing. It was Natalie. She was an amazing singer anyway…

“Love is blind, as far as the eye can see…” Natalie swayed with the music’s rhythm, her hair rippling slowly, entrancingly. “Deep and meaningless, words to me…”

Dee-Dee suddenly gripped her microphone gently. “Easy, lover; I need a friend…” Her eyes closed, emotion overwhelming her. “Road to nowhere… twists and turns, but will this ever end?”

Then came a voice. A voice from nowhere, exploding onto the scene. “Yes my dear, you know he pleases me!”

“Pleases me,” the other four girls echoed Nora.

Mandark was shocked. Nora couldn’t sing. He’d heard her. She was terrible. She couldn’t carry a tune in a crate, much less a bucket. Dexter was obviously fantasizing there, but for some reason, Mandark believed the fantasy. He believed that Nora was really up there, belting about how someone was… ahem… pleasing her.

“But short-term solution ain’t no revolution – there’s just no release for me!” Nora finished before launching into the chorus with the other girls.

Someone with red stringy hair sat down next to Mandark, but he wasn’t paying attention. His eyes now moved to Susan… she was sure to sing soon.

“Too much of one thing is bad enough… but something’s coming over me to make me wonder – if too much of one thing is just as tough,” the girls cooed. “I need to know the way to feel to keep me satisfied…”

Next was Ellen Rourke, caressing her microphone like a lover might. “Unwrapped myself from around your finger… hold me too tight, or left to linger…”

“Something fine,” Susan breathed, her voice smoky and dark. Kind of how Mandark sounded when he sang. Except he was crap, too. Dexter had done an amazing job in stretching disbelief, that was all Mandark had to say. “Built to last… Slipped up there – I guess we’re running out of time too fast!”

“Yes, my dears, you know he soothes me!” Nora chimed in again.

“Moves me,” the other girls agreed.

“There’s no complication,” Nora continued, taking a step forward. “There’s no explanation – It’s just a groove in me -!”

“So… these are the Diamonds, then?” the man murmured. Mandark turned and realized that it was Douglas Mordechai next to him. He flushed, embarrassed. He should have said something.

“Oh yes, Mr. Mordechai,” Mandark enthusiastically responded. “I’m so sorry I wasn’t paying attention…”

“Not a problem…” Douglas shrugged. “You’re just nervous about the girls doing their best. But that’s clearly not a problem with them.”

Mandark had to agree. Even Nora, who was normally talent-less, was amazing. Not a note out of place.

Nora’s voice ripped across the club again. “What part of no don’t you understand?”

Nora appeared to be looking across the room at someone. Mandark’s eyes moved over to where Nora’s were staring angrily. Carter Richardson. But then her eyes moved again as she sang.

“I need a man…” Mandark and Nora’s eyes met for a brief second before she looked back to Carter.

“Not a boy who thinks he can -!”

Nora looked down at the ground before bringing her head back up. “A boy who think he can!”

As the other girls sang the chorus in the background, Nora held a high note for longer than was possible. At least, that’s what Mandark thought. Much as he hated to admit it, Dexter’s machine was amazing. Mandark wanted to reach out and touch Nora...

“Quite the song they have,” Douglas noted. “They have four more, correct?”

“Yes, five-song set,” Mandark nodded.

But somehow I doubt I won’t stop being amazed.

…

“Baby!”

Dee-Dee threw her arms around a familiar-looking boy as Dexter, Mandark, and Douglas wove their way backstage. Dexter was grinning very obviously; Emily was toasting Ellen, both with shot glasses filled with gin. Dee-Dee and her paramour were chatting eagerly, and Douglas had wandered up to Nora. Dexter noticed that Mandark was smiling at everyone, but kept his eye always near Nora.

Dexter seethed. This was supposed to be HIS fantasy world, not Mandark’s. Of course, he didn’t know that, so there was no stopping the simpering simpleton. Dexter wandered over to Douglas’ side, just in time to hear the end of his sentence.

“…Especially that first song,” he told her. “Your group has such energy about it.”

“Thank you, sir,” Nora smiled, completely modest. “You honestly think we can do well?”

“Think? I know,” Douglas asserted, lighting up a cigarette. Dexter winced but grinned at Nora. She grinned back.

“Dexter, this is Mr. Mordechai. He thinks that the Diamonds have a future,” Nora said airily, almost as if she couldn’t believe it herself. “Isn’t that great?”

But she, too, seemed distracted.

Douglas stepped away to talk to Dee-Dee, who was more of the de facto leader of the Diamonds and knew more about what signing a contract would entail. Dexter took the opportunity to sidle closer to Nora.

“Worried about Carter?” Dexter mused.

“Of course,” Nora whimpered.

“I can handle him.”

“Just like Mandark handled him?” Nora questioned. “You men are so stupid. I mean, Mandark’s got that lovely bruise on his thigh because of Carter.”

Dexter frowned before his eyes widened. “He – how do you -?”

He was interrupted by the sound of a door slamming open. Nora’s eyes widened. Dexter’s head swung around and he saw something… weird.

It was Carter Richardson, but instead of frowning, he was grinning.

Grinning at Emily.

A/N: Yes, I’m throwing a bone to the original ‘Something I Believe In’ fans by including the OC Susan (or, in Dexter’s world, Emily). Susan was a character I adored, yet could never find a use for half the time. In fact, at times I find her easier to write for than Nora, mostly because she acts JUST LIKE MANDARK.

A/N 2: Find the song that the Diamonds sing familiar? That’s because it was one of the Spice Girls’ biggest US/UK hits, ‘Too Much’. It has a very vintage feel, so I threw it into the mix after realizing the song I wanted to use apparently didn’t exist.

DISCLAIMER: I don’t own Dexter’s Laboratory. The current list of my Dexter’s Lab OCs: Nora, Susan/Emily, Ellen, Carter, and Natalie. (There just aren’t enough characters in Dexter’s Lab to create a fully fleshed-out story.)